April's Real Blog

Friday, October 12, 2007

And . . . Flashback!

So, Mom and Connie started 2 tell a story from when Mom was young, Mike was a kindergartner, and Liz was a baby. They described Connie wearing a black coat with a white fur trim, white belt, poofy white hat, and white mittens. She had Lawrence w/her. Mom, holding Liz in a lil snowsuit, had a stippled jacket and skirt which transformed into a stippled trench coat during her conversation w/Connie. She also had on a big, poofy hat, and she had Mike w/her. Mike tried smiling @ Lawrence, but Lawrence kinda sulked.

NEway, they told Iris that Mom was all, "Hey, Connie! U look gr8! Another d8 2nite? --U lucky dog!! ..And I've got 2 go home 2 meatloaf, diapers--and a tired husband..." And Connie told Iris abt being like, "Wanna trade?"

I kinda remember Mom telling me this story B4. I kinda think that 2morrow's installment is gonna B Mom and Connie talking after Connie's d8, and how it didn't go v. well. Poor Iris. What has she done 2 deserve this next reminisce-a-thon?


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  • At 7:23 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    I'm sure I don't know. Maybe they're trying to do a mercy killing thing by boring her to death. What you should really be worried about is her long-hidden desire to be rid of John. After all, without him, no you.

  • At 1:48 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. You act as if listening to Connie tell the story about her past is dull and boring. I always thought Connie was very interesting when I was little. Lawrence told me how she brought men over to her house when she was single, and they would stay up all night, and he could stay up all night too, if he wanted, as along as he didn’t bother anyone by making any noise. Then the next day, Connie would ask Lawrence all kinds of questions about who it was that spent the night, and what they looked like and their names, and if he could help her find her underwear, which ended up in all kinds of different places in her house. It was always interesting to me.

    Of course Lawrence fell asleep at school a lot; but I still wanted to trade with him, at least for a night. These days staying up all night isn’t as exciting as it was back when I was young. The best part about not working at Portrait Magazine anymore is I don’t have to stay up late, and I can sleep as late as want in the mornings.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 2:05 PM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    I'm guessing that Connie stopped being the 'fun' mother Meathead Mike thinks she was when Greg came into the picture. Knowing your brother, he'll never, ever be able to figure out why she's grateful to have a husband when he shares your mother's delusion that mariage is a trap.

  • At 2:43 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…

    Dear Dreadedcandiru2,

    Marriage is not a trap. A man has a choice with marriage. He can say, “I do” or he can say, “I don’t.” No sir, Mr. villainous Amazon catfish, the real trap is when your wife says, “You can’t start your own business with Josef Weeder because I think I am pregnant. I wanted to change medications, so I waited for the first one to leave my system, and it just happened.” That, Sir fish of cat, is a trap.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 4:45 PM, Anonymous liz patterson said…


    You know I know it is not right to criticize our mother, but this one time I just have to point out how it was not very nice of Mom to call Connie a dog, I mean Connie must already be self-conscious about her looks, and also, she really looks more like a man than a dog, plus, Mom also told me recently that she didn't think Connie was actually so lucky after all, since neurosyphilis is what made her get bad eyesight and a saggy face until she finally got it treated a couple years ago, so really, we should feel sorry for the town whore, and not throw lots of stones at her.


  • At 7:42 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Slightly older little sis. Cheeze and rice! This thing you wrote about how we should not throw stones at Connie Poirier! What are you saying?

    Of course, I read it after the door-to-door throwing stone salesman has come by; and I spent the whole afternoon training the kids how to throw stones over the fence at Connie when they see her in her yard. My clever little daughter uncovered the idea that she could put a red napkin on the stone and say “Hi-Ya Kowabunga Super-Stoney!” and it helped her accuracy quite a bit.

    Now you’ve ruined what could have been a great Patterson family bonding moment. Gee thanks, sis.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 9:16 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    hey, foax. sorry i m so l8 posting. after school, i got ger 2 cover 4 me @ lilliput's so i cd sneak over 2 the hospital an' visit gramps. he had that oxygen thingie over his nose an mouth but was awake and i cd c in his eyes he was glad 2 c me. i played sum of his favourite tunes on my guitar and sang, and his eyes looked v. happy. when he fell asleep, i took iris out 2 dinner @ that cute little café across from the hospital, food 4 thot. i told her abt what's been going on in school an' stuff. she thanked me and thanked me. sed it was so nice 2 get out and have sum nice food and convo.



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