Harmonica and Guilt

Well, Liz found another way 2 get attention this wk. She wandered over 2 the hospital and when she was in the main lobby, Mom spotted her and took her in 2 C Gramps. Afterwards, Liz came over 2 the TTH, and I was sitting @ the kitchen table, like, "How's Grandpa, Liz?" And Liz, taking off her jacket, went, "He's awake, but not responding. Mom and Iris R w/him." I sed, "I wish he was just like he used 2 B. I want him back!" Liz was like, "Me 2." I asked, "Do U still have his harmonica? I gave it 2 U when U went up north." I of course knew all abt her giving it away, but I felt like bringing it up. Liz sed, "April... I gave it 2 one of my students." I was all, "But it was HIS! It's a family keepsake!" And Liz did that indignant-Patterson gesture, placing her hand on her sternum, all, "Jesse was a special kid. I wanted 2 give him something that meant a lot 2 me!" I went in w/"Doesn't Grandpa mean a lot 2 u?" And Liz was like, "Don't make me feel guilty rite now, April!" while closing her eyez and pting her face up towards the ceiling. And I went, "OK... then when?"

Hrm, doncha just luv how Liz totally leaves out the part abt how Jesse STOLE the harmonica. And how the harmonica meant so little 2 her that she hadn't even noticed? And how Jesse is so "special" that she hasn't kept in touch w/him, despite her big, fat promise?

Apes

WHOSE harmonica?

K, so Liz wrote this last nite:

April,

First I want you all to remember that I am very musical, I love to sing and every year I put it on my "resolutions list" that I want to work harder at it and maybe get good at it someday, I have to confess that I do not have a lot of musical talent like April or Grandpa, or any writing talent like Mike and Mom, I take after Dad which means I have talent only for my job and also for a boring hobby like trains, except I don't like trains, I haven't figured out what my boring hobby will be yet, Mom says that since I'm a girl of course my hobby will be babies, she's probably right.

Well anyway the reason I didn't tell you more about my visit with Jesse was that I was afraid you would be mad, I did something I don't think you will like, see, me and Jesse went into his bedroom and closed the door and sat on his bed and Jesse came close to me and he said, "Miss Patterson, I've been wanting to be alone with you in my bed for ages!" and I said, "I know Jesse, your guilty conscience must have really ate at you," and Jesse said, "Yeah, sometimes, I know it's really not nice to want to do that kind of stuff to your teacher," and I said, "It's not nice to steal from anybody, Jesse, even if they're not your teacher," and he said, "Oh, yeah, right, I mean, I thought we were talking about something else," and then I knew that Susan Dokis can't be that great of a teacher if Jesse is having this much trouble following a simple conversation.

Anyway then I told him, "This was my grandfather's harmonica," and Jesse said, "I know, I took it last year when you were packing, I wanted something of yours...to keep," and then he said, "I'm sorry Miss Patterson, I should never of taken it," and of course that made me feel bad because Jesse gave me so much, like my spirit name, and I felt guilty, so I said, "No, you shouldn't have, I should have given it to you as a gift," because I should of read Jesse's mind that what he would want most of all would be Grandpa's spitty old harmonica, and not something more personal to me.

Here's the part that will probably make you mad April, I gave the harmonica back to Jesse and I said, "Here...learn to play it really well and remember me, OK?" I know this was drastic but you know he will need a special reminder of me since I am never going back to Mtigwaki ever again, now that I did my promise by going back one time, and also now I don't have a boyfriend there, so why bother, my life will be down south now, hopefully with the husband that my guide the Good Witch of the North has picked out for me, I will try really hard to remember Jesse, probably I will every time somebody steals something from me.

Anyhow then Jesse promised to learn the harmonica real good and then he said I taught him a lot of stuff and he wished I hadn't gone away, and then I closed my eyes and my lips puffed up with righteous Pattersonianism, that was exactly what I came to Mtigwaki to hear, how great I am, and then I thought, "What an awesome gift, and I only had to give him that nasty old harmonica to get it, I didn't even have to buy it with my own money!", just then I felt a hand on my chest and I opened my eyes and Jesse was touching me and I said, "If you're looking for something else to steal, I keep my money in my purse, and I left that at Gary and Viv's house!", then I did a sticky-outty tongue laff but Jesse said no, he was hoping we could play a game, I asked what game, and he said, "Noble Young Brave and Captured Missionary Lady," and I said sure and asked him how to play, and Jesse said I would have to get into a special position, but just then Aunt Marg opened the door and said the visit was over.

More Mtigwaki stories tomorrow, I have to brace myself to tell the next part, all I will say is, I was super brave!

Liz

K, so here's sumthing I wanna know. How come Jesse knew that the harmonica had belonged 2 Grandpa Jim, but NOT that Gramps had given that harmonica 2 ME, and that I had given it 2 Liz when she was 1st moving up 2 Mtig? Y no mention of it having also been my harmonica, eh? Was the fact that I gave it 2 Liz, when I was feeling all sentimental an' stuff, so unimportant 2 her that she never told Jesse and whoev else she told abt the harmonica 2? I think I'm really hurt rite now.

Dunc, thanx 4 offering 2 get the harmonica back. I think it's a really bad idea 2 reward Jesse 4 stealing it ("Oh, U stole it? That just means I shda GIVEN it 2 U!" ::rolleyes::) an' 4 perving after my sister who's so clueless she cdn't tell the kid was trying 2 DO her!

Apes

Harmonica

So Liz told me a bit abt visiting Jesse in Mtig. This was after she'd talked w/Viv and then w/Gary abt Paul hooking up w/Susan. NEway, when Gary an' Liz got 2 the house, Gary was all, "Margaret! Look who's here!" And Marg was all, "Elizabeth! We've been xxpecting U!" And Liz sez she "bravely" put on a happy face and that after she'd gone in and given her jacket 2 Viv, Jesse walked in2 the kitchen. He looked abt 17 yrs old and, according 2 Liz, "a little bit like Jeremy Jones in the grade-8 pictures." Liz was, like, "Jesse? Oh, my gosh! U've changed so much!" And Marg told her, "He's doing good in school, when he goez--an' he luvs music! He playz that harmonica U gave him all the time!" Liz: "Harmonica?" And Marg: "Sure! The one U gave him the day U left Mtigwaki!! Can I make U sum tea?" And Liz was like, "Yes....Thanks." Oh, my, first she had tea with Viv, then coffee w/Gary, and more tea w/Marg? No wonder Liz had the total jitters an' cdn't sleep 4 2 nites str8 when she got back (which was like 11 dayz ago, but she's still telling what happed in bits an' pieces, all Patterson style, U C).

NEway, after Marg went 2 make the tea, Liz, like, sidled up 2 Jesse and asked, "Hey...have U got a secret U wanna share?" And Jesse was like, "No... But I've got sumthing I want 2 give back."

I actually do know what happed next, but Liz forbade me 2 tell yet, cuz it's not "proper," and also she mite want 2 tell the next bit cuz she's "not sure [she] can trust [me] 2 do it correctly."

NEway, more 2 come. . . .

Apes

News Wire

Well, Liz didn't post abt the next bit of her visit, but no worries. I found a lil article from the Mtigwaki Tattler:

White Goose Returns

By Aunt Marg

So, we've had some excitement in these parts, what with the return of my nephew Jesse's formerly favourite teacher, Elizabeth "White Goose" Patterson (sorry, Liz, but her really, really loves Susan--and he's learned so much in school this year). As you all probably know by now, Miss Patterson arrived a day earlier than we expected, thanks to the "amazing" life she leads, which includes helicopter pilots who show up to give her rides to places when she was planning to take the bus.

Liz had an unhappy surprise when she learned that other thing you all know by now, that Paul "Suds" Wright and Susan "Chipper" Dokis have fallen in love, and that he was already at her apartment in the teacherage when Liz arrived. And surely you all heard the little exchange that occurred right outside of that apartment when Liz and Paul had their "just happened" dialogue.

So, of course, the next thing that happened was that Liz hopped over to the Crane half of the teacherage and, reportedly, sobbed to Viv that she needed "tea and sympathy." Viv remarks that since Liz has been gone, she's noticed that her tea supply lasts much longer than in used to! So, Viv made some tea, and these two ladies sat down for a chat. According to Viv, Miss Goose told Viv that she "had no idea" about Paul, since they reportedly "wrote to each other" and "talked on the phone." She therefore "never had a clue." Furthermore, when Paul told her that his transfer had come through, she thought it was to Toronto. But now she knows it was to Spruce Narrows (his original transfer request): "He was transferred up HERE!"

Viv tells me that her reply was, "He's a northerner, Elizabeth. He'd never adapt to the city..... And this thing with Susan, well, --One thing led to another, and...." But Miss Liz cut her off before she was able to finish that sentence and explain just how one thing led to another, leading up to that intervention we all had. That poor boy really needed help seeing what was obvious to the rest of us, that Susan was obviously loving and devoted. She's loyal, and steadfast, hardworking, with a gentle sense of Ojibway native humour, and she always looks out for Paul. She always has, even when they were kids on the Pow Wow trail. I know the young people are often drawn to the glamour and drama of dating southerners from the big city, but really, it was time to get some sense into that boy's head.

But as I was saying, Liz interrupted Viv. She pointed out that we all knew that Liz was coming here, and that we all knew about the transfer. Also, we all knew about his dating Susan. She wanted to know, "Why didn't anyone tell ME?!" Vivian thought fast and said, "...We thought it was none of our business."

Viv tells me she considered this the best reply because Miss Patterson is always saying that things about her personal life are none of our business. Surely there are many of you who recall when Jesse innocently asked her whether she prefers bikini briefs or thongs (because he wanted to know what to get her for her birthday), and she told him "None of your business!" Or when she was buying hot chocolate and Kraft Dinners at Phil Goulais's store, and Phil asked, "Say, does Paul like you on top or on the bottom?" And she snapped "None of your business!" She didn't even give poor Phil the chance to explain that he meant the top or bottom of the emergency phone tree.

Well, there is more to this story, as you know, but many of you were curious to know what passed between Liz and Viv right after you saw her slam that door shut following the big blow-up outside of Chipper's place. Thank you, Viv, for granting me that quick interview at the laundromat.

Ohhh, so he got that other transfer! Who knew that one was still active? I guess he never requested Toronto, eh? Oh, or what if he did request Toronto, without cancelling SN? OMG, Liz, this so seems like sumthing U wd do. I mean, he cd say, well, "I'll let fate decide whether I shd B in Spruce Narrows or Toronto! Hm, I guess there's a reason fate wants me in SN, now what cd it B?" Doesn't that SOOOO sound like U?!?!?!?

Well, I think I might B moving through the stages of grief on2 acceptance. MayB. I'll keep U all posted.

Apes

Edit: I just found out about the convo where Gary tells Liz that Paul applied 4 transfers in both places and the Spruce Narrows one came thru first. Yup, I gotta say, that's totally a "Liz" way 2 handle such things!