My letter: "What grows around comes around!" I sooooo did not write that. Thanx 4 throwing in that lame & senseless line, Ma. Oh, & U know Y our computer has a virus? Cuz my stoopid 'rents open every friggin' attachment they get in e-mail. Duh. And also, the original version of my "Jeremy Jones" paragraph went like this:
A couple of days ago, when I was walking home from the store, I ran into Jeremy Jones holding hands with Becky. They looked soooooooo cute! We talked about our gig @ the Freemans coming up this weekend & Jeremy mentioned Becky's demo tape. She was kinda shy about it.I don't know Y Mom thought she had 2 go & change that, but it totally soundz like Jeremy was w/a girl other than Becks, so I wanted 2 clear that up.
Liz: I will let Liz write in about her letter, cuz she told me she wants 2 B the one 2 xplain it & let us know which parts Mom changed, etc.
Mom: So I'm more "headstrong" than Mike or Liz? Is that code meaning that I have a spine? Oh, & Mom? Your "but I most of them had turned" makes no sense. MayB U shd spend less energy "editing" my letter & work on yr own a bit harder. & so Mom's l8est fiction about me & Becky is that now we R only on "casual speaking terms". Whatevs, mom. & how lame is her theory abt team sports. BTW, I'll bet U won't B surprised 2 hear that Mom's big "author" breakfast was just an xcuse 4 Jelly Fatterson 2 gorge on more baked goods. She actually wrestled a danish out of Margaret Atwood's hands!
Dad: Oooh, I m soooooooooooooo rebellious! Please, as teens go, I'm pretty mild, doncha think? & Dad? Y oh Y do U keep going on & on abt this Ted guy that U barely know? Is this part of yr campaign 2 seem like U have interests other than trains? I swear that's the only reason he took up jogging, so he'd have something other than trains 2 write abt in the montlies.
Mike: Y on earth do U & Dee celebrate yr fakey-wedding anniversary insteada yr real 1? Bizarro. Oh, & yeah, we get it, U R like the best writer evah. Except in yr letters U don't seem like U can write v. well.
Dee: Oh, rite, poor, overworked Mike. Save yr energy 4 filling those scrips accurately, insteada making my bf OD on Prozac. Mike deserves about zero sympathy, if U ask me (& I know U totally did!).
Gramps/Iris: Iris bought a new dress! Zzzzzzzzzzz. Oh, & I tried that recipe of hers, but then Mom gobbled it up B4 I even had a chance to taste.
Pets: Hey, U know I had a long passage in their about Dixie & her havarti-cheese shits, but Mom cut that part out. She said the doody jokes R, like, her domain. So, boring pet letter again. I don't blame U if U wanna just skip over them.