My Mom Hates Mosquitoes
Liz says that one of the best things about Aunt Bev is that she isn't Mom. Yup, I think she's got a point. Well, more news soon. . . .
Wouldn't you rather have that than a creepy porcelain doll of me when I was little?
Oh, by the way, I just got off the phone with Mike. Would you believe he called to ask for Mom's recipe for boiled turnips? Apparently, Dee was crying about how she always has to do all the cooking, so Mike promised to make their next dinner. Boy sure can be clueless!
Oh, I see Becks is back on IM. I'm gonna see what she wants.
Hi, everyone! I am a new dad to a beautiful, precious baby girl. She means the world to me, but her mother, my D[amned] W[ife], is this cold, withholding, driven career type who wants nothing to do with our baby. She'd barely squeezed the poor babe out before she was planning her next business meeting and checking the continuing-ed course catalogue. Not that this stopped her from extorting money
from our friends at the baby shower. I admit I was the one who really wanted to have a baby, but I figured once she held our little "bundle of joy" in her arms, she'd melt, and her maternal instincts would kick in.
Well, I'm here to tell you, that didn't happen. I was so embarrassed in the hospital when the nurse asked DW if she wanted to breastfeed, and she just laughed and said, "If Mr. Mom over there cannot do it, you'd better just run along and get us some bottles and formula".
So anyway, I'm a full-time SAHD now. My wonderful boss, whom I'll call Mr. Moneybags here, lets me do my accounting job from home
defrauding the Canadian governmenton paternity leave. I carry the baby around in a Bjorn all day, so I think I know what pregnancy must feel like, LOL. It's the toughest job I'll ever love, but I must admit I get lonesome, especially since DW goes away on business trips and job-related courses all the time. I think I'm up for the sacrifice, but I can't help thinking about the beautiful, selfless, intelligent girl who dumped me after we dated in high school, the lovely, um, NotLiz. Anyway, baby's waking from her nap, gotta go!
wanda kragletooth said...
You may not know me, but I have a "Elly Patterson Horror Story" I would like to share.I went to Lillypad's or whatever that place is called to find a book for my grandson and she kept following me the entire time and kept making snide comments about what I was wearing. I don't know what she was talking about because I dress 1000x better than that old hag.