April's Real Blog

Friday, July 29, 2005

Liz? So Impressed!

Liz tells me that after work, that uggo Howard tried to impress her with a "race to the lights" and he impressively chewed up his tranny & screwed up his tires. So now she's just thinking, "Shit, I hope this doesn't mean he'll take his car in to Gordo and get wrapped up in that soap opera". Cuz somehow, in Milborough, every1 seems to get in2 every1 else's biz.

Another thing that Liz is worried about? That if she tells the 'rents about what's going on at work--especially Mom--this will turn into an occasion for something we call a "Patterson moment of extra-deep profundity" (PMoEDP). The Patterson in question (PiQ), usually Mom, will say something that's supposed to be very serious, philosophical, yadda, yadda, yadda, and then stare off into the distance. Whoever is being talked 2 @ that moment is supposed to gaze all stunned at the super-duper deepness of it all. The only thing that makes this kind of moment extra scary is when the PiQ manages to work a pun into this PMoEDP. I think they love 2 do this since it adds an extra degree of difficulty in the annoyolympics or something.

Oh, well, Liz and I have some bracing ourselves 2 do!

Apes out


  • At 12:23 PM, Anonymous DrBear said…

    Good gravy Marie, April, you're about to have a Gilmore Girls moment!

  • At 12:24 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dr. b, do i get to be rory?

  • At 11:48 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    ok, well, we're staying with my aunt an' she has a cable modem an' a way sweet powerbook. so here i m.

    it turned out that the mover guy was married with 2 little kids. an' i m not gonna be a homewrecker cuz just look how my dad's mistresses managed to wreck my fam! i wuld not want 2 do that 2 some poor little kid.

    mom sez she has to get online now to talk to her new internet lover, so i gotta go.

    lylas, becks

    p.s.--maybe u could try telling ur mom to fuck off when she starts talking like that? maybe that would make her stop an' send u 2 ur room, which wuld be the perfect escape from her yapping.

  • At 8:24 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    yay, becks! i'm glad u r back. sounds like u made the right decision about that guy. i tried tellin' ma 2 fuck off once when she did her pmoedp once, but insteada bein' sent 2 my room, i got a 3-hour lecture & then i had 2 clean & organize the garage!


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