April's Real Blog

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

"Forklift Barbie!"

So, apparently Liz finally made it to work. I know that cuz Lawrence called again all pissed, like, "Is that sister of yours ever going to get here today?" Then, "Oh, here she is, late, late, late. Well, just for that I'm finding an excuse to put her on the forklift today". So I said, "Isn't that kinda like that thing ppl are always saying about my mom? Passive-aggressive?" And then Lawrence was all, "Yeah, who do you think I learned it from? Anyway, Sister Liz is gonna be Forklift Barbie today!" Then he just hung up.

Dad asked me what that was all about, so I told. "So, Liz is late! I hope Lawrence doesn't KILL her over that, because then she'd be the LATE Liz! Get it? Get it?" Peeps, you don't know how hard it was just to resist rolling my eyes really, really hard, but instead I said, "Dad, speaking of late, weren't you supposed to be going to the clinic about now?" And he's all, "Oh, God, I forgot I don't have the day off!" And then bye-bye punster.

Well, I hope Liz doesn't hurt herself or anyone else with that forklift. And that she manages to get home today without Gordo or anyone else tricking her into more tours or pulling her in2 anyone else's dram, know what I mean?

Uh-oh, Gerald's trying to get me on IM. I can only guess what he wants!

Apes out


  • At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Duncan said…

    Watch out, Apes, Gerald was in the drug store this morning. He came out with this tiny bag. Maybe he got some "family planning" stuff to take you roadside before you go to the farm.

  • At 10:12 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    thanks for the warning, dunc. i can't let ger in while the 'rents are away, cuz mom has connie an' anne keeping an eye on me when i'm home alone.

    how'd u get ur 'rents to unground u so fast?

  • At 10:20 AM, Anonymous duncan said…

    My mom went out before I got up. My dad was playing with his choo-choos in the basement before he left for work. I pretended like I was all interested in the choo-choos, and my dad almost wet himself he was so happy. Then asked him if I could go out, and he said yes and gave me $20.00. Sweet!

    So when are you leaving for the farm, Apes? I see no signs of packing yet.

  • At 10:46 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    well, dunc, i actually found the "closet cam" u musta set up that last time u visited, so i taped a picture in front of it. that's why u didn't see that i've started to pack (so far just the short-shorts an' bikinis). mom & dad haven't told me when i'm leaving yet, cuz 4 some reason they think i shd have more surprise in my life. whatevs, right?

  • At 12:07 PM, Anonymous Liz said…

    Duncan I found the camera in the bathroom too. It's been flushed down the toilet. Can you tell?

    I can't wait to see how ticked off Mom will be when she finds out I've been driving a forklift! I don't even have a licence for that! I know someone who knows someone, who knew someone who was killed at a home improvment store operating a forklift! For real! I can't wait to tell Mom! She's going to flip her lid and maybe we can not talk about Anthony!

  • At 12:19 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    liz, i imagine mom cd spend @ least a wk on the topic of "how can lawrence let liz drive that thing after everything i've done for him?" this plan might just work!

  • At 6:06 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    omg yea my mom found the cameras dunc planted in r house but instead of flushing them she took them down to the police station an' they said they were gonna go have a little chat with our old pal dunc.

    i hope this gets him grounded again.

    liz, my mom sez she is not surprised that lawrence an' his ugly husband r prejudiced about women. she sez gay men hate women an' that's why they're gay. also, she sez most gay guys hate kids, but she thinks that is a sign of smartness.

    LYLAS, becks

    P.S.--sorry i wuz offline so long i was working on my singing. perfecting my awesome talent really takes some dedication.

  • At 6:51 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    liz sez lawrence & nick don't hate women but that they've got this big, fat guy who works there who alwayz makes dumb comments about 'em. she sez he's pretty smelly & she's not even sure y l & n let him work there.

    wow, dunc, sounds like u really went 2 far w/those cameras & will get in2 serious trub.


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