Doodz, it's Mother's Day! Happy Mom's day 2 the maternal 1's out there! So, like, U all know I've got Elly Patterson 4 a mom, an' she crayzee an' all, but, y'know, she's still my mom & I wanted 2 do sumthin' nice 4 her, eh? And so I made her a special brekkie, and every1 knowz how much my mom luvs the pastriez, eh? So, I made her favourites: palmiers, bear claws, beignets, Napoleons, baked Alaska, crèpes, Belgian waffles, Viennese anise cookies, cheese cake, fudge squares, baklava, raspberry tart, apple torte, cherry turnovers, chocolate cinnamon rolls, caramel popovers, chocolate eclairs, cannolis, strudel, and cream puffs. Which, like, took 4evs. And I arranged all these on the dining room table, with a vase of Mom's fave fresh flowerz, a silver locket w/a baby pic of me on 1 side an' a current pic on the other, and a Mom'z day card that was more xpensive than it had NE rite 2 B. And a big cup of latte just how she likes it, w/skim milk (LOL!).
So, U'd think Mom wd B, like, s00per touched by all this, rite? But she was kinda like, "Oh, thanx, April. Then she gobbled all the food, guzzled the coffee, looked @ the necklace an' the card, put 'em aside, stretched, and said, "Oh, April, U know what? Your big brother and Dee are coming by with Merrie and Robin this evening, so they can have a night out for Mother's Day! Dee tellz me that Merrie even made me a card!" An' I was all, "But U're not her mother, U're her grandmother. There'z a separate grandparents' day, U know." And Mom was all, "Don't change the subject, April. NEway, I'm really looking forward 2 having the little onez here this evening. It'll B an xcellent day 2 have them in the kitchen B-cuz it'll make me feel like a MOM again!" And I'm all, "AGAIN
? When xactly did U stop B-ing my
mom?" And Mom was all, "Oh, April! Spare me the teenage melodrama! And Y don't U get bizzy cleaning up this mess! We can't have all these crumbz in the dining room, what w/Robin having just recovered from his l8est ear infection!" And then she was off 2
NEway, I'm a bit depressed now, and Ger'z off w/hiz fam doing a special "Mater's Day" retreat in Ottawa. So, I'm gonna meet Dunc @ Horny T's l8r (natch) an' mayB sum of us will get 2gether 2 jam in the afternoon.