BTW, our new keyboard guy is Luis!
Wow, I can't believe I've been boring U all w/this story abt the Saturday B4 this past Sat, an' I never even mentioned that our new keyboard guy is Luis. NEway, he is! And he even has a driver's licence! But back 2 that in a sec!
So we were all in the kitchen, snacking on Choko Chip cookies, when there was a "HONKK!!" from the driveway! I was all, "That's Luis! 'Pop'? We're going over 2 Gerald's place 2 practice. Our new keyboard guy is here." Dad was, like, "Have fun", but he was all mopey-faced. I was, like, "And don't eat yrself up over the speeding ticket, OK? Everybody understands [that U R a midlife-crisis-having, trying-to-impress-teenage-boys freak], so there's no need 2 B embarrassed." Then Dad was, like, "Yr friend Luis...is he driving?" And I was all, "Yeah. He's got his licence--But don't worry. We'll B safe. His Dad is with him!" And Dad sat there with his eyebrowz up an' a v. worried look on his face, LOL!
So, the next thing that happed was. . . . OMG! My mind just went blank! I don't remember what happed next. Aw, d00d, I have a feeling I won't remember until 2morrow morning, when I write my next entry. ::sigh:: Sorry peeps!
Apes
So we were all in the kitchen, snacking on Choko Chip cookies, when there was a "HONKK!!" from the driveway! I was all, "That's Luis! 'Pop'? We're going over 2 Gerald's place 2 practice. Our new keyboard guy is here." Dad was, like, "Have fun", but he was all mopey-faced. I was, like, "And don't eat yrself up over the speeding ticket, OK? Everybody understands [that U R a midlife-crisis-having, trying-to-impress-teenage-boys freak], so there's no need 2 B embarrassed." Then Dad was, like, "Yr friend Luis...is he driving?" And I was all, "Yeah. He's got his licence--But don't worry. We'll B safe. His Dad is with him!" And Dad sat there with his eyebrowz up an' a v. worried look on his face, LOL!
So, the next thing that happed was. . . . OMG! My mind just went blank! I don't remember what happed next. Aw, d00d, I have a feeling I won't remember until 2morrow morning, when I write my next entry. ::sigh:: Sorry peeps!
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 6:50 AM
30 Comments:
At 7:56 AM,
Anonymous said…
Yo, apes, no problem about not mentioning me 'til 2day. As a matter of fact, I sort of 4got all about myself 2!
BTW, Gordie helped me pick out a cool beret recently!
Luis
At 8:49 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I am so glad you picked Luis and not me to play keyboard for your band. I’m different enough, and I don’t need to be put up on a stage where people can see how different I am. I just tried out on keyboards because you have been so nice to me. You don’t have to beat yourself up for telling me I wasn’t in your band with your Blog today and not in person. So there’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s OK.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 8:58 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. I read your Blog entry today. I must say little sis, the way you approached dad with forgiveness, and understanding and comfort---It is so not like a Patterson!! What is wrong with you? Have all of mom’s lessons gone in vain? Did you have temporary insanity? Are you sick? What happened to the little sis, who just last year used to relentlessly and justifiably criticize her best friend Becky McGuire? I thought I had taught you my patented “banging your head against the wall” move. Connie Poirier said you used it with her last March. You could have at least tried that.
Well you may understand dad’s speeding with other people’s kids in the car [means dad is a midlife-crisis-having, trying-to-impress-teenage-boys freak], but Deanna and I are not so forgiving. Whenever dad drives our children, one of us or mom must be with him. Your friend Luis has the right idea. Don’t let the dad drive. If you continue to forgive dad, you are going to set a bad precedence and he will never feel the appropriate guilt for his actions. He has a lesson to learn, and his children are the ones to teach it to him. Think about that missed opportunity, the next time you are tempted to say something nice to dad.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 9:02 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, i dunno which luis u mean iz ur new keyboard guy. i guess i now know it’s not me. ru talkin’ ‘bout the luis who is kinda big and wears a beret like gordie duroccher does? or are u talkin’ ‘bout luis who looks like the taco bell chihuahua and wears a beret like gordie duroccher does? or ru talkin' 'bout sex-change luis, the cafetorium lady who wears a beret like gordie duroccher does?
neway. ur a bettah person than i am. i tried ur speech u did 4 ur dad on my dad. i called him up & sed, “don’t beat urself up ovah ur drinking binges, ok? everybody unnerstandz, so there iz no need 2b mbarrassed 4 passing out drunk n fronta ur hotel.” my dad sed, “ru drunk, jeremy? no teenager talks 2 their dad that way.” i sed i wuz tryin’ sumthin’ new. dad sed, “y don’t u sit down & have sum choko chips? then mebbe u’ll start thinkin’ str8.” so, my speech didn’t work like urs did.
At 9:04 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about your noos (father) and his speeding ticket. I have to say that while I am not as impressed with your noos (father) as I once was, I am very impressed with you. You are obviously following in the footsteps of your ngashi (mother), who is a fine woman. You spoke like a netaawigid (adult person) to your noos (father).
Today, I am back in Otter County. I had a good visit with your sister. I know she plans to visit you in Milborough as soon as her school year ends. She said she was looking for summer work that was like her profession, instead of doing lawn and garden work like she did last year. As it turns out, the Otter County Schools need a summer school teacher. Your sister could stay with my uncle or get her own apartment for 2 months or she could stay with me in my spare bedroom. I would love to spend every day with my sweet girl instead of just weekends. Then after the summer was over, she could return to her regular job in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees). I mentioned this to your sister, and she did not tell what she thought about it. But I could read in her eyes, that she was interested. I am looking forward to the end of the school year.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 9:07 AM,
howard said…
April,
A few lines from “The Dentist and the Teenagers”, which premiers tonight, that I thought was especially appropriate, considering your Blog entry today:
Teenager #2
Honkk!! That’s Luis!
Pop! We’re going over to Gerald’s place to practeese.
Our new keyboard guy is here.
He’s sharp, so do not fear.
The Dentist
Have fun.
A ton.
You are
Number one.
Teenager #2
And don’t beat yourself up over the speeding ticket, OK?
You know the teenagers love you anyway.
Everybody understands, so there’s no need to be embarrassed.
Everybody knows that a middle-aged dentist must be embraced.
The Dentist
Your friend, Luis. Is he driving?
Is he a teenager, worth the striving?
Teenager #2
Yeah. He’s got his licence—but don’t worry.
Luis is not so pretty, so there’s no hurry.
We’ll be safe. His dad is with him!
He prefers a dad who knows how to drive him.
The Dentist
Will Luis finally be the one?
So this dentist can have some teenage fun?
Why I am so jealous of his dad?
Can a speeding ticket be so bad?
April, trust me that with music, those lyrics are still pretty awful. I have no idea what kind of reaction we will get from the audience, but now that Thora left Thorvald McGuire (Becky's dad) yesterday, Thorvald is driven to see his opera succeed. We'll see.
Howard K.
At 1:08 PM,
Anne said…
Yeah, so Gordie taught Luis how to wear a beret like he does--by keeping it n place w/bobby pins! So not cool. I told Gordie this, but he said "I'm not gonna beat myself up over my style, hon. A beret can fall off ez, 'specially when sk8boarding. Everybody understands, so there's no need 2 b embarrassed." I don't know what's up w/this scenario where people @ Milborough say the same things. :-|
I also think Luis is wearing rose-coloured glasses like Gordie does, ndoors. So if u c him bumping nto walls & tripping over gear @ practice, u'll know why.
Vicks
At 1:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, iz the same luis that haz a gf who looks a lot like u? or iz the luis that iz that haz a gf who looks a lot like rebeccah? i can't get peeps str8ened out n my head. vicki, i know wut u mean 'bout peeps @mboro sayin' the same things. it's almost az if mboro peeps haven't had an original idea n yearz & we just keep doin' variationz of the same thing.
At 1:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Jeremy,
I like doing the same thing over and over. When you're special needs, you need consistency. At school, it's always the same thing. April feels bad. I help her feel better. Justin helps me feel better. I like it. It makes me feel safe.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 1:35 PM,
Anne said…
Hmmm....ur prolly thinking about the Luis who's dating the girl who looks a lot like Becks. The other Luis--Luis Rosenstein, u know, the new guy @ R.P. Boire who has a British Jewish dad & a Catholic Ecuadorian mom--dates the girl people mistake 4 me sumtimes, & her name is Nikki Simcox. Her locker is right next 2 mine b/c of our last names, & she's always getting detention notices on her locker 4 uniform violations or not turning n her homework. So I'll walk 2 my locker & have a total freakout @ first but then feel all relieved when I find out I'm not n troub. Nikki's cool, I wanna make that clear. She's always been cube 2 me. We get along & all, even if her taste n music is totally lame. Half of her iPod playlist had Abba & Ace of Base songs. *shudder*
It feelz so weird 2 not b able 2 have original thoughts sometimes. Apes told me & Marjee @ Horny Tim's about the time last January when she was teasing Liz 4 being hung over & coming up w/all sorts of synonyms 4 being drunk, & she was freaking out bcause she remembered Mike talking about a time him & his friends were talking about other words 4 drunkeness, & she felt powerless 2 protect herself from the lameness.
Vicks
At 1:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
nikki simcox=abba & ace of base songs. thass scary. i think i have talked 2 her thinkin’ it wuz u b4. wen she told me “mamma mia, here i go again. my my, how can i resist you?” now it makes a lot more sense. sort of.
i know wut u mean ‘bout original thots. like this thing ‘bout april’s dad givin’ her a lecture ‘bout not doing wut he just did, wen she found out he gotta speedin’ ticket. she had that convo w/him earlier this year ‘bout terrible info on the net, wen she found out her dad had alreddy been lookin’ @terrible info on the net. it’s like her dad can’t give her a lecture w/o havin’ done the stuff he’z lecturin’ ‘bout. just another xxample of unoriginal thots.
At 1:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
Vicki,
I remember the words for drunkenness day. That was a fun day. What's wrong with Abba? They are on my approved play list for Justin.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 2:19 PM,
Anne said…
So do I, Shannon! It was totally weird, how we were coming up w/synonyms 4 everything, like I was 4 the fat people @ Wal-Mart.
Abba is just boring w/a capital B! Even tho it begins w/an A, so that's kinda confusing. Maybe heavy music makes Justin's OS crash.
Speaking of heavier music, I'm working on Nikki's taste. I gave her an Opeth CD I burned-- "My Arms Your Hearse" from 1998. I told her since they're Swedish like Abba she mite dig them. She said if she can dance 2 it she'll add them 2 her iTunes.
Vicks
At 2:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
Vicki,
Does Celine Dion count as heavier music? Justin has it on his play list, too. Maybe I can try to get Opeth on Justin's list, if the librarian approves. One of my special needs friends, Dylan, has a lisp and he says, "Opeth" whenever he means to say, "Oops." I wonder if that Swedish band is special needs like Dylan.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 3:04 PM,
Anonymous said…
shannon, the name "opeth" was taken from some book. it doesn’t have anything to do with lisping.
At 3:05 PM,
Anonymous said…
Jeremy,
Thanks for shattering my dream, Jeremy. Just kidding.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 3:13 PM,
Anne said…
Jeremy's rite--Opeth was taken from a novel called "Sunbird" & used 2 b spelled "Opet."
2 b honest, Shannon, Celine Dion's music counts as wussier than Abba, Ace of Base & Air Supply combined. Maybe 1 of us can sneak n2 the Integrated Program room & change up Justin's playlist if u want. :)
Some ppl might say the members of Opeth are special needs since u can't tell what the vocalist is singing half the time....lol. Thankfully they print the lyrics on the CD sleeve.
Love ya too!
Vicks
At 3:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
Vicki,
I think if you could sneak into the Integrated Program room that would be better than if Jeremy did it. The last time I took Jeremy in there, one of the teachers thought he was trying to take advantage of me. I wish. I don’t think you will make the teachers suspicious.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 3:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, thanx 4 the opeth info. u know a lot 'bout musick, evn if u don't seem 2 like bandz w/'a' az the 1st letter of their name. how do u feel 'bout ac/dc?
At 6:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
Until Jeremy mentioned it in his post, I didn't realize all the Luises wear berets! I feel so unoriginal!
NEway, Eva introduced me to Jeremy @ lunch 2day!
Luis
At 6:31 PM,
April Patterson said…
don't worry, mike, u know mom is perfectly capable of tearing dad a new 1 w/out my help, iykwim. i don't blame u 4 not wanting him 2 drive yr kidz newhere unless he'z supervised!
apes
At 6:32 PM,
Anonymous said…
luis, oh, ur the luis eva introduced 2 me @lunch. i think i sed u looked a lot like gordie duroccher then. sorry, dude. i didn't know u were that luis.
At 6:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I think you have missed my point. Dad no longer listens to mom. Remember the leering incident in Mexico? I think she has screeched and yelled at him so much, he is immune to its effects. I wish I were immune. The point is that Dad will listen to you. Sometimes he calls you his best friend, which is nice, but as I have mentioned to you before, dad has friendship issues. If new ones are going to be torn, it falls upon you, the last child at home, to do the tearing. I’m not going to beat you up over the missed opportunity again, but I hope you understand the need to embarrass and shame Dad into doing the right thing. It’s for his own good.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 6:57 PM,
April Patterson said…
I dunno, mike. if he'z gotten 2 b immune 2 mom yelling, an' i act like mom, i think he'll build a quick immunity 2 me doin' the yellin'. there'z prolly a better way!
apes
At 7:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. Learn a lesson from your big brother. If you want to keep your friends to yourself and not have to deal with Dad stealing them away from you, then you need to take action when you have a chance. Gordon and Tracey haven’t invited us to a New Years Eve party since 2004 and I heard Lawrence and Nick held their New Year's Eve party in a private club and some of the "beautiful people" attended. Dee and I don't qualify for “beautiful” status apparently. Even after we invited Lawrence and Nick to “help” us move last year, like we needed help moving from one floor to the next in our apartment, which we didn’t, but it was a handy excuse to get together with them, they still didn’t invite us to their party. But you know who did get invited, eh?
There may be a better way to do it, but if you’re not careful, first you’ll find Dad showing off his car and speeding with them, then the next thing you know he has helped start your friends’ businesses and socialized with them, and when you come home from university, your friends are closer to Dad than they are to you. You have to nip it in the bud, little sis. Now is not the time for indecision. Now is the time for action. Or rather it was the time for action 2 Saturdays ago. Don’t make the same mistake next time.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 8:40 PM,
April Patterson said…
mike, do u think mayB if sum1 had been able 2 warn lawrence an' gordon abt dad b-ing a friend stealer, they mighta resisted him? mayB if i get my friendz 2 sign sumthin' sayin' they'll never b dad'z pal but alwayz mine, like a kinda friendship contract?
apes
At 9:34 PM,
Anne said…
Netime, Jeremy. :-) I just know about music I like. As 4 "a" bands, I dig Accept, Amorphis, Anthrax, Annilator & Alkaline Trio, 2 name a few. AC/DC is cool, but I got so sick of hearing "U Shook Me All Night Long" @ school mixers.
That sounds like a good plan, Shannon. How about if I upload some tunes if I'm n the Integrated Program room 2 tutor u on geometry or something? (Altho Apes is a lot better @ geometry than I am!) That way I won't call ne attention 2 myself. Don't worry, I won't put ne metal n the mix. Just some uptempo punk-pop like Sum 41 or Rise Against.
Jeremy has the hardest time n & outta school. When my mom picked up me & him from the North York Tim Horton's we went to after a JV curling game, she said "I'm so relieved you brought a mature adult to keep an eye on you & ensure that no hormone-crazed boys take advantage of your impressionable personality." No ID Jeremy showed her convinced her he was r age.
Vicks
At 1:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. When Dad is throwing money at you at just the time when you need it to start a business, it is hard to refuse him. I don't think if Lawrence or Gordon had signed a friendship contract, it would have helped. I don't blame them. They needed the money, and I was at university. The main thing to do is to try to stop Dad from offering the money in the first place. Maybe you could convince him to retire early, so he would be on a fixed income and less likely to want to invest. Give that a shot, unless you can think of something better.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 1:17 AM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, good 2 hear 'bout the ac / dc. i remembah that tyme w/ur mom @north york. that wuz mbarrassin', plus i think ur mom wuz flirtin' w/me, which wuz evn more mbarrassin'. 'course i cud b wrong 'bout the flirtin' part. i get confuzed by that stuff a lot.
At 1:19 AM,
Anonymous said…
Vicki,
If you could upload tunes for me in the Integrated Development room, I might have to think you were even nicer than April Patterson. That would be really cube of you. I think I used "cube" right.
Love,
Shannon Lake
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