April's Real Blog

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Packed & Ready

Oh, I am so ready to go to that farm! Of course with my luck, I'll end up being sorry I ever said that! Mom inspected my suitcase to make sure nothing looked "like something a pole dancer would wear", an' luckily, she didn't find the secret compartment where I hid the lowrise short shorts, little bikinis, and teeny-tiny tops. Girl's gotta be crafty, u know?

Liz had a creepy feeling that the scary Howard guy from work followed her home. She wants to believe she's just being paranoid, but Carol Enjo told Mom that she did see an unfamiliar car kinda lurking and pulling away real slow. It gives me the creeps to think about it.

Oh, by the way, after I passed the suitcase inspection (LOL), Mom actually said, "Now, April, maybe while you are in Winnipeg you can make friends with a nice blind or deaf girl". I musta had a big WTF look on my face, cuz she went on to explain, "Well, you have that nice mentally challenged friend Shannon, and that's a good start, dear, but you need more diversity". I said, "But Mom, isn't it just as bad to make friends with someone because of their disability as it is to not be friends for that reason?" She looked all surprised and shocked for a second and then said, "Don't twist my words!" And stomped away to complain about me to Connie.

Well, gotta run!

TTYL, Apes


  • At 8:45 AM, Anonymous Liz said…

    Maybe it's just Duncan spying on us again Apes. But seriously, something doesn't feel right. Do you think maybe Anthony is stalking me? If it's Howard, then I'm all kinds of scared. Should I tell Mom? Maybe she'll go after the man in her pit bull mode and we won't have to worry about him anymore.

  • At 9:05 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i dunno, liz. u've known ma a whole 10 yrs longer than i have, so u cn prolly judge this better than i cn. it is really creepy tho. it reminds me of when i was 4 & u got me thinking the whole house was watching me.

  • At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey, Apes, you seem to be catching on!

    I had one of those self-congratulatingly altruistic, politically correct mothers too. It's SO MUCH FUN to call them on their hypocrisy, illogic, and idiotic premises. If you develop your timing and your delivery, you can really flip them out sometimes. Good luck!

    Josephus Rex Imperator

  • At 11:48 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    wow, jri, if ur ma is NEthing like mine, u have my sympa. yeah, i have to say my mom seemed 2 b taken by surprise.


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