Listening to Mom Makes Silence Sound Good, Too!
Dad & I were eating our breakfast & talking abt The Kids in the Hall. We just got our season-3 DVD's yesterday, yay! So Mom shuffles in2 the room, pours her coffee, & loads up her plate with muffins, scones, waffles, & danishes. Dad lks @ me & rolls his eyez. Then Ma sits down & she gets that look she has when she's abt 2 tell 1 of her stories. Dad kinda sighs & sez, "Lemme guess, El. U're gonna tell us sum more abt yr trip home." She smiles all britely & sez, "Y, yes! U C, on the way home, after I had that luvly nite's sleep @ the police station in Otter County*, I was listening 2 the radio & switching fr. bad music 2 bad talk 2 more bad music 2 ads 2 more bad talk. So finally I turned off the radio & had 1 of those moments of profound Elly clarity." Dad shoots me another 1 of his looks & I have 2 bite my cheek 2 keep fr. laughing. "It dawned on me that wilderness radio alwayz makes silence sound good!" & she looked @ us like she'd just imparted sum super wisdom on us. I sed, "But Ma, Y didn't U just give Liz's CD's another chance? U gave 'em like 3 seconds B4 U gave up on 'em the 1st time, right? How do U know there's nothing in there U like?" Mom just shook her head & said I missed the whole point of today's installment but she def. had more 4 us 2morrow. Dad sez, "Ooh scintillating." Then when Ma's reloading her coffee mug, he whispers, "MayB she'll tell us whether she saw NE moose on the way home. Or NE quaint highway signs or adorable hicks selling stuff by the road." Mom's all "What?" & Dad's like, "Oh, I was just telling April I can't wait 4 2 morrow's lesson", & Ma got that smug look she gets all the time.
I mentioned in my comments that Robert Freeman wants us 2 play @ his house 2 entertain the NOLA rellies, but I didn't really have deets yet. I got e-mail from his grandson Huey. It turns out that if we do it, we'll B featured on that new reality show their fam's gonna B doing on cable. He sez the network wd pay us, but he wasn't sure how much. Becky, I forwarded the e-mail 2 U & told him U're the 1 who's handling the biz end.
Mom wants me 2 help @ the store after school 2day. Alwayz such a joy (roll eyes).
L8r,
Apes
*The other OC, yo!
I mentioned in my comments that Robert Freeman wants us 2 play @ his house 2 entertain the NOLA rellies, but I didn't really have deets yet. I got e-mail from his grandson Huey. It turns out that if we do it, we'll B featured on that new reality show their fam's gonna B doing on cable. He sez the network wd pay us, but he wasn't sure how much. Becky, I forwarded the e-mail 2 U & told him U're the 1 who's handling the biz end.
Mom wants me 2 help @ the store after school 2day. Alwayz such a joy (roll eyes).
L8r,
Apes
*The other OC, yo!
posted by April Patterson @ 7:54 AM
5 Comments:
At 9:05 AM,
howard said…
April,
Sorry to break from your topic of discussion but I just got a call from my lawyer. Apparently, Rhetta Blum went to the court this morning and applied in writing to the court to be relieved of her surety duties. He said the court has issued an order for my arrest. He is going to contact Gerald’s dad, Dr. Forsythe to see if he is ready to take over being my surety.
Toodles,
Howard Kelpfroth
At 9:10 AM,
April Patterson said…
that's terrible, howard! i had no idea rhetta was so spiteful! i guess she doesn't like feeling all "scorned" & stuff. hey, mike, did rhetta lash out @ u when u dumped her 2 get engaged 2 dee?
apes
At 3:27 PM,
April Patterson said…
becks, i don't think we will have a prob getting readE 4 that gig. that robt freeman guy soundz a lil kookie! o, & dunc sez he got an e-mail fr. huey saying that his bro riley found some "MC DunC" rap mp3's online & they mite ask dunc 2 do sum raps. then he sez huey was all, "p.s. don't tell gramps", so i dunno what-all that's abt.
ger u r alreadE done w/that paper? will u help me research mine?
apes
At 5:36 PM,
April Patterson said…
ok, so my mom let me go 2 the hospital after school but said i had 2 come 2 the store afterwards.
i had a hard time getting in 2 c ger, since i'm not family, but then dr. f. saw me & was all, "auxiliary gf april! what a nice surprise!" tried telling him i'm not the "aux gf" but he brushed me off & sed, "yes, yes, let's not quibble, that's not important rite now", as he pushed me toward's ger's rm. ger's got tubes stickin' out & he's awake & all, but just sort of staring in2 the distance. the docs say he's in a "catatonic state". fr. counting the pillz in his bottle, they can tell he's been taking twice the dosage he's supposed 2. dr. f., of course, blamez me. "miss patterson, he was obviously trying 2 maximize the libido-suppressing effects of his medication. 2 please u. which is strange, since i m sure that nice primary gf becky mcguire would b happy 2 service my gerald". augggghhh!
they let me sit w/ger 4 abt a half hr, but then they sed it was time 2 go, no exceptions, young lady!
so i went 2 mom's store & she was getting beatrice to reshelve all the books according 2 some weird scheme. "don't divide them by subject or genre. divide them by mood and subdivide them by the astrological sign of the author." i'm all wtf & u can tell that beatrice is thinking that 2 but is 2 nice 2 say. i was like, "mom, how 'bout u take a nice starbucks break & mayB i can write up a survey 4 the customers 2 c if they like yr idea 2 reorganise the bks." ma's taken aback 4 a sec, but then, "oh. that's a gd idea, oops child. i'll c u in abt 25 minutes." & out she goes. "omg, april, thank u so much", beatrice sez. then moira comes out fr. behind the "april's faves" shelf & she's all, "yr mom is psycho." & i'm like, "tell me sumthin' i don't alreadE know!"
so we did the survey till closing & every1 hated ma's idea, no surprise there. ma's all "mboro isn't readE 4 my brilliance." sure, yeah, that's it, eh?
apes
At 5:50 PM,
howard said…
April,
Sorry to hear Gerald is not well. I hope he gets better.
I am going to jail in a few minutes. Gerald’s dad, Dr. Forsythe is pretty sure he does not want to be my surety. Apparently he believes that “anyone who resorts to blackmail schemes involving innocent 14-year-old girls and my son deserves jail time.” My lawyer is looking into the local Milborough Bail Program, but they may not want to take me on, due to the highly political nature of my situation. Come visit me if you can.
Toodles,
Howard Kelpfroth
Post a Comment
<< Home