April's Real Blog

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Mom is here, Liz is there, ee-yi-ee-yi-oh

So Mom's been rehashing all week, and this morning was no exception, even tho she was just telling us abt a convo she had w/Dad when she got back. Long trip, totally worth it, Liz situated, yada, yada, yada. But I didn't realise till just now that Liz has told Mom she's not coming home 4 Xmas. Gotta say I'll miss seeing U, Liz, but also WTG! Cuz shizzit, look what happs when U do come home. & it's not like U need another New Year's with Granthony. Mom was blathering on & on abt how "priceless" quality time is, & I almost spat out my triple-shot grande latte, cuz I'd just gotten a txt fr. Liz saying "OMG, Apes, can I even tell U how glad I am that my time w/Mom is over? I thought it was gonna B forever!"

Mom is off 2 take Iris 2 yardsales, cuz Gramps was all "I don't wanna do that hen stuff." Nice, Grampers.

Apes out


  • At 11:09 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    weird thing just happened. mom's still out yard-saling w/iris, & dad's shopping 4 choo-choo suppliez w/dunc's dad. i just got back fr. visiting ger @ the hospital (his dad was called away on an emergency of some kind, so i got 2 sit w/him a bit longer).

    neway, so i just got back & the machine was blinking. i played it & it was becky's mom. message was "ha ha ha, they're big & they're perky! r u jellus yet, saggy-elly? hahahahahaha!" & then click. becks, do u know if yr mom's making a buncha calls like this? or was my mom the only 1 she wanted 2 share this w/? oh, well, whatevs, rite?


  • At 12:05 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    i dunno apes i haven't heard nething frum mom. u know i'm kinda worried she wanted 2 go frum a b cup 2 a ddd. it took her a long time 2 find a doc who would do that cuz most sed it would look strange.

    hey i bet granthony is the reason liz isn't coming home 4 christmas break which really surprizes me cuz u know i totally thought she would want 2 marry him. mayb she will end up married to this cop stalker guy, huh? hey i wonder how come all liz's bfs r so creepy? cuz really liz, think about it--granthony eric an' now stalker cop (well he doesn't count yet but great aunt jackie saw 1 of the billboards w/ liz on it an' i told her i knew the girl an' told her abt stalker cop an' she sez "well i'm psychic u know tell her not 2 write him off just yet b/c i sense that he's a stallion--or as i like 2 say, a thorvald--in the sack." an' i wuz all like eww on the thorvald part, but whatever. hey u know liz u should just call warren up an' ask him 2 marry u that might scare all the stalker guys off neway he's the only normal guy u ever dated.

    ok gotta go get cleaned up i wuz up til 3 am playing boggle an' i musta passed out cuz when i woke up i wuz face-down on the shag carpeting in the living room i have woofies in my hair an' carpet indentations on my face. great aunt jackie musta made it 2 bed somehow cuz she's in there snuggling her favorite bottle of jack daniels. funny thing is i actually won a lot more games then u mite thing prolly cuz all the old biddies were totally plastered. well really gotta go now gotta get clean an' wake aunt jackie up b4 those old hags show up again in less then a hour. i think i won't clean up the chex mix that got ground in2 the rug until 2morrow why do it now when u know there will just b more?


  • At 1:44 PM, Anonymous duncan said…

    Hey, Apes! Sorry yr mom screwed up the recipe again. MayB u should give me a recipe that yr mom can cook an' Ill c if my mom will pretend its Bajan.

    I asked my mom what recipe she tot yr mom an' my mom said "cou-cou" an' then started laughing an' laughing. I heard my mom talking 2 my dad l8r. She was still laughing. She said yr mom kept asking my mom all sorts of questions abt me, like what r my fav foods, what r my fav tv programmes, and even what r my fav colours. Yr mom said 2 my mom that yr dad should take us horseback riding like he used 2. My dad said I only took them 2 ride ponies @ the pony farm 1X 4 Duncans 6th birthday an' then they both started laughing so hard I thot they were going 2 bust something. NEway, they kept saying "Cou-cou Elly" 2 each other and laughing all night when they thot I wasnt listening.

    I went over 2 Kimmis this am 2 c if I could c her but her mom was sitting on the front porch. Mrs. L. started yelling @ me, saying stay away from my Kimmi u perv, Elly Patterson told me all abt u.

    I dunno, Apes, I just dont get yr mom @ all. Im glad shes going shopping 2morrow so she wont B there when I come over 2 jam.


  • At 2:48 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    wow, dunc, it is so weird that my mom wd badmouth u 2 kimmi's mom, cuz she was goin' out of her way 2 say how great u r when she got back fr. the yardsales 2day. what a psycho, no joke. oh, the recipes she's best @ making r the kind where u just throw all yr ingredients in2 a casserole dish & bake it 30 min. that she can handle ok.

    i think when my mom tried 2 make the cou-cou, she 1st used 2 much water & then dried it out 2 much. whatta loooooozer.

    becks, soundz like u can't w8 2 get home. tho i guess yr mom will b in "recovery mode" when u do. oh, btw, when my mom got yr mom's messg, she got all teary-eyed & ran upstairs. i almost felt bad 4 her, but then i found the list of chores she wrote up 4 me 2 do this wkend. yucko.


  • At 2:50 PM, Blogger A. Nonny Mous said…

    There is no way I want to come home for Christmas and be treated to Anthony begging me for what ever the heck he wants to beg me for at the moment, and having Therese chase me with a hatchet.

    Also, I just don't want to put up with Dee and Mom shoving Merry and Robin in my face saying, "You want one right? You know you want one. Get married and have one. Don't you think it's time for one of these? Tick tick tick tick that biological clock is ticking." NOOOOOO thank you. And now I have the added incentive of Mom and her matchmaking ad campaign. Besides, everytime I come home something bad happens and Anthony is always involved. I fall on ice at Christmas then the whole Howard fiasco. You know. I sometimes wonder if Anthony wasn't the one who poured the water on the walk so he could rescue me. Just like it looks like he had something to do with setting up to rescue me from Howard!

    So NO. Not coming back for Xmas, too bad I can't send for you April. It'd be nice to spend some girl time with you.

  • At 10:21 PM, Anonymous duncan said…

    Hey, Apes! My mom thinks KD an' a bit of curry powder baked in a casserole dish might fool yr mom. But my 'rents r rilly in2 the "cou-cou Elly" jokes an' the Bajan rum 2nite so Im not sure shes serious. What do u think?

    p.s. I tried 2 visit Kimmi again this aft an' her mom says 2 me, Duncan Anderson, if u set foot on r property Ill have u charged an' I got this handy govt brochure from Elly Patterson on what 2 do 2 u.

    Oh, man. Id go 2 bed again but I hafta wash the sheets 1st 'cos I do all the laundry 2 work off my lawyers bill.

    C u 2morrow.

    p.p.s. Beckers, if u want me 2 play next weekend, I need a bonus 4 Bing band leader 'cos I need sumthing left over aft my 'rents take my regular $.

  • At 2:06 AM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    duh dunc if we play the freeman's party we ren't getting paid it's 4 charity 4 katrina victims. either u donate ur time or u don't play at all. i would think u would want 2 play tho cuz u will get to do at least half the singing the freemans want u 2 do sum of ur rap an' r an' b stuff. i hope u can make it. i know mr. freeman will be pissed at me if u don't. let me know.

    man i m outside on the deck the air inside the trailer is so smoky u can't even c ur hand in front of ur face!


  • At 7:42 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dunc, abt the cooking, i don't know if yr 'rents were joking or not (who can tell w/g'ups?) but it soundz like something that mite work w/my mom. but who knows? mayB insteada trying 2 repeat what she just "learned" fr. yr mom, mine shd just make our dinner while she's there being supervised & take it home. i don't know y she didn't think of that herself.



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