April's Real Blog

Thursday, September 01, 2005


Since I never get tired of making fun of my fake blog, I'll pretend for a second that I'm posting there. Oh, look, peeps, a bunch of random pix that mean nuthing 2 U! Enjoy! LOL!

Okay, now back 2 my normal bloggin'. . . .

Well, now I'm not sure what deets 2 believe abt Gerald and Duncan's nite @ The Gig this past Saturday, where Kortney was auditioning 2 B a pole dancer. I mostly believe Ger's big confession & what Howard heard fr. Kortney, but then l8r, Ger posted w/sum ?'s 4 Dunc (oh, sorry, MC DunC) abt his part in everything. It's like I said in one of my comments, this is just like that movie Rashomon.

NEway, I have 2 fig. out what 2 wear 2 school. We have 2 wear uniforms, but we have diff. shirts, sweaters, pants, and skirts 2 choose fr. So I still have 2 decide which combo lks the best on me, only I'm stuck with navy blue, grey, white, and plaid. This is such a pain. I'm calling Becks!

Apes, deciding


  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    hey apes this is what i'm wearing 4 the first day:

    plaid skirt rolled up so the hemline is halfway between my crotch an' my thighs. then i'm gonna wear navy blue knee-highs an' mary janes with stacked heels. i'm wearing my white top with the shirt tails hanging out an' my navy an' gray sweater vest over that. i bought it a size 2 small so it will look really hott. then i'm gonna put my hair in pigtails. i'm going 4 a madonna/whore catholic schoolgirl look. it's important 2 make a stunning impression on the 1st day cuz that's how the grade 12 boys will remember u 4 the rest of the year!

    i totally agree with u abt the whole ger an' dunc nite on the town. ger is a big nerd an' his confession sounds real geeky an' lame so it sounds about right. i hate 2 say it but ger is rite dunc's story has more holes in it then dee's diaphragm. i think he's embarrassed abt doing sex stuff with a girl that looks like margaret hamilton (look her up on imdb, loozers, an' u'll know i'm rite!).

    i went over 2 marjee's last nite 4 pizza with her an' vix. they put a ton of "oregano" on the pizzas an' i got totally spaced out. i woke up on her living room floor at 4 am with drool running down my cheek. totally uncool. i don't know why every1 thinks pot is so great (well actually that wuz hash but it's all the same thing isn't it?). it's supposed 2 be fun but i can never remember actually having ne fun--i just pass out.

    ok later peeps! becks

  • At 8:40 AM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    oh dang i got that wrong it wuz pot on the pizza an' hash in the brownies. maynard did the cooking. figures.

  • At 8:48 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks, as u know, i have 2 pass my mom's "inspection" b4 i leave the house every day, so that just makes the whole uniform thing even worse. i guess i can alwayz change things up a bit 1ce we're @ school.

    i'm sorry u ended up passed out last nite. i kno it's upsetting whenever that happenz. :(

  • At 8:49 AM, Anonymous Marjee Mahaha said…

    I'm so sorry, Becky. Maynard promised he was gonna use real oregano & make "straight" browniez, but I guess he lied. Again.

  • At 8:56 AM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    yeah apes ur mom suxx but here's what u shld do. put nething sexxy u want 2 wear in ur backpack. leave 4 school early an' meet me in the girls' bathroom. we can fix ur unie there. i'll bring u some makeup.

    i'm not really upset abt passing out it's just annoying. how come every1 else gets 2 have fun with drugs an' i just take a big nap? so not fair.

    maynard is a big fat liar. i think he does that stuff cuz he gets a kick out of watching us get accidentally stoned. when i woke up he wuz on the couch laffing at me. oh well he's kinda cute.


  • At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Maynard Mahoney said…

    Sorry about that, Becky, but U look so funny when U pass out! But chill, ladies, I don't lie about the important stuff.

  • At 9:04 AM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    "i swear, her baby isn't mine!" isn't important stuff?!?

  • At 9:13 AM, Anonymous maynard mahoney said…

    OK, that was shitty of me. I guess I freaked out. I know Marjee wasn't w/any1 else so's it could have been some1 else's baby. I don't always act right in a crisis but I try to make up for it later. Marjee forgave me for that. I hope U can too someday.

  • At 9:45 AM, Anonymous duncan said…

    I dont care nemore who u believe, Apes. Weve been buds since K, an' I thought that meant something but mayB not.

    My 'rents were freaking on me this am. They got the bill from my lawyer, an' its like $10K. They said I hafta pay them back 4 it so 1st we went 2 the bank an' emptied my savings account ($283.37) an' then they emptied my toonie an' loonie jar ($71.00) an' then they told me I hafta give them 1/2 my allowance til the bills paid. I did the math, an' thats like 18 yrs 2 pay them back. An' then I did something stupid an' asked them abt interest. Now they decided they want interest 2 so Im boned.

    Im gonna ask my 'rents 2 send me 2 live w/ my aunt in TO, an' if they say no its ok w/ me if they send me "back home" 2 live w/ my nan on the goat farm. Newhere but Mboro. An' Im gonna sell my bass an' my 'puter. I dont need them neway 2 B a rapper an' the 'puter just gets me in2 trouble an' then mayB w/ the bass and 'puter $ Ill have the bill paid in 15 yrs.

    p.s. Ger, u r such a liar. An' u cant get hi from huffing Elmers School Glue, d00d.

    p.p.s. Beckers, I dont care nemore if u quit 4Evah 'cos I quit. U all think my music sucks neway.

    p.p.p.s. If ne1 wants help w/ French homework, dont call me nemore.

  • At 9:53 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omigod, dunc, don't b so mad @ me! u r my bud & i think u r rockin' on yr bass! pls don't sell yr bass or yr 'puter. u totally need them & besidez, i did a little checking & it turns out they r pretty worthless 4 resell value.

  • At 10:33 AM, Anonymous duncan said…

    I dont care. Im not gonna use them nemore. I asked my dad 2 drive me 2 the pawn store on Sat an' he said ok.

  • At 10:48 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dunc, i am coming rite over, ok? i m bringing my guitar & we r going 2 jam. music alwayz takes my mind off of my trubs. besidez, w/the 'puter, even if u decide u nev. wanna go online again, u will still need it for h'work. & i hope u don't decide 2 stay offline, cuz i want u 2 post here!

    neway, like i sed, i'm on my way ov. i'll be there prolly b4 u even have a chance 2 read this.


  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    hey, peeps, this is apes writing from duncan's house. i had 2 fish his 'puter out of the box cuz he was planning 2 take it 2 the pawnshop sat. he'd kinda 4gotten that he'll need it 4 homework, so he's @ least gonna keep this around 4 that. he's v. v. bummed rite now cuz of the summer he's had. his 'rents have been so mad @ him lately cuz of the legal billz & the time that's all taken.

    i also got him 2 take the bass out of the case & we jammed 4 a while. we did some raps cuz dunc's a bit tired of our old 4evah style

    neway, i'm writing cuz i'm hoping sum of u will post here & say sum nice stuff 2 dunc. i have nev. seen him this bummed. he's alwayz been the happy guy who cheered up the rest of us.


    p.s. becks, i know u've been upset cuz u think dunc got away scot free, but u haven't seen the way his 'rents have been treating him. they've practically turned his room in2 a jail cell!

  • At 1:14 PM, Blogger howard said…


    It’s no fun being drugged when you are not expecting it. At least in your case, nothing happened to you while you were drugged. I wish I could say the same about me.

    I am glad you are finding some way to show off your figure with your school uniforms. You are such a pretty girl; it would be a crime to cover it up. From your post, you seem to know that even the most wretched outfits can be improved with proper placement. However, you have not mentioned the most important part of your appearance – the accessories. Since you are 14, you may not have access to some of the nicer stuff. I have a beautiful gemstone cross, which would work perfectly with the catholic schoolgirl look and would set off your hair nicely. Let me know what restrictions your school has on accessorizing and I’ll see what I can do for you.

    Meanwhile, it’s back to “The Gig” today. They are rushing to be ready in time for their opening, and synchronizing all those light displays is keeping your uncle Ralph and me pretty busy. Kortney was pretty happy yesterday when I asked her about those underage kids. I think she has interpreted that as an interest on my part in her. I saw her looking at me a lot when I was working.

    Howard Kelpfroth

  • At 3:24 PM, Anonymous AnthDad2FranMilboro said…

    Your mom showed me some pics, April. Guess the eatin' was pretty good out on the farm, huh?

    I'm just jealous because the hospital food is awful and you're mom hasn't been by with double chocolate muffins today. :(

    Tomorrow night is the big opening at "The Gig" -- I guess they found another band -- and I'll ask around some of the employees let you know what happened with G&D and their naughty little trip Saturday morning -- if I can get anyone to talk, that is. I'm looking forward to getting out and mixing with people again.

  • At 4:16 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    oh man take a nap an' look what u miss!!

    first things first dunc i never sed ur music sucked. i just sed the band wuzn't good enuff 4 me. ok i know that sounds mean but it's not the same thing as saying u have no talent. u do have talent. i think i have more but that doesn't mean u have none. remember we were 2gether in a band 4 a long time an' i wldn't have done that with peeps that sucked.

    also u shld stay in the band cuz apes an' ger really want u 2. (ger just called me on the phone an' bitched me out 4 ruining ur life an' making u quit. as a rule i don't listen 2 ger but the important message is, he wants u 2 stay.)

    as 4 the $10 large...ok u an' i both know that u deserved 2 get punished 4 the whole camera thing it's against the law. but ur parents r being super mean they r crapping all over ur life like until ur 32 an' that's a long time. that's, like, old. it's not ur fault they hired u an expensive lawyer u coulda gone with the public defender. try telling them that. also i will call ur rents an' ask them 2 go ez on u. i can see taking 1/2 ur allowance 2 teach u the value of the dollar but not making u pay back the whole thing. they're being major butts. an' don't go 2 the goat farm! or sell ur stuff! u need ur puter 4 school neway. what else r u gonna type ur papers on? u know u belong in m-boro with ur friends ger an' apes. i know u we're not buds nemore but they really like u.

    granthony, don't call apes fat! ur an ass. she's not fat i already saw her those r just bad pics. i told her never 2 wear those brown shorts again. u know how it is sometimes liz an' apes' asses look way fat an' later it turns out they're not...sometimes even just minutes later...it's like a optical illusion or something. it happens 2 a lot of ppl the pattersons know. i hope it never happens 2 me! but apes isn't fat.

    howie i m sorry the wicked witch of the west is in love with u. thanx 4 the offer on accessories. we ren't supposed 2 wear nething but simple gold or silver earrings little hoops or studs that's it. totally suxx huh? i hate m-boro.

    ciao! becks

  • At 4:22 PM, Anonymous gerald forsythe said…

    Dear Duncan,

    You aren't answering your cell phone or my IMs, so I will post this here in case you happen to read this blog again. I am quite distraught over the idea of your leaving 4 Evah and Milborough entirely. You are my best guy friend. The prospect of going to high school without you terrifies me. You are so much cooler than me. Where else will I learn about the true intoxicating effects (or lack thereof) of alcohol and Elmer's glue? Who will hook me into the cool gossip sources? Who will have my back when the Grade 12 guys try to give me swirlies and/or atomic wedgies? Or provide me with his dad's used Penthouse magazines? April is my girlfriend, but you are indispensible to me as a friend.

    Also, you are a very talented musician, no matter what Becky says. I will be very sad if our entire band breaks up because then I will have nobody to jam with or to boss around.

    Please don't go, Duncan! I too will call your parents and beg for leniency on your behalf.

    Your devoted forever friend, Gerald

    P.S.--Remember when we were standing by the lockers and Jana MacDougall passed by and we both popped a boner at the same time? You won't have good times like that on the goat farm!

  • At 7:50 PM, Anonymous duncan said…

    Thanks, guys. Im going 2 think abt it some more. Ill let u no what my 'rents say after u speak 2 them.

  • At 9:38 PM, Blogger Vicki Simone said…

    Omigod I'm so sorry Becks! While I was @ Wal-Mart I called Marjee an' asked if she had oregano, meaning the seasoning that goes n2 pasta sauce an' not the code word that people use 4 things they could get busted 4!! Maynard musta been listening in since Sidekicks r easy to hack n2 (like what happened w/Paris Hilton!). I figured there must've been something strong n the toppings, since that Phish CD he was playing actually started 2 sound good.

    As for u Howard, Juliet sez she wants 2 see you n a job u'd excel at, an' she knows one of the directors @ this Scherma company. She figures since u made Granthony believe u were fighting that u'd b a natural at teaching people how 2 look like they're kicking a$$. She said 2 give her a call on her cell. :-)


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