April's Real Blog

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I'm Full of Grudge-y Badness

So, more on my convo w/Shannon yesterday. She repeated, "The ... tele..e...thon ... @ the ... mall is ... 4 US, ...April!..." Then she added, "Kids ... w/ ... special needs." I was like, "I didn't know that!" Only I guess I totally wd have if I'd asked sum1, like Eva or Ger, insteada just getting my bitch on. Then Shannon went on, all, "Re...be...cca[h] ... is ... singing 4 free ... an' ... there will ... B ... dan...cers ... an' magic ... an' it will ... go 4 ... 24 hrs!" She added, "Yr ... band cd ... B there! ...They ... want ... every...1 2 par...tissss...i...pate!" And I was all, "No. I don't want 2 B on the same stage as Becky and Gerald." Shannon was like, "Then ... it's no... prob...lem, man! ....There's gonna B ... 2 ... stages!!" And I was all, "Oh." And geez, am I grudge girl or what?


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  • At 1:36 PM, Anonymous Shannon Lake said…


    You’re not a grudge girl. You’re the nicest girl in Milborough, even if your hair is in your face all the time now. If you had your bangs cut like mine, you wouldn’t have that problem.

    I need to explain, I think. Someone in school heard me talking to you. They thought I was the one who was in charge of getting performers for the telethon. I don’t want you to be confused, since you are the nicest girl in Milborough. It would be too hard for me to do that recruiting job for the telethon. It’s not my job.

    I said, “Your band could be there. They want everyone to participate.” You still have to talk to the people running the telethon. That’s not me, even though the telethon is for kids with special needs. You can’t just show up. But they do want kids from school to fill 24 hours.

    Also, you need to tell them you don’t want to be on the same stage as Becky and Gerald, so they know to put you on different stages. I’m so glad there are two stages, so you could be there. I remember when they were talking about how to set it up in the mall, some people complained that two stages were too much for the space in the mall, but now I am glad they did two. I hope Becky or Gerald don’t walk on both stages when they’re there. It would ruin everything. Maybe you could pick the one you like, and the telethon people can rope it off and put up a sign that says, “No Becky or Gerald on this stage. April Patterson only.”

    Also, did you like my “s” sound, when I said, “participate”? I have a new speech therapist named Christine, and she thinks it’s great I pronounce my “s” with a long hissing sound, so people know I have really said “s”. The best part is when I go “sss”, I can do it without stopping. I never hissed my “s” before, but I think it sounds really cube. The kids at school call me “snake girl” now and I like it a lot better than “retard”. It’s like being a superhero with snake powers.

    I know you will be great at the telethon.

    Shannon Lake

  • At 1:40 PM, Anonymous Luis Guzmán said…


    Chica. You are not “grudge girl”. You are loca. What do you mean by this note you left you want the band to perform at a telethon, except Gerald won’t be on the same stage as us? You are one chica confusa.

    Luis Guzmán

  • At 2:10 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. While mom was , she learned that the girls who play for Mimi Thorp are shaving their heads to promote breast cancer awareness and that Dr. Jeff Cory is raising funds for the children in Vietnam.. She doesn’t want us Pattersons to be left out, so she wants you to know that if you agree to play for the Special Needs Kids telethon, she is strongly considering making a donation. Mom doesn’t want Mary Worth or Mimi Thorp to show her up. Do you think the Special Needs kids would be interested in a pair of mom’s old shoes?

    Michael Patterson

  • At 2:21 PM, Blogger howard said…


    I think I need to correct a rumour you have obviously heard. Gerald thought it would be fun to tell people he had given Becky infectious mononucleosis from all the kissing they have been doing. It’s not true and I had to take Becky to the doctor to prove it, so she could still take her exams on schedule. I could just kill Gerald for spreading that rumour.

    Even if it were true, you can’t pass the virus on by performing on the same stage where someone with infectious mononucleosis has performed. The virus is typically transmitted from asymptomatic individuals through blood or saliva, or by sharing a drink, or sharing eating utensils, but not sharing a stage. I suppose you could get it from sharing a stage, if you…Oh, I am not even going to go there. Point is, they don’t have it. You should be safe.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 2:43 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, have u noticed the special needs peeps walkin’ ‘round the skool in silhouette & there’s more than 1 of them & they move @exactly the same speed? i don’t wanna get called prejudiced or nethin’ like that, but i am tryin’ rilly hard not 2b creeped out wen ic it.

    that biz ‘bout not wuntin’ 2b on the same stage az becky & gerald. i know thass not a grudge thing. aftah duncan stole eva frum me, i didn’t wanna b on the same stage w/them either & hafta see them 2gethah. it duzn’t rilly mattah how many stages there r @a place. i wudn’t wanna c 4evah&eva perform & watch that flirty stuff eva duz w/duncan wen she sings.

    i think shannon got a confuzed ‘bout that, cuz she prolly took the word “stage” literally, eh? she thot u meant the actual stage & not the whole telethon thing.

    i dunno if u sed “yes” 2 shannon or not, but if u did, i know it’ll b tuff 4u2 hafta c becky & gerald. wen the telethon is on, i’ll b thinkin’ of u, evn tho i will not b watchin’ u.

  • At 6:12 PM, Anonymous Marlys Mullens said…

    Hello, all, I manage the Special-Events and Telethons Office of the Milborough Mall. Shannon Lake asked me to check in and respond to a query here from Michael Patterson.

    Mr. Patterson, only cash donations will be accepted for our "Telethon for Us." No Footwear. Thank you for the thought.

    Marlys Mullens
    Special Events and Telethons Office
    Milborough Mall

  • At 12:05 AM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Oh, man, Apes, Im so rilly rilly close 2 b-ing free, skools ovah in 2 weeks & then u move 2 the choo-choo house & then I go 2 Barbardos 4 the summer & then evry1 4gets abt me 4evah.

    Pls, pls, pls do not make me do the March of Loonies Telethon w/ u. Evah is busy making costumes outta curtains 4 the special needs kids. She says u & I r going 2 b Captain & Maria von Trapp, whoevah they r. She wants 2 b Liesl. She says Ger is going 2 b Rolf. WTF???
    I had a bad feeling as soon as I herd the word "magic," that means Arne & thats nevah good.



  • At 12:07 AM, Blogger duncan anderson said…


    I did not steel Evah from u. U can have her netime u want her. Im gone 4evah in 2 fricking weeks.



  • At 12:23 AM, Blogger duncan anderson said…




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