I know you have been waiting with baited breath for my next story about Shawna-Marie's wedding, and by the way, about that, you should really not have breath that smells like bait, it's a turn-off.
We were all standing at the altar at Shawna-Marie's wedding, watching her get married to whatever his name is, but instead of watching it, I was thinking about how Shawna-Marie, Dawn, and I used to talk about which one of us would get married first, well, back in the old days, Shawna-Marie and Dawn always said it would be me, because marriage is so important to Pattersons and Dawn believes in very long engagements and nobody believed that Shawna-Marie would find a man who could love a hick with a faux-Quebecois name who looks very masculine, especially when wearing a dress.
But there we were, Shawna-Marie got married on Saturday and Dawn is getting married next year and I'll be a bridesmaid in that and guess what, I don't even have a boyfriend, so fate totally turned things around from what we thought, and as I realized that, I started to get kind of misty, and I thought about how great it is we have known each other since grade school, where I was always considered way prettier than those other two, and way more likely to get a man, and how nice it is that we still share our personal moments, such as weddings, unlike other people who have been best friends since grade school but who are just not as close as me and Dawn and Shawna-Marie, and do not invite their friends to weddings.
It was just then that I started thinking about how weddings are full of very special personal moments, and I mean that in the sense of those commercials on TV for feminine products, I mean, we laughed over Shawna-Marie's underwear and I loaned Dawn a tampon at the bridesmaid's lunch, and we all heard Mrs. Verano's lecture on proper douching technique so as to be "fresh" for the wedding night, and just then, as I was thinking about douche, the most amazing coincidence happened, I spied Anthony from across the room, at least I think it was him, he didn't have a moustache, which struck me as a strange choice, but I will explain more tomorrow.
Liz
I know you have been waiting with baited breath for my next story about Shawna-Marie's wedding, and by the way, about that, you should really not have breath that smells like bait, it's a turn-off.
We were all standing at the altar at Shawna-Marie's wedding, watching her get married to whatever his name is, but instead of watching it, I was thinking about how Shawna-Marie, Dawn, and I used to talk about which one of us would get married first, well, back in the old days, Shawna-Marie and Dawn always said it would be me, because marriage is so important to Pattersons and Dawn believes in very long engagements and nobody believed that Shawna-Marie would find a man who could love a hick with a faux-Quebecois name who looks very masculine, especially when wearing a dress.
But there we were, Shawna-Marie got married on Saturday and Dawn is getting married next year and I'll be a bridesmaid in that and guess what, I don't even have a boyfriend, so fate totally turned things around from what we thought, and as I realized that, I started to get kind of misty, and I thought about how great it is we have known each other since grade school, where I was always considered way prettier than those other two, and way more likely to get a man, and how nice it is that we still share our personal moments, such as weddings, unlike other people who have been best friends since grade school but who are just not as close as me and Dawn and Shawna-Marie, and do not invite their friends to weddings.
It was just then that I started thinking about how weddings are full of very special personal moments, and I mean that in the sense of those commercials on TV for feminine products, I mean, we laughed over Shawna-Marie's underwear and I loaned Dawn a tampon at the bridesmaid's lunch, and we all heard Mrs. Verano's lecture on proper douching technique so as to be "fresh" for the wedding night, and just then, as I was thinking about douche, the most amazing coincidence happened, I spied Anthony from across the room, at least I think it was him, he didn't have a moustache, which struck me as a strange choice, but I will explain more tomorrow.
Liz