April's Real Blog

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Famous But Lonely

After the telethon, U'll remember Dad drove 2 the telethon 2 pick up Eva and me. When we dropped off Eva @ her house, she was all, "Thanx 4 the ride, Dr. P! Have a good trip out west, April!" And I went, "Bye, Eva!" Then, as we were driving home, and Dad was looking scary w/his disheveled hair and 4 AM shadow, I decided 2 distract myself from how disturbing he looked by talking 2 him abt my convo w/Becky. I was like, "Becky came and talked 2 me @ the telethon, Dad. We went 2 the food court 4 coffee. She talked abt her band. She talked abt her father. As her manager, he's arrogant and controlling. He won't speak 2 her mom... and he's jealous when she does. She misses her mom. She's on the road so much she has 2 take 3 grade 11* courses over again. She's sed she was lonely. But she's FAMOUS! She must have a MILLION friends. How can sumbody famous B lonely?" And Dad replied, "...She's talking abt the PERSON inside the performer." And I glanced over @ Dad, feeling kinda bad 4 him. He was so tired, he really thot he'd made a pun there. Then Dad sed I really need 2 watch E True Hollywood Story more often, so I can see fame does not necessarily = happiness.

*U may B wondering how it is Becky is retaking 3 grade-11 courses when we just finished grade 10. Well, when I tried 2 ask her Y she'd sed "grade 11," she started 2 answer, but then a buncha kids with bad, gappy teeth showed up asking 4 autographs, and we got sidetracked.


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  • At 1:28 PM, Anonymous Shannon Lake said…


    You are talking about the telethon, but you are not talking about me or the special needs kids. Why are you talking about Becky? I know you are the nicest girl in the world, but the lives of kids who are special needs are a lot worse than Becky’s. Is it because she offered you coffee? I can’t have coffee because it does funny things to me. I hope you don’t decide you like Becky again because of coffee.

    Shannon Lake

  • At 1:35 PM, Blogger howard said…


    I see Becky hasn’t written you to explain some of the odder parts of the conversation you had with her at the telethon between sets. This is probably because she has been playing the Gems videogame nonstop since it arrived here. The Newlyfoobs people have given up the day for holiday and asked me to call them to let them know when she finishes.

    In the meantime, I think it is up to me to make the explanation for Becky.

    About her mom, Becky does miss Krystle, particularly since Becky has been living with me. Of course her mom visited yesterday and complained about some of Becky’s wedding choices and the way the house was decorated (not enough velvet paintings). A lot of that “missing mom” stuff went away pretty quickly.

    As for the Grade 11 stuff, this is because Becky is trying to graduate from high school early so she can get the strain of required education off her and concentrate solely on her music career. However, it was too much for her to do her Grade 10 classes and the Grade 11 stuff too. She did fine with Grade 10, but she has to redo the Grade 11 stuff. I just chalk it up to a good idea she didn’t have enough time for.

    About her dad, Becky and Thorvald do fight. Thorvald is convinced that after doing the Hearts Together telethon in the Eastgate Mall, Becky should play a gig doing fundraising for the Old Vikings Club. Becky flat out refused to do that because, as you may or may not know, the Old Vikings Club is out on a large ice floe in Lake Ontario.

    As for being lonely, that’s really about her relationship with you, if Becky didn’t spell that out clearly. I think it’s obvious because she just spent a lot of time with Gerald getting ready for the telethon, and she really doesn’t want to spend a lot of time with Eva Abuya or Shannon Lake. You guys don’t hang out nearly as often as you used to and Becky misses it, because you are Becky’s oldest friend. You spend a lot of time with Eva Abuya now, who is barely civil around Becky. It seems to me that Eva has issues with anyone who has any degree of wealth or popularity, as you are probably aware by now. I was really glad you went off to have coffee with Becky and didn’t bring Eva along.

    I think that covers it. If you remember any other things which Becky did not have time to explain, be sure to mention them tomorrow.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 1:41 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, have u evah noticed how eva’s house kinda looks like an apartment complex? it’s really odd. & there seem 2b a lotta nigerian peeps hangin’ ‘round her house 2 & i dunno if they r all her relatives or not.

    neway, i hadda odd convo w/ur dad this mornin’. i wuz walkin’ by ur house & he wuz still cleanin’ up the mess frum all the peeps he had ovah 2 his house 2 watch him play w/trains on sunday. i think the last drunk who passed out frum the free beer just woke up 2day. i sed 2 ur dad, “dr. p. duz it make u feel lonely 2 hafta go 2 all that trubble just 2 get sum1 2 play trains w/u?”

    he sed 2 me, “no, jeremy. cuz i am not famous. i have this train set out in the middle of my yard w/o ne protection frum the weather or frum vandals. if i had a nicer set & it wuz protected properly, then it wud make me famous & then it wud ruin everythin’. playin’ w/trainz hazta b fun. thass y model trainz were invented. the v.v. best tymez w/model trainz that i can remember were wen friends, alcoholics & peeps gordon mayes bribed got 2gethah, gathered ‘round the train set, & sum1 started the train, & sum1 stopped the train & every1 watched the train go ‘round the track. these r absolutely the best times! that's when playing w/a model train is 4 the pure luv of it. it duzn't matter if u have a gr8 train set or not. what matters iz the fun. unfortunately model trains have been turned n2 a huge industry, & we now have such a lotta hype. it's unfortun8 that sum peeps choose 2 start off w/the most xxpensive train set in order 2 become famous & they will b missing the most important part of playin’ w/trains: friendship.”

    i sed, “so ur sayin’ if sum1 has a v.v. nice train set & lotsa peeps come 2c the train set, like mebbe a million peeps so he’s famous, that person is lonely?” ur dad sed, “mebbe it will seem like that peep has lotsa friends, but the PERSON inside the peep will be lonely.” i sed, “wudya mean, PERSON inside the peep? ru talkin’ ‘bout their inner personalilty, like their ego or id or sumthin’?” ur dad sed, “no, jeremy. i mean the little PERSON inside them that makes them famous. u know, the little PERSON who tells u that it’s a blessing 2b good or driven 2 succeed in something that u luv. i hadda little PERSON like that in me, who sed i shud go n2 orthodontics, but my wife caught him & beat him down w/a frying pan & i am much happier.”

    aftah i talked 2 ur dad, i wuz thinkin’ u might wanna avoid havin’ 2 many convos w/ur dad.

  • At 1:58 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Do not be taken in by that slattern Becky McGuire, trying once again to make you pity her in her success. She complained her father is arrogant and controlling, when everyone knows that’s the way fathers are supposed to be, when they are not married to the mother to settle them down.

    She complains her father and mother don’t speak to each other, when everyone knows that when a couple has been around each other for a long time, they don’t have to talk to each other. Haven’t you seen mom growl at dad or pick up a bag of frozen vegetables with her throwin arm enough times to realize she doesn’t have to speak to him to communicate? Even my lovely wife Deanna often says to me, “Mike, I don’t even know why I bother talking to you sometimes.”

    There’s nothing different about Becky McGuire’s parents than any other parents who have gotten divorced. Becky is trying to make you feel sorry for her own failings. Failed classes and the inability to make friends are problems most slatterns have, and Becky is no exception. What she is really trying to do is get a friend back she lost with her slutty behaviour.

    Don’t do it, April! Don’t be pulled back in by Becky. Stay with the special needs kids and the ethnic kids. They are far better choices for friendship.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 2:23 PM, Anonymous Honoria Delaney-Forsythe said…


    Dearest future sister. My Jeremy flower got confused when your Pater talked about the PERSON inside the performer. When I have conversations with my Pater, the psychologist, about my friends; we often talk about the ego, the id and the superego and which is being appropriately nourished by the friendship and they sometimes seem like little persons to me. That’s probably what your dad was talking about.

    When I have conversations with Mater, they are different. It usually involves my fatness and other people with trust funds. Mater would tell you that being famous and lonely is not too bad, as long as you also have a sizable trust fund, and can fit into a size 0 dress.

    I don’t know if Becky McGuire is rich or not. Of course the fact she just finished playing a telethon televised from a shopping mall using my brother for her drummer, pretty much gives it away.

    If you would like, I can get the pamphlet from the Johnston Institute for Better Living my Pater has in his office called, “So You Want to Make a Friend” and you can give it to Becky McGuire. There are all kinds of guidelines that I know you are already aware of, just judging from your choice of friends. Maybe Becky would do better making friends, if she saw it all written down for her.

    Honoria Delaney-Forsythe

  • At 4:35 PM, Blogger howard said…


    You know I had the feeling earlier today that Becky had told you at the telethon she had to take 3 Grade 11 courses again, and suddenly have this feeling it is now actually 3 Grade 10 courses. Here is the strangest part. When I open my paper, I feel it is 3 Grade 11 courses; but when I am working on the computer, it is 3 Grade 10 courses. How odd.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 6:59 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    shannon, am i only allowed 2 talk abt the special-needs kids if i talk abt the telethon? cuz no1 told me that was a rule. becky and i cd b-come close again, but if we do, it won't b cuz of coffee. it'll b cuz we realize we still have common ground and so on.

    thanx, howard. when u r famous like becky, it must get pretty old 2 have so many interruptions when u r trying 2 have a convo. i know eva won't like this, but i miss becky, 2.

    jeremy, sum ppl get confused when they look @ eva's house from a certain angle, cuz they think it looks like two apt bldgs next 2 ea other, when really those r 2 wings, and u go betw them 2 get 2 their big, grand entrance. as 4 the ppl in there, they've got lotsa rellies from nigeria who help w/mr. abuya's many bizness ventures. dunc knows more abt them than i do.

    oh, and yeah, i try 2 avoid asking my dad stuff. it usually ends badly.

    mike, shut up. becky is NOT slutty.

    howard, it gets even weirder than that. when i'm reading, say, the houston chronicle online, i have the feeling becky has 2 re-take grade-11 classes, but when i look @ my mom's website, i find i'm thinking they're grade-10 classes.


  • At 7:14 PM, Anonymous Eva Abuya said…

    Shannon, why aren't you writing about what a nice time we had drinking pop and talking about being friends with April? Well, nice until you said, "Step off ... it's my ... job to com...fort April ... when she's up..set, espe...cially if ... she's upset about ... Becky!"


    P.S. Don't forget all those times Becky was "too good" to hang out with us, April!

  • At 7:21 PM, Anonymous grimm said…


    I know some people blame you for killing your dog, Farley. I thought I would let you know, it is actually the fault of Farley’s Fairy Dogmother.


  • At 7:34 PM, Anonymous shannon lake said…


    The telethon was for special needs kids. I am not going to tell the nicest girl in Milborough what to write about, but I think someone who is the nicest girl in Milborough might want to talk about special needs kids instead of famous pop singers. Everyone talks about famous pop singers, but not everyone talks about special needs kids.

    I am glad you talked about Becky with your dad instead of Eva. Eva said she was going to get to comfort you after you talked to Becky, instead of me. She made a face at me when you left with her to go home. But she didn’t get to comfort you either. I am glad.

    I don’t think your dad was going to comfort you as well as I do, but at least it wasn’t Eva. Tell your dad the joke is “person in persona” not “person in performer.”

    Shannon Lake

  • At 8:01 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. “Shut up” is so unbecoming to a Patterson, particularly to your brother who is just trying to give you a little friendly warning.

    Remember, if you will, the situation with our sister and her friend Candace Halloran. Candace was known to be slutty and during high school, our sister wisely kept her distance from her, preferring to spend time with Anthony Caine and her two ethnic girlfriends. Then when she went off to university, she made the mistake of being taken in by Candace’s sad story of her mother’s boyfriend trying to molest her. Candace even convinced mom to take her in. Mom is an easy mark for such people. Remember Kortney Krelbutz, eh? You should try not to be as gullible as mom and Elizabeth.

    The result is that our sister has to walk a fine line between her good friends and Candace. I am sure you noticed when our sister attended that wedding recently; she met with Candace before the wedding took place, so she wouldn’t have to socialize with her at the wedding in front of her good friends and ruin her chances with Anthony. You don’t want to have to end up in that same situation with that slattern Becky McGuire. Can’t you tell from what your friends are writing how you upset them, by deserting them to have coffee with Becky?

    Michael Patterson

  • At 8:06 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i’ve been 2 eva’s house b4, u know. 4 sum reasn, i didn’t realize how much it looked like apts till now. also, do u have ne idea y the doors of mosta the roomz have numbers on them?

  • At 8:20 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    ::sob:: thanx 4 letting me know, grimm!

    shannon, faith asked me not 2 write nething more abt the special needs kids cuz she d-cided she wanted 2 start her own blog an' b the official voice or r.p. boire's sn kids. she sez it's cuz she's the most articulate member of yr group. did she 4 get 2 tell u all that?

    mike, liz sez that candace is her v. closest, best friend.

    jeremy, the only # i've ever noticed on ne rooms in eva's house is the one on the door of their 419 wing.


  • At 8:22 PM, Anonymous Eva Abuya said…

    Jeremy, you're just confused because I used to take you to the apartment building my parents let me manage. Every girl needs a hobby.


  • At 10:15 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey Apes,

    If Beckers failed 3 Gr 11 credits, mayb she got 5 Gr 11 credits & 8 Gr 10 credits in 2 semesters which is rilly cube. If I come back 2 Mboro Im going 2 quit skool till Im famous then I can finish Grs 11 & 12 in 1 semester, mayb 2 if Im touring alot.

    Im up 2 Level 1339. W00t 4 Gems!

    High Skool Dropout


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