April's Real Blog

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Fame = Dry Cleaning?

More abt my convo w/Dad when he was driving me home after the telethon. I tried 2 take my mind off the fact that Dad's 'vASSe was hovering even higher than usual by talking sum more abt Becky. I sed, "Becky was actually nice 2 me 4 a change." Dad sed, "MayB she liked yr singing!" Hmph, like that wd B the only reason 4 her 2 B nice. I sed, "Who knows. NEway.... She sed how lucky I was NOT 2 B famous, 2 have a regular home and parents who were still married 2 each other. She sed if she cd trade lives w/me, she wd!" Dad was all, "So, ... wd U trade lives w/HER?" I sed, "No way!" Then I sensed that Dad was fishing 4 compliments, and I didn't feel like being all complimenty @ that moment, so I thot of the 1st dumb thing my tired brain cd think of:" "4 one thing, she has 2 wear these wild, amazing costumes nite after nite after nite!" And when Dad asked me what was wrong with that, I was all, "...They're not washable." I was hoping that wd confuse him (which isn't that hard I guess) and it seemed 2 have worked cuz he had a stubbly, gobsmacked face.

Sum of U may B wondering Y Becky and I wd even hafta have such a convo, since we pretty much had this convo back in Sept. But Becky and I seem 2 B stuck on a loop. I hope we get 2 move 4ward this time, but I dunno.

Dunc, it turns out Becky made a typo mispoke when she sed "grade 11." She really meant 2 say "3 grade 10 classes." U R totally rockin' the Gems! I've gotten up 2 level 900, but then Mom or Dad comes along and wrests the controls away from me and turns off the TV!!!


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  • At 9:36 AM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey Apes,

    WTF did Evah give u 2 drink? Mayb she accidentally grabbed the stuff the Abuyas xport back 2 Nigeria. Ur lucky u didnt go blind like those d00ds who r suing the Abuyas. Evah says her 'rents dont care abt the lawsuit their insurance will pay 4 it.

    Im @ Level 1 of Gems. Andy reset the memory card. I dunno how u put up w/ 2 bratty nieces & nefews, 1 is bad enuf.

    Got 2 go. Im going 2 the licensing authority 2 take my road test. If I pass, Ill have a ril drivers licence, not a st00pid G1. If I come back 2 Mboro, I can switch it for a G Ontario licence. Cube, eh?



    p.s. I still want 2 quit skool, its useless.

  • At 10:28 AM, Anonymous shannon lake said…


    I just read your monthly letter. You didn’t mention my speech at all. You mentioned the telethon, but you didn’t mention it was for special needs kids and you didn’t say how I got you to agree to do the telethon with my speech. Don’t you like me anymore?

    I would trade my life with yours like Becky McGuire. You’re lucky not to be special needs and to have a regular life and regular home without special needs equipment in it. I would trade. You can talk about me with your dad. I wear clothes that you can wash, too. I hope you don’t hate me now.

    Shannon Lake

  • At 10:36 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, 1st of all, thanx az usual 4 not puttin’ me in ur monthly letter. 2nd of all, if u believe 4 a minute that rebeccah wud wanna have ur ‘rents ovah her ‘rents, ur delusional. 3rd of all, i can’t tell frum ur letter if ur livin’ in ur basement or the 2nd bedroom in ur new house. u say the room is small, but then u talk about how u can rock out, cuz the basement has better sound protection 2 the rest of the house. 4th of all, ‘bout ur missin’ ridin’ boots. this is gonna sound strange, but i think i saw ur mom wearin’ them. mebbe she needed a replacement set since she gave her last set away.

  • At 10:52 AM, Anonymous Honoria Delaney-Forsythe said…


    Dearest future sister. My Jeremy flower said I should thank you for not mentioning me in your monthly letter, which I think is a little silly since you have never mentioned me in your monthly letter. To make my Jeremy flower happy, I will say thank you.

    As you mentioned, Gerald has buried himself in Warcraft and good wine, since he returned from his Chihuahua state and things have not gone well for him lately. For once, I sympathize with my brother. He is not getting to tour with Rebecca McGuire, as he had hoped. He was a little distressed when you wrote in your letter it was OK you’ve been too busy to hang out with him. After your fight with Gerald during the month of June and how you wrote in your Blog that you were thinking of breaking up with him, if he went on that tour with Rebecca, he is very nervous about the state of your relationship. Since I plan to be your future sister, so am I. Is it possible to ask if there is anything I get Gerald to work on in your absence to the farm, which will not result in turning me into a Chihuahua?

    As for your Blog today, I was a little surprised that you failed to mention what must have been the main reason Rebeccah McGuire would want to trade lives with you, and that is having a boyfriend with a trust fund, and a wealthy father. I can’t honestly imagine life without either. If I were to trade lives with someone, it would be so I could have Bronson van Daam, my old boyfriend back. He had a truly magnificent trust fund. Otherwise, I am completely satisfied with my wealthy father and Jeremy’s trust fund.

    Honoria Delaney-Forsythe

  • At 11:10 AM, Blogger howard said…


    FYI. Becky is up to 1457 in the Gems video game. I asked her about your conversation with her and how she said would trade lives with you, if she could. She kind of didn’t answer me, because of her Gems obsession. At least, I hope that is the reason, and she’s not getting cold feet about our wedding. Since she got Gems, it is impossible to get her to do anything wedding-related.

    Your talk with your dad about Becky’s costumes did bother me. Honestly, April. The way you were sweating at that telethon after you and Eva sang one song, I don’t think you have any room to complain about Becky smelling bad after she did a whole set of songs in the same environment. Just to let you know, Becky’s costumes are washable, if you are very careful with them and wash them by hand. Becky doesn’t wash them, of course. That’s my job. Maybe she thinks the costume-washing fairy does them, when she slings them off her body and they magically end up in her costume closet cleaned and hung up. When you think about it, I guess that is what happens.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 3:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sgt. Royalson here.
    According to your elder "brother's" monthly letter, you are now into "neutering males." I am somewhat alarmed.

  • At 4:11 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dunc, aw, d00d, that suxx abt being reset 2 level one. it wd b v. v. cube 4 u 2 have yr full g licence!

    i swear i didn't drink ne beer. i sed dumb stuff cuz i was hella tired.

    shannon, chill, i just thot every1 already knew the deets b-hind the telethon.

    jeremy, omg, i hope my mom's not stretching out my riding boots w/her big banana feet! and i mite hafta start mentioning u in my monthly letters just 2 get u 2 stop thanking me 4 not mentioning u.

    honoria, i'm confused. y do u think u wd b turned in2 a chihuahua?

    howard, u misunderstood. i wasn't trying 2 imply that becky was stinky, i was just trying 2 mess w/my dad. he'd b horrified by the idea of a buncha dry-clean-only costumes, cuz he's cheap.

    sgt. royalson, u hafta understand, my bro mike is an idiot. i haven't even left 4 the farm yet, and he's saying i wrote him a letter abt neutering animals?!?!?!



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