Open-minded Dee?

Mike and Dee have been preparing 4 a Halloween party. Here's what Mike has 2 say on this:

April,

Formerly little sis. There are some people who believe that the women of Milborough do nothing all day but try to find new ways to emasculate their men. After my lovely Deanna told me we were going to a Hallowe’en costume party where “All the women have to dress like men, and all the men have to dress like women,” I think they may be right.

My first thought in acceding to the party’s unusual dressing plan was to call mom. After all she is the biggest woman I know and she just gets bigger every time I see her. Deanna said she wasn’t that big, but I called mom to be sure. I said, “Mom? I was wondering….would you have a dress I could wear for Hallowe’en”? Mom responded with a long speech about how if I were to do this, then I would need to make sure I didn’t use real coconuts. My lovely Deanna interpreted her response, which she couldn’t hear, as a comment my mom wasn’t that big. I know for a fact, I can fit into mom’s dresses without any trouble. I wonder how big Deanna thinks I am.

Well, the next day, Deanna decided we needed to go shopping at the Almost New to find a dress for me. While we were driving I was contemplating writing a horror novel next where all the women have to dress like men, and all the men have to dress like women. It seems like a truly horrifying place and perhaps my second novel hero, Leonard Driscoll could find his way to such a terrible land. Deanna thought it was a great idea, but I wasn’t certain. Perhaps it would be easier to have the entire crew of Leonard’s ship, participate in a plain ol’ costume party.

We got to the Almost New, and Deanna took her arm in mine and said, “We should find something in here.” The sign on the outside said, “Childrens’, Ladies’, Mens’ Wear. Appliances, Furniture, Drapery, Toys and more. The Bargains start here.” Why the sign writer felt the need to put in all those apostrophes on a sign, no one can really see, I do not know. My majour objective was to get in, get a dress, and get out before Deanna started wandering over to the furniture section.

Once inside Almost New, my lovely Deanna turned into Deanna: Super Fashion Critic. I found a nice purple dress used as a bridesmaid dress in Shawna-Marie Verano’s wedding. It was a good dress, but Deanna said, “Ummm…Not colo(u)rful enough.”

Then I found a dress which bore more than a little resemblance to a kimono, but was more colourful. My lovely Deanna looked at it and said, “Nope. Not enough room, for your ‘bust.’” In case I failed to mention this, Deanna wants me to go big-chested, since no one in my family is. I said, “Oh” and this attracted the attention of a nearby shopper.

Finally I found a very colourful dress, with room for a big chest, and I approached Deanna with a look of triumph on my face knowing she was going to leap up and down with appreciation at my fine selection. She said, “Good. Now we just have to find you some heels that fit!” Needless to say I was a little disappointed at this reaction.

But after we bought the high-heeled shoes, in a colour which Deanna said matched my dress perfectly, I was finally able to get Deanna’s approval by saying, “OK. OK. I will prance up and down like a stallion showing off his new horse shoes.” For some reason this got Deanna really excited and she started shrieking, “Honey, you look fantastic!!!” The noise attracted some old lady who stared at us the whole time from around the corner in the dressing room.

The cashier had possibly the smallest head I have seen on a living human. As I was paying for the dress my lovely Deanna said, the lady who had been skulking after us came up to her and said, “Wives like you, dear, must have to be so open-minded and understanding.” Deanna said she tried to turn her head away from the crazy woman, because she had always been told not to make eye contact. I think I told her that actually, after the time I went to visit Grandpa Jim back in February. She left us alone after that.

Oh, by the way, thanks for taking care of the kids, while Deanna and I went shopping.

Love,
Michael Patterson

LOL, that nosy woman @ the store was rite, only she didn't realize x-dressing isn't the issue! BTW, U shd prolly know that Robin kept wanting 2 try on Merrie's clothes. Merrie was all, "We don't get 2 go 2 that party!" And Robin was like, "What party?"

Apes