April's Real Blog

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

More Non-Memories From Liz About Baby Deathtrap-House

I feel as tho I will never B dun telling U abt these stories Liz cdn't possibly remember from her babyhood. Four more thot bubbles from Liz. First shows totally unattended baby Liz pulling on the cord of a lamp that's on a table. A glass next 2 the lamp is in the verge of toppling over. Next 2 Nizzie on the floor are a doll's severed head and a cookie w/one bite taken out. Liz goes, "GLAH?"

2nd thot bubble: Liz on the washroom floor, sitting on a mound of toilet tissue while pulling more from the roll in its dispenser, all while Liz goes, "Blff!" 3rd thot bubble, Liz tears a bunch of newspapers out of the rack they're in, a hanging plant is @ a 45-degree angle in the background (looking 1/2-dead NEway), as Liz goes, "Doo?" Then 4th thot bubble: Mom talking on the phone, all "I'd better go, Mom.... Elizabeth is being 2 quiet."

I was like, "Wow, Liz, so U R building a case abt Mom having been a neglectful parent?" Liz: "No! I'm talking about my personality, remember?" I sed, "Seems like U were just a baby being a baby." Liz sed, "I have my instructions, can't U just play along?" I sed, "Can't I just leave?" Liz was like, "We're not dun yet."

Peeps, I'm using a slitely wonky lappy 2 write this, cuz my reg. 'puter died after I wrote yesterday's entry. I think the 'puters R dying from boredom.


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  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    It's a miracle you and your sibs survived as long as you did, Liz's denial notwithstanding. People like your mom make Anthony and his basement gulag look responsible.

  • At 11:27 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dc2, i have a theory that when mom was a toddler and unk phil was a baby, grandma marian wd open the front door an' say, "go out and play!" then she'd shut the door an' watch her stories and talk on the fone. then, i m thinking mom was supposta keep her baby brother from playing in traffic or getting eaten by loose dogs. i think this is what influenced mom's parenting style. and U r rite, it's a wonder that we made it out of our baby/little kidhood alive.


  • At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sgt. Royalson here.
    I haven't had much to comment on lately, but I am compelled to question your use of the term "thought bubbles" with respect to your sister Elizabeth. Capisce?

  • At 5:05 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    sgt. royalson, do u mean cuz liz is not known 4 her thinking?


  • At 4:07 AM, Anonymous liz patterson said…

    Yay! This week is all about me!!! I hope when Anthony hears about these stories that he will realize I was a super cute baby and then he will realize I can make him some super cute babies and that he doesn't need any cute but potentially problematic French babies anymore, and we will get married and live happily ever after, with super cute babies who fall down the stairs and wear frilly dresses.



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