April's Real Blog

Saturday, November 10, 2007

More Early Jerkish Behaviour

OMG, I don't think I'm going 2 B able 2 wrap this up, foax. I'm afraid this current series of "young Michael" stories I'm sharing R going 2 go in2 a 3rd week. I M so, so sorry abt that!

U mite remember that in the last bit I told U abt, I was in the restaurant @ Gordo's place (I like 2 call it Gordo's Garage an' Grill). Liz, Anthony, Mike and I were in a booth having cinnabuns and coffee as Mike and Liz shared stories that were supposta show that Mike was smart, inquisitive, emotional and theatrical, and maybe also that even tho Mike an' Liz R closer in age than I M w/either of them, sumtymez they were "far apart." Only the stories were really NOT showing NE of that. Oh, w8. Painfully literal Mike mite pt out that when Liz was in the house and he was in the park w/Lawrence, or in his kindergarten class, he was [literally] far away, but Liz was actually trying 2 B figurative. Try 2 follow along w/that, Mike.

So, NEway, the next thing that happed was that Mike wanted 2 share a story he thot was totally hilarious. Again, he sprung speech bubbles he sed we hadta watch. First speech bubble showed yung Mike crouching in front of the mail slot in the front door of the Pattermanse. He had it propped open so he could peer out, and his thot bubble had, "Seven .... six .... five .... four ... three ... twooo ... onnne... ....Aaanddd...." Then in Mike's next thot bubble, we cd C him unhinging his jaw, screwing his eyes shut, and screaming out the slot, "YAAAAAA," and then, last thot bubble showed the poor mailman on the other side, w/the rest of Mike's screech coming out of his gaping maw (which we cd actually c thru the slot): "AAAAAAAAAH." The letter carrier was stooped down 2 put in the mail, and Mike's screech seemed 2 hit him in the face like a big wind, causing his hat 2 fly off, his hair 2 blow back, and 3 letters 2 fly outta his hand.

Then Mike sat with a self-satisfied look on his face that clued us in on this being the last bit of this particular thot-bubble show. I sed, "So I guess the pt of this story is that Michael has ALWAYS been a jerk--or @ least since he was five." Liz started 2 nod absently, when Mike gave her another stern look and she stopped. Then Mike said, "Come, now, formerly little sister. Look at the gr8 imagination that story demonstr8ed. And come on, THAT was theatrical. Did U C how well I projected my voice? U know U hafta project yr voice in the theatre!" I sed, "U weren't in the theatre, Mike, U were in the mail slot." He sed every gr8 hasta start sumwhere.

Anthony, of course, fell all over himself 2 pt out how wonderful a story he thot that was. "Sheer genius, Michael! What an excellent prank! I hope Francie starts displaying so much imagination in her prankery. Just yesterday, she tricked dear ol' Dad by feeding me the wrong answers 4 the Milborough Gazette crossword, but that is so sedate compared 2 Michael's hijinx!"

I sed, "Yeah, whatever." Cuz, U know, lost causes. Jeremy, thanx so much 4 taking me 2 that Police concert. It was so much fun, even w/yr Mom along w/us acting all overgrown fangirlish. I totally understand parents being embarrassing!

2morrow, sumthing diff, but then Monday, prolly more of the same.


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  • At 9:13 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    Lovely fellow, that brother of yours. Too bad for his kids he won't tolerate his sort of behavior when he's the target. Worse still, that Elly didn't have it in her to back up the threats she made.

  • At 2:27 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, ur bro’s story iz whacked. playin’ tricks on the mailman. wen i wuz 5, that wuz waaaay down the list of thingz i wud’ve done. i mean not cuz i wuz a nice kid, but cuz it soundz rilly borin’ & whacked. there’s all the thingz u can do wen ur 5 & thass how ur bro spent his tyme. i am rilly glad ur not like him.

    i hadda gr8 tyme @the police w/u. i know ur supposed 2 do remembrance day stuff w/ur grandpa & thass cube. mebbe we can do sumthin’ aftah the remembrance day stuff iz ovah, eh?

  • At 3:25 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey Apes,

    How r u? The weather is very warm here.

    I just got back from the adult secure treatment facility. I have a 1X/week visit w/ my 'rents. My team says Im doing well. My 'rents say their team says they r doing well.

    Yr friend,
    Duncan Anderson

    p.s. Whats "folie à trois"?

  • At 4:40 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dc2, mike told me sum xxamples of times he did get punished, but 4 sum reason, these times haven't been the subject of stories our fam is sharing abt him.

    jeremy, definitely let's get 2gether after the remembrance-day stuff.

    duncan, wow, r u coming back? i checked wikipedia, which sez that "folie a trois" is also called shared psychotic disorder. y do u ask?!?!?


  • At 5:21 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    hey duncan, glad 2 hear the weather is very warm there. it’s frosty here. they had a remembrance day celebration & it wuz like sittin’ in a refrigerator. peeps were shivering. it wuz like livin’ in 1 of thoze countries which r in the opposite direction of south. u know the 1s. like the place where st. nick iz supposed 2 live, or that wiccan lady who lives near north bay. those kinda places.

    april’s french iz bettah than mine iz, so she’s prolly rite; but i thot “folie à trois” meant “folly at 3”, kinda like folies bergère hazta do w/dance halls back in france. so mebbe it’s sum kinda french dance show at 3 o’clock. do u have showz where u r?

  • At 5:23 PM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    Of course Liz isn't sharing those times with us. For some warped reason, she liked it better when he got away with things.


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