Lil Mike's "Vocabulary"

So, U mite remember I was in the restaurant @ Mayes Midtown Motors, sitting in a booth w/Liz across from me, Mike next 2 me, and Anthony next 2 Liz. Mike had shared his story abt the lemonade stand.

NEway, rite after Gordo walked away, Liz dug sum of her index cards out of her purse, checked thru them, put them back, and sed, "He also had quite a vocabulary." She sprang a thot bubble of Mom holding a dead-twig looking plant and leaning her ear by a window where these were being shouted from outside: "*"; "!"; "@"; "[Saturn]"; "*" As U know, that is a v. v. rude swear. Next thot bubble, Mom stuck her head @ the window, where a misshapen Mike was sitting on the ground w/a misshapen Lawrence, playing w/misshapen toys. Mom's speech bubble was all, "Michael! ..Don't U ever let me hear U using those words again!!!" I cut in and asked, "Liz, since Mike is rite here, Y can't U just let HIM tell this?" Liz sed, "Don't interrupt me, I'm following my instructions." And the next thot bubble had Mike and Lawrence picking up the toys as Mike speech bubbled, "C'mon, Lawrence, let's go over 2 the park..." Last speech bubble, they were walking, and they'd gone completely white, w/just a crude outline 2 them, as Mike sed, "She can't hear a thing from there..."

Anthony clapped his hands. "What a wonderful story! I'll have to remember that in case I ever hear Francie swearing like that. Then she could wander off to the park unattended and I wouldn't have 2 hear her swear! Elly Patterson is a GENIUS!"

I sed, "Anthony, never use my mom as a parenting model. She had lots and lots of bad--"

Mike interrupted me w/"Stuff and nonsense, formerly little sister! Mom is a parenting ICON in this town. People gather 'round 2 find out every detail of her parenting, and then they gather 2 compare how much they identify w/her. Once again, U R showing yr youth and inexperience. When U get 2 B my or Lizardbreath's age, U'll understand better!"

I started 2 say, "Mike, I'm not going 2 change my mind--" But this time Anthony interrupted. "Listen 2 yr big brother, April. His advice 2 me has been invaluable!" Anthony looked over @ Mike and winked.

Mike sed, "Speaking of which, Liz, U mite want 2 have one of those." He pointed @ the bowl of mints @ Liz & my end of the table. Liz was like, "What R U talking abt?" And Mike mimed blowing in2 his hand 2 smell his own breath. Then rolled his eyes in Anthony's direction and made a kissy face.

Anthony had only caught the kissy-face part, and he sed, "Michael, I like U, really I do, but I don't want to kiss NE1 other than Elizabeth!"

Mike was just like, "Don't worry, Anthony. In my position of eldest Patterson sibling and only male Patterson of my cohort, I am giving my dear sister a little bit of coaching. U will benefit from this if she complies." He gave Liz a hard stare. She stared back, frowned, and then had a mint. Mike whispered, "Good Lizard!"

Well, it's Friday. MAYBE I'll have this bit wrapped up 2morrow.

Apes