Mike whined abt being the 1st born

When Liz and I got back 2 the TTH after our adventure in reminiscing @ the laundromat, Mike was standing in front of the house, hands in his pockets. He came over 2 the car, and Liz rolled down her window.

Mike was all, "Sis and other Sis! Two Sisses! What have U 2 been doing?" Liz told him abt going 2 the 'mat cuz of Mom and Dad being out helping w/Gramps, and abt her reminiscing. She told him the topics she'd covered.

"Oh! I'm glad U R carrying on our glorious new Patterson tradition of reminiscing! Don't leave out the tale of my complaining 2 Mom that she didn't luv me as much as she luvved U, Liz! U were napping @ the time."

Liz sed, "Mike, isn't it bad enuf I'm expected 2 tell abt things I cdn't possibly remember now b-cuz I was 2 yung @ the time? I'm supposed 2 tell April sumthing I wasn't even present 4, from that time when I was 2 yung?"

"Pshaw! Those limits R only 4 non-Pattersons! Remember that U're a Patterson! April, I remember it like it was yesterday!" Then Mike put his hand 2 his chin, got a faraway look in his eyes, and sprung sum thot bubbles that actually had speech bubbles in them!

The first thot bubble showed Mom looking completely diff, as she did yrs and yrs ago, like sum1 w/kinda crude drawing skills and a slavish devotion 2 Sparky Schulz had drawn her [and Mike 2, 4 that matter], in profile, with one hand under little Michael's chin as the other did sumthing 2 his head, w/a severely misshapen hand and an unidentifiable object of sum sort. This Michael had a speech bubble that sed, "U don't luv me as much as U luv 'Lizabeth." Then the next thot bubble had the "Mom" and the "Michael" in similar positions, only Mom had her hands @ Mike's collar and appeared 2 B pinching the fabric of his jacket like she mite B considering choking him. His speech bubble had "She can do NEthing an' U let her! U get mad @ me all the time but U NEVER get mad @ 'Lizabeth!" Then the 3rd thot bubble that Mike sprang was Mom hugging Mike, with one hand on the back of his head and the other around the back of his neck on2 his shoulder. Mom had a speech bubble that went, "We do luv U, honey! Liz is a baby. --She's not old enuf 2 understand the difference between rite and wrong--and U R!" Last thot bubble had Mike facing forward, arms xxtended 2 either side, head thrown back, mouth hugely open as a big pit o' blackness, while he shouted, "Y DID I HAFTA GET BORN 1ST!"

Liz sed, "Mike, that is a horrible story and it just reminds me of how awful U R! April, get out of the car and go inside so I can go home." So I did, and I barely had enuf time 2 get my second foot out of the car B4 she went tear-assing out of the driveway w/a gr8 big "screech," nearly running over Connie Poirier, who was power walking.

Mike was all, "What a kidder she is! Naturally, I know she luvs and appreciates me. So, April, do U know if there's NE milk and sugar I can 'borrow'? Dee's been working overtime l8ly, so no time 2 shop, and U know I can't B expected 2 go 2 the store when I'm following my muse!" I sed that we mite have milk, and he followed me in2 the house. My fone rang, and it was Jeremy, so I left Mike 2 his own devices in the kitchen. This all happed abt a wk ago, BTW.

Apes