April's Real Blog

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Liz told me another baby story she cdn't possibly remember herself. I asked her Y she doesn't stick w/stuff she does remember, and she mumbled sumthing abt following her script.

In this particular event Liz cdn't possibly remember, Mike had Liz's bottle tied 2 a string and he held it up while saying, "Gotcher bottle, Lizzie... Hee, hee!" And Liz, who was sitting up but wobbly, reached 4 it while going, "Uh, uh, uh, UH!" And she fell down w/a bit WHUMP when he pulled it away (mayB channeling Lucy Van Pelt an' the football). Then, as Mom angrily let him away, he was all, "Honest, Mom! ...I was teachin' her how 2 crawl... MA!"

Liz gave me the stinkeye when I told her that this wdn't have happened if Mom hadn't gone and weaned her 2 formula as soon as she even thot abt sprouting her 1st tooth. And gave me an even stinkier eye when I sed, "I mean, imagine the trub Mike wda been in if he'd tried that string trick 2/one of Mom's breasts."

Well, guess we're in for more of this flashbackery tomorrow.

NEway, what a blast last nite @ Wicked Wednesday. Jeremy, thanx 4 talking Officer Luggsworth outta arresting me!


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  • At 8:03 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    None of the infighting Liz and Mike recall would have happened if your mother knew what she was doing. Since she assumed the worst, she got it. You know firsthand how she tried to scream her way into having a harmonious family AND how poorly that worked out. To think your Dad thought having a stay-at-home Mom was a good thing. Boy, is he out of it!

  • At 10:11 AM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. Another great story from my past, and an important lesson for me. First I learned that Lizzie had the ability to summon mom from wherever it was she was most of the day, not by crying, but by the use of a loud sound effect like, “Whump”. I don’t know why mom would hear that over crying, but she did. From then on, I always tried to teach Lizzie things over softer surfaces, but I was not always successful. Second, I learned that when a mother grabs you by the arm and pulls it up, it really hurts. I forget if this was one of the times mom dislocated my shoulder or not. I think because I was trying to reason with mom, instead of screaming in pain, it probably was not one of those shoulder-dislocation times. Third, I learned that the bottle-on-the-string trick did not work when Lizzie was in a sitting position. She needed to already be on her hands and knees before I started. I eventually got her to crawl, but never again from a sitting position.

    I had a great time with Elizabeth when she was little. It’s too bad I didn’t get to apply the same techniques to my children. When I suggested the bottle on a string to Deanna, she simply said to me, “Michael that’s Ardith Narayan’s job.” Sure enough, Ardith managed to do it. Now that Ardith doesn’t take care of our kids anymore, maybe if Deanna and I have another baby, that bottle and string might make a reappearance.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 10:17 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    At least Meredith and Robin won't require earplugs growing up. Trying to drown out your mom is probably why he cranked the volume on his music so loud and possibly why your dad thought that stereo was a good investment.

  • At 10:18 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, no prob w/officer luggsworth. how were u2 know that the act aftah u guys 4 wicked wednesday wuz zandra larson’s uncle arne doin’ his magick act? he looked like a bum carryin’ a lotta xxplosives 2 me 2. i prolly wud’ve jumped on him 2, if i hadn’t recognized him frum b4. once i told officer luggsworth it wuz arne (who kinda haz a history of destruction in mboro), luggsworth wuz more bizzy callin’ the bomb squad, than tryin' 2 arrest u. it wuz kinda weird way 2 get a 1st kiss frum u, but i know i will remembah it 4evah.

  • At 12:32 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    another thing liz told me abt, that may or may not make it in2 a blog entry, was abt how dad decided (around the same time period) to give mom a "weekend off" so she cd go visit her 'rents out in vancouver.

    one of the 1st things that happed after mom left was that liz was crying 4 a bottle and dad told mike sumthing like, "how am i supposed 2 know where the bottles r?" i just live here! it's a wonder mike and liz got thru that wkend alive.

    afterwards, when dad's asst jean was asking him abt the housework and dishes and stuff, dad sed he left all that 4 mom 2 handle when she got back.

    mom told dad that her mother (our grandma marian) had given her a gr8 new outlook on life. when dad asked how she'd dun that, mom sed, "she called me a spoiled brat." can u believe that? it seems 2 xxplain so much, wdn't u say?

    jeremy, that kiss was v. v. nice. i'd gotten so used 2 the way ger kisses (he kinda jams his tung in doesn't really know what 2 do w/it--sorry 4 the tmi). yrs was like how a kiss shd b! oh, and i'm glad we got outta there so quickly after my set, considering what arne did l8er on!


  • At 1:13 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    xapril, i dunno much ‘bout ur gramma marion, but that stuff ur sis sed ‘bout ur dad sounds rite. my mom always sed back in the day, there wuz daddy stuff & mommy stuff & diapers & bottles were definitely in the mommy stuff. so, ur dad duzn’t sound like he wuz way off frum a lotta dadz back then. i wud still put him ahead of my dad 4 just stickin’ ‘round nsteada runnin’ off & leavin’ ur mom 2 do it all, like my dad did.

    i wuz glad we got out b4 arne did his act. altho i gotta say, it wuz kinda pretty frum a distance. lotsa peeps in skool weren’t az lucky as we were. a lotta peeps in skool 2day were smellin’ like smoke & like they were in hospital all nite. & the students don’t look so good either. eva looked rilly weird w/black hair.

    i liked kissin’ u2. i don’t wanna go all tmi, but i shoulda known wen gerald wud tell all the guys like how u were az a kisser, he wuz rilly tryin’ 2 mpress that gap-toothed guy who sez “hoo!” all the tyme.

  • At 1:37 PM, Anonymous Hoo Boy said…


  • At 8:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I guess u & Jer want 2b frozen 2gether.

    I dont want 2b frozen.

    Sum anonymous d00d.

    p.s. Ill <3 <3 <3 4evah.

  • At 8:06 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. My wife, the lovely Deanna, would like you to know that we are well aware our son has his birthday today, and his party is set for Saturday at our house. So, please do not kidnap our children to take them to a birthday party of your own making as you did for my daughter’s birthday. Cerys (Ardith Naryan's youngest) will be there and we need to give my son plenty of time to re-establish himself as her childhood sweetheart, with the usual measures of affection customary for children who are 3. And in case you were wondering, it does mean that my son will probably be hit or swatted by his youthful lady love; just as my darling Deanna used to punch, hit and beat me during our earliest courtship days. Those were good times, when you knew what to expect from a girl.

    You are invited to the birthday party on Saturday. I will advise you to use caution when approaching the door, just in case you hear a young male voice saying, “Hi-ya Kowabunga Super-Teddy” to impress Cerys as you open that door.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 8:09 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i guess that anonymous d00d message xxplainz y sum1 wuz throwin’ ice @us aftah we left the library 2nite.

  • At 8:59 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i don't wanna b frozen, anon d00d. what gives?

    mike, well i'm glad robin's b-day won't b ignored, even on mom's website. unlike merrie, whose b-day got no mention @ all on mom's website.

    jeremy, that whole "ice" thing was pretty weird!



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