April's Real Blog

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Prepare 4 flashback

R yr tray tables stowed? Yr seats in an uprite position? U know how sum sitcoms have special music an' wavy colours B4 they go in2 a flashback sequence? Well, if this were a sitcom, this entry wd B ending w/the special music and wavy colours.

Bored as I was, I actually started 2 help Liz fold her laundry after she'd retrieved it from the dryers. As I did, she asked me, "U adjusting 2 the new house?" And I was like, "Yea.... But it's weird. When Mom an' Dad R out, it's like I'm alone in my own apt. I wish I'd grown up w/a sibling closer 2 my own age. I mean--U an' Michael were much closer 2gether." And Liz was all, "Yes, but... Sumtymez we were so far apart...." And then she had a thot balloon over her head showing Dad swooping up lil' Nizzie, who grabbed his nose, as lil Mike looked on (standing behind Dad) w/a distressy, jealous look on his face.

Ru-uh, Raggy! Here come the flashbacks!


P.S. Thanx 4 the luv note "Anonymous Dood"--v. sweet of U!

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  • At 7:25 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    You're about to hear how big a jackass Mike used to be when he was a kid. Or at least, that he used to be a different variety of jerk. Maybe hearing something about how he was a sullen, unapologetic little terror might make you rethink using the dignity-denying nickname he stuck your big sis with. At the very least, it would explain why she gave the harmonica away to someone who actually said soomething flattering for a change.

  • At 9:37 AM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Supervillain Amazon catfish shouldn't throw stones in glass aquariums, or wherever it is you live in Canada. My sister, Elizabeth, loves her brother (that's me) dearly, and I am sure she will tell a story bound to touch the hearts of everyone who reads it and make them think, "That's just the way I was with my brother. You must have had a camera at my house. Except I wish my brother was Michael Patterson." Just wait and see, catfish.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 10:02 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i think u might wanna tell peeps a little sumthin' 2 put thingz in perspective. most folks wud think gettin' ur sis 2 talk 'bout how thingz were w/her & ur bro wen they were little wud b like the dullest convo in the world. u needta remind them that there r convos which r worse, like hearin' ur sis talk 'bout our solid & dependable anthony caine iz. then they might think, "poor april, but @least she wuz smart enuff 2 get her sis off that othah subject, eh?"

    i hadda gr8 tyme w/u last nite @the poetry slam. u were gr8. i mean bettah than gr8. they sed u hadda spot on the slam, netime u wanted 2 come, & they didn't evn say it wuz cuz ur a patterson.

    remembah, u were suppozed 2 tell me if we're workin' that history essay 2gethah, or if ur band iz gonna rehearse 4 wicked wednesday, which iz 2morrow. i figger u gotta do sum rehearsin', so i'm not gonna b mad 1 way or the othah.

  • At 10:11 AM, Blogger howard said…


    I remember well my conflicts with my sister when I was young. She was a girl and had to deal with the fact her last name was "Bunt." I was a boy who had to deal with the fact my hair was a colour so red, clowns were envious of it. As young children, we bonded together against our oppressors, sort of a brother/sister wrestling tag team, except we mainly kicked and bit. Anyone who changed the first letter of our last name to insult my sister got a beating, and clowns were not safe around us. Needless to say, we didn't get invited to too many birthday parties. Ah, the memories of youth.

    I would like to hope your sister is going to tell you an interesting story about her childhood, but I somehow suspect it is going to be a story more like one a middle-aged woman, with very little story-telling experience and limited talented, would tell.

    Howard Bunt

  • At 10:29 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    lol, jeremy, u r rite abt keeping liz off the "ac" subj.

    i had an awesum time @ the slam last nite! every1 was so cube, and i also thot u did gr8. there's sumthing abt a guy up on stage, w/a kinda "bad boy" image, rockin' the spoken words like u did. v. v. cube!

    we can work on our history essay during our spare 2day. after school i do hafta rehearse w/the band. we're doing a rehearsal 2nite and then squeezing in one "last chance" run-thru 2morrow morning. then hoping 4 the best 2morrow, lol.

    howard, lotsa stories i hear abt and xxperience seem 2 come from xxactly the kinda middle-aged woman u describe. and it feels like it's gotten worse l8ly. i wonder y?

    dc2, yeah, mayB these flashback stories from liz will help xxplain y she is the way she is now.

    mike, have u been hangin' out @ lilliput's when mom has coffee there? those "u have a camera in my house" types like 2 chitchat w/mom there.


  • At 12:31 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Formerly little sis. In response to your question, I have been spending a lot of time at Lilliput’s lately signing books. Mom feels an obligation to help Moira Kinney sell some of the 10K copies of Stone Season she ordered for her, and the ladies who have coffee with mom are often there. I believe they are called the unofficial Michael Patterson fan club, and it is extraordinary how many of them have sons about my age. They are lovely folks, but mom constantly has to tell them her name is neither Ellie nor Eleanor. Every time I do a reading from Stone Season, one of them swoons, probably from putting too much sugar in her coffee. You wouldn’t believe how much they use.

    Michael Patterson

  • At 12:40 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, thanx 4 sayin’ i did good @the slam. my fingerz r still kinda sore frum all the snappin’ i did wen u did ur poem.

    i will cu during our spare. i am tryin’ 2 research mboro history 4 the history essay. so far i can’t tell if mboro started cuz there usedta b a borough ‘round a mill, or if mboro started cuz sum syndicate wunted a woman 2 make a town, cuz all they had were men b4 makin’ towns. i’ve never seen a mill in mboro, so i think mebbe the 2nd story is rite. have u evah seen a mill in mboro?

  • At 2:53 PM, Anonymous Teena K. said…

    This is weird. I thought Mike and Liz were really good friends when they were younger. Mike's always writing in the monthly letters about how he and Liz used to play together and make up games and stuff outside when they were kids. Is it true that they weren't really that close? Who is lying--Liz or Mike? I'm gonna say Mike, because my older sister is like him--she is soooo self-absorbed and never really acknowledges stuff other than herself! We don't along at all, so I think Liz probably doesn't get along with Mike either.

    PS--Sometimes I find myself revisiting past events, too. In fact, this week I've been thinking back to the Halloween two years ago, when I had big plans to make a cool costume, but then got lazy and went as a "a holy ghost." Except I'm not making a big deal about remembering the way you're family does; I'm just thinking about it.

  • At 7:06 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    jeremy and i found sum interesting things abt local history. one big clue was that i remembered abt when i'd found an old foto album where connie was moving back here from thunder bay, only there were captions saying "connie moves back to scarborough." not milborough! weird, eh?

    jeremy went an' asked the librarian if she had ne info on our town having been called scarborough. she got this v. shifty look on her face and then she went 2 a safe, punched a combo into a keypad, took out a big wooden box that she unlocked w/a key, and then she led jeremy and me in2 sum special-collection room. and she sed we cd only access the box and its contents 4, like, 20 mins @ a time. there was def. more than 20 mins of material in there, so jeremy and i r gonna hafta go back again when we have our spare 2morrow.

    sum weird stuff in that box. i'm not even sure where 2 start. jeremy?

    teena, well, mike has also talked abt being jellus of liz, so mayB they're in agreement on sum stuff.


  • At 7:59 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i dunno where 2 start. i guess i can say 4 sure, there were 4 sheets of paper havin' 2 do w/puns on how a mill wud leave a scar on scarborough, but a scar would not leave a mill in milborough. i am still tryin' 2 recover frum that little bit o knowledge. mebbe we can talk 'bout it aftah ur band practise.

  • At 8:02 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    we're wrapping up our practice now, jeremy. wanna meet @ horny t's in abt 20 mins?


  • At 9:09 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, u know a lotta 'bout mboro histry i didn't know, thass 4 sure. i don't know if horny t's wuz the best place 4 us 2 meet. there's all these peeps who keep comin' by & sayin' "where's gerald?" or "yru sittin' w/the villain & not the hero, april?" or "hoo!" i suppose it's wut i deserve frum last june & that thing w/shannon lake in the cafetorium. the weirdest part iz every time u shift in ur seat peeps start grabbin' chairs, like they r gonna help u stand on a table or sumthin'. it's freaky.

  • At 9:27 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    sorry abt that, jeremy. i didn't realize there were so many ger fans @ ht's. we've gotta pick our mtg place better next time.



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