Warren makes bad choices

Liz wrote in 2 share what happed next when Warren dropped by her apt unxxpectedly:

April,

It's just not fair, I don't think you understand, but maybe you do since you broke things off with Gerald and he keeps coming around anyway, and back in last April (not you, the month), I was following all of the rules that it says you should do in The (Patterson) Rules, well that is supposed to make the men know you are a real prize, but that Warren, he put his work in front of being with me, which is like the ultimate pleasure on earth, to be with a Patterson woman, and I gave the phone a good spitting to let him know that he had missed out on life with an emotionally mature woman with a healthy supply of saliva, because some men like that thing, I have been told, and I thought he had come over to my apartment to talk, but then he was grabbing me, so mom always says that coffee is better than sex, so I thought I could distract Warren with coffee, so I said, “Warren, let go!...I’ll make you a coffee!” and he said, “OK, OK…” like he knew coffee was better than sex, and I was upset because we never had sex before when we were dating so how did he know that my coffee would be better than sex with me, not that I would ever have sex with Warren, but I was so insulted and then he said a word which a good Patterson man never says unless threatened with a gun or a bazooka or something, he said, “Thanks” and so I thought it would be a good idea to remind him of the time, just in case he didn’t have a watch on and I said, “Look. It’s after 10.” ( and I thought about pointing to a clock when I said to look, but I had my hands full of coffee cups and I know all about that trick where someone asks you the time on your watch while you are holding coffee because that little creep, my favourite student, Jesse Mukwa used to do it to me all the time), so I said, “Why are you here? What’s the matter?” which are pretty direct questions for me, and I hate to say this, but sometimes when I am tired I forget that according to the handy little "Passive Language Purity Guide" that the Johnston Institute puts out, a Patterson woman should never ask direct questions, so then he told me, and he said, “I quit my job, Liz. I got so tired of being sent all over the place. I want to stop. I don’t have a HOME anywhere!! I can’t fly anymore. It’s one of the two things in life that I really love, and I have to give it up,” and as I thought about it, I seem to remember having heard this same speech before the last time a man grabbed me when I didn’t want him to and someone telling me they had no HOME, like I had a feeling of DJ view, (which is where DJ’s know what song is coming up before they even say it), and I looked at Warren and he did not really look that much like a DJ to me, and I thought it was a good thing Anthony wasn’t here or he would tell me I could give my apartment to Warren and then move in with him, so Warren could have a home and I could live in my other home with Anthony, but then I remember that Warren had counted to 2 things he really loved, and thought I knew the other one must be my coffee, so I said, “What’s the other thing?” and he didn’t say it was my coffee at all, he said, “You” and when he said that I had this sudden feeling that I looked like a combination of mom and Mike and not much like myself at all, and you know, April, I had this sudden memory of mom telling one of those secret mom things where she said to me, “Lizzie. You need to stop digging in your diaper, I am going to change you in a few minutes” and then she said, “Lizzie, if there’s one thing in your life you can never trust, it’s a man who is willing to give up things to be with you. A man who is willing to transfer his job for you or a man who is willing to give up his job to be close to you are the types of men who will marry you for more than 30 years and then you will find out that they have been cheating on you all along with some slut you have known for years. Those are not the types of men for you. You need to go with an emotionally-distant man, who will never make any kind of sacrifice for you and might leave you sitting in a high chair all night. Those are the men, men like your father, who make the best husbands and dads.” and while I was rememberizing that, I was also wondering how Warren would pay for apartment rent without his job, and that Warren is just a big poopyhead if he thinks I am going to pay for apartment rent for him too, and how this could mess up everything with Anthony, just as he was almost about to consider the possibility of perhaps, maybe getting me an engagement ring, which is the type of thing that unemployed Warren is not going to give me, unless he has some rich relatives somewhere. I am very confused about all of this as you tell, but at least Mike isn’t telling his boring stories.

Liz

Liz, it's déjà vu, which means "already seen," and it's this feeling you get, where something it's happening feels like it's already happened B4 another time, only U know it hasn't. Not "DJ view," U goof!

And Y do men keep associating Liz with having a home? She's a grade-four teacher, not a realtor! MayB those Transformers who R studying us cd look in2 this mystery?

Apes