Chill, Mom!
My mom. Sooooo embarrassing. "Don't chew with your mouth open!" Yell a little louder across the crowded airport, Ma, & while U R at it, remind me how 2 wipe properly. Must say I [heart] Liz today 4 telling her off a bit w/the way she was talking to me. B4 we left for the airport, Liz warned me that Mom wd probably do something like this. One time, when Liz was a bit younger'n me, she went away 4 a weekend trip, & right B4 Liz got on the bus, Mom yelled, "Did you pack your sanitary napkins?!?!" Liz wd have been so happy 2 have the earth swallow her up just then. Why do 'rents love 2 embarrass their kids?!?!?
posted by April Patterson @ 8:28 AM
6 Comments:
At 9:46 AM,
Anonymous said…
I figure that the problem is she's trying to train us up to be "proper Pattersons".
I was thinking though Apeface and I don't think she was exactally talking to you. It was her way of yelling at all the people she preceives as snobs. After all, she can't walk up to a stranger and tell them to stop slurping, chewing, and burping with their mouths open. You know she dearly wants to. She thinks they are so gross, this from a woman who sticks her tounge out when she laughs.
At 9:47 AM,
Anonymous said…
Oh sorry Apes fruedan slip there, and I took out my contact lenses and couldn't find my glasses. Mom perceives people to be SLOBS, she's the snob.
At 3:12 PM,
April Patterson said…
heh, slobs-snobs--that's a good one. ma's the snob, the rest r slobs.
that patterson training we get makes me soooo tired sometimes. gd thing lawrence is keeping u busy, cuz u know ma's going to focus on u more since i'm not around!
At 4:02 PM,
Anonymous said…
i m so glad my mom izn't a patterson. all she tells me is "don't get pregnant or i'll throw ur ass out in the gutter." i'm glad i have such a kool mom. although i do wish she did some mom things sometimes, 'stead of passing out drunk on the sofa or entertaining "uncles" in her bedroom at 3 am so i can't sleep 4 school the next day.
anyway, have fun on the farm! Njoy ur mom-free summer! marjee an' i are planning to go to the pool a lot an' hook us sum guys.
becks
At 6:31 PM,
Anonymous said…
Why do 'rents love 2 embarrass their kids?!?!?
In my mom's case, it was becuz she wished I wasn't born. One time she told peeps for no reason that I shizzit my pants in kindergarden. That's no ones biz. She's a 'ho.
At 6:50 PM,
April Patterson said…
rents r crizzazee, rhonda! but we'll all get our chances 2 embarrass 'em right back!
hey becks, did u & marjee go 2 that cute boutique in toronto where u said u2 were gonna buy new swimsuits?
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