Gramps IM'ed
Back in her June letter, Liz mentioned she'd taught Gramps 2 use IM. She wasn't 2 sure if he'd figured out her instructions, but I guess he did, cuz he just IM'ed me. U C, someone (Duncan?) tipped him off that I'd been thinkin' about getting a mohawk. So here I was all bracing myself 4 a lecture abt how I shdn't. But guess what?
Peace out, Apes
GrampsWarHeroJim: DO IT!!!!NEway, that's what Gramps is up 2, I guess. In other news, my mom traveled to Dagwood and Blondie Bumstead's house for some big anniversary party. Which is weird, cuz I don't remember her ever mentioning being friends with them.
ApeFool91: ???
GrampsWarHeroJim: Aw, c'mon, it would be so funny to see my daughter have a cow over your hair! Too funny!
ApeFool91: But I wd B so grounded. & Liz reminded me abt how bad "grounded" chores R. Remember that 1 time?
GrampsWarHeroJim: Oh, right.
ApeFool91: But I'll prolly get a mohawk wig & trick her in2 thinking I got buzzed.
GrampsWarHeroJim: LOL. Pls call me 1st so I can come over. So much more fun than the Annual Scenic Gardens and Landscaping Tour.
ApeFool91: ???
GrampsWarHeroJim: Iris's idea. "Oh, Jim, it'll be fun!" It wasn't. But it put me to sleep and I guess I can always use a good nap. Speaking of which, I'm late for my next nap. Bye, dear.
ApeFool91: Bye, Gramps!
Peace out, Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:14 AM
40 Comments:
At 8:46 AM,
Anonymous said…
You notice that it's mostly the obnoxious people who have shown up early at the Bumstead's house. Early yesterday evening Mom grumbled something to Dad about burt casseroles and children. She said she was going to a friends house to help prepare for a party because who wouldn't want Elly Patterson looking over your shoulder telling you you're doing something wrong? Well no she didn't say that, but you know how Mom is.
Anyway, April I still want to caution you on your association with this person called Howard. I need a little more proof that he was "hired" by someone to "attack" me to "get me back together" with Anthony. I don't think it's going to work. Everything is too complicated with Anthony. I want to go back to Mtig where it's peaceful and simple.
As far as the "hawk goes. You should totally do some henna tats. They stay on for 15 to 20 days. That ought to really freak mom out when she tries to wash of your temporary tats. You can say, "Well the hair was a joke, but Danny thought it would be cool to take me to a tatoo parlor one night after getting drunk."
Grandpa cracks me up. He's getting more and more demented everyday. I went to see him the other day and he said to me, "Elly. You're not as young as you used to be. Stop taking Elizabeth's clothes. She's a young girl, a pretty young girl. You shouldn't use her underwear either." It was weird.
At 9:11 AM,
April Patterson said…
i don't blame u 4 being wary abt this howard thing, after everything u've been thru. i hope anthony doesn't try 2 use all yr emotions against u right now.
thanx 4 the link abt the henna tats. that shd freak her out but good.
funny u shd say that abt gramps. the last time i was there, he was all, "lizzie, u got yr hair cut in bangs again. it looks good, but weren't u a bit taller the last time i saw u? & shdn't u dress more professionally if u're trying 2 b a teacher?"
At 11:27 AM,
Anonymous said…
i wish my granddad was still alive. but he's always looking over me with a robe on so thats good.
At 11:38 AM,
howard said…
April,
Lawrence came back from the Annual Scenic Garden and Landscaping Tour totally ticked off. He was ranting, “I rent the buses, I gather the geezers, and I can barely hear myself from all the snoring. They should call it the Annual Senior Sleeping Tour.” Next year, he wants me to give the tour in my dress and wig to see if that wakes them up. Although from your description of your grandfather, all I would probably hear is “Elly. I’m glad you’re finally dressing correctly.” Lawrence told me he tried to deliver the wigs and stuff to your dad, while your mom was at the Bumstead place, but you were out of town or something. So, maybe when you get back.
As for your sister, apparently Lawrence’s “friend” reads this blog and was very unhappy at me spilling the beans on the “attack.” I am supposed to lay off so your sister has the time to “properly contemplate family mating tradition and destiny.” Whatever that means.
Toodles,
Howard Kelpfroth
At 11:50 AM,
April Patterson said…
hi, billy. some1 told me yr gramps plays w/our dead dog farley up in heaven, but i don't know what 2 think about that.
wow, howard, mike's got some real issues going on. what have u got 2 say 4 yrself mike? u r awfully quiet lately.
At 1:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
u guys won't believe it i got hired 2 sing at that Bumstead party!!! i had 2 learn a bunch of old fogey songs 4 it tho. anyway, i wuz there early too, 2 do the sound chek, an' i saw mrs. p. she wuz going around messing with all the decorations, saying she wuz "fixing" them an' that the caterer wuz a slob. even tho u know mrs. b is the caterer an' she set up the decs. apes, ur mom is a big ol' B-I-T-C-u know what!! then ur mom came over an' started telling me i wuz doing the sound chek wrong. WTF? ur mom knows nothing about music! then she started berating me something like i should have insisted that the rest of 4 Evah be invited 2 play the gig an' that i'm a spoiled only child. i tried 2 take that moment 2 remind her about marjee but she went on an' on about how if i dis u apes that i'm gonna "end up on the pole." at that point i got so mad i "accidentally" dropped an amp on her foot! she limped all nite long!
hey liz u should lay off howard. he invited me down 2 the GLBTU Opera House the other day 2 borrow some of their sound equipment 4 the gig at the Bumsteads an' 2 learn from their sound man how 2 do a real pro job. then we went an' had something called "high tea" after. he'z cube!
lylas, becks
p.s.--billy my mom sez there's no such thing as heaven it's just a fairy tale they tell kids. sux, huh?
she also sez she wishes she believed in hell cuz she wants 2 see my dad burning in it. i get tired of listening 2 her slam dad but even i thought that was pretty funny!
At 1:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
Sorry, Apes. War an' peace starts with this boring party at Annette Scherers place an' Annette goes on an' on about how much she hates this Napoleon dude an' uses a lotta French words. I didnt think NEbody was listening 2 me NEway so I said that Annettes friend Avril Patterson came 2 the party an' talked about her hair. Thanks 4 the headsup. If somebodys listening 2 me Id better stop changing the French words 2 French swear words b4 I get in2 more trouble.
p.s. Beckers, my lips r naturally handsome. u r just gonna hafta deal.
At 2:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
ur lips r naturally purple an' shiny?!? i'd have a doctor check that out pronto!
At 2:06 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hello, April. Michael is very busy--obsessed, even--with improving his chess game. He's been up all night reading this book. It's fine by me, given my persistent migranes. Next he hopes to become an expert at this game. One project at at time, I remind him. I'll tell him to grace your blog with his ruminations as soon as he takes a break.
I suppose there are more catastrophic things than you getting a mohawk. Please maintain it so as to avoid split ends, first and foremost.
Love,
Dee
At 2:13 PM,
Corny name said…
wooo.. MOhawk... GET IT..
you only get a shot at a mohawk once in your life.... DO IT..
(btw.. your gramps is pretty cool)
At 2:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
Those goyem, I tell you! I am Farblondzhet! How does Blondie look so good at her age? She is so shaineh. Feh!
April, perhaps your mother could get some advice at the party. Michael tells me she often worries about aging.
Zei Gesund,
Lovey
At 4:44 PM,
April Patterson said…
ugh, becks, i'm so embarrassed abt my mom acting like that @ the bumsteads. but that's so great that u got hired 2 sing there! don't let my mom get u down!
dee, i hope that mike keeps himself so busy w/that chess stuff that he doesn't have time 2 meddle NEmore.
it's ok, duncan, no harm done. :)
thanx 4 yr comment, el diabl020. i'll prolly just do the wig trick now, but mayB when i'm 18 & away @ university i'll do it for real!
lovey, yup, what u said!
At 4:49 PM,
Anonymous said…
I am seriously upset right now. First Howard comes on to me in a totally rude manner. Then he scares the crap out of me by hanging around the house, and in the process almost running over Dad. Finally he attacks me, grabbing my boob and scaring the jeebers out of me. I don't care if Santa Claus himself hired Howard to do whatever he says they hired him to do. What he did was still a crime.
Let us say someone hired someone else to take out Mom and that hired person did, said hired person would still be guilty of a crime. Howard committed a crime against me and I was the victim. I would at least expect my sister and even her friend to stand behind me in a case like this, I've been traumatized, not only that I've was cornered by Anthony about his feelings and now I have to figure out what to do about it.
If I ever getting around to pressing charges, I'm going to make sure that Howard is sent to councling. Mark my words.
At 5:02 PM,
April Patterson said…
u've been thru a horrible, scary thing, so i don't blame u for feelin' traumatized. i think ne1 wd.
At 6:07 PM,
howard said…
April,
I did get to meet Becky and her mom and uncle Bill, who were there with her to help her load equipment. They were just in time for “high tea,” although Becky’s folks looked a little disappointed when I brought out the White Lion herbal tea. Becky had to explain to them that it was not that kind of “high.”
Our sound man said Becky is real sharp. You should be really proud of her to get the Bumstead gig. That’s a very exclusive party. I am also impressed that your mother got invited. She must run in some pretty powerful circles. Rumor has it that your mom’s behaviour was pretty mild compared to some guy named Hagar who was there. Any details, Becky?
I am really feeling bad about your sister. I didn’t realize that I had injured her bosom. I was going more for a gentle bear hug approach. All my life I have done things that I was asked to do by people I admired, but realized later I shouldn’t have – like eating bugs, jumping off bridges, wearing tutus in church and of course, taking that job to “attack” your sister. I am already in counseling to deal with my problem of trying too much to please others. Your sister should go ahead and press charges. I am ready to take the punishment I so richly deserve.
Hanging my head in shame,
Howard Kelpfroth
At 6:33 PM,
Anonymous said…
ugh apes can't you ban this jerk with the ads?
howard u r such a nice guy. thanx for the help an' the compliments. just one correction tho: those weren't my parents. the people who came with me 2 the opera house were my half-sister marjee an' her boyfriend maynard. they r totally cube but also kinda stoners--funny u picked up on that!
party gossip: wuz hagar the redehaded guy with the horn hat an' the axe? if so he wuz a total scuzz. he got drunk on punch real early in the nite an' started chopping stuff up with his axe. he even busted one of the amps howard loaned me! fortunately mrs. b wuz really nice an' offered 2 pay the opera house 2 replace it so i wouldn't lose my deposit.
liz, i m sorry u cannot seem 2 make urself get angry at the rite people. howard did not know what he wuz doing wuz a bad thing. he thought he wuz helping u get back with ur grandpa, not ur skeezy married ex. the people who deserve ur anger are mike, gordo, an' lawrence, but i'm guessing u r too pattersonized to blame them. u just pick the ez target with the k name, like ur mom taught u. i m sorry but my loyalty is 2 apes, an' i m starting 2 worry that her family iz more screwed up then mine. plus, ur family has been really mean 2 me. ur parents hate my guts an' r always trying 2 turn apes against me. u r sometimes around when they do it too--like at grad. but u never stick up 4 me...so y should i stick up 4 u?
lylas apes! becks
At 6:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
p.s.--anyway liz, frum what apes told me, it did not sound like u were upset about what howard did at all.
At 6:37 PM,
Anonymous said…
pps--can u show me how 2 make an icon of myself like u an' dunc, apes? i looked at that program an' totally didn't get it.
At 6:50 PM,
howard said…
Becky,
Your half-sister Marjee and her boyfriend Maynard? So sorry. I am such a silly-willy when it comes to remembering names. As for the amp, that explains this check from Mrs. Bumstead.
I really appreciate your support Becky, but I am afraid I am going to have to side with Elizabeth on this one. She is right. She is the victim. She should press charges. If she is following the advice of her mother, then that is a good thing. I know that I would have never learned how to properly apply makeup, if it weren’t for my mother.
Toodles,
Howard Kelpfroth
At 6:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
u've never met mrs. p, have u howard?
consider urself lucky. very lucky.
tea wuz fun. thanx for treating me. i liked the cucumber samwiches with the crusts cut off. mayb we can do it again sometime?
don't worry, liz isn't really upset about the attack. she's pretending 2 here but mostly that's cuz she sees we're friends an' pattersons hate me. apes sez she seemed really happy when she got home that nite. she wuz playing with her cat an' everything.
becks
At 7:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
Have you ever considered Becky, that when I really get upset I clam up and you can't tell. After all I do get upset over the littlest things, perhaps because I repress all the big things. Just because I don't seem to be upset doesn't mean I'm not. April wasn't home when I got home. Was she? No. I talked to Shiimsa because I was upset. Looks like she's the only person, well creature I can count on. People are too complicated.
I am a Patterson. I have to live with my mom, you don't. You're friends with April you should understand what we endure. The bitchiness you get from my mom is easy stuff, so no I don't stick up for you, I envy that you get to walk away from her at the end of the day thinking, "Whew I'm so lucky she's not my mom!"
You're young though so there is a lot about people you don't understand. Even more so you are playing a potentially dangerous game with somone who has exhibited dangerous behavior! You don't have any evidence that what he says is true, so far all he has given us is heresay. We do know he stalked and attacked me. You figure it out. And I thought you were smart.
Apes I'm taking a walk for awhile. I'll call and talk to you on your cell at about 9pm. Keep the line open.
At 7:12 PM,
April Patterson said…
hey, becks, i m totally proud of u & yr singing @ the big party. i'm also glad u had fun w/howard @ high T.
yeh, i can help u w/the icon. we'll make a really cube 1 4 u.
i'm working on the comment spam. it's really annoying & hard 2 keep up w/.
At 7:15 PM,
April Patterson said…
ok, liz, i'll wait 4 yr call. don't let dad trick u in2 helping him sew costumes for the little choo-choo ppl, he'll have u working on them 2 hours & hours!
At 7:20 PM,
Anonymous said…
liz, u r a grade-a bitch. u just want me 2 show loyalty 2 u without u having 2 show it in return. i don't care what ur lame excuses about ur mom are. u r basically a clone of ur mom anyway. u want 2 passively lay around an' have people do everything nice 4 u, but u don't want to have 2 b a nice person 2 anyone else.
plus it iz not like i have an easy life. my mom is a drunken speed freak whore who is always bringing home guys who sometimes try 2 mack on me after she passes out. she hardly ever buys groceries so i have 2 steal the money out of her purse an' do it myself. (no casseroles 4 me!) an' a lot of times there is no money cuz she spent it all on drugs. my dad ran off months ago an' we only found out where he was a little while ago an' now he's doing jail time on domestic abuse.
i can't tell you how many times i have gone 2 bed at night and wished i had rents who were just a couple of judgmental foobs like you an' ape have. but funny how u don't see me whining about my rents even half as much as u do. if any1 is spoiled or a dumb bimbo it's u.
wow liz i used 2 think u were kinda cube but now i realize u r just as bad as ur parents an' mike. don't bother talking 2 me anymore.
p.s.--i m smart dumbass i brought my sis an' her bodybuilder boyfriend with me 2 the opera house. r u the world's first illiterate teacher or something?!?
At 7:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
ps--liz, don't go talking about being smart an' recognizing what's right in front of ur face. u have a long history of ignoring the obvious. like when eric wuz boning another girl. everyone else saw that coming a mile away. just like we all saw the howard attack coming a mile away. the only 1 who didn't see those things wuz YOU.
At 8:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
You know Becky. There are a million things I can fling at you. Things about your behavior and so on, but I realize that you're just a kid. You've had a hard life so far. I'm just frightened. Howard attacked me. You have no evidence that all he said is true. So how are you going to feel if Howard "goes after me again"? Oh you'll applaud because you will see it as a Patterson getting what's coming to them huh? I may have been slow about coming to realizations, but at least I came to them. I really expected better from you Becky, after all you're not a Patterson.
At 9:26 PM,
April Patterson said…
wow, i h8 it that my best bud & my sis r fighting like this. i wish every1 cd get along!
becks, tho my fam sayz some lousy shizzit abt u, liz was the only 1 said something nice right after grad about u having talent. my mom stood there smirking when liz was saying that. & when my dad had that talk w/me abt how u'd prolly b unhappy if u were successful? liz was totally standing behind him rolling her eyes as me & doing that twirly finger thing by her ear meaning dad's crazee. so she's been a lot more cube about u than the others.
& liz, i think we shd see what mike has 2 say. cuz if he did set everything up, u know we can totally get him 2 fess up, cuz he's hopeless abt keeping this kind of thing under wraps if we push @ him. remember when he finked 2 ma that time u tried weed, but he obviously asked her not 2 tell her it was him who told? we had him spilling it all in five minutes just by giving him a stare.
ne-way, i want us 2 work this all out!
apes
At 9:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
first, most of the "bad behavior" u think i've done is just nasty rumors an' misunderstandings. i'm not any worse than ur average kid.
an' no, i don't want 2 see u get hurt, but ur attacks on me--an' you did start this bitchfest, not me--were really mean an' uncalled for. an' u have been sounding like u have a few screws loose in a lot of them.
maybe this is all cuz u just got attacked. ok, maybe i should cut u some slack on that.
but here's the thing: i've met howard an' he seems like a straight up guy. not that what he did 2 u wuz right. but it sounds like he got misled by lawrence. an' it's hard 2 say no 2 ur boss when he asks u 2 do something. so i can sympathize. i also think that he is sincere when he sez he will accept the punishment he deserves.
i know u don't want 2 believe that ur brother an' ur ex love an' all their friendz were in a plot against u. that's some scary shit. but mayb u should give it some thought. u have 2 admit, the "coincidence" that anthony wuz there just when u needed him iz pretty lame.
i always thought i kinda liked u an' it bugs me that u will probably marry this ancient anthony loozer an' that's what he is, he's a loozer. he's cheating on his wife maybe not with sexx but with feelings an' that's just as bad. believe me it suxx 2 know that ur dad iz not being true 2 his promises 2 ur mom an' what's anthony's kid gonna feel like some day when she finds out what happened? an' even if frenchy is kinda a bitch, she iz still anthony's wife an' he should deal with that be4 trying 2 line up a new girlfriend. my dad did that he didn't leave my mom 'til he had a new woman an' he just moved frum our house 2 hers an' why do you think my mom is so messed up now? it's cuz when dad left she found out her whole life wuz a lie cuz dad didn't love her but he stayed married 2 her anyway for awhile. what anthony iz doing to frenchy an' the french fry is evil. sorry but knowing he sez he still luvs u makes me think he's not a good guy an' could definitely be bad enough 2 set up a plot like howard sez.
sorry i have 2 go i'm kinda crying here now. but i really m sorry what happened 2 u liz.
becks
At 10:08 PM,
Anonymous said…
Aww Becks you are a good kid you know that?
You know, I'd really like some concrete evidence that Howard was put up to this. It's just my intuition is telling me something else. I really, really don't want to see you hurt. Really!
Holy cow Mom just walked in/snuck up on me and asked what I was sniffling about. I told her maybe I was catching a cold and now she's all freaking out with her arms flapping. I think I'm gonna go get myself some chocolate.
At 10:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
ur pretty cube too liz. im sorry we fought. i know ur not like ur mom an' dad an' that u stick up 4 me sometimes. i just got a little upset. this whole thing with u an' anthony iz just hitting a little 2 close 2 home u know?
don't worry i won't meet howard alone only in public or with marjee an' her bf. i can't help liking him tho. i don't have a dad anymore an' it's nice to have a "big brother" kinda guy 2 hang out with an' help me out with stuff. also don't worry 2 much cuz he's super-gay. when we had tea he drank it with his pinky out like an ol' lady! sorry howie but it's true! :)
ok gotta go an' hide the bottles of vodka b4 mom gets home.
i hope we r ok now liz.
becks
At 10:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
I must say, Miss April, that your mother and I had a postively divine time at the Bumsteads' dinner party. Over cosmopolitans and highballs, we discussed ways to subtlely manipulate people through our advice. *chuckle* I told her where to shop for quality Hummel swans and she gave me a fabulous tuna casserole recipe.
Perhaps I could match Rita up with Jon Arbuckle. They both seem most lonely.
At 10:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
hey, i think that rita lady is the same 1 who used 2 b my mom's AA buddy. i m not sure tho cuz she hasn't been 2 a meeting in a long time.
At 11:05 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ms. Worth it's a good thing your casserole is so unhealthy. At least I have the satisfaction of knowing my mother will never cook it. The same can't be said for her zuchinni and tofu surprize.
At 11:14 PM,
Anonymous said…
Yes, Miss Rebecca, it pains me that Rita has been less than diligent in her rehabilitation process. I have forgiven her for the swan snafu and taken her back into my Charterstone abode. My other Hummels are in a locked case now.
Now that I think about it, Mark Trail is still single. April, I think he and your sister Elizabeth would make a lovely couple.
At 11:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
i heard that mark trail is like that movie--a 40 year old virgin. iz that true?
At 12:43 AM,
Anonymous said…
i've herd that mark trail is actually like a ken doll, if u no wot i mean.
april, i also herd a rumor that ur bro sux at chess. iz that tru?
At 2:15 AM,
howard said…
April and Becky,
I came back from the cast party after the Milborough Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Light Opera Company’s final performance of the Pirates of Penzance, read the invectives between Elizabeth and Becky, and started weeping profusely. There was so much negativity and it was all my fault. It even attracted the attention of Mary Worth, and believe me, you don’t want her involved in your troubles. My great grandfather Augustus Kelpfroth was almost ruined by her bad advice, back when she went by the name Apple Mary and my family still talks about it 70 years later. I am so proud of April for being such a little peacemaker in helping to bring you ladies back together and just in time.
Becky, when we met, I never realized you had such a troubled home life. I was kicked out of my house when I was 16, so I thought I had an abominable adolescence, until I read your posts. The next time you visit, you can have all the cucumber sandwiches you want, plus I have a recipe for artichoke hearts that is to die for. By the by, drinking tea with your pinky out is not an indication of sexual preference. Rex Harrison did it in “My Fair Lady” and he had a lot of machismo.
April, your sister says she wants evidence of my story and I have none to offer. I have no contracts, receipts, taped telephone conversations, surveillance video, blood-typing, DNA analysis or psychic detectives to offer. Besides Lawrence says that his “friend” wants your sister to keep on believing the “attack” was real and if I want legal help when your sister finally presses charges, I “better stop acting like Ned Beatty in ‘Deliverance’!” He says his “friend” is still keeping up with your blog, even though the “friend” is currently involved in “mastering mind-boggling, medieval, military maneuvers.” Whatever that means.
I hope tomorrow goes better,
Howard Kelpfroth
At 9:03 AM,
April Patterson said…
brian, it's true--mike is terrible at chess. dunc can fill u in on the deets cuz mike forced him 2 play a bunch of times.
what an honour 2 have so many of the bumsteads' friends stopping by here 2 comment! mrs. worth, i think my mom sells some swans like that in her store. we heard about the little "accident" that happened with yrs, mayb ma will give u a discount, esp since u gave her a cass. recipe. she loves recipes like that.
howard, u must wish u'd never gotten mixed up with lawrence's "friend" who can only b my bro mike. no1 else makes such disgusting alliterations. well, i heard that an american vice president named spiro agnew used 2 come close, but that was wayyyy b4 my time.
becks & liz, u both had me cryin' while readin' yr comments. when i get back, we are totally gonna play darts. get yr pictures ready to put up on my dartboard: ma, mike, anthony, beckers' dad, & so on. we so need 2 do this!
howard, i'm not sure, but i think yrs & yrs ago, mary worth told my mom's mom that a richards is a 4th-rate worth! this lady sure goes way back with lots of us, doesn't she?
apes
At 9:10 AM,
Anonymous said…
don't worry, every1, my bf & i will keep an eye on becks. we had a blast with howard, he's just like becks described him.
by the way, u might have noticed that vicki simone mentioned me in a couple of her comments & u might wonder how we r connected, since i'm liz's age. u c, when i went searching 4 my birth parents back when i wuz 18, i learned that both of my birth 'rents had daughters the same age! becks is my birth dad's kid, and vicks is my birth mom's kid. crazee isn't it? so i've been hanging w/both girls as much as i can. they haven't met yet cuz vicks was living in ottawa, but they've just moved 2 m-boro! vicks is gonna b going 2 school w/becks & apes next month!
At 10:02 AM,
howard said…
Marjee,
You and Maynard and Becky are welcome to stop by the GLBTG Light Opera anytime. Our next production is going to be "The Merry Widow," and I was hoping to play the title role. However, the director says I should play in the chorus for this one, as I may be doing jail time in the near future and would miss most of the rehearsals for the principals.
Toodles,
Howard Kelpfroth
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