April's Real Blog

Thursday, August 11, 2005


I keep refreshing my comments to see if NE1 knows something about what's going on w/Liz. I'm so nervous 4 her! It's hard being away like this, so I'm glad I've got peeps keeping me updated. Liz, R U OK? Beckers? Dunc? Aunt Bev & Uncle Danny think I'm a total internet addict cuz everytime they turn around I'm back here.

Ugh, wd U believe I got an e-mail from Jeremy Jones? He said it's my fault Becky left the band cuz I'm so lame-o. This was totally out of nowhere, U know? Weird.


  • At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Liz said…

    Ok Apes. Don't freak or anything. There was a big kerfuffle over at the greenhouse. Lawrence left be at the desk and Howard assaulted me. He grabbed my boob hard and it still hurts but.

    Ah crap. Mom just came in here so I had to minimize the screen lest she find your blogg. (Not that she could find it on her own, what with her technological ineptness. But then I am not putting anything past Mom's nosiness.) Anyway she asked me what I was doing and I told her that I was writing to you. She freaked and said. "Don't you dare tell April about this! She's only 14 she doesn't need to know about things like this. You're only going to scare and upset her! She's on vacation for goodness sake, down on the farm! Are you trying to make my baby grow up before her time?" She went on a little bit about a dangerous world and how a mother always is in fear for her children. She says she's glad you're not here, but on the other hand she wishes you were. She says she wants all her babies home right now, just so she can be sure they're safe. Then she kinda walked away sobbing a little. I think she's a little hysterical. She's standing outside the door, keeping watch on me. I'll tell you all the dirt later. Just rest assured that I'm ok little sis. And...well I love you.

  • At 9:03 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    phew, liz, i m so relieved u r ok! now i know why ma just called aunt bev a second ago & said "give my baby a hug", & hung up crying. aunt bev thought she musta totally lost it. also thanx 4 hiding my blog. I still want her 2 think that bogus picture thing is my "blog". ha ha.

  • At 9:20 AM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    so liz, did u tear off his "package"? or did some1 rescue u?

    inquiring minds want 2 know.


    p.s.--glad u are ok. sorry ur boob still hurts. did howard get arrested? i hope he rots in jail.

  • At 10:57 AM, Anonymous duncan said…

    Sorry Apes, I missed it. I'm at my lawyer's office waiting to go over to court. If I'd of been there, that guy would be dead and I'd be in more trouble but it would be worth it 'cause everybody woud think that I'm a hero not a perv.

    It's great your ok, Liz.

  • At 12:40 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    thanx 4 checking in dunc--hope things go ok w/yr lawyer.

  • At 5:07 PM, Anonymous Jeremy said…

    Yeah you're lamo Ape-o. You can't even play the guitar without having your G string break. You'd be better off being a pole dancer with moves like that.

  • At 5:16 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    see what i mean, ppl? he just goes after me 4 no reason. must b bored this summer, huh, jeremy?

  • At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Jeremy said…

    You know you like it Ape-o. You love the attention I give you. Besides you're there and you're a lamo Patterson, what more reason do I need?

    Admit it. If if wasn't for me you'd be sitting there agonizing over Liz and Uncle Howard's torrid love affair. Secretly you are in love with me. I saw the I love Jeremy Jones paper you were making in home room with little hearts and April Jones written all over it.

    Besides, what are you going to do? Send Gerald to put me in a headlock?

  • At 6:10 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, jeremy, that "love" paper was a joke that becky made! she alwayz does a gag gift on my b-day since i was born on april fool's day! i can't b'lieve u thought that was real.

  • At 6:19 PM, Anonymous duncan said…

    Shut up Jer. Do you have a brother named Howard or is he your dad?

  • At 6:22 PM, Anonymous Jeremy said…

    Keep telling yourself that babe.

    I thought you were lameo, but now I think you are more challenged than Shannon. I bet Becky's gonna come to your rescue now and say she wrote the note, but you and I both know the truth babe. What a minute. She was kinda teed off about you and Gerald all hot an' heavy at the grad dance. I think she has a thing for you Ape-O. Better watch out.

    By the way. It's a good thing you stopped playing the guitar. You're musicality is very lacking. Harsh I know, but you still love me.

  • At 7:55 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    lalalalala, whatev, jeremy! u say i'm so in luv w/u but u're the 1 who acts all obsessed w/me. u need a diff hobby!

  • At 10:13 PM, Anonymous Jeremy said…

    Hey it's summer. I'm bored. I thought I'd give you a thrill. I know you are jonesen for the Jonesmeister.

    Gee Dunc, can't you read? Guess not. Butt out off this. No one asked you. Go back to your mirror and practice putting on your grape lipgloss.

  • At 1:08 AM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    jeremy just has a sick fantasy about watching us 2 have hott lesbian sexx. take a number and get in line, jones. dunc got there 1st.

    get comfy cuz u'll be waiting 4 a long time. till hell freezes over.

    god, u are probably the biggest tard in school...they just don't have "special" enough "special classes" for super-tards like u. they don't want nice kids like shannon 2 get contaminated by ur perviness.

    an' if u r too stupid 2 understand an april fool's joke, well, the government should just save their money and kick u out of school now. ur hopeless.

    now fuck off. ur not welcome here. remember, i have a lawyer on retainer an' the chief of police on my speed dial. just ask dunc what happens when u mess with me.

    The Beckinator


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