April's Real Blog

Monday, October 31, 2005

Everyone!

So the good news is that Liz didn't have 2 pay 4 all those refreshments after all. Then the scary news is that since Liz sed the kids cd invite NE1 they want 2 come along 4 the stargazing, then "everyone" is coming along. Geez, not much 2 do up there, I guess. Liz thought she was doing a lil demo 4 her lesson, & then she findz out she's hosting a big ol' shindig. I think your lesson, besides "$", mite B never tell yr kiddles 2 bring along NE1 they want. 2 NEthing.

Well, it's Halloween 2day, & we had the choice 2 wear a costume 2 school or wear our street clothes. Becky and I R dressed up as the Hilton sisters, Paris and Nicky. We cdn't wear the s00per-slutty clothes the Hiltons like 2 wear, but we got sum sparkly lil dresses that'll still pass the dress rulez. Becks str8ened out her hair & I've got a long blonde wig on. Gerald is dressed as a character from the Star Wars series, tho I'm not sure which char. he's supposta B. I don't know abt Dunc, since his Mom has him coming in a bit l8, but I have a feeling he'll 4get & just wear his uni.

Becks & Dunc have kinda sorta hooked up, & Jeremy's sore abt it. He sez I oughta B worried abt Ger, 2, & I don't wanna B. But Ger, Y didn't U ev. show up @ our lil jam session yesterday?

Wednesday we have "take your kid 2 work day". My mom wanted me 2 come 2 the store, but my dad pointed out that she always has me doing her work for her helping out @ the store, so I shd spend the day @ his dental clinic. Dad won. Yay! So mayB I'll even get sum useful info 4 Brenda Starr's investigation.

Apes

45 Comments:

  • At 8:05 AM, Anonymous duncan said…

    I didnt 4get, Apes. I got up early 2 put my hair in dreds 'cos Im coming as Anson Carter. The Leafs suxs so bad its kinda cube 2 wear a Canucks jersey 4 a day.

    C u l8r.

    p.s. Beckers, I cant wait 2 C yr costume. Meet me @ the boiler room Btween 1st an' 2nd period?

     
  • At 8:15 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i just saw dunc & his dreds lk pretty cube. but he mite get a lot of abuse 4 wearing that canucks jersey!

    apes

     
  • At 8:59 AM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    Halloween is usually a great day for cross-dressers like me, because I can wear one of my better dresses in public and not be criticized for it. This morning however, I got to work and found Tracey Mayes there waiting for me and Fiona Brass with costumes that she had selected for us to wear. Fiona Brass is now wearing a Supergirl outfit, complete with flowing cape. I am now wearing a Tarzan loincloth, complete with a fake monkey on my shoulder. Tracey is wearing; I can’t believe I am typing this, a dominatrix outfit, complete with whip and handcuffs. Fiona’s costume and mine are clearly rental costumes, but Tracey’s appears to have been used. There’s more I could say about that, but I won’t. Gordon Mayes popped into the restaurant briefly and he is wearing a full-up gangsta rapper outfit, complete with a mile-high afro wig, and lots of gold chains. I would love to see yours and Becky’s outfits, so if you get a chance, stop by the restaurant.

    Your story about your sister Elizabeth reminded me of yet another story about when Kortney Krelbutz and I were in Mtigwaki months ago. After we arrived, Kortney and I had planned to stay in Mtigwaki for a few days to make sure that our business had been settled up there. I remember a conversation with Jesse Mukwa that went like this:

    Jesse Mukwa: Are you two going to be staying long in Mtigwaki?
    Me: I thought we would stay a few days. Why?
    Jesse Mukwa: Well, I thought we could have a “Welcome to Mtigwaki” celebration for you at the ball diamond tonight.
    Me: I don’t think that will be necessary. We are only staying a few days.
    Jesse Mukwa: But it’s all organized. You don’t have to buy a thing!
    Me: What’s all organized?
    Jesse Mukwa: You know, -at the ball diamond tonight.
    Me: Huh?
    Jesse Mukwa: I thought since you were new to town, we could have a little party so you could meet folks and I invited anyone who was interested to show up at 7:30 and check out our new stars!
    Me: Stars? We aren’t stars. We’re just visiting for a few days. So…who’s coming?
    Jesse Mukwa: Everyone!
    Me: By everyone, you mean the persons that Kortney and I met today?
    Jesse Mukwa: No. That wouldn’t be everyone!
    Me: By everyone, do you mean all your friends?
    Jesse Mukwa: No. That wouldn’t be everyone!
    Me: By everyone, do you mean everyone in the whole town?
    Jesse Mukwa: No. That wouldn’t be everyone!
    Me: By everyone, do you mean everyone in the whole town and all its outlying areas?
    Jesse Mukwa: Now you’re catching on. Here in Mtigwaki, everyone knows everything about everyone, and we are so bored that when anything new happens, no matter how insignificant it may seem, to us it is a special event. You two are new to town. You have stories we haven’t heard. Tonight you will be our stars.
    Me: You are one freaking weird kid. Get away from me.

    That was the conversation I remember. I thought you might find it interesting.

    Toodles,
    Howard Kelpfroth

     
  • At 9:09 AM, Blogger Vicki Simone said…

    OMG Howard, that's another sign I'm not gonna live n a small town after I graduate! An' props to Tracey 4 dressing up, but it seems like every girl does the sexy dominatrix, sexy French maid, OR sexy Catwoman outfit. It's kinda been done 2 death, but maybe Tracey put a new spin on it.

    As 4 me, I wanted 2 go as a celeb like Apes an' Becks, so I'm going as Winona Ryder, w/a dark brown wig, carrying around merch on hangers w/tags an' acting really strange. Keesha Grant an' Noel Wainwright asked me if I was all right, so I must be playing the character well.

    Go, Canucks! :-)

     
  • At 9:11 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i just talked 2 becks, & she's totally in2 stopping by @ the restaurant after school. we can't w8 2 c yr costumes, either, howard!

    mtighooey soundz really creepee 2 me, sorry, liz!

    apes

     
  • At 9:13 AM, Anonymous sabina khan said…

    Well, phase 1 of Operation ScareWeed (OSW) has been put into motion, w/me, Carleen, and Deanna. I can't say anything more right now, details to follow later!

    Sabina Khan

     
  • At 10:07 AM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    the only thing i don't get apes is y u got the blonde wig nicky has brown hair last time i saw her in us magazine.

    dunc baby i will c u in the janitor's closet btween 2nd an' 3d period. hope they don't have ne hazardous materials stored in there cuz we're gonna generate sum heat!

    kiss kiss, becks

     
  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    ok this post is howie stuff.

    so did u go 2 that weird baseball diamond star party when u were in mtigwhatsitsface?

    did gordo act surprised when he saw tracey's costume? if not i can guess how come it looks used.

    do u ever miss kortney?

    how r things btween u an' brenda? r u officially engaged yet? have u decided how many sparkly kids 2 have?

    have u managed to contract out that hit on jeremy yet? remember 2 ask wilf sobinski i bet he knows those kinds of peeps.

    becks

     
  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    nah, nicky is blonde again, lol.

    apes

     
  • At 10:15 AM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    wow ur rite. she should go back 2 being brunette tho, she looked cuter that way an' it wuz ezier 2 tell those 2 apart.

     
  • At 10:21 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    yeh, i think u r rite abt nicky. tho mayB paris has got her believing the whole "blondes have more fun" thing.

    apes

     
  • At 10:40 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks, i just got a txt mssg fr howard. he sez u misunderstood his joke abt "doody hits", mng setting sum1 up 2 step in dog poo.

    i know u r still way mad @ jeremy, but i was there when he almost died. believe me, u don't want that, pissed or not.

    apes

     
  • At 11:56 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    becks. well i wuzn’t gonno 2 go 2 skool 2day, but mom woke me up cuz some1 rang the doorbell & there wuz this bag on fire in front of the house. i had 2 go & stomp it out. flamin’ bag of dog poop. very funny, becks. then i get a call frum ur gig last nite & they say u didn’t show. i guess u were 2 bizzy feelin’ up mcdunce’s plantain 2 remember frank & ernest’s halloween party, that u set up when u met them @the bumstead anniversary party. man, becks, u have rilly been lettin’ urself go since ur dad kidnapped u. usta b, u wud nevah miss a gig. lucky 4u, i wuz able 2 convince them to reschedule 4 2morrow. if u don’t like that time, then u can reschedule them urself. aftah saturday & the dog poop, i donno y i do nething nice 4u, but i got bizness ethics. it’s not frank & ernest’s fault ur crazy. i told frank & ernest, i wuz no longer ur bizness manager cuz u kicked me 2 the curb. they sed they had been kicked 2 the curb plenty themselves & the pavement hurt, so they understood.

    sally & ted forth r xpecting u2b there 2nite 4 the halloween party they r throwing 4 their daughter hilary & her friendz. remember u scheduled them 2 @ the bumstead party. i hope u learned those kidz halloween songz they wanted. i told them u kicked me 2 the curb, so they shud call u & not me. sally sed her boss ralph had been kicked 2 the curb & had 2 work in fast food 4 awhile & i shud consider fast food. my mom sed that wuz a good idea, since i thot i wuz gonna b w/u aftah h.s. & now i have no career. there’z no way i’m doin’ fast food. sum othah band must need a roadie, a band w/o ne crayzee bee-yotches.

    i donno who u got 2 replace me. hookin’ up ur off-brand equipment iz tricky. gud luck w/that. mom sed i hadta go2 skool & she gave me 1 of those circus orange costumez 2 wear they left bhind on saturday, wen they found out i wuz 2 young 2 work 4 them. peeps have been laffin’ @ me all day. b sure 2 join in.

     
  • At 12:03 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    i don't know what u were thinking in the 1st place jeremy scheduling all these gigs on school nites. thanks a lot 4 screwing up my whole appearance calendar! i m better off w/o ur "management skillz." i will take care of all that frum now on thanx but no thanx.

    i think u shld def look in2 fast food. y were u hanging ur whole future on me neway? god ur lame. when i made it big i would of got a real manager neway. did u really think i would take u all the way 2 the top w/ me just cuz u were my roadie in h.s.?

    listen it's not like i want u dead or nething it's just that 1ce u bring the mayes machine in2 ur business u'd b surprised not only do u lose control but they really take that revenge stuff seriously.

    becks

    p.s.--not that i'm sorry or nething.

     
  • At 12:35 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    beckett, back b4 u went crayzee, u agreed 2 that schedule cuz u sed a pro hazta b able 2 work on holidayz. u may not like my management skillz, but u nevah missed a gig, wen i wuz managing. i guess i wuz stupid 2 lissen 2u ‘bout our future 2getha. that time we stayed up all nite, kissin’ & talking’ ‘bout how we were gonna get out of m-boro. i shudda known u were just playin’ me 2 get my dad’s bizness contacts. if u rilly brot the mayes machine in2 ur bizness, ur crayzier than i thot. u won’t getta rite ur own music, u won’t getta schedule ur appearances or pick ur costumes, u will prolly hafta learn to lip-synch 4 ur concerts, & they won’t b nice ‘bout losin’ that w8. man, u have lost it.

     
  • At 12:52 PM, Blogger Deanna Patterson said…

    April,

    Well, Carleen, Sabina and I certainly are certainly going to pull a "fast" one on Weed and that darned husband of mine! First Weed scares the "bejeezus" out of Merry and then Michael hands her to me, sopping wet! Sheesh!

    This is not the "first" time those two have left one or both kids screaming in terror. There was that unfortunate "Thanksgiving" incident just a while ago when Weed left a turkey carcass with a "knife" stuck in it on the porch as some strange "joke" and Merry saw it and started screaming!

    Anywho. Sabina, Carleen -- I got ahold of that model, Sophia, and she said she's be "happy" to help us prank Weed. Apparently he's been refusing to return some negatives of some pictures to her? More in a skosh!

    "Dee"

     
  • At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Sophia said…

    That Weed guy is the creepiest photog I have ever worked with. I had the distinct impression he used pix of me for something disgusting I don't even want to say, and that's why he won't give me my negs. Anyway, I jumped at the chance to help with a prank on the perv!

    Sophia

     
  • At 1:15 PM, Blogger Vicki Simone said…

    I just saw Shannon Lake n the cafeteria dressed up as Nathan Perrott. It's good that she has the helmet, w/her tendency to walk n2 walls. I never thought a Halloween costume could b so useful!

     
  • At 1:17 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    jeremy r u flunking english? cuz u have no reading comprehension. the mayeses r in on the revenge thing on u in fact the only part of that i even did wuz suggest the silly string. yikes they r good. musick is still 100% mine. i m gonna do this my own way cuz i have found out the hard way whether it's ger or jer u just can't trust a man 2 run the show 4 u.

    dunc, let's meet up bhind the equipment shed after school. i wrote a song 4 u that i want u 2 c.

    becks

     
  • At 1:17 PM, Blogger Deanna Patterson said…

    "Sophia,"

    Thanks so "much" for helping us with this! Okay, ladies, here is the plan -- Sabina, you get Mike an' Weed to the Fern Bar tonight. I guess you could "tell" them you want to discuss the effect Weed's stupid stunt had on "Merry." You excuse yourself and leave the "table." Carleen, Sophia an' I will be hiding in the "Ladies' Room." Sophia will go out and throw herself all over Weed, an' start "throwing" things at Mike, shrieking that he'd better stay away from her man. Then Carleen and "I" will come out and start screaming, Carleen at Weed for cheating on her with Sophia, me at "Mike" for cheating on me with Weed.

    Maybe we should get some "pictures" of this too!

    "Dee"

     
  • At 1:23 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I arranged for the hit for you this morning. From the posts, it appears that I may have misunderstood what you were asking, but I hope not.

    Kortney and I did not go to that weird baseball diamond star party when we were in Mtigwaki. Kortney had other things she wanted to do with me that evening, but we didn’t even get to do that because Jesse Mukwa kept showing up with animals and his sister for us to adopt. When I think about that time with Kortney there in Mtigwaki and in Las Vegas, I really miss her. It was very easy to tell how she felt about me. I wish that I was in love with her as much as I am in love with Brenda Starr. I would love to be engaged to Brenda and have sparkly children with her, but I have not had the chance to talk to her since the proposal of sparkly children was raised. I fear that she is still holding a candle for Basil St. John and prefers the single life. Possibly, she is waiting to see how my legal problems work out. You really don’t want to plan a life with a man, who may be spending the next 2 years in jail.

    As for Gordon’s reaction to Tracey Maye’s costume, he was not surprised. He said, “Look at my bitch. My boo is dime. Don’t you agree, Howard?” I said I agreed, even though I didn’t understand what he had said. Gordon said, “Word up” and went back to selling cars.

    My Tarzan costume is a little uncomfortable. I feel like I am running around naked, and I can’t count how many times I have had my bottom pinched and patted by little old ladies. Tracey Mayes is pleased. She says I fill out the costume well and it is good to know that April will be in good hands once her chosen straight drops dead from old age.

    That’s all the time I have to post,
    Howard Kelpfroth

     
  • At 1:42 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    becky bonkers. i get betta gradez n english than u & i have a betta memry 2. u & stick-girl tangi handed me that drink w/the dye n it on saturday, not ne mayes. if u b-lieve the mayes will stop @ just the revenge thing w/ur bizness, ur evn crayzier than i thot. i nevah lied 2u. i nevah did nething bhind ur back. wut u can’t trust iz ne girl who sez they wanna sumtimes bf.

     
  • At 2:07 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    jeremy, u know as well as i do that ur getting a d+ in english an' my last composition is tacked rite in the middle of the bulletin board w/ a big fat A on it. 2 bad ur dad wuz 2 buzy on the road w/ that lame band an' screwing toothless groupies 2 teach u the difference btween fantasy an' reality.

    another reading comp lesson frum me 2 u: just cuz tangi an' i participated in 1 or 2 of those little revenge deals doesn't mean we thought them up. god u r the dumbest boy alive.

    that being sed howie i don't know what u thought but i do not want u 2 kill ne1 4 me. not even jeremy even tho he is annoying as a swarm of gnats at a canada day picnic.

    becks

     
  • At 2:40 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    batty beckers. hello! b4 u went insane, we useta study english togethah. i wuz the 1 who helped u find a way 2 use the word "propinquity” n that composition w/ a big fat a. u wunted 2 spell it rite n ur writing 2 prove 2 that teech, u cud spell it, cuz u missed it n the vocab quiz & the teech made a big deel ‘bout how “misspelling mcguire got a 98 and not 100.” i may have been making a d+ in english b4, but not aftah u tot me that kissin’ way of learning, where u get a kiss if u spell a word rite. i h8 u rite now, but u did help me w/my english grades & it’s not a d+ ne more. that wuz low talkin’ ‘bout my dad like that. u may have kicked me 2 the curb, but i nevah evah once talked trash ‘bout ur parents.

     
  • At 2:42 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    just saying something does not make it true jeremy not that i xxpect a compulsive liar 2 know that.

    becks

     
  • At 3:11 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    barmy becky. i wuz lying ‘bout wut? we useta study english togethah using kissing? ne1 can check this blog & c that’s true. u used "propinquity” n ur composition? ne1 can check ur a-graded paper on the bulletin board & c that’s true. my gradez r bettah than they used 2b thanx 2u. i got the graded paperz 2 prove that’s true. or ru sayin’ i trashed talked ur ‘rents. ne1 can check this blog & c i nevah did. wut am i saying that’s not true? i told u i don’t like lying’ cuz of my dad & all hiz liez 2 me & mom. u know i think a compulsive liar iz sum1 who actually tellz liez, like “i’m not dating dunc”, but rilly iz.

     
  • At 4:01 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    u know i'm just tired of talking 2 u, i think i'll stop now.

    y r u on this blog neway? nobody here likes u.

    becks

     
  • At 4:17 PM, Anonymous duncan said…

    Oh, man, Beckers. That song.

    <3

    <3

    <3

     
  • At 4:33 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    i m so glad u liked it. when i get all the words 4 "purple lips" done i will post the song on the blog. i m sure u will help me fill in the last few lines i need 2 make it a masterpiece.

    kiss kiss

    becks

     
  • At 5:30 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becky, dunc, ger, & i stopped by the restaurant after school & howard sed he luvved our costumes. he sed he cdn't believe how much becks & i looked like sisters when i had the blonde wig on. howard, fiona, tracey, & gordo's costumes were hysterical!

    when i got 2 my mom's store afterwards, she made me put my nicky wig up in a bun! lol.

    i don't know what 2 say abt the arguments going on here xcept that i'm trying 2 keep my nose out.

    apes

     
  • At 5:50 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    the words 2 my new song

    purple lips

    every time i kiss your
    purple lips
    baby i can feel it in my
    finger tips
    running down your spine
    how sublime
    tastes like fine red wine
    now you're mine

    every time i kiss your
    purple lips
    starts a rhythm going
    in my hips
    dance around in my arms
    there's no harm
    i am alarmed
    by your charms

    (bridge)
    and when you kiss me goodnight
    by the pale silver moonlight
    i hold you tight
    -er and taste the sweet bite
    of your kiss
    your purple lips

    and when our love affair ends
    our lips never again to blend
    my heart you will rend
    in two never again to mend
    on your way you will wend
    never to be seen again
    but some day i will send
    to you this song i have penned

    i remember your kiss
    purple lips

    --becky mcguire and MCDunC

     
  • At 5:54 PM, Anonymous Sabina Khan said…

    I'm writing this post from the ladies' room at the Fern Bar. Deanna Patterson and Carleen Stein are here, and we are having the hardest time suppressing our laughs.

    So, as planned, I got Mike and Weed to meet me at this bar and I told them as somberly as possible that Merrie has been very fearful today, and terribly jumpy. I said that one of the other children arrived at the centre wearing a scarecrow costume, and that Merrie peed herself when she saw him, and then cried unconsolably for the rest of the day. I really did it up, and made myself get teary too just by pretending that what I'd said was true. I said I needed to excuse myself to get myself together.

    So then I went into the ladies, where Sophia was waiting with Dee and Carleen. She's been out there for about fifteen minutes now, and I can't wait to hear about the next phase of our little plan!

    Sabina Khan

     
  • At 6:06 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks sang part of that song when we all went 2 the restaurant & it totally sounded like it cd b a hit single. girl, u've got talent!

    apes

     
  • At 6:13 PM, Anonymous Carleen Stein said…

    So I just peeked out out Sophia is draped over Jo going, "Weedy, baby, you are soooooo sexy"! Dee and I will make our move soon!

    Carleen

     
  • At 7:14 PM, Anonymous Carleen Stein said…

    LOL, our prank went better than we could have imagined! Dee said she wants to be the one to post the details, but I'll just say Weed ended up wetting his pants & then landing in Mike's lap. Perfect ending!

    Carleen

     
  • At 8:29 PM, Anonymous duncan said…

    I get so bummed abt the verse abt r luv affair ending.

    It doesnt hafta end yet, does it Beckers?

    Yr MCDunce

    <3 <3 <3

     
  • At 8:53 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    no dunc we're not ovah but the best love songs r the 1s that r a little sad. my fave is 1 my dad likes 2 play al green sings it called "let's stay 2gether" an' he's all talking abt how he luvs her an' they should stay 2gether thru thick an' thin but they're really breaking up an' the singer dude can't deal. that's the best luv song of all time at least my dad sez an' i think i agree. al green is pretty sweet have u ever heard his stuff? u should come over 2morrow an' we'll listen 2 my dad's old records.

    kiss kiss

    becks

     
  • At 9:04 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    now i've got that song goin' thru my head. "oh y, tell me, y do ppl break up, then turn around & make up? i just came 2 c." (ok, that's the tina turner version. i think al green's was a lil diff but not that much.)

    apes

     
  • At 9:24 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    the tina turner version is xxxcellent 2. dad has both. i think tina turner is the cubest evah an' i would kill 2 b as kewl as her. sometimes i put on "private dancer" an' dance around my bedroom in my undies.

    becks

     
  • At 9:33 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, becks, i do that 2, lol! liz bought me that cd. :)

     
  • At 9:46 PM, Anonymous duncan said…

    OK, Beckers, I want 2 hear yr dads Al Green vinyl. Im always open 2 expanding my musical horizons. L8r.

    p.s. Apes, r u home? Yr mom just called my mom looking 4 u 'cos theres alot of photos of ferrets in Halloween costumes that she wants u 2 post on yr fake blog.

     
  • At 9:51 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    lol dunc yea rite act like ur at home. we all know ur outside in the bushes, spying in my window, trying 2 c if i'm listening 2 tina an' dancing in my panties rite now. ;P

    kiss kiss

    becks

     
  • At 9:51 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    dunc, i'm home but i was hiding out (lites off, posting under my covers w/a flashlite) cuz steph the web designer warned me abt my mom & those ferret pix. it's like wtf?

    apes

     
  • At 12:08 AM, Blogger Deanna Patterson said…

    Hi everyone!

    Well, as "Carleen" said, this prank just couldn't have gone any "better!" Kudos (I learned this word from one of my word-search puzzles!) to Carleen, Sabina and of course, Sophia for their most excellent acting "skills!"

    Well, Carleen, Sophia and I got to the "Fern Bar" a little ahead of Mike an' Weed. We had a quick "cosmopolitan" together, then headed towards the "restroom" to wait for Sabina. She arrived with my dear "husband" and that jerk best "friend" of his, gave them her "spiel" about Merry, then excused herself and joined us in the "Ladies Room."

    So, now it was Sophia's turn. My, what a "ruckus" she kicked up! We could hear her shouting, "Oh Josef! Weed! Weeeeeeeeeeeedy baaaaaby! Take me NOW, big boy!" I darn near "wet" my own pants, folks! We let her go on for a bit, then we all went out. Carleen charged right up to Weed and starting screaming, "Josef! How could you betray me with this ... this ... this MODEL person?!" and started hitting him over the head with her "purse."

    Well, naturally, Weed started shaking and blubbering that he wasn't there with Sophia, he was "there" with Mike. That's where I "came" in, folks! I ran up to Mike and started screaming at him, shouting, "Oh Mike, how could you do this to me? How could you "cheat" on me? With Weed, of all people! I've given you two children and you betray me with Weed?" Then Sabina jumped "in," all "Really Mr. Patterson, this is terrible! I cannot let Merry continue to attend my school, her home environment will contaminate the other children!"

    Sheesh! It turned into a real "brawl!" Mike kept trying to tell me I was wrong (well, "duh," honey!) and that he'd never cheated on me since we started "dating," everyone experiments in college, even him and Weed and that wasn't the same thing as cheating, they'd grown "out" of it and blahblahblahdiblah. Just then Weed started crying and all of a "sudden" he lost control of his bladder and "wet" himself! Revenge! He suffered the way he made my "Merry" suffer!

    And best of all -- he sort of keeled over at that point and landed "right" in Mike's lap, wet pants and all! Weed's weak bladder wreaked revenge on "Michael" for wrecking that nice Kathie Lee blouse I got at that big discount store, when he handed me a "urine-soaked" toddler!

    Anywho, we girls started "giggling" at that point, and just couldn't keep it up any longer (a condition Mike, and from what Carleen tells me, Weed, know all too "well") and we let the boys in on the joke. They didn't think it was very "funny" though! "Carleen, how could you?" and "Deanna, what in the hell were you thinking?"

    "Men!" Sheesh! Oh, they were "quite" upset, but we didn't let that spoil our fun. We headed over to the bar and celebrated our victory with a few sidecars. What fun! Thanks "again" ladies, see you Saturday for shoe-shopping!

    "Dee"

     
  • At 1:19 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i got depressed wen becky tol’ me 2 stop postin’ here, cuz nobody likes me. thass prolly true, but my mom sed i shud rite a song ‘bout how i feel, so i will feel bettah. this iz the song i ‘rote:

    lying lips

    every time i kiss your
    lying lips
    i feel the knife in your
    finger tips
    running down my spine
    how sublime
    bleeds me like fine red wine
    with your lyin’

    every time i kiss your
    lying lips
    starts a spasm going
    in my hips
    writhe around in your arms
    full of harm
    i am alarmed
    by your lack of charms

    (bridge)
    and when you kiss me goodnight
    and tell me to go fly a kite
    i hold you li
    -ar and taste the cheating bite
    of your kiss
    your lying lips

    and when our lie affair ends
    your lips never again offend
    my heart you won’t rend
    for the truth you never send
    to my way it doesn’t trend
    never to be seen again
    from your lying without end
    told in this song i have penned

    i remember your kiss
    lying lips

    --jeremy jones

     

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