Did Some1 Give Paul the "Patterson Wordplay" Booklet?

Liz told me the next bit abt her ride w/Paul. Well, actually their lil break fr. the ride, where they pulled ovr. Fortunately, no1 pulled up in a squad car & forced 'em 2 spend a nite @ a police station, LOL. So, after they made out by the side of the road (fill in yr own joke), Paul was all, "I'm falling in luv w/U, Elizabeth." Hm, Elizabeth. How formal. NEway, Liz replied w/"And I've never known NE1 like U B4!" Which, I dunno, seemz kinda like not really matching what he'd just finished telling her, but what do I know? Then, she sed, "Paul, I have 2 tell U sumthing. When we get 2 White River, I won't B taking the bus 2 Toronto. I can't meet your family. Some1 is picking me up." Paul was, like, "U've got a ride?" & Lizzie went, "Yes...in a helicopter. His name is Warren. We met @ school. He's been flying 4 a company out west." Then Paul showed how well he cd fit in w/the Pattersons: "I C. So, when U say U're being 'picked up'....U mean--literally!!!" Liz told me she raised her eyebrowz & rolled her eyez when he sed that. "I hope he doesn't turn in2 Dad on me, Apes!"

So, like, the Mary Worth party last nite. It was going so well! It started w/Mrs. Worth's big speech about the Christmas spirit and how people should resist the "throwaway" culture if they have trub w/their marriagez & other relationships, lalalalala, & when she was dun, our 1st set started. Becks played the piano & sang while I accompanied on harp, & we did the usual holly standbys: "White Xmas", "I'll Be Home 4 Xmas", "Deck the Hallz", U get the idea. Mrs. Worth seemed 2 B having a faboo time mingling w/all her guests & sharing her fave sayingz w/them. Josh an' Jane Hand were bein' all lovey dovey & talking abt getting undivorced, & Mrs. Worth was practically having an "O" over the idea.
Well, after the music was all dun, it was clear that many of the guests had 2 much 2 drink, & I don't know who started all the "I'll bet Mary can't balance herself on top of that harp" stuff. And I think Jeremy was trying 2 B nice when he shouted, "Of course Mrs. Worth can balance on top of that harp. Mrs. Worth can do NEthing she wants!" & I think Dunc was trying 2 B nice when he got the crowd chanting "Mar-ee! Mar-ee! Mar-ee!" Next thing, Mrs. Worth was, like pushing me & Becks aside so she could stand up on the piano bench, climb up on2 the piano, and then step over 2 the harp. Becks & I were both tryin' 2 talk her out of this, like, "U don't have 2 do this" & "We'll make an xcuse 4 U so yr friendz won't think U're chicken. Like, the harp's 2 fragile."

But no, Mrs. Worth just had 2 go ahead & B a daredevil. & 4 like 1 second, she was doin' it, balancing on her tiptoez atop that harp. & the crowd was cheering & she so got off on it that she was like, "Watch me leap!" So she lept, and fell, & she landed v. v. badly. Like Becks sed, Mrs. Worth broke both her legs. No visitorz, like Becks sed, but U can totally send flowers:

Mary Worth
Room 410N
Milboro Memorial Hospital

Send yr gd wishes, peeps!

Becks is tryin' 2 get all her teachers 2 say she really was here yesterday. I think they'll B hard 2 convince. Dunc's kinda slinkin' along, but glad not 2 B home. Ger's here. He sed, "I can't believe Dad wdn't rite me a note!" I just saw Jeremy carrying a huge box of coffee candy. & Alex was having sum kinda debate w/Eva abt hair accessoriez.

Apes out