What I'm NOT Talking About

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Uh-uh. I'm not doing this. I am NOT talking about vacuuming 2day. I'm not getting in2 how Eddie was all barking @ the vac until Mom decided letting him outside wd make life EZ-er. And I'm NOT getting in2 how there was a big gust of wind when Mom opened the door. And I'm NOT gonna say that just when Eddie was going out the door, Dixie Ratdog came charging in & shake-shake-shaking her snowy doggie drops all ovr the place. Nope, not gonna do it.

And now for the stuff I will talk abt. Ger. We R all talkin' abt Ger 2day, we just can't help it after the way he went all "Incredible Hulk" last nite, flippin' out @ the hockey game & after. I can't believe he actually ripped the door off of Jeremy's house & attacked him. AGAIN. & Jeremy's mom & Alex had 2 use frying pans on his head 2 stop his rampage. And Becky's, like, our hero! She went all detective & went 2 Ger's house 2 find out what Ger's mom is giving him. Becks is s00per smart abt knowing just what 2 say 2 peeps 2 get them 2 cooperate w/her! Like tellin' Mrs. F she's like a nutrition guru. That was the perfect thing 2 say 2 her. NEway, she got Mrs. F 2 show her what she's been shooting up Ger w/, & get this, peeps. I M quoting fr. Becks's post: "a potent combo of human growth hormone, steroids, EPO, and echinacea"! Like, I was so upset last nite, I didn't even have time 2 pull apart what this all meanz. I mean, we've all heard of steroids, but what abt the others? Let's ask Google.

Okay here's a link on human growth hormone. Here's an interesting bit from the link:

Human growth hormone is commonly used to treat children of pathologically short stature. There is concern that this practice will be extended to treatment of essentially normal children - so called "enhancement therapy" or growth hormone on demand. Similarly, growth hormone has been used by some to enhance atheletic [sic] performance. Although growth hormone therapy is generally safe, it is not as safe as no therapy and does entail unpredictable health risks. Parents that request growth hormone therapy for children of essentially-normal stature are clearly misguided.

(I emphasized that last bit.) Misguided, peeps! OK, so EPO is short for erythropoietin. Here's some info from my EPO link:

EPO is a protein hormone produced by the kidney. After being released into the blood stream it binds with receptors in the bone marrow, where it stimulates the production of red blood cells (erythrocytes). Medically, EPO is used to treat certain forms of anemia (e.g., due to chronic kidney failure). Logically, since EPO accelerates erythrocyte production it also increases oxygen carrying capacity. This fact did not long escape notice of the athletic community.

And also,

Blood doping is the process of artificially increasing the amount of red blood cells in the body in an attempt to improve athletic performance. In the past this was accomplished by transfusion. The athlete would “donate” a unit of blood into storage and then 3 weeks later, after the body had completely replaced the blood loss, transfuse the unit back into the body. This would occur just before a big race, effectively giving the athlete an “extra” unit of blood. This enables performance improvements in endurance sports because of the extra oxygen carrying capacity. The practice has been outlawed. Not just because it is unfair but because of the dangers involved.

Then, more scaree stuff from the same link, cited fr. Ref(1) – Tainted Glory – Doping and Athletic Performance. Noakes, TD. NEJM. 351:9. Aug.26. 2004:

Why is EPO dangerous?
The reason that EPO, and transfusion blood doping, is dangerous is because of increased blood viscosity. Basically, whole blood consists of red blood cells and plasma (water, proteins, etc.). The percentage of whole blood that is occupied by the red blood cells is referred to as, the hematocrit. A low hematocrit means dilute (thin) blood, and a high hematocrit mean concentrated (thick) blood. Above a certain hematocrit level whole blood can sludge and clog capillaries. If this happens in the brain it results in a stroke. In the heart, a heart attack. Unfortunately, this has happened to several elite athletes who have used EPO.

EPO use is especially dangerous to athletes who exercise over prolonged periods. A well-conditioned endurance athlete is more dehydration resistant than a sedentary individual. The body accomplishes this by several methods, but one key component is to “hold on” to more water at rest. Circulating whole blood is one location in which this occurs and, thus, can function as a water reservoir. During demanding exercise, as fluid losses mount, water is shifted out of the blood stream (hematocrit rises). If one is already starting with an artificially elevated hematocrit then you can begin to see the problem -- it is a short trip to the critical “sludge zone”.

Additional dangers of EPO include sudden death during sleep, which has killed approximately 18 pro cyclists in the past fifteen years, and the development of antibodies directed against EPO. In this later circumstance the individual develops anemia as a result of the body’s reaction against repeated EPO injections.

Can U believe this?!?!?! OK, let's check out echinacea. Hm, it's an herb. Supposed 2 ward off colds and speed up healing. I guess 4 all the injuriez Ger gets fr. being all Incredible Hulk.

& it turnz out it was Dr. Ted who's been giving these drugz 2 Mrs. F & callin' them "vitaminz". & Becks thinx he mighta been doing all this cuz he seriously gamblez on Mboro local sports! Sick, eh? So after Dr. & Mrs. F got Ger back fr. Jeremy's house, Dr. Ted sedated him, & now he's cutting back Ger's doses. But look @ how dangerous this shizzit is, peeps! Dr. Ted is like a total crim, doncha think?

& another thing 4 us 2 worry abt. Alex's sis was posting l8 last nite cuz Alex nevr came home! Alex, R U OK? Pls write in!!!

Apes