R.P Boire Secondary School Policy on Plagiarism and Cheating
My English teacher is sitting here watching me as I write this. Besides making sure I am using "proper English" (ugh!), she is making me copy and paste the school's policy on plagiarism and cheating from our handbook. She says, "Document that, April! Because plagiarizing a passage about plagiarism would be stupid!"* In case you are wondering what is going on (of course you are!), it seems a little bird told our teacher that somebody might have approached me about letting said somebody copy my English paper. "April, we teachers have to be savvy about the Internet these days, since so many youngsters use it to be dishonest! So I came across your blog. Rest assured that I am not planning on reading it, as you and your friends need a safe space to express yourselves. But I must insist that you post our official school policy on academic honesty. And keep in mind that even if you are the one sharing your work with a friend, you are considered just as guilty." I started to say that since my blog is a place for my own free expression, I shouldn't have to, but she cut me off with, "I imagine your mother doesn't know about your blog, and that she might find it interesting?" So, here I am, copying and pasting.
Academic Honesty
Real learning is enhanced when you think independently and honestly. It is expected that you will demonstrate respect for the intellectual property rights of others and adhere to a code of honour in all evaluated activities.
Because classroom teachers are experts in evaluating the writing of their students, and because they are most familiar with the writing styles of their students, they are recognized as authorities in identifying plagiarism. When a situation involving suspected plagiarism arises, it is your responsibility to demonstrate the work to be your own. You must be prepared to orally defend all written assignments, including answering questions about content, ideas and resources.
Any information that is obtained from the Internet and/or other software programs and incorporated into your assignment must be properly documented.
Ask your teacher for the format she/he expects you to use when documenting the sources you have used to research and write your paper. The MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers (Fifth Edition) is available in the Library Resource Centre.
Plagiarism is
*By a strange coincidence, the R.P Boire Secondary School Policy on Plagiarism and Cheating is identical to the policy that appears in the student handbook for Thornhill Secondary School.
Academic Honesty
Real learning is enhanced when you think independently and honestly. It is expected that you will demonstrate respect for the intellectual property rights of others and adhere to a code of honour in all evaluated activities.
Because classroom teachers are experts in evaluating the writing of their students, and because they are most familiar with the writing styles of their students, they are recognized as authorities in identifying plagiarism. When a situation involving suspected plagiarism arises, it is your responsibility to demonstrate the work to be your own. You must be prepared to orally defend all written assignments, including answering questions about content, ideas and resources.
Any information that is obtained from the Internet and/or other software programs and incorporated into your assignment must be properly documented.
Ask your teacher for the format she/he expects you to use when documenting the sources you have used to research and write your paper. The MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers (Fifth Edition) is available in the Library Resource Centre.
Plagiarism is
- The use of ideas or thoughts of a person other than the writer without proper acknowledgement.
- The use of direct quotations, or of material paraphrased and/or summarized by the writer, without proper acknowledgement.
- The submission of an essay or assignment that has been written in part or in whole by someone else as one’s own.
- The submission of material that has been obtained from a computerized source, with or without minor modifications, as one’s own.
- The buying and/or selling of essays, assignments, or exam/test questions.
- Submission of the same piece of work in more than one course without the permission of the teacher.
- The preparation of an essay or assignment by someone other than the stated writer.
- Allowing one’s essay or assignment to be copied by someone else.
- The unauthorized giving or receiving of information or assistance during an examination or a test.
- The teacher will interview the student about the incident.
- Parents or legal guardians will be contacted.
- The department head and/or administrator will be informed.
- Oral and/or written warning or reprimand.
- A make-up assignment or re-write may be given.
- A failing grade or mark of zero.
- Suspension.
*By a strange coincidence, the R.P Boire Secondary School Policy on Plagiarism and Cheating is identical to the policy that appears in the student handbook for Thornhill Secondary School.
45 Comments:
At 10:32 AM, April Patterson said…
jeremy & alex, i didn't get a chance 2 read the last 2 comments fr. last nite till now cuz of our english teacher hovering ovr me. i m sorry 2 hear abt that little accident w/alex's knee in a bad place.
i found out that the cheerleading squad's doing their tryouts to replace charmaine lebuke this afternoon rite after school. so i'm gonna go 2 that. i told mr. hi perspastick that if i don't make squad i'll def go out 4 yrbook, & i'd let him know rite aftr tryouts this afternoon. he nearly knocked off my head waving his arms around an' tellin' me how yrbook wd look much better on my uni apps than cheerleading, but then he was like, "best of luck, whatevr u decide."
btw, i was talking 2 mom yesterday abt letting me quit the store or @ least cut way, way back (like mayb only work on wkends), so i cd do an xtracurricular, & she was all, "no, april! working teaches u responsibility! xtracurriculars r just yung primates in close contact 4 2 many hrs a day!" i was really bummed & i told shannon abt it in an e-mail, cuz she told me it's ok 2 send her e-mail even if i think i m being boring (again). she wrote back, all, "april, i think i can help."
so 1st thing this morning the phone rang. i picked it up, and it was mrs. lake asking 4 mom. mrs. lake told mom that as mom's designated social worker she was insisting that mom allow me the time necessary 2 pursue an xtracurricular activity. mom was pissed, but afraid 2 say no. isn't that cube? thanx, shan!
gotta go,
apes
At 10:51 AM, April Patterson said…
hey, maybe we can shop this wkend, at mboro centre. :)
apes
At 11:54 AM, April Patterson said…
yeh, i know u r a smart girl & wdn't b in this sitch if it weren't 4 "she who must not b named". all u did was help a friend. & if it weren't 4 u, lirpa wd still b followin' me around. that's if i didn't disappear al2gethr after turning back in2 an embryo & separating back in2 a sperm an' an egg (ew!).
i m sorry i made that "arrogant witch" comment. i got really jellus when u were goin' on an' on @ horny tim's abt how u have s00per power in yr lips & u'd sumday b a way more powerful witch than, well, we won't say her name, will we?!?! i know i'll nevr have special powers.
cd u mayb help me practice sum cheer routinez during lunch?
apes
At 12:08 PM, Anonymous said…
april, i got sum viddy frum the skool library on the cheers, we uze @r.p. boire. we can uze it 2 help u prepare. there’s 1 like:
drink ‘em up,
drink ‘em up,
drink ‘em up,
tigers
nous buvons for r.p.boire.
nous buvons for r.p.boire.
driiink!
At 12:15 PM, April Patterson said…
i m posting fr. the media rm @ the library. jeremy, alex, becky, an' i r viewing sum cheer vidz & then i'm gonna rehearse in the gym.
alex sez, "my mom is such a freak abt xmas clothes."
jeremy sez, "alex, wd u mind modeling that last outfit 4 me?"
apes
At 12:34 PM, Anonymous said…
gerald, goin' 2 the gym now w/the notes april tuk n the library. meet us there.
At 12:41 PM, Anonymous said…
april, ok. i’m back @the library media rm. 4 the cheer, u raise ur arms 2getha, then apart like a ‘t’ for tigers, then u do a split, & say, “go tigers.” oh & alexandra sed she unnerstandz it wuz an accident wen u kicked her n the head. she rilly didn’t mean 2 call u thoze namez. she’z feelin’ kinda bad ‘bout it now.
At 12:46 PM, Anonymous said…
april, more frum the media rm. the cheer iz;
tigers, rawr (like a tiger growl)
tigers, rawr
r.p. boire (make it sound kinda like the tiger growl)
tigers, rawr
then u jump up with ur legz out & touch ur hands 2 ur feet. oh, then u land back on ur feet. not like the way u did it b4. i hope u don’t bruise ez.
At 12:51 PM, Anonymous said…
april, just 2 let u know. cheerleaderz do not uze thoze kinda wordz, evn wen they fall down. i got an icepack frum nurse horbreth 4u. she sed, “wut girl ru torturing now jeremy?” i sed, “april patterson” & left. i am on my way 2 the gym. cu there.
At 12:58 PM, Anonymous said…
alexandra, ‘course geranium showz up just az lunch break iz ovah. he sed he wud work personally 2 help hiz little april flower b a more impressive cheerleader this aftahnoon b4 tryouts. i can hardly w8.
At 1:01 PM, howard said…
Becky,
I want you to know my great news. Fiona Brass and I are engaged. We are going to make it official as soon as we can get the legal paperwork handled. I am so in love. I thought I was in love with Brenda Starr, but I now I know the real thing and it is so much different. I proposed to her this morning. She said yes. I was so happy I howled for a long time. It would have been a perfect moment except right after I proposed, Belmont III attacked me. I have quite a few scratches now, but Belmont III has some pretty vicious bites on him. That disgusting cat’s not going to stop me from marrying my true love. I am so happy.
On the way to work I was singing (music to “Maria” from West Side Story):
The most beautiful smell I ever smelled:
Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona . . .
All the beautiful smells of the world in a single smell . .
Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona . . .
Fiona!
I've just licked a girl named Fiona,
And suddenly that name
Will never be the same
To me.
Fiona!
I've just sniffed a girl named Fiona,
And suddenly I yell
How wonderful a smell
Can be!
Fiona!
Say it loud and there's dogs all barking,
Say it soft and it's territorial marking.
Fiona,
I'll never stop smelling Fiona!
The most beautiful smell I ever smelled.
Fiona.
The police pulled me over. I said, “Officer, are you pulling me over because I was singing with the windows open on my car?” He said, “No, sir. The singing was lovely. You shouldn’t drive a car with your head out the window.” I said, “But if you keep your head inside the window, your ears don’t flap in the wind.” He said, “A warning. Next time a ticket.” I don’t know how I ever stood to drive with my head inside the car before. It is so much better with your head out. I will have to remember to keep it in when people are around.
When I got to work, Fiona was already there (she works the morning shift) and had told Tracey Mayes. Tracey was, shall we say, a little ticked off. She said, “You’re promised to April. You can’t marry Fiona.” I said, “But Fiona and I are so in love.” And I gave Fiona a big romantic kiss. Tracey’s reaction after that is difficult to describe. She was so happy to see how much I love Fiona, she went right to the washroom.
Anyway, first day on the new job, and I have a most excellent fiancée. Oh, I hope you’ll sing at the wedding. Say you will. Say you will.
Howard
At 1:03 PM, Anonymous said…
yo, april, i saw u practicing when i walked by the gym. u looked cute in that lil skirt, esp. when u fell an' i caut a glimpse of yr underwear. i nevr xpected u 2 b a thong girl! u curse like a sailor, 2. i luv that in a gurl!
ted
At 1:14 PM, Anonymous said…
april, wen u fell, i promise ur underwear did not show 4 v.v. long.
alexandra, wuz that thong underwear n that last outfit ur mom picked 4u? just curious.
At 1:24 PM, April Patterson said…
jeremy, that's a relief abt the underwear not showing 4 long. sorry i used so many bad words, peeps. & thank gawd alex tipped me off 2 that waxing salon that does such amazing kini waxes!
thanx 4 helpin' me, jeremy, alex, an' becks. jeez, this cheering thing is harder than i thot. way diff fr. the dancing routinez becks an' i made up when we were in 4evah.
ger is giving me lotsa suggestions, but i think i m just getting more an' more nervus.
apes
At 2:44 PM, Anonymous said…
Dearest April,
Please meet me in the wrestling room at 3 pm. I will help you learn some of the "secret cheers" before tryouts. Knowing these secret cheers will enable you to make the squad for sure.
Sincerely yours, Gerald
At 3:10 PM, April Patterson said…
sorry abt mentioning the waxing thing, alex. u were winking so much when u sed not 2 mention it that i thot u did want me 2 mention it. or sumthin'.
it turns out, ger wasn't gonna show me secret cheers @ all. he just wanted 2 c my thong. hmph! & u r rite abt the cheerleading undiez, but i don't have ne. & i totally didn't think this thru when i dressed this morning! neway, tryouts start @ 3:15. wish me luck!
apes
p.s. howard, mayB u oughta w8 until u've been human 4 longer b4 u make such a big decision.
At 4:12 PM, Anonymous said…
april, wow! that wuz rilly brave of u 2 make that kinda statement. i think u did gr8. i think every guy that wuz there iz n complete agreement that ur routines were the best of the bunch. if we were votin', u wud definitely be n the squad & we wuld recommend that all the cheerleaderz change 2 ur tryout outfit. 2 bad the cheerleading judgez r all women.
oh, shannon lake wuz here & she liked ur routine 2. i think she got sum picturez 2 show u of the flips & stuff.
At 4:18 PM, April Patterson said…
omg. well, that was embarrassing. thanx 4 the hugz afterwards, alex an' eva. cheerleading coach sed if they were looking for the "most creative cheering", i'd b a shoe-in. ger sez he still luvs me. ted sed he wants 2 marry me. ger was like, "back off, april an' her thong r mine!"
mr. hi perspastick was totally w8ing 4 me afterwards, ready 2 welcome me 2 yrbook. ::sigh::
neway, dunc & i r going snowboarding 2 take my mind off all of this. then he's buying me coffee & tim balls.
apes
At 4:35 PM, Anonymous said…
april, i'm sorry u didn't make the squad 2. i liked ur routine the best.
eh, shannon lake tol' me 2 let u know that she gave the picturez she tuk of u tryin' out 2 mr. perspastick 2 put n the yrbook. so u have sum gud picturez alreddy 2 start off.
At 4:36 PM, howard said…
Becky and April,
I know you might be concerned that my decision to marry Fiona Brass may be a little rash. But if there is one thing I learned when I was a dog, it was that smells are very important. There was one day when I was a dog that I smelled a most unusual smell of a bitch (female dog). When I smelled that smell I could think of nothing but having her to bear my pups. It called to me like nothing I had ever felt before. Every part of me yearned to be with her. I would have done anything to get out of your garage to be with that bitch, even bite you. I tried everything, but couldn’t get out; and I was humping everything in sight for relief. I could hear and smell other male dogs going to her house and I was barking out, “No! She’s mine!” When the smell finally went I away, I knew that she could have had me, but she chose another. I swore right then and there if someone had the right smell, I would not hesitate again. I hope you can be happy for me. Whenever Fiona goes on her break from the restaurants, we have had a few make out sessions. Gordon discovered us one time and said, “Das ist ekelhaft. Ich denke, daß ich krank sein werde.” Then he left. I can tell he approves of our union. I hope you will too.
Howard
At 4:38 PM, April Patterson said…
omg, is there, like, a blooperz page in the yrbook?
thanx, peeps, 4 the nice wordz.
apes
At 4:43 PM, April Patterson said…
howard, i don't wanna hurt yr feelingz, but i ran what gordo sed thru google language tools, an' it turnz out gordo was all, "that is disgusting. i think that i will be ill."
1 of the reasonz becky & i r worried abt u is u r going thru something rite now where u don't realize yr dog traits r gonna change. u think b/c smellz r way imp 2 u now, they will alwayz b way imp. but that mite b diff really soon.
apes
p.s. dunc is all, "put that phone away & get back 2 the snowboarding!"
At 5:05 PM, howard said…
April,
Look at the marriages around you. If everyone you know that is married or has been married had selected their mates by scent, then things would be a lot different. Your vision can be fooled and your chosen one can tell you lies without you knowing. But with smells, you know your true love. Tracey and Gordon Mayes are a good example. Would Tracey ever pick Gordon based on appearance? Obviously no. Tracey clearly had the opportunity to get a good whiff of him (while close dancing at a high school dance I understand) and made her choice based on smell. It’s the best way. You should give Gerald a good sniff the next time you see him and smell if he is the right guy for you.
Snowboarding sounds like fun. Gordon sent me out to use the snow blower on the side walk. He said I had to get it done before your dad gets here, for some reason. I tried rolling in the snow a few times. It’s really a lot colder when you don’t have fur.
Howard
At 5:19 PM, Anonymous said…
Dear April,
I thought you were an excellent cheerleader. The image of you doing the splits in your thong will fuel my nightly fantasies for many, many months.
Wow. I am so in love with you.
Devotedly, Gerald
P.S.--You will not believe what some of the hockey players are saying about your performance, April! Wow. Now I am notorious for having the girlfriend who dared to show her booty at cheerleading tryouts. Wow. Thank you, April. That might even be better than if you had actually made the squad.
P.P.S.--You should stop wearing those gray slacks. They make your butt look large and encrusted with cellulite. I now know that this is not in fact true. Wow. Maybe you can roll up your uniform skirt really short, and then wear the thong under that? Wow.
At 5:31 PM, April Patterson said…
i know, becks, i know, i need 2 have my hed xamined! u c, i totally need 2 do a wash. it was betw the thong an' gag undiez u got me, w/"spank me" on the bum & "gig" on the front. i guess i shda put sum shorts on under my skirt, but i just wasn't thinking v. well 2day!
howard, i think becks is rite. what if u got engaged but planned on having a loooooong engagement. like until u r totally used 2 b-ing human again?
dunc an' i r at horny tim's now. we had so much fun snowboarding, i've almost blocked out my tryouts.
ger, i know the pants r unflattering. i need 2 do my laundry more often!
apes
At 5:31 PM, Anonymous said…
alexandra, i thot i wuz goin' w/u & ur parents 2 oakville 2c the milton icehawks play the oakville blades 2nite? have the planz changed? my mom iz on a date w/my future dad 2nite, so if we hafta "study" then we cud c ottawa & have the house 2 ourselvez. we cud get a lotta "studyin'" done w/o my mom interruptin'.
At 5:48 PM, howard said…
Becky and April,
I cannot wait. When you are as in love as much as I am with Fiona, you know that every moment of separation is time lost. I think you will have to admit that there is not a single woman in Milborough like Fiona Brass.
Becky, I don’t understand what you smelled about her. When I sniff Fiona all I smell is love. Well, there is the sauerkraut, too, but that’s from working at the restaurant. Anyway, when you smell love, then does it really matter if she can’t bear me any pups? I keep thinking I would love to have some cute, small, furry, little yappers to follow me around and chew on my fur, that I can wrap my whole body around at night. But then I realize that no humans can do that for me, so that is not a reason to reject Fiona.
April, when have you known a long engagement to help? Think of the people you know who have had a long engagement. Did it make their marriage any better? One thing I learned as a dog was, when you see the food, you better eat it first or someone else will. I love Fiona too much to take any chances some other guy will eat her up, I mean…marry her.
Tracey asked me to clean the floors in the restaurant. Food that has fallen on the floor used to taste really good to me, but not anymore. I think I will use a broom from now on.
Howard
At 5:51 PM, Anonymous said…
Dearest April,
I think Howard is the right idea. After I got a look at you at cheerleader tryouts, I knew you were the only woman for me. Let's get married! I looked it up on the internet and we can get married if you are pregnant. This is no problem because I know you are the bitch I want to bear my pups. I am pretty sure my mom would babysit our pups while you are at school, but I think you will have to quit yearbook.
Will you be mine?
Devotedly, Gerald
At 5:53 PM, April Patterson said…
becks, yeh, i hope it doesn't take me 2 long 2 live this down. what u don't know abt morley manderson, the guy-cheerleader i was standing on, is he was whispering all this pornographic stuff 2 me abt what he'd like 2 do 2 my thong! i didn't mean 2 kick him, but it's hard 2 concentrate on balancing when sum1 is talkin' dirty 2 u like that. esp while yr bf is watching u & winking & lickin' his lips! omg, i've gotta lie down!
apes
p.s. ger, do u mean u still think i'm pregnant or u wanna get me pregnant? ::confused::
At 6:09 PM, howard said…
Becky,
I sniffed and smelled Fiona until I could sniff no more. There is not a bad smell to her. She’s perfect. I will never find a woman better. Well, actually, you smell as good as Fiona, but we already had our talk about that.
As for Gerald, his problem is clear. He says he wants to marry April after getting “a look” at her. If he had sniffed her, he may have a different opinion. It is also very important for April to sniff Gerald. They should not unite until they discover if their smells are compatible.
A puppy would be a nice thing to have, but first I have to find a way to get rid of Fiona’s cat Belmont III. It would be very difficult for Fiona and me to have wedded bliss with that evil, disgusting and vile creature looking at me and waiting for its first chance to scratch me and steal my food.
As for your final point, I will still have time to spend with you. Fiona and I aren’t running off anywhere. We are going to stay in Milborough, where I can see you every day, if you want. After all, nobody scratches me behind the ears like you do, not even Fiona.
Howard
At 6:11 PM, Anonymous said…
alexandra, mom iz alreddy gone. she left us supper tho. a lot of ur favourites & a fresh pot of coffee.
At 6:16 PM, April Patterson said…
howard, fiona has had that cat 4ever. she is v. v. attached 2 him & is def. a cat person. u mite wanna think hard abt whether u can marry a cat person, cuz this totally mite be dealbreaker.
omg! eva, do u think mayB we can get shannon 2 delete those pix? i wish she hadn't taken them! i know ppl have sum, er, imagez burnt in2 their brainz rite now, but if there rn't pix floatin' around, it will b ez-er 4 peeps 2 4get!
howard, ger smellz divine!
apes
At 6:23 PM, howard said…
April,
This is an important decision. Have you smelled Gerald all over in every place where he emits an odor? Only then can you be sure.
Howard
At 6:45 PM, howard said…
alex & eva,
I am glad someone understands. If you ever decide to commit to someone, be sure to check their smell.
I just realized I don't have a picture of my beloved Fiona. April may have one, since she and Fiona are related.
Howard
At 7:32 PM, April Patterson said…
howard! stop and think 4 a second. can u even remember how u felt b4 became a dog? lemme refresh yr memory abt sumthing. u usta think smellin' peeps' stinky places was gross. sumday, u will think so again. i guarantee it! so, no, i ain't sniffin' no buttholez, nope, nope, nope!
omg, eva! that's just wrong! we can't let shannon have that on her desktop! sum1, pls help me!
oh. fiona.
apes
At 7:34 PM, Anonymous said…
Dear Howard,
I have smelled my angelic April amaryllis in every place she emits an odor. I was pleased to discover that the only place she emits an odor is on the insides of her wrists. She smells very good there. Like the bottle of "J.Lo Still" I gave her last Christmas.
I like this smell, so we are all set to get married. Now we just have to get some pups in the oven, as they say. Then a judge will give us permission to be legally wed.
Sincerely yours, Gerald
At 7:36 PM, April Patterson said…
there's a problem with yr plan. it's a problem i can can xpress in an equation:
dad + .45 + shovel = dead ger
i think we'll hafta w8 like we orig. planned.
apes
At 7:54 PM, Anne said…
Well, the J.Lo perfume smells better than Britney Spears' "Curious" that Kimmi Lasalle always wore. April gotz class, word. :-)
Ted Bartlesnoff, if ur reading this, ur Drakkar gives me killa migranes even n a 40-meter radius. & stop leaving me those X-rated text messages, puh-leeze!
NEone up 4 the Roller-Rama 2nite? Just let me know, thanx!
Vicks
At 8:12 PM, April Patterson said…
eva, yeah, that's what i'm afraid of.
alex, yeah, i know!
vicki, i'm afraid i'm not in the rite mood 4 roller-rama 2nite, but def. another time.
apes
At 8:15 PM, Anonymous said…
Don't worry, April. I found the pics and deleted them. And emptied the recycle bin on the computer. And permanently deleted them from Shan's camera. 'Cause I just know that somehow, some way, I was gonna end up getting in trouble for those pics!
Blair
At 9:05 PM, April Patterson said…
phew, i m relieved that shannon didn't wanna use the pics that way. now i feel a lil silly 4 thinking she wda done that.
apes
At 10:42 PM, Luann DeGroot said…
Apes, your English teacher might know all about plagarism, but u should ask her if she knows the definition of irony!
Vicki, I might c u @ the roller-rama tonight if I can get my friend Bernice to go.
Last time we went, there was this really cute guy there, so we sk8d by him backwards, so we could talk 2 him and show off R moves @ the same time, u know? But we weren't watching what we were doing, so we got R sk8s hooked, and we went down in a heap, and then Bernice punched me in the stomach with her other sk8. (Oof!) The guy sk8d over to us, and he was like, "R U OK?", only the way he said it made it sound like he was wondering more if we were OK mentally, than physically. And we were both like, "No, we're fine!" But we could hardly get untangled. NEway, he helped us up, but he stayed clear of us the rest of the nite. I guess he was afraid we might crash into him or something. Bernice was so embarrassed, I haven't been able to get her back there since.
Luann
At 1:05 AM, howard said…
Becky,
I see from your posts that you have been worried about my marrying Fiona Brass. Well, worry no more. The engagement is off. I have spent the last several hours in the Emergency Room. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.
I went back to Fiona’s house after work and Belmont III was waiting for me. The minute I opened the door, that evil, disgusting, vile creature leapt up at my face with claws aimed right for my eyes. I barely had time to get my paws…um hands up to defend myself and I still got a nasty gash across my muzzle…um cheek. The force of the attack caused me to lose my balance and as I landed on the ground, Belmont III was on top of me slashing and yowling. Belmont III grabbed my face in his paws and started kicked me with his hind legs. I rolled over onto Belmont III and was about to give him a vicious bite, when Fiona came in and started shrieking at us. I straightened right up and so did Belmont III. Fiona said, “I can’t stand this constant fighting between you two. One of you is going to have to go.” I thought for sure it would be Belmont III, since Fiona and I were engaged. But Fiona pointed at me and said, “I’m sorry Howard. I have had a cat named Belmont with me for as long as I have lived in Milborough. You have to leave.” I said, “But we have true love. And this is just a mangy, disgusting, evil, putrid cat.” Fiona said, “I’m sorry. I have made my decision. You have to go.” So, I started to leave and just as I was at the top of the staircase outside Fiona’s house, Belmont III jumped after me and pushed me down the stairs. After I regained consciousness, I somehow managed to make my way to the hospital. They said I had a concussion and I also got 6 stitches where Belmont III scratched me across the face. I should be really depressed now, but I saw a commercial for dog biscuits on the television and it made me instantly happy. I am pretty sore though.
Howard
At 1:24 AM, Anonymous said…
canucks 3 senators 2 decided in the fourth round of a shootout. fantastic game. it really helped alexandra calm down aftah she saw that picture of fiona brass. alexandra duzn’t unnerstand that howard duzn’t rilly have gud taste n women. i remembah wen he wuz d8ing kortney krelbutz. she wuz pretty scary. i wuz tempted 2 show alexandra a picture of her, but that prolly wud have set her off again. i walked alexandra back 2 her house aftah mom came home w/future dad. that accidental kneeing injury frum yestahday didn’t botha me @all 2nite.
At 2:28 AM, howard said…
Becky,
I would like that. There is no heat at my place until Monday. I'll be right over.
Howard
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