April's Real Blog

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Cya, Liz!

Dad an' I just got back fr taking Liz 2 the bus station. We went 2 bkfast rite after, even tho I M still way, way embarrassed abt last nite's game. Sorry I didn't post more, but after that last post of mine, Dad actually took my phone away & sed "yung ladee, civilized ppl do not make NE phone callz @ this hour!" Can U believe that shizzit?!?! Alex, Jeremy, Alex's fam. I am sooooo sorry abt my Dad ruining the game 4 U last nite. Gah, so much for the idea of my dad & Alex's dad b-coming budz. Seemed like a good enuf idea on paper. & OMG, Dad decided we needed, like, a 2-hr breakfast 2, like, "reconnect". Aarghers.

Paul: Pls try not 2 worry abt what I'm gonna say now. Liz sent me a txt fr the bus & she sed she wanted 2 let U know she just doesn't like 2 talk abt certain thingz in Dad's hearing. Cuz, well, U'd have 2 know our dad.

NEhoodles, this morning, brite & early, we took Lizzie 2 the bus station. Dad kept complaining the whole way abt how tired he was fr. staying out 2 l8 & being "tired ovr". Whatevs. So, just 2 hear NEthing other than Dad's blahblahblah, I was all, "How much longer will U B working up north, Elizabeth?" I have no idea Y I was being all formal like that. I think 2 much xposure 2 Dad hurt my brain. Liz was, like, "A couple more yrs, I guess." & I'm not sure Y I even asked this part, but again, my brain was hurt: "What wd happen if U fell in luv w/a guy fr. up there? Wd U move away 4ever?" Liz cast a sidewayz glance @ Dad, mouthed "Shut UP", & then sed, "April I can't answer that question. B-sidez...I haven't fallen in luv with NE1." We were pulling in2 the parking lot of the station, then, parking the 'vASSe, but it wasn't until we'd parked & walked Liz 2 her bus that she added her "...yet." Which was a bit odd, cuz by then, I think Dad & I had 4gotten what we'd been talking abt.

So, Paul, congrats on the pic & bio Steph the web designer added 2 our fam's page. U lk v. v. cute in that pic! U R rite, the pic of me is an old 1 & I wish Steph wd replace it w/a more recent 1. If U R interested, we have a fam foto album. The second & third fotos fr. the left, on the top row, R more recent pix of me. Fr. mayB a yr or so ago, I think.

Becks, U never sed whether U were in 4 our girls' day @ the moviez! Alex, Eva, Vicks, & I will B in front of the multiplex @ noon if U R interested. We hope so. Remember, U get the pick the flick. & also, we R not letting U pay 4 yr ticket or snax. Our treat.

Yr new studio soundz v. v. cube. Tho, like Jeremy, I hope Dr. Ted's sketchiness doesn't cause trub.

Apes

37 Comments:

  • At 11:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Boozhoo, Paul! I'm glad April explained a little about the situation this morning. Please don't be discouraged. By the way, Steph the web designer put up the picture and bio as a favour to me. I wanted to signal to the world that there is a "man in my life". I cannot wait to see you again, sweet man!

    Liz

     
  • At 11:25 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    liz, mayB next time u talk 2 steph, u can ask her 2 put up a new april animated pic in "meet the pattersons". i m so sick of peeps thinking i'm, like, perma-12 cuzza that ol' pic. :(

    apes

     
  • At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOL, April! I'll try, but you know how busy Steph is, what w/dividing her time between helping Mom and her duties with the Johnston Institute, whatever it is exactly she does up there.

    God, traveling by bus is dull. :(

    Liz

     
  • At 11:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Liz, April, I must say it was interesting to meet your Dad yesterday. I can't say I blame you for getting a job far, far away, Liz.

    I must say Howard seems to be in a strange mood today. Distracted. Maybe I'll take him out to lunch?

    Marjee

     
  • At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Marj, that better not be a date! I mean, you'd tell me if it were. Being like we're all open & stuff.

    Nardo

     
  • At 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Nardo, your flashes of possessiveness are kinda cute. No, it's not a date. Just pals. If Howard even wants to have lunch, that is.

    Marjee

     
  • At 11:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    dunky-wunky, i m so bummed our planz got so messed up this holiday break. my 'rents r taking me up 2 ottawa 2day 2 get me moved in2 the catholic military reform school. i think i m gonna cry the whole way up. :(

    kiMMi <3 <3 <3

     
  • At 12:06 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I hope you have fun with the girls at the movies. Marjee Mahaha has asked me to lunch with her. No, it's not a date, I think. Marjee has her moments where she is really into Maynard and she has other moments where she... Anyway, I am pretty sure she does not consider it to be a date.

    Howard K.

     
  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    so, becks just got here & we r deciding what movie 2 c. so many 2 choose from!

    apes

     
  • At 12:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, lemme know wen u get back frum the movies. i need sum1 2 lemme n2 ur new studio 2 move n & set up the equipment. i am jealous u get 2 spend tyme w/alexandra, but i know she needz her girl tyme 2. mebbe i shud have sum guy tyme. i cud call up geranium or duncan & c if they wanna do sumthin'. just kiddin'. that wud b pure torture 2b alone w/thoze guyz.

     
  • At 1:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Boozhoo (Hello).

    I read your writings about your sister and dropping her off at the Tundra Trails bus station. The bus trip to Thunder Bay is about 21 hours long. Then she has to change to the bus going from Thunder Bay to Spruce Narrows, which takes about 5 hours. I believe she told me that Gary Crane usually picks her up at Spruce Narrows to take her to Mtigwaki, because there is no bus service between the 2 towns. I am sure that she will be pretty tired by the time she finally arrives in Mtigwaki sometime tomorrow evening.

    I do not worry about what you said about your sister saying she had not fallen in love with anyone…yet. We have been dating for only 2 months now, and although I know that I have definitely fallen in love with her, I also know that I have competition for her attention. When someone, who lives such an amazing life as your sister, is not engaged, it is natural to expect more than one man to notice.

    It is too soon for me to hope that your sister feels the same way about me as I do about her. All I can do is try to see her as often as I can and communicate with her as much as I can and then wait and see if her feelings for me change. I think love from your sister will be worth the time and effort. I still love my sweet girl, even though she is not ready to reciprocate…yet.

    I have noticed your sister does sometimes complete sentences after long periods of time. But since I have a tendency to stutter when I get nervous, I have no room to complain. I think it is nice that we both have speech defects.

    Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
    Constable Paul Wright

     
  • At 1:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Allie, you're not answering your cell phone so I'm telling you here since your, apparently, always reading this thing. (Seems immature to me but whatever you little grade 9ers like.)

    I was walking downtown today with my friends. We were all wearing our knit hats, or tuques, because it's so cold today that you have to wear it in the car even with the heat on. That freak, Dr. P, walked up to me, in front of all my friends, and started talking to me about last night. He noticed my tugue and started going off on that. I was wearing my RPI tugue, with Puckman on the front. He's like, "That's such a nice tugue, it's very important to keep your head warm. You know your brain is in your head. Unless, you're unfortunate enough to be sitting on it," and started laughing. It's so gross when he starts laughing with his tongue sticking out. It's so cold out that he started salivating. It immediately froze at his feet. Then he's like, "Boy, it sure is cold today, huh? You could freeze an egg out here!" My friend Robin said, "Uh, Dr. P, we have to go." That freak says, "Oh, please, call me 'Dr. Patterson'. I'm trying to get people to call me 'Dr. Patterson' again. No one's caught on." and we started to walk away and that freak says, "Yet!"

    Miranda

     
  • At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    miranda, fyi alexandra iz @the cinema. oh, a "toque" is a hat, eh? i don't know wut these "tuques" or "tugues" r ur talkin' 'bout. stop me. i am startin' 2 sound like my mom.

     
  • At 2:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    miranda, i am so sounding like my mom now.

    neway, "togue" iz mainer for lake trout, salvelinus namaycush. "togue" iz pronounced "toe-g", w/a soft "g".

    "togue" r not 2b confused w/the "toque", a knitted cap w/no brim. the "toque" (pronounced "too-k") iz associated w/the french canadian voyagers who travelled the rivers & lakes of the north country n the 1800's. the english spelling of "toque" iz "tuque" & iz pronounced the same way.

     
  • At 2:29 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    so, becks chose the family stone as our movie. it was pretty gd. we r @ the food court now. becks sez she needs sum "edgier" outfits in her wardrobe, cuz certain gigz & foto shoots will require that. we r gonna go 2 hot topic & vicks is gonna b, like, our "edgy look" guru.

    miranda, alex sez she'll b in touch "when i'm gd & ready & not a second sooner." eva sez the movie was v. interesting. vicks sez dermot mulroney iz cute "in a puppy kinda way." lol.

    apes

     
  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    it's true, i was chicken! i almost went 4 it, but there was this usher who gave me a s00per mean look & I cd swear he knew what we were thinking.

    apes

     
  • At 3:46 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Oh, man. This break suxs so much Im looking 4ward 2 skool starting on Mon. Even tho Im prolly in more trbl 'cos I sumhow missed all the exams.

    So on New Years Day Mr M starts getting all these fone calls fr his nabes complaining abt his noisy NYE party. Mr M keeps saying there was no party here. Hes giving me stinkeye but he cant find ne evidence of ne party 'cos Howie did such a gr8 cleanup job. An' I replaced the vodka w/ a bottle fr my 'rents stash an' Kimmi replaced the Bacardi w/ a bottle fr Mrs L's stash so I thot evrything was cube.

    An' then Im sleeping an' Mr M is in my face yelling u drank my Dom Perignon u little *****. I didnt no what he was talking abt an' then I remembered that I got a bottle of champagne out 4 me an' Kimmi just b4 midnite but I 4got abt it aft peeps asked me 2 put the countdown @ Nathan Phillips Square on the tv. I guess sum1 else drank it. I didnt want 2 tell Mr M abt the party so I said I drank it @ midnite while watching tv an' playing on his 'puter an' that Id pay him back. An' he goes, uve got $400 u little *****? $400. Oh, man.

    He goes, yr dad told me I hafta hire a temp 2 conduct a traffic study @ the Credit Union but the temps all keep quitting on me an' I dont want yr dad 2 give me a bad performance review 'cos I want 2 b a manager sumday, so guess what u r going 2 b my temp an' u r going 2 luv working 4 me, u start aft Court on Tues.

    So I worked fr 8 am - 8 pm weekdays an' 7 am - 1 pm 2day doing the traffic study. Oh man oh man oh man it was so uncube. I had 2 wear my Court suit an' sit in a chair w/ a clicker an' a notebook an' count evry1 who came in2 the Credit Union. I cldnt talk 2 ne1 an' Mr M "strongly discouraged" me fr taking lunch or bathroom breaks. Aft the 1st day I decided it was a bad idea 2 have breakfast. Aft the 2nd day I decided it was a bad idea 2 have ne liquids aft 9 pm the nite b4. An' peeps kept saying stoopid things 2 me like, r u still there, an', did u remember 2 count me. An' sum brats stood in fr of me an' made faces @ me while their 'rents were in line. Worst of all was that ***** Malkmus, he kept coming ovr 2 me an' saying rnt u having fun Dunky an' Id hafta nod yes 2 him.

    I didnt get off work in time 2 c Kimmi b4 she left I hope she likes Catholic military skool better than I like the Mboro Credit Union and that psycho Mr M.

    My 'rents r back 2day. I guess Ill hafta stay in 2nite an' listen 2 there boring stories an' look @ there boring fotos.

    Oh, yeah, I almost 4got. Dr P took me 2 Court on Tues. We werent there v long. My lawyer was skiing in Switzerland so he sent a letter 2 the Court 2 remand me 2 Jan. 31.

    L8r.

     
  • At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dearest Friends,

    I am so thrilled to hear that my friend Becky is moving in just two houses down from me! Wow. Now we are going to be able to spend a lot more time together. We are going to be best chums. Maybe we can start a club just for the kids on our street. My brother can't be in it, though.

    Becky and I have always had our differences, but now I think we are going to be really, really close. Maybe even as close as Dr. Patterson and my April flower used to be.

    Becky, come over to my house as soon as you can! I am already getting started on our club t-shirts. I drew the design during my bathroom time this morning.

    I have to go now. Our water break is over.

    Sincerely yours, Gerald

     
  • At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, i am so glad i don't live near geranium, so he duzn't wanna invite me 2bn hiz club. i wud get beat up if i wore 1 of thoze shirts newhere.

    i got ur equipment set up n ur studio. it tuk awhile cuz i kept gettin' lost gettin' there. ur mom let m n & kinda pointed n the general direction where it wuz. she wuz rilly specific 'bout how she did not wunt me 2 disturb her & creepy mccauley n celebrating her new house. it wuzn't a problem. 1ce u get 2 ur studio u can't hear thoze 2. but u can hear them mosta the way ovah there. they r loud, eh? how did u evah sleep n ur old place?

    neway, ur stuff is hooked up & i tested it 4 sound. ur new place iz sweet. it shud b a gud place 2 practice & u know mebbe have a party or 2, if ur 'rents evah go outa town again.

     
  • At 5:20 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I am so-so at tennis. But it might be fun to play with you.

    I had an interesting lunch with Marjee. After we gave our orders, she launched into, “So Howard. You’re in a strange mood today. You seem distracted today. What’s up?” I said, “Is this reason why you asked me to lunch, so you could pump for questions?” Marjee said, “Yes. Is there a problem with that? You’ve been acting strange ever since Liz was in the shop yesterday.” I told her that I was a little depressed that you were not going to be able to stay with me. Marjee said, “What does that have to do with Liz?” I said, “Why does it have to be about Liz?” Marjee said, “Because you started acting distracted when she was in the shop.” I said, “Well. If you have to know? Yesterday was the first day I had seen Elizabeth Patterson since I attacked her last summer. I have been worried Fiona Brass was right about that Patterson allure she was talking about.”

    Marjee said, “Oh that. Well, that’s probably true. I notice it whenever she is in town. I started that big fight with Maynard over the holidays, just to keep him away from Milborough while Liz was here. Of course, I made up with Maynard right after she left. So, do you think you are in love with Liz Patterson?” I said, “No. I am not in love with Elizabeth Patterson. That would be a disaster. Can you imagine, with all those men falling for her. It must affect her personally in some way, knowing she can have any man she wants. Why should she care for any man, when she can have any man? I doubt she could ever really fall in love with anyone.”

    Marjee said, “It must be nice to get any guy you want. But you’re gay. It shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

    I said, “I don’t think it matters if you are gay. Let me give you an example--my friend Dennis North. He is as gay as can be. A few years ago, he told me he had been asked to teach a girl some dancing so she could show off at a wedding in front of her ex-boyfriend. Of course, I did not know at the time, the girl was Elizabeth Patterson. Well, I saw Dennis shaken to the core by this girl. He said to me, ‘I know I’m gay Howard, but there’s something about this girl. I can’t wait for the next time she asks me to go with her to a party.’ Then he was devastated when she told him she was moving to the north. He had gotten this whacked idea that they could do dance competitions. Now, I have met Elizabeth, I can understand what Dennis was thinking. I was hired to pretend attack her, but I remember the things going through my head right after I first met her. They were so unlike me.”

    Marjee said, “Like what?” I said, “Well, Elizabeth told me to stop hitting on her” and I found myself thinking, “Whoa!...I like a lady who hits back.” Then afterwards, I thought, “Whoa! Where did that come from? This is just a job, Howard. Keep it together.” Marjee said, “So, you were in love with her?” I said, “I don’t think anyone could call it love. It’s like an involuntary attraction, but it’s not love. When you think about it logically, Elizabeth is a nice woman, and reasonably pretty; but she’s not the kind of girl I think men would throw themselves at, or being willing to cross vast distances to reach, or want to divorce their wives for. She’s no Brenda Starr, after all. But for some reason, I guess this ‘Patterson allure’, she attracts men like she was a Brenda Starr.”

    Marjee said, “So this is the reason why you are distracted?” I said, “No. I already told you. It’s because Becky is moving into a new house and she’s not going to need me anymore.” Marjee said, “Right. It’s all about Becky. Right.” After that, our conversation denigrated into a description of how to give massages to men without making too much of a mess.

    Howard K.

     
  • At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, i am no gud @tennis, but if ur playin' w/howard, then mebbe u cud play mixed dubbles w/me & alexandra.

     
  • At 5:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Howard--

    I don't have your phone number or email address, so I thought I would come here to contact you. Rudy and I would like you to come over for dinner sometime in the next week. Don't worry, you don't have to cook. We are going to order take-out.

    We really, really want to talk to you.

    Candace

     
  • At 5:56 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    Don't be angry with me. Like I told Marjee, if I am attracted to Elizabeth Patterson it is against my will. I could feel it going away when she left town. I can't imagine how heterosexual men must feel when she's around.

    I should give Everett a call and let him know I forgive him for ditching me over New Years Eve. That's a good idea. Now, Elizabeth has left, I am feeling a lot more gay.

    Howard K.

     
  • At 6:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    alexandra, it’s a gud nite 4 hockey. toronto & edmonton @7. calgary & vancouver @10. both on cbc. plus no 1 iz gonna make ne hockey punz the whole tyme. ur place or mine?

     
  • At 6:04 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Candace,

    I can come over, but I am a little nervous about it. The last time we got together was not so good. Can Becky come too?

    Howard K.

     
  • At 6:15 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks, i luv tennis! & it's v. cube that u can have partiez!

    btw, i thot the outfits vicki helped u pick out were kewl.

    dunc, man, i m so sorry 2 hear things went so bad like that 4 u!

    apes

    p.s. howard, my dad cd prolly tell u storiez abt beating guys away fr. the front door, but that wd mean u'd hafta listen 2 my dad tell storiez. no1 wants that, eh?

     
  • At 7:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Luckily, not everyone thinks I'm drippy, frumpy and uninteresting. Though, really, I don't expect anyone to make a fuss about me. I'm just a regular person.

    God, this trip is long. :(

    Liz

     
  • At 7:25 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    liz, did u find the gamez i dl'ed 2 yr fone?

    apes

     
  • At 7:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April! Yes, I found the games. Thank you so much, they are helping me stay sane! :)

    Liz

     
  • At 7:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Howard, I feel bad after reading your post. I had no idea I was coming across that way. Like I was interrogating you. Really I didn't mean to. But something definitely changed in your demeanour when Liz Patterson visited the salon. And I had a hunch there were things you were going through but not dealing with. In my own life, I always find that's a bad thing.

    Marjee

     
  • At 10:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, alexandra rilly got on2 me 4 sayin’ “your place or mine?” we haven’t done a hockey nite @her place, but wut w/our main tv b-ing repaired frum b-ing chewed on by electrical rodents (the nite u came ovah), i thot she mite like prefer the picture @her place nstead of our backup tv.

    well, alexandra started yellin’ @me & then my mom joined n. i think it wuz a bondin’ moment 4 them. mom started n on “jeremy, ur b-ing insensitive 2 alexandra’z feelingz, just like ur dad usedta do w/me. wen will u learn, girls like a solid dependable man, who’s gonna b there 2 watch the hockey & take out trash, not sum flighty, fly-by-nite guy, who watches hockey all ovah the place & takes out othah peeps trash? did u take out the trash 2day jeremy? no, uc it it iz still there, w8ing 4u. don’t go ovah & take out alexandra’z parents trash, wen ours needs takin’ out. alexandra needz sum1 dependable who can commit 2 hockey n 1 place only. u need 2 show alexandra ur that kinda guy & take out our trash.” alexandra was nodding during part of that & then she leaned ovah 2 me & sed, “i think ur mom wunts u2 take out the trash.” i sed, “wuz that wut she wuz talkin’ ‘bout? i kinda faded out aftah ‘ur just like ur dad’”

    so i tuk out the trash & the yellin' stopped. man, i am glad alexandra wuz here 2 xxplain that 2 me. she iz the best.

    we r watching calgary & vancouver now n game 2 of our dubble-header.

     
  • At 10:24 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Marjee,

    Thanks for the lunch and the conversation. You are right. When we were talking, I was dealing emotionally with things I should have dealt with back in July. If you keep powerful emotional issues bottled up inside of you, I think it makes it difficult to relate to other people. You would always be saying things like, “I haven't fallen in love with anyone…yet.” Or “I haven’t settled on a career I plan to have for more than a couple more years…yet.” Or “I haven’t decided to move out of my parents home…yet.” When what you really should be doing is addressing the major issues in your life. That conversation with you was good. I needed it. Just don’t expect that kind of talking every time we go to lunch. See you at work.

    Howard K.

     
  • At 11:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Howard--

    Becky can come to the dinner, but just so you know, we will be discussing topics that are definitely "rated R." Just discussion though. From the talk about her home life, that should be nothing new for her.

    You can come to my place at 7 tomorrow. I found your email address on your blog, so I will email my apartment's address there.

    Candace

     
  • At 12:11 AM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Oh man my 'rents r back. My mom gave my dad a digital camera 4 Xmas an' he filled up like 6 memory stix w/ fotos an' he didnt delete nething an' were looking @ all the fotos thru the tv.

    Heres what Ive cn so far:

    1. 100 pix of Aunty Perdita

    2. 100 pix of Aunty Peridita an' Uncle Alistair

    3. 2000 pix of the baby w/ Aunty Perdita and/or Uncle Alistair and/or my mom an'/or my dad an'/or my gran an'/or the goats.

    An' thats like only 1/2 of the fotos. I think Ill b up all nite.

    The only good thing is they havent asked me many qs abt break just if I got on ok w/ Mr M an' I said hes rilly cube an' then they started yapping abt the baby again.

    L8r. Ok, mayB not l8r. 2morrow.

    p.s. Apes, yr mom called my mom an' said that Mike an' Dee r coming ovah 2morrow. If yr not 2 busy bonding w/ Dee, call me an' we can meet up sumwhere.

     
  • At 1:02 AM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I had been dreading Elizabeth Patterson returning to Milborough for awhile. April says that she doesn’t come to town very often, so you don’t need to worry much about her breaking my heart. I am feeling very back to normal now.

    I have been leaving messages for Everett, but I have not gotten him. His message machine says: {beep} Dudes, this is Dr. Everett Callahan. I am so not home right now. I am probably out having to kick start the business for my dental practice, since my slacker partner has given up working. He tells every dude and dudette who will listen the business is slow because clients have spent all their money on Christmas, and can't afford to get any major dental work done. This is major BS. The dude screwed up the advertising contracts and doesn’t have the balls to admit he did it so he would have time to take some cruise, he’s on about. If you need me dudes, leave a message and I might ring you after I fix this pile of mess. Leave it after the beep, dudes. {beep}

    So, I guess I will have to wait until Everett calls me back. In the meantime, I am glad you are going with me to Candace and Rudy’s dinner thing. After the last time with them, I feel safer having someone I can trust watching my back.

    The new pool sounds great. Is it heated, or do we have to wait until summer to use it?

    Howard K.

     
  • At 1:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, vancouver over calgary 4-3 in ot. i luv watchin’ hockey w/alexandra, particularly durin’ the commercialz. i dunno wut i did 2b so lucky 2 have a gf like her.

     

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