April's Real Blog

Friday, January 06, 2006

Red Dress

When Liz was packing 2 go back 2 Mtig, she told me she'd gone thru her closet & put thingz on my bed. I was way psyched when I saw she'd left me her red dress. I was all, "Yr red dress! U're seriously gonna give me yr red dress?" When I put it on, I was like, "Whoa! What's Dad gonna say when he seez me in this?" Which, now that I write it down, I realize it soundz creepy. Like Dad & I R d8ing or sumthing. But really, I meant wd he let me leave the house wearing it. & Liz sed that he'd probably say the same thing he'd sed 2 Liz when she wore it. Just then, Dad showed up & he sed, "U're not going NEwhere in that w/out a coat over it!!" Hmmm, Guess I can't wear it in the summer then, eh? I just hope Mom doesn't make me wear xtra clothes under it.

Ger, can we sneak sum time 2gether so I can show off my new dress? I hafta wear a big coat over it while I'm outdoorz, but it's so friggin' cold out, I'd do that NEway, eh? Had so much fun in the bath w/U last nite, even tho we almost got caught! Good thing Becks & I usta have those "hold yr breath under water" contests at camp. & Mr. Bubble's such a gd cover!

I'm really sad 2 C what Becks's Mom has been sayin' as her reasonz 4 not letting Becks live w/Howard. Her big reasonz shd B abt how much she luvs her daughter & is resp. 4 taking care of her. Not selfish stuff abt how Becky benefits her. Aargh. Becks, pls lemme know if I can help sumhow, K?

In other newz, Alex & Eva R getting back fr. their trip early. Dad & I R gonna join her fam 4 the Milton Icehawx game. Whoot!

Apes

posted by April Patterson @ 8:43 AM  

26 Comments:

  • At 12:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, i think alexandra iz back. i saw their cars n the driveway. i’m going 2 her house w/sum coffee az a welcome back gift. ru gonna wear ur new dress 2 the icehawks 2nite?

     

  • At 1:00 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I think I saw your mom and Dr. McCauley driving around with that lady who has the big advertisements for real estate. Are you guys planning to move someplace? I hope not. It would mean your mom is not planning to let you move in with me.

    I missed you being in my apartment last night. I suddenly got this feeling kind of like April’s mom must have when Elizabeth leaves for Mtigwaki. When she was in the salon today, she told me how it feels so empty not having any kids in the house. Of course, it confused me, since April is still living there, but in any case, I think I understand the feeling, if not the logic behind it.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 1:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Boozhoo (Hello).

    I read your writings about your sister and her dress. I have gotten to know your sister well enough to know she is very generous. I was happy to see that in your writing she is generous with you too, so I know it is not just around me. How a woman treats her sister is a good indication of how the woman really is.

    From your writing, it sounds like the red dress is very revealing. I glad to hear that your father is concerned for your health and recommends wearing a coat in the cold. He sounds like a good father. In my profession, I sometimes meet women who wear very little and do not have a coat. If it is very cold outside, sometimes my partner and I take them to our police station so that they can warm up. They lead very interesting lives, but not as amazing as your sister’s, who has helicopter pilot friends willing to ride them all over Ontario. I understand better now why Elizabeth used to search the skies, whenever she thought she heard a helicopter. Her life is amazing.

    Yesterday, your sister told me that she likes to play her cards close to her vest, so I guess that she did not give you her vest too. That was just a joke.

    Your sister can sometimes be shy, and I could tell from yesterday's writing that her friends Shawna-Marie and Dawn were concerned about her. I am sure Elizabeth feels fortunate to have such caring friends. If I could talk to them, I would say they don’t need to worry. In Mtigwaki (Land of the Trees), there is no such thing as shyness (or privacy). It is the perfect place for a shy person.

    By the way, please tell your sister that Shiimsa did call me. Vivian Crane said that Shiimsa just pressed the redial on the phone by accident, but I am not convinced. In any case, we had a nice conversation. Shiimsa said, “Meeowr? Mrowr!” and I think it was “Mmrrrwo!!!” before I heard Vivian say, “Cat! What are you doing with that phone?” Also, tell your sister I miss her and I cannot wait to see her again.

    Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 2:52 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    hey, alex, no worriez, i'm not wearing the dress 2 hockey, lol! tho i did model it 4 ger 2day. instead of his usual 1-2: special tutoring session on "modern basketball greats: the techniques of the best players from wilt chamberlain to kobe bryant (on-court techniques, that is)", he went 2 the library 2 look up basketball-related books & dvd's (that was his story, neway). & we met up. luckily, the library has these special "meeting rms" u can like sign up 4. lol! so, like, i was way 2 dressy 4 the library, but gerald luvved the dress. gd think i had a nice, heavy coat 2 wear over it 2 & fr. the library.

    yup, dad totally knowz we're going 2 the game. he's dug out this, like, ancient jersey of his fr. when he was in his 20s. winnipeg jets. from when they, like, existed. b4 they moved 2 phoenix in 1996 & became the phoenix coyotes. dad's been going on & on abt how tragic that was.

    just so u know what 2 xpect, alex, the jersey is, like, 3 sizes 2 small 4 dad (cuz it looks like he was way skinnier in his 20s) & has sum moth holes. gah, i hope he won't embarrass us 2 much.

    apes

    p.s. sadly, i did wear that bad outfit 2 school. mom like made me. i guess we're lucky about the uni's afterall, eh?

     

  • At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Paul, you really seem to understand me well. And Shiimsa, too! I am so fortunate that you've come into my life. I can hardly wait until the next time we get to see each other.

    I couldn't help being hurt when I read what Dawn and Shawna-Marie said about me when they were having their hair done. But perhaps you're right and they were merely concerned. I love how you can see the best in people, Paul!

    Liz

     

  • At 4:16 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    Your mom has decided you can’t live with me. I am bummed.

    Of course, I am trying to be happy for you. It will great for you to live in a new house with a guest house and tennis court and the big pool with a hot tub and sauna. Plus it would be good for you to be out of the way of Dr. McCauley in the guest house. So, it should be a good thing for you, even if it’s not with me. I only want the best for my bud, you know.

    The thing with the grades was kind of scary to hear. Have you been keeping up with the math studying, now that you are back with your mom? I wish there was some way I could keep helping you with your studies. Oh well, keep me posted, and I will hope for the best.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 4:21 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    Your sister and dad came into the salon to get him a haircut for some hockey game he is going to tonight. Marjee Mahaha took him into the chair and asked him what he wanted. Your sister said to Marjee, “Just a trim.” Your dad said, “I can answer for myself. I want just a trim.” Marjee said ok and started cutting his hair. Your sister said, “Dad, you are so predictable. ‘Just a trim’ is what you always say.” Your dad said, “I am not predictable.” Your sister said, “Eh? What did you say when you saw April in that red dress I gave her. You said the exact same thing to me—word for word.” Your dad said, “I did not. When you wore that dress I said, ‘You’re not going anywhere in that without a jacket over it!!’ It was not exactly the same.” Your sister said, “Jacket, Coat. You are still predictable.”

    Marjee said, “OK. Let’s test this out. Liz, you whisper to me what your dad is going to say and we’ll see if you are right.” So then your sister whispered to Marjee. Your dad said, “You know, January is a great month for working in the shop and renewing the garden railway.” Marjee said, “Almost exact, Liz. You sure know your dad.” Your dad said, “You didn’t predict I would talk about the garden railway, did you?” Liz said, “It’s always your conversation starter—model trains. Every time.”

    Your dad said, “All right let’s try that again.” Liz said ok and whispered to Marjee again. Your dad said, “Marjee, are you interested in buying a used four wheel drive Bushwhacker?” Marjee said, “Liz, you are freaking me out. How did you know that?” Your sister said, “Every time dad talks to someone new, he tries to pawn off that awful Bushwhacker. You don’t want it. It never warms up, rides rough and needs a lot of maintenance, especially in the winter. It’s about the worst car for this time of year.” Your dad said, “The Bushwhacker is a fine car. I keep it in good shape. Anyway, those first 2 times were just luck. I am not predictable. I want a third chance.”

    Liz said ok and whispered to Marjee. Your dad said, “You know Liz got so drunk after her New Years Eve party, she thought she was going to die. It was so funny to see her first real hangover.” Marjee had this shocked look on her face. She said, “How did you do that, Liz? I mean it’s like a gift or a psychic power.” Your sister said, “It’s no power. When someone is getting the better of my dad, he always resorts to embarrassing stories. It was the logical choice, since he is so predictable.”

    Your dad said, “I am not predictable. You were just lucky. I am glad I am going to see hockey tonight with my best friend and not you.” Marjee said, “Best friend? Are you going with Dr. McCauley?” Your dad said, “Ted McCauley? Just because Ted and I have worked in the same building for almost twenty years, and we've had lunch together, driven to and from work on occasion, and even gone out for a beer; doesn’t mean he is my best friend.”

    Your sister said, “You’re talking about mom, right?” Your dad said, “No. Your prediction is completely wrong. Hah! I am talking about April. She’s my best friend and we’re going to see hockey tonight. I have my special hockey outfit and I have been remembering my old hockey cheers all day. I think tonight, April is going to turn back into a human. It will be great.” Marjee and your sister looked at each other giving each other the “Ewww” look. Then Marjee said, “That sounds great, Dr. P. I’m sure that you and your best friend will have a great time.” Your dad said, “Yes. And as you can see, I am not predictable.” Your sister said, “You’re right dad. I would never have predicted that answer.”

    Your dad seemed quite happy, but your sister seemed confused or depressed or disoriented-or something. I think your sister is planning to talk to you about proper father-daughter relationships. I thought you might want to know this.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 4:29 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I am nervous for you, but I want you to know that whatever happens, I will try my best to help you get through it.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 4:31 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks, that's awful how yr mom is all acting like u r a thing! that's not cube. :(

    not offended aby yr house comment. i can hardly w8 2 move outta that place.

    neway, i'm thinking u cd use sum silly, girly fun 2 take yr mind off what's going on, eh? how 'bout we go 2 a matinee 2morrow, a bunch of us, u pick the film, becks? then we can shop, eat, or whatev we feel like after?

    no prob abt being a bit tite, alex. w/my dad's jersey, he won't notice, lol!

    apes

     

  • At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    alexandra, since april & her dad r gonna b w/us, do i hafta sit on my handz?

     

  • At 4:38 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    wow, all these messages that weren't there b4 snuck in betw my writing & posting.

    neway, yeah, liz told me abt the weird "best friend" thing w/dad. she's a bit worried he's got sum "boundary issues" & sed i shd have a coupla other peeps betw me & him @ the game.

    apes

     

  • At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, alexanda & i cud sit between u & ur dad, particularly if he agreez 2 monitor me so i don't hafta sit on my handz 4 the whole game, eh?

     

  • At 5:31 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    it's a deal, jeremy!

    ooh, i hear the doorbell. . . .

    apes

     

  • At 6:15 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    man, becks, that meeting soundz cray. zee. omg!

    so, like, we've just settled in2 our seats. jeremy's between me & my dad, & i'm between jeremy & alex. miranda's on alex's other side. then, alex's dad is by my dad, & then it's alex's mom.

    my dad is sooooooooo embarrassing. i can't believe he called me alpo.

    btw, my dad's got a black armband on. cuz of being in mourning 4 the "demise" of his favourite team.

    apes

     

  • At 7:19 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I am glad you got the Grade Not Received (GNR) from the principal. That’s better than a failing grade and having to make it up in summer school. I will definitely do whatever I can to help you with those extra credit projects and of course, get your math grades back to where they used to be. I could do the math tutor thing for free if that would help you settle things with Dr. McCauley, although given the way he feels about me, I don’t think money is the issue. I think he still blames me for getting those records out of his office and for the beating he received at the hands of the Bandidos. Once you are moved, I supposed I could just sneak over, since you are going to be living in the guest cottage, and I would not have to walk past him in the main house to get to you. Does the new house have any security on it, or do you know?

    Howard K.

     

  • At 8:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    becky, i cud not have been readier 4 a game 2 start. we were watchin’ the practice 4 the milton icehawks vs. the streetsville derbies. april’s dad iz sittin’ between me & alexandra.

    april’s dad: why don’t streetsville derbies wear derbies on their head? it wud b better than wearing thoze hockey masks. a derby is a classic hat. if the winnipeg jets had only worn derbies, mebbe they wudn’t have moved. yessir derbies r a classic.

    alexandra’z dad: wut ru talkin’ ‘bout? winnipeg movin’ had nothin’ 2 do w/derbies.

    alexandra’z mom: oh remembah wen streetsville usedta have a cute dog mascot w/a derby. it wuz much bettah than this growling dog they have now. remembah wen mascots usedta b cute & cuddly?

    alexandra’s dad: oh, not this again. hockey is tuff, not girlie. there’s a reazn y hockey uniforms nevah have pink n them, xxcept wen it’s blud.

    april’s dad: winnipeg had a cute jet flyin’ ovah a hockey stick. i mean, it wuz not cute, but still famly-oriented.

    alexandra’z mom: that soundz so sweet.

    april’s dad: i know. i guess the winnipeg jets just got caught in the jet stream to phoenix.

    april: dad, please. the puns.

    april’s dad: oh, don’t b so sensitive. honestly talkin’ 2u iz like strollin’ thru a minefield. i wondah wut happened to the barbed wire i put up? oh, it duzn’t mattah. ru wearin’ that speshul red dress under that coat, best friend april?

    april: no dad. hockey jersey. just like u, xxcept it fits me & isn’t 100 yrs old. pleaze do not call me ur best friend or alpo. daughter or april only.

    me: mebbe we cud just watch the practice.

    april’s dad: keep ur handz away frum april, jeremy. it hazn’t been that long since u got her pregnant.

    alexandra: wut did u say? jeremy got april pregnant?

    miranda: april iz pregnant? she iz sure not showin’.

    april: miranda, alexandra & especially u dad, i wuz nevah pregnant. i’m still a virgin & proud of it. dad. focus on the hockey & not on jeremy.

    april’ dad: oh good. it luks like the icehawks have formed an add hawk committee. 2 minny playerz on the ice.

    alexandra’z dad: it’s a practice, not the game. the whole team iz on during the practice.

    april’s dad: i guess i and the icehawks have a difference of a pinion.

    alexandra’z dad: wut?

    april: it wuz a pun on the word pinion. dad stop, b-fore u mbarrass urself.

    april’s dad: u know, i alwayz been able 2 kid her & have fun w/my best friend april. but now, i nevah know what tone or inflection or comment iz gonna ignite her rage.

    me: rage? wut ru talkin’ ‘bout. do u evn know april?

    april’s dad: watch that anger jeremy. i know how a few simple molecules called hormones can change a teenager’s personality so drastically. oh, i’m gonna get sumthin’ 2 eat. i hope sum1 iz ice-hawking their wares.

    that wuz only the practice. it got worse n the game. i'll post it l8er or april or alexandra will.

     

  • At 9:14 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, dad keeps yelling @ the players. "no bodychecking! who r yr parents?!?!" god, wanna hide!!!

    apes

     

  • At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    becky, we r in the 3rd period. milton 1 streetsville 0. evry time a playah getz called 4 a penalty, april’z dad sez. “not enuff. 2 minutez iz not enuff tyme 4 these ruffianz. y rn’t calling for all this checkin’?”

    then wen alexandra or alexandra’z dad or rilly ne1 sez sumthin’ like a cheer or a comment on wut they think of the othah team, april’s dad sez, “watch ur language. all you can do iz keep an eye on the playerz, talk 2 them openly & hope they uze good judgment. there iz no need 2 uze thoze wordz. my, i can cy elly duzn’t like team sports. this iz a lot ruffer than wen i usedta watch the jetz play. in winnipeg all the fanz were ladies & gentlemen.”

    oooh, matt read just got an unassisted goal 4 milton with 9:24 left. it’s not luking good for streetsville.

     

  • At 9:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    becky, they called felice turano of streetsville 4 chargin’ & april’s dad sez, “they shud ‘charge him’ 4 that ‘charging’” every1 w/us-- alexandra’z dad, mom, alexandra, miranda, me & especially april groaned all @the same tyme. april’s dad sez, “iz there sumthin’ wrong w/ur tummies? u have all been sayin’ little & scowlin’ a lot. on at least two seconds of contemplation, i’m not sure, but i think our team iz winning. be ice-happy hawks, not scowling streetsvilles.”

     

  • At 10:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    becky, had a gud fite here. 2 guyz frum milton & 1 guy frum streetsville called 4 roughing. april’s dad sed, “i guess since streetsville'z mascot iz a dog, it makes sense they shud be called 4 ruff-ing. “ & he sed “ruff-ing” like it wuz a dog bark.

    alexandra’z dad sed 2 alexandra “i think i wud have rather watched rpi get slaughtered than 2 lissen 2 this. it iz gonna go n my memory az the most painful victory 4 milton evah. & i’m gonna remembah who talked me n2 it.” i sed, “it’s not alexandra’z fault. i think she just wanted 2 come back early 2b w/me. it’s my fault.” then april sed, “no. it’s my fault. i nevah shud have mentioned the game 2 my dad.” alexandra’z dad sed, “thass fine. it’s all ur fault. u3 r sittin’ n the back with mr. punny all the way home.”

     

  • At 10:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    becky, last minute score by milton. final 3-0 ovah streetsville. & now 4 a scary ride home. at the end, a milton guy got called 4 high sticking & april’s dad sed, “a more friendly penalty wud be ‘hello, glad 2 meet u’ sticking. ‘hi’ sticking is so casual.” i am so dreading the trip back 2 mboro.

     

  • At 10:43 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    That's good news about the math tutor and the back gate. I suppose I could still help you out on the projects and doing that business of relating mathematical concepts to music to help you understand things, if that's all right with you.

    Any news on the house purchase?

    Howard K.

     

  • At 10:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, just tryin' 2 keep u n the loop. i will stop postin' now. april'z dad just sed, "wut ru doin' w/that fone? u don't wanna b know az fone-y, do u?"

     

  • At 11:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Boozhoo (Hello).

    I just got an e-mail from a web designer named Stephanie telling me that I am now officially listed on your mother’s website. The website has quite a bit of information about me, including a picture, which looks like the one Elizabeth took of me to show you what I looked like. It says I have fallen in love with Elizabeth, which is true. I noticed that I am listed with my Ontario Provincial Police title of Constable, with other people who do not have titles. I hope this does not mean that Stephanie or your mother think that Constable is my first name. My first name is actually Paul.

    As I am sure you know, the website has pictures of all your family, including a few of Elizabeth. I believe Elizabeth told me that you are 14 years old. Are there any recent pictures of you? The ones on the website appear to be of you when you were younger. I believe Elizabeth told me that you are almost as tall as she is now. Certainly that is true, if you are wearing some of Elizabeth’s old clothes. Well, perhaps you will take that trip you talked about with Elizabeth in the spring to Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) and I can come up from Otter County (County of Otters) and meet you face to face. The picture of me Stephanie or your mother used is recent, just to let you know.

    Please tell your sister, with whom I have fallen in love that I can’t wait to see her again.

    Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 2:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, no game stuff 2u. got it. iz there gonna b enuff rum @this new place 4 ur equipment, or shud we keep storin' it @my place? mebbe geranium wud like that greek stuff. he usedta like roman thingz & that's kinda like greek stuff.

     

  • At 3:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, if it's sumthin' illegal goin' on w/the house, mebbe we shud leave the stuff @my house. u know it wud b bad to have all ur possessionz seized by the police during a raid. we wud nevah get the stuff back, if that happened.

    'sides that witch thing scarez me. i remembah wut she did 2 howard. ru sure u wanna evn b livin' w/creepy mccauley if he haz thoze kinda connections? i'm gettin' kinda worried/scared 4u, u know.

    it's 1 thing 4 creepy mccauley 2b involved with gordon & tracey cuz they have kidz & respect youth, but that witch duzn't care if peeps get turned old rilly early, evn if they are still teenagerz. i know this personally. promise me u'll b careful, eh?

     

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