Mom makes it all about herself & her endless menopause!

Liz was pissed. She sed, "April, Y do I even bothering confiding in Mom? I bared my soul 2 her & she came out w/a lame 'the change of life'/'a change in of life' not-even-pun wordplay. Y, Y, Y do I not learn?" I gave her a hug & sed I cd feel her pain. Cuz, U know, I do live in this house. W/our 'rents.

So this is what happed. Liz was, like, moping, & Mom was all, "What's the matter, Liz." (No question mark; this was, like, a statement.) Liz was, like,

I dunno, Ma...I think it's apathy. I saw sum of my old friends over the holidayz. We had fun...But we're growing apart. Sum R getting married, otherz R moving away...I come back 2 this house, my clothes R in the closet, but I don't live here NEmore. I'm confused or depressed or disoriented--or sumthing.

This is when Mom swooped in. I h8 2 think how long she's been saving up this comeback. Cuz our 'rents R like that. They save up these lame-o "wordplay" lines & just can't w8 2 get the chance 2 use 'em. Even when they're, like, not appropriate 2 the sitch. So, Mom went, "I know how U feel. I'm going through the change of life & U're going through a change of life!" Liz told me, "Apes, I could just feel this look forming on my face. I think the word for how I felt was 'nonplussed'. I'm pretty sure I saw that on 1 of the vocab lists U left out." Liz shook her hed & went on, "Man, U know what? When Mom sed she knew how I felt, I thot she might, just might, have had sumthing useful 2 say. Bcuz, after all, she did move here fr. Vancouver. So she musta, like, gone thru the same kinda thing when she was a yung woman. In fact, I vaguely remember her saying sumthing abt this when Mike & I were little & we'd sumtymz visit Gramps & Grandma in BC. She'd leave 'home' 2 visit 'home' & then go back 'home' again." Liz sighed. "But Y waste time drawing on yr experiences in a useful way when U can spew out a lame Patterson 'line'?"

I nodded & I sed, "U know, Liz, I haven't gone thru NE of this yet. But I have a feeling that if U move out for real &, like, start thinking of Mtig as yr real home, U mite start 2 feel less, like, drifty." She sort of half nodded, & I sed, "If U want, I cd help U go thru the stuff U still have here. Decide what U wanna take w/U, what U wanna store in boxes, what U wanna give away. 2, like, me. Not that I'd only B doing this 2 get stuff fr. U." Liz rolled her eyez & swatted me w/a pillow. Then she sed, "U have a pt, April. As long as I have my old rm all set up & ready 4 me 2 step back in2 my childhood, I'll have these 'off' feelingz when I visit. NEway, thanks for your offer. I'll think abt it."

U know, I wda liked 2 have herd abt Liz's hanging out w/her old friendz, wdn't U? This cda been an interesting conversational topic.

So Ger & I have a coupla "secret" dates 2day. We haven't been able 2 C ea other so much, cuz Ger has a crazee training sked over the break. But I'm gonna cheer him on @ the rink when he's practicing hockey. & 2 nite, I'm packing up my 'kini & Ger's gonna smuggle me in2 his house 2 share a bath w/him! Don't worry, we're gonna wear bathing suits like we did B4!

Apes

P.S. I can't believe Buttsy has joined a "rodent gang"! This is so, so bad!