Firefighter housecalls?
Whew, sorry I'm l8 again. This time fr. partying hardy, eh? Sorry I left all that describing 2 U, Howard. Like Howard sez, Becky's dad Thorvald brought Ger 2 the party just B4 midnite, so we cd kiss. I was sooooo happy that we got 2 have our New Year's kiss! And it was a gr8 kiss! And then, like Howard also sez, Ger had brought me sum clothes an' jewelry:
So I guess I'll tell her all that when she gets back.
Apes
Gerald got April some kind of BoHo Hippy top with flared ruffle sleeves, with a choker necklace that has an oval Viking emblem attached. He insisted that she wear it, even though it is setting off all kinds of fashion alarms in my head. Thorvald seems to like it because it reminds him of how girls dressed in his younger days.So I was totally still wearing that stuff when I got home in the v. early, wee hrs of the morning. And guess what? That weird vision I told Howard abt last nite came true: “Howard. I have this vision about answering a door and a fireman is there to return a blanket and photo albums that Deanna dropped on the fire escape. Do firemen do that?” L8r, Luis kinda told us that they do actually do this (also from a Howard comment last nite):
Luis Guzmán told this strange story about how the Toronto Fire Services have new laundry and scrapbooking divisions, for families who are victims of fires. His girlfriend, Alto Escurrido, said she heard the local Ontario Provincial Police were installing a new moccasin-making division so they can hand out moccasins to victims of violent crimes.So, NEway, the doorbell rang this morning, and since every1 else was either out an' abt or sleeping off hangovers, I was all, "I'LL GET IT!!!" I think I mita damaged my hearing a bit last nite, cuz 4 sum reason, I felt like I hadta shout that REALLY LOUD an' almost unhinge my jaw like Mom does all the time. So I answered the door an' this v. cute guy was there holding a blanket and sum books on top. I was all, "Hi!" And the guy was, like, "Hello, I'm from the fire department. Is Deanna Patterson here?" Dee took the kiddies out early this morning, so I was like, "No, she isn't." Then I asked, "Can I give her a message?" And he handed me the blanket and books, all, "U can give here these. They were left on the fire escape. Tell her we washed the bedspread and cleaned up the foto albums." I stood there holding them, like totally not believing my weird vision or Luis's crayzee talk cd B true. I was all, "U did? Wow!" And as the cutie walked off, he sed over his shoulder, "We're not just firefighters, Miss... We're family guyz, 2." I told him, "She'll want 2 thank U!" He turned an' sed, "Just tell her 2 have a safe and happy new year!"
So I guess I'll tell her all that when she gets back.
Apes
Labels: cute firefighter, fashion, fire, Happy New Year
posted by April Patterson @ 10:14 AM
21 Comments:
At 10:47 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings where you talked about the fireman delivering your niinim (sister-in-law's) washed blanket and photo albums to her. Normally, I would say this is another example of how members of a service organization go above and beyond the call of duty to serve their community. However, there were a few suspicious things about this visit. The fireman identified himself as a member of the fire department and not the Toronto Fire Services. Also, he did not give his name, his station number or his division number. Also, he asked specifically for your niinim (sister-in-law) and did not mention your nisayenh (brother), when the names listed for the fire call and fire safety inspection for the apartment would have been in both their names.
Just to be sure, I called up the Recruitment & Community Outreach Division of the Toronto Fire Services, and they told me their community outreach is specifically career preparation courses and co-op eduction offered to the community and Grade 11 and 12 students and the Fire Venturers Program for the younger children. They have no program for blanket-washing and photo album-cleaning. It sounds like the fireman was operating on his own.
Your sister told me that your niinim (sister-in-law’s) fire insurance has a cleanup crew who would go into the burned apartment once it's been safety-inspected and take away anything that's salvageable. If that is the standard procedure, it seems strange to me this firefighter would go around that process to personally salvage and deliver a blanket and photo albums which would have been recovered by the salvage team.
The visit may have been completely innocent. But when I met your sister for the first time delivering your ngashi (mother’s) sunglasses, I was going above and beyond the call of my duty, and the real reason I drove all the way to Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) was to meet your sister. This visit from the firefighter seems similar to me. I don’t know exactly what went on that the fire, but is there any way this fireman may have gotten the idea that your niinim (sister-in-law) was unattached?
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 10:58 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, that wuz a l8 nite 4 me & the future sis. wen we got back @5 in the mornin’, my mom sed, “only 5? thoze old peeps must b slowin’ down.” i dunno. we drove by duncan’s house & all the lites were out, so we figgered ur party wuz alreddy ovah. mom & future dad had been gettin’ bizzy while future sis & i were outa the house. i think future sis woulda gone “eeww!” if she had been awake enuff 2 notice the furniture moved ‘round in odd places. needta focus on sumthin’ else.
ur story ‘bout the firefighter is innerestin’ w/the visions & stuff. it’s actually nice 2 have an april’s real blog entry thass ‘bout u. i dunno if i wud believe the story luis guzmán told ‘bout the toronto fire services w/a laundry & scrapbooking divisions. that sounds like 1 of his stories. it sounds 2 st00pid 2b true. he wuz prolly makin’ a joke ‘bout ur vision, if u talked ‘bout it in fronta every1. his gf, alto escurrido, i could prolly b-lieve, cuz she has like, no sense of humour. aftah all, isn’t ur sis’ bf comin’ 2 work 4 the local ontario provincial police? u know how peeps r in mboro w/the jobs rel8ed 2 their ethnicity. mebbe sumbody made a position they thot wud be rite 4 ur sis’ bf.
At 11:12 AM,
howard said…
April,
It was nice to attend a party where it did not conclude with people being taken to the hospital. I thank you for inviting me, as I did very early this morning too, although I don’t know if you noticed. Becky and I had to leave to go feed the dogs and to keep her father from starting an axe-throwing contest. Mainly it was the axe-throwing.
Afterwards, Becky was feeling a little romantic or historical or historical romantic. She said, “Howie. Just think last year at this time, you were dating Dr. Everett Callahan, and Candace Halloran and Rudy Dodd tried to convince you to become a partner in their ménage-a-trois and you had to clean up Duncan’s party at his ruthless boss, Mr. Malkus’ house, after the entire senior class of R.P. Boire trashed the place.” I said, “That was a busy evening. What’s the difference this time?” Becky said, “You’re living with me and my family. You’re not just a gay, light opera-singing, transvestite, maid and chef; you’re a family guy too.” I said, “That’s all thanks to you.” Becky said, “That’s right, and don’t you forget it, fiancé.”
Then we got home and found Becky’s mother Krystle and Dr. McCaulay asleep on a bedspread in the living room and a lot of photographic equipment around them. I said, “I hope that’s video, because I don’t want to clean up photos.” Becky said, “Or that bedspread. Eeww!!” We left them sleeping there and went to Becky’s bungalow and went to sleep.
Becky still sleeping now, but I had to get up and feed and walk her dogs Freyfaxi, Zeus and Apollo. As I was walking the dogs, I think I did see a firefighter leaving your house. You’re right. I remember thinking he was cute too. I wonder if he’s gay.
Howard Bunt
At 11:22 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. I wish you had gotten the firefighter’s name, because if I knew who he was I would probably kiss him. Deanna said she would have done the same thing, if she had been there to answer the door. But I doubt either of us had any kisses left after New Years Eve, the anniversary of our engagement.
When Deanna lost those photo albums, I thought we would never hear the end of it from mom, who had taken the time to make them for us with all her scrapbooking classes at Lilliput’s. Actually, we didn’t hear the end of it until after you showed the albums to mom. She said the word “Precious” a few too many times, and I was little frightened when heard that.
Finally, that tension is over. And it also explains why the photo albums and blanket were not on the fire escape when I went back to visit the apartment. I thought they had been taken by photo album and blanket vandals. It’s good to know they were in the safe hands of the fire department. My daughter seems to be much happier too, since the blanket was her favourite. She says it doesn’t smell the same, so mom had to rewash it.
At least the firefighter’s heart was in the right place, even if he was using the wrong detergent and he called it a bedspread and not a blanket. There are some things they just don’t cover in the firefighter school. I would write an article complaining about the proper training of firefighters, but mom said if I wanted to ever get any more photo albums and blankets hand-delivered to my house, then I probably shouldn’t. As always, mom knows best.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 1:56 PM,
April Patterson said…
paul, the firefighter being interesed in dee? huh, i hadn't thot of that!
zeremy, yeah, i'm kinda glad 2 b writing an entry abt myself that isn't me having zits or being in a pissy mood 4 no good reason.
howard, dunno abt the firefighter's orientation.
mike, i 4got 2 say. the firefighter told me they rec'd yr "thank you" basket, and that it really wasn't necessary. esp. the pic of u in yr skivvies.
apes
At 2:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, u do know that this is ur blog, so u can write 'bout wutevah u want, eh? u sound like u have no control, which i guess wudn't b 2 unusual 'round here.
future sis finally woke up. she sez she nevah wunts 2c an old person again. i think she wuz 2 traumatized by last nite's events. howevah, wen i gave her her part of the money i got 4 doing the gig, she felt a lot bettah 'bout old peeps. they pay pretty well.
neway, we're gonna c a movie, a chick flick called the holiday. i'm not that innerested but i figger the future sis deserves 2 do sumthin' she wunts 2 do. ur welcome 2 join us if u want. lemme know.
At 2:29 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Oh, man, I hope Marjee & Warren didnt do it in my bed.
That firefiter must b str8 & aftah Dee. Y wld he come all the way fr Toronto 2 deliver stuff? Plus he mite p*ss off the Mboro firefiters if they c him on their turf. I guess Dees been a Patterson long enuf 2 pick up the Patterson allure, not that it works on me.
Gr8 gig last nite. Im chilling @ the beach all day.
L8r.
At 2:49 PM,
Anonymous said…
duncan, dude i know wut u mean. my future sis is sleepin' in my room & in my bed, & all i hafta worry 'bout is perfume & girl smell. i wudn't wanna come back 2 my bed & find sum strange stains, u know. i wud hafta disinfect the bed. but u know, unless ur bed is the biggest & most comfortable, i doubt they woulda picked urs.
At 2:49 PM,
April Patterson said…
zeremy, i have control over what i write? did we just meet? next thing i know, u r gonna tell me i have control over my hair!
neway, i'll meet u @ the movie. i've gotta get outta this house!
dunc, i guess that makes sense abt the firefiter being hott 4 dee. don't worry, i m pretty sure falstaff was, like, guarding yr room 4 sum reason. i think marjee an' warren musta dun whatevs they did in yr 'rents room.
apes
At 3:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i know u don't have control ovah ur hair or ur clothes, but i thot the whole point of having a "real blog" iz that u could write wut u wunt. otherwise it wud be ur fake blog, & we would b talkin' 'bout sumbody's baby pictures or a picture of their dog or cat or sum staff party @the witch of corbeil's place.
neway, my future sis can pick u up so u don't hafta walk in the cold, but i unnerstand 'bout gettin' outa the house. if we cu on the way, we'll stop, eh?
At 3:27 PM,
howard said…
April,
I understand Jeremy's opinion. After all, he writes what he wants and nothing really happens to him aside from a little shame and degradation. If he had prison sentence hanging over his head or an aunt and uncle in the burn recovery center of the hospital, he would have a different opinion about what control he did or did not have. But I can see his point. No matter what happens to me, I generally write to you what I want to write. So, there is a certain freedom of expression, at least for now. Once I am in prison, I doubt I will be able to write as often, if at all.
On the other hand, neither one of us is a Patterson, and there is quite a bit more control there. Everyone knows how restricted you are. You don't choose your hair style, you don't choose your clothes, you don't choose who sleeps in your bed, you don't choose your boyfriend, you don't choose who you're going to marry. So, there is not much of stretch to imagine you don't choose what you write on April's Real Blog. I am not quite sure why Jeremy does not get that, but he gets to exercise so much more personal freedom than you do, it might affect his view point.
I hope you have fun at the movie. I am trying to clean up the mess Becky's mom Krystle and Dr. McCaulay made last night, without waking them up. They are still sleeping, can you believe it? At least Becky finally got up.
Howard Bunt
At 3:27 PM,
April Patterson said…
i'm writing this fr. the car. zeremy an' his future sis spotted me goin' down sharon park drive and offered me a ride 2 the movie.
i hadta remind zeremy that my control over what i write has limits. like i'll have this weird urge 2 write abt the fire @ mike's 4 a week, or mom vacuuming, or liz @ the courthouse. well, u all pretty much know the drill. then i say what i want 2 abt it, like give u my pov on it. and he's rite, @ least it's not me posting random pix like the fake blog has.
apes
At 3:40 PM,
April Patterson said…
i'm glad u understand, howard. it can b frustr8ing when ppl ask me "y do u keep writing abt [whatever topic]? can't u tell us abt [other thing]?" like in the summer when i was @ the farm but writing abt stuff back home, an' mike kept bugging me 2 tell stuff abt our cuz laura and the farm. or when zeremy complains he doesn't wanna hear abt mike's plumbing trubs. but it's like i'll sit down 2 write my blog entry, and feel a force guiding which topic i'm writing abt. v. frustr8ing sumtymez.
apes
At 4:21 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Apes, I 4got 2 ask which lamp got broken. Ill make sure I bump in2 it w/ my suitcase as soon as I walk in the door.
Howie, I had this weird dream @ the beach 2day, the wicked witch went 2 Ottawa & got them 2 reinstate the deth penalty just 4 "crimes against Pattersons." Good thing its onlee a dream.
Got 2 go. Flying fish 4 dinner, then Im going 2 the rum house w/ my dad & Alaistair 2 play dominos.
L8r.
p.s. Is Zed back from Ottawa? She hasnt answered ne of my emails yet. Mayb Ill try 2 call her again 2nite.
At 4:28 PM,
April Patterson said…
dunc, it's the lamp u really h8, the one from peridita that sez "life is beautiful in barbardos."
i haven't heard nething abt zed as yet.
apes
At 4:40 PM,
Anonymous said…
in the movie the holiday jack black az a romantic lead, iz almost like me az a romantic lead. ‘course thass prolly y april & my future sis r postin’ during the movie. ok. jude law’s back 4 his part, so now they’ve stopped.
duncan, dude, all i got frum zandra wuz that 1 postcard. i know she'll b back by january 8, cuz thass wen skool starts & thass wen u guyz have the tix 2c evanescence (xmas gift 2u & zandra). othah than that, i dunno.
At 4:44 PM,
howard said…
Duncan,
I don't know how much of your weird dream is actually a dream. I have been hearing rumours of short drop hangings for "crimes against Pattersons" ever since my trial started. But I prefer to think that the people in Ottawa are nicer than that, like maybe they're family guys or girls, too. Actually that might not help me. Maybe I should hope they are opera lovers.
Howard Bunt
At 5:31 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Howie, I hear the PM is a cat fan. Mayb u shld bake him sum xtra special cat treats & send them 2 24 Sussex Drive. Dont tell him ur gay or bi or whatevah or he mite not let his cat eat them.
Apes, I sorta like that lamp now, mayb Ill buy another while Im here & do a quick switch when I get home. I 4got 2 tell u Perdita got me this rilly sweet fone 4 Xmas. The fone part wont work til I get home but Ive been having cube times w/ the camera & camcorder & mp3 player.
L8r.
At 6:01 PM,
April Patterson said…
wow, dunc, that was v. cube of perdita! that fone loox awesum!
apes
At 10:34 PM,
duncan anderson said…
The fone is gr8! Lots of room 4 fotos but I mite have 2 buy an xpansion card when I get back. No prob, the gigs r paying good.
Zeds back, she posted on her blog. She rilly, rilly, misses me, I can tell from what she rote. Ill take her on a cube d8 in TO Sat nite.
L8r.
MCDunC
Dominos Champ
At 2:44 AM,
Anonymous said…
duncan, don't take zandra 2c the holiday. it's definitely a chick flick.
congrats on the fone.
& if u evah have a future sis & u go out w/her & april, u shud b sure 2 stop ur future sis frum asking questions like, "so, how did u & ur bf meet, april?" or "u've been d8in' ur bf since u were how old?" or "wut do u mean wen u say u have no choice 'bout ur bf?" thoze kinda questions do not do well w/april.
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