April's Real Blog

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


More on Eva's smackdown when I dared B unhappy abt moving in2 our new teeny-tiny train house. Eva was all, "Face it, girl! U got it good! If U'd stayed @ yr old house, U'd B looking after yr brother's kids all the time!" And I sed, "True," tho I was also thinking that Mike cda bought a whole OTHER house and we cda stayed where we were. Eva went on w/"Here, U've got a nice room and the possibility of scoring an apt downstairs! That's the idea, rite? They wanna turn the basement in2 yr own private space! How cool is that?!!" I sed, "Pretty cool, I guess." Tho only if my 'rents actually do it, and I'm kinda doubting it, considering they hadta spend $$ 2 repair the roof from when the tree fell on it. And also considering that in their minds, we're 2 yrs in the future and I don't even live here NEmore. But B4 I got a chance 2 say NEthing abt that, Eva pted a finger @ me and was like, "I GUESS?!! Girl, U R so totally spoiled rotten!!" And I was all, "Eva, I M NOT spoiled rotten!!" Then she, like, pulled on the backside of my shirt, looking down my back, and I was all, "What R U doing?" And she sed, "Looking 4 yr 'best B4 d8." Then she took off her Scooby-Do style bad-guy mask 2 reveal she was really Mom. OK, not really, but she mite as well have. I mean, WTF! Sum friend!




  • At 3:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sgt. Royalson here.
    I hope I am not out of line in making the following observations, but as a trained peace officer, I know how to anticipate a tragedy. To sum up: Your friends are all horrid; they refuse to listen sympathetically to any of your (rather mild) complaints and instead invariably send you on what you kids call "a guilt trip" every chance they get. Your "boyfriend" brags of having deflowered you when you simply shared an innocent glass or two of cheap Canadian wine. Your beloved grandfather has fallen into the clutches of a cruel, troll-like woman who delights in emasculating him when he is obviously still virile and manly. Your brother is exceeded in doofish ineptitude only by your Dad and your future brother-in-law, a suspected sex pervert. Your spinster sister is about to become engaged to said sex pervert, having driven away my old academy room-mate Constable Paul, who was forced to find solace in the arms of his own former flame Susan, a/ka/a "Chipper." You are "hoping" to be allowed to move into a dank cellar "apartment" until you are shipped off to a sub-standard university, where you will undoubtedly find yourself surrounded by students who will berate you as a "spoiled brat" because as a teenager you had your very own basement to dwell in and were not born with a cleft palate.
    Is that about it?

  • At 6:30 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…



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