April's Real Blog

Monday, July 09, 2007

Wanted: A friend who can COMMISERATE!

Y is it I can't complain abt stuff 2 a friend and just have that friend listen and understand and mayB even give me a "yeah that totally suxx"? I know whatevs I'm complaining abt, it's not like the most xxtreme or dire problem NE1 ever had. I don't need 2 B reminded that I have my limbs an' my peeps an' my mental faculties an' that I'm continent, U know? Sumtymes I just need a sympathetic ear, and I can't seem 2 friggin' GET 1. All I ever get is a SMACKDOWN. From my FRIENDS!

Here's an xxample that happed recently. We're in the new house, rite? So Eva came over 2 C it 4 the 1st time. And she was all, "Yr new house isn't so bad, April!" And I stuck my hands in my pockets and was all, "My rm's smaller, an' I hafta share the can w/my foax." [WHY do I say "the can"? What, am I a 40-yr-old MAN?] We went in2 my room and sat on the edge of my bed, and then the smackdown started: "Aww, poor baby! NEways, U'll B going away 2 university, so it won't matter!" University is 2 yrs away. TWO YEARS! It's not like I'm going there this coming September! I answered, "It will matter. This isn't the house I'm used 2. It's not 'home.'" And Eva had 2 go in2 the full-tilt "your probs Rn't that bad" style smackdown my friends all seem 2 favour: "What if U lived in a war zone and yr house was gone an' all U had left was yr family! U'd consider yrself lucky, wdn't U?" And I felt the need 2 remind her, "This isn't a war zone, Eva." And she smacked down further w/"Consider yrself lucky." And I felt myself looking gobsmacked as I thought, "WTF? WTF, WTF, WTF?"

Gah, I SO need a friend who will listen 2 me bitch and not smack me down! Sympathy! I KNOW moving 2 the teeny-tiny train house isn't the worst thing in the world, but wd it kill sum1 2 agree that it kinda suxx?




  • At 11:53 AM, Anonymous liz patterson said…


    I think maybe Eva is trying to tell you she has An Unfortunate Home Life, we learn about this sort of thing on teacher inservice days, we are supposed to look out for the kids who have Unfortunate Home Lives, and ask them to stay after class so we can check them over for bruises and send them to the guidance counselor, but I will give you the same warning we get about that, don't try to hug Eva or get too involved in her life, because people with Unfortunate Home Lives are often unstable people who have mental illnesses and personality disorders, and you are likely to end up with a lawsuit, so keep Eva at arm's length, but at the same time, maintain your contact with her, because 99.4% of people with Unfortunate Home Lives in Milborough go on to become Entrepreneurial Business Tycoons, and if you get in on the ground floor with a small start-up investment, you can own them for life and wind up with a pretty good profit, I'm guessing that with Eva's fertile imagination and loose morals, she will probably end up a movie producer, that could be very lucrative, so hang in there, and look out for signs of craziness.


  • At 4:25 PM, Anonymous becky mcguire said…

    apes, if i didn't totally h8 ur guts, i would agree it is like living in a war zone 2 have 2 share a "can" (in ur crude parlance) w/ ur mom, who can prolly emit sum nasty toxic gas clouds. remember how i used 2 agree ur probs w/ ur rents sucked? but u were a total jerk 2 me, so now i think u deserve it. u can suffer w/ those self-righteous types u hang ouw w/ now.


  • At 6:00 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mayB u r rite, liz. eva is always a bit mysterious abt her home life. i remember u sed that was a possible sign of unfortchness.

    becks, yeah, i was kinda thinking abt the old dayz when we useta hang and, if i complained abt stuff, u let me vent and listened insteada giving me a smackdown, like friends r supposta. i miss that. but i don't blame u 4 how u feel, i'd feel the same way if i were u. suxx 2 b me rite now.


  • At 6:05 PM, Anonymous Luann DeGroot said…

    OMG April--that sucks so bad. My friends have problems, too--like one had cancer, which was totally scary--but they let me complain, and can be totally understanding. They can be a little mean sometimes, especially when I'm a drama queen about this guy, but they are really nice most of the time. I'm sorry your friends suck.

  • At 7:33 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey Apes,

    WTF does Ms Queen Size Bed no abt living in a war zone?


    4Evah Free of Evah

  • At 7:44 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    thanx, luann, that helps!

    dunc, yeah!


  • At 7:47 PM, Anonymous Eva Abuya said…

    Sorry, April, but I have some special orders from Corbeil. If I fail to follow them, I get erased again. I really don't want to get erased again. Getting erased is worse than sharing a "can" with your 'rents!



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