April's Real Blog

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Depressing thots from Gramps

Guess what? I got an e-mail from Grandpa Jim.
Hello, April! I'll bet you are surprised to receive e-mail from your old gramps! Well, my physiotherapist is a wonderful woman, and as you can see, she has gotten me to the point where I can type again.

Iris and I have been following your stories about the "Christmas" dinner, and I thought you might be interested to know what happened on our end after that gathering.

Iris, God bless her, feels the need to fill in for my silence by speaking for the both of us. I can't blame her. I might be the same way if our positions were reversed. But I confess, it does grate at times.

Anyway, Iris had exited the Para-Bus at our building's unloading dock, and while I was being wheeled out, I noticed that Iris, Simon the driver/aide, and I had all gone into that weird, white silhouette-with-outlines people go into from time to time in Milborough. It was snowing in large, elliptical snowflakes, and the wind was visibly blowing in swirl formation. Iris said, "Thank you very much, Simon." And Simon replied, "You're welcome, Mrs. Richards," as he is wont to do.

As Iris wheeled me to the elevator, she said, "That was nice, wasn't it, Jim." That was a statement, rather than a question. This depressed me, since it reminded me that I couldn't answer and a response was not expected. She continued, "It's good to be with family." As she pressed the "up" button for the elevator, she said, "You were the patriarch tonight! Everyone was so proud to have a great-grandfather at the table!" I know that Iris means well, but I did not see any evidence that this was true. I was mostly ignored, and I had the distinct impression that most of my family were thinking cruel, uncharitable thoughts during Mira Sobinski's lovely grace. I think she was the only other person at the table who understood the spirit of the season. Oh, I know that you "get it," too, April, but as you know, you had been banished to the kids' table in the kitchen. If only I could have talked, I would have argued that we should put those two tables together so that everyone could be in one place for the dinner.

While wheeling me into our apartment, Iris prattled on, "And you stayed until the end of the evening. --As Christmases go, that was a first!" Then I had a thought, which oddly felt as though it was the final statement in a quasi-delusional 60-year-old woman's once-funny, now soap-opera comic strip: "As Christmases go, my deareast Iris... It might be my last."

I know that was a terribly depressing thought, April. But I don't seem to be getting better (past reaching the point where I can write this, for which I am grateful), and I don't think my ability to speak will ever come back. You reach a certain point where life ceases to be enjoyable, and though I hate the thought of leaving behind loved ones, like you and Iris, I know I'll be in a better place when I finally go. And we'll all meet again someday, so I don't fear death.

Well, that was altogether too serious for a moment, there. Oh, and I want to let you know that the high point of our evening was when you played the guitar and sang for us, April. It was kind of unfortunate when your big sister tried to harmonize, though. She's really let her vocal exercises lapse over the years. Oh, and when Robin grabbed hold of your guitar and yanked at the strings until they broke? It's sad that his parents have failed to teach him that this is a bad thing to do. Iris has ordered some more strings for you, and they should arrive in the coming week.

Well, this has been longer than I anticipated, but it just feels so good to be able to write to you! Best wishes for a wonderful new year! May you and your friends realize your dreams and goals for 2008.

Love,

Grandpa Jim
Aww, thanx 4 writing, Gramps. It makes me sad that U R feeling that death wd B better than life, but I think I understand what U R talking abt. And I'm glad U enjoyed my guitar playing. Thanx 2 U and Iris 4 ordering more strings.

Oh, 4 the anon poster who wanted 2 know if Gerald still reads and posts here. He still reads here, but hasn't posted 4 a while. We've stayed friends, but things have been a bit awkward between us. IM sure he will B interested 2 know abt his name meaning "strong lance" in ancient German. He luvs that kinda thing!

Apes

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8 Comments:

  • At 8:23 AM, Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said…

    It's sad that they've let your granddad down that badly. That being said, he's not the only one thinking such depressing thoughts nor is it just him who longs for death because he's been exposed to your family. Seeing Mike and Liz in action makes the living of all ages envy the dead.

     
  • At 9:15 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    it's true, dc2. i think there r sum support groups springing up around mboro, 4 ppl who r depressed cuz they have been around my fam members 2 much.

    i think @ least one of these groups has as its motto "the living bury the dead," which is a sly ref 2 mike's book.

    apes

     
  • At 11:03 AM, Anonymous liz patterson said…

    April,

    Don't you think it is so mean of Grandpa Joe to criteek critic make fun of my singing, after all, it's not like he'd doing any singing, and also, of course I don't have time for vocal lessons, spoiled teenagers and stupid old people can focus on music, they don't have anything else to do, but I have been busy trying to get married before I hit the big 3-0 and am finally too old to get anything but a maybe consolation husband like Connie Poirier, you know, the ugly old kind that doesn't give you babies, and also, you know how I've been going over to Anthony's house every day after work to do his laundry and housework and then I have to go home and do my creepybasementapartmentwork and my grading, it is not easy you know, also, I'm a little bit concerned, after I went home after buying that salve for my hands I saw Shiimsa and I told her about how our home is now going to be at Anthony's, well when I got done putting on the salve I came out of the bathroom and I couldn't find Shiimsa anywhere, but there was this note typed on my computer, it said,

    F@&% THIS S&#@. ADIOS, MUCHACHA.

    SIGNED, ANGRA MAINYU

    Well, so it looks like my kitty might be gone, oh well, since Anthony and I are engaged now, or at least pre-engaged, I don't need a cat, they're for spinsters anyway, this saves me a trip to the pound.

    Liz

     
  • At 11:36 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, liz, pls don't take shiimsa 2 the pound! if she comes back and u really don't want her, pls take her 2 me. i will convince mom 2 let us take her in.

    apes

     
  • At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Jesse Mukwa said…

    Don't worry, April. Your sister's cat somehow stowed away in a supply helicopter that arrived just this morning. Shiimsa hopped into the back of Gary Crane's truck and now she's here with me an' my Aunt Marg.

    Jesse

     
  • At 11:38 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    oh, phew! i'm glad shiimsa is ok.

    apes

     
  • At 1:45 PM, Anonymous liz patterson said…

    STUPID HUMANS,

    I JUST WENT ON A LITTLE SIGHTSEEING TRIP. JESUS CHRIST. I GOT A LITTLE TIRED OF MY LITTLE HUMAN FRIEND CUTTING DRESSES AND VEILS OUT OF "CANADIAN BRIDE" MAGAZINE AND SCOTCH TAPING THEM TO MY FUR, THEN SCREAMING, "PRETEND TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE, KITTY!"

    DON'T WORRY, I'LL BE BACK TO ANNOY MY LITTLE HUMAN FRIEND SOON.

    ANGRA MAINYU

    P.S. I AIN'T GOING TO NO POUND.

     
  • At 3:14 PM, Anonymous Warren Blackwood said…

    Hello, April! I am writing to you from Mtigwaki. I flew in on a supply run, and Gary Crane remembered me from when I flew your sister here back in January. He told me, "Warren Blackwood! How good to see you! You must come to the surprise engagement party that Vivian and I are throwing for Paul Wright and Susan Dokis. You were partly involved in guiding their path, you know."

    So I got into Gary's truck with him, after we'd finished loading supplies (I could have sworn I heard some meowing, but that doesn't make any sense!). Then I rode out with him to his home, which he calls the "teacherage."

    Paul and Susan seemed very surprised, but pleased, about the party. Paul made a toast and said that one of the best things about his relationship with Susan is the fact that they are both very upfront with our feelings. "We are never shy about saying that we love each other or are eager to commit to one another. We'd never imagine keeping our feelings confined to thought bubbles, as we hear some couples do for years at a time!"

    Oh, gotta go--they're planning some parlour games.

    Warren Blackwood

     

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