April's Real Blog

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Mom and Dad Made it About Themselves Again

When Mom got back from her visit w/Gramps, she found Dad grilling on the backyard barbecue. (Jeremy and I were inside making delicious vegan foods!) Dad was like, "So how's yr Dad, El?" Mom went, "I think he'll B fine, John--and Iris had a nice break from caregiving. Looking after him is a lot of work... U're always afraid that he'll choke or fall or something. He's so lucky 2 have her. He's so lucky to have sum1 there 2 care 4 him when he's failing, when he's frightened, when he needs help." Dad was all, "I know." Then he put an arm around Mom's shoulders and they simul-thoughtbubbled, "And I wonder... When the time comes... which one of us will play that role."

U prolly have noticed this is a pattern. Contact w/Gramps always leads them 2 consider themselves getting older. Hm. Make of that what U will.

Apes

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posted by April Patterson @ 7:04 AM  

5 Comments:

  • At 8:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What I make of it is them being self-absorbed and silly. The self-absorbed part comnes from them thinking "Oh, wow! We'll be old someday too. What happens then?" The stupid part comes from their not realizing that one of them might die and leave the other alone in the world. If (or, more likely, when) that happens, you or one of your siblings will be forced to adapt to the survivor's presence in your home. So far as I can see, nobody has realized that. It seems to me it's time you started to.

     

  • At 10:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, yeah ur mom wuz all, "looking aftah dad iz a lotta work." & u sed, "wut did u do?" & ur mom wuz like, "u're always afraid that he'll choke or fall or something." & u were like, "did he?' & ur mom wuz like, "no. he had that walker w/wheelz & he cuts hiz food up n2 little pieces." & u were like, "so wut wuz tuff?" & ur mom wuz like, "he needz sum1 there 2 care 4 him when he's failing, when he's frightened, when he needs help." & u were like, "so wuz he failin' or frightened or did he need help?" & ur mom wuz like, "no. we just watched movies & 8 hiz favrite foods." & u were like, "so wut did u do?" & ur mom wuz like, "i hadda get him in & outa bed & put on hiz pyjamaz & make him food." & u were like, "well, y didn't u just say that?" & ur mom wuz like, "wen the tyme comez & 1 of my kidz hazta take care of me, i think u shud b the 1, so then u will learn a valuable lesson on how 2 take care of ur old 'rents." & u sed, "don't worry mom. wen the tyme comez, i will take care of u just as well az u have taken care of grandpa jim." & ur mom sed, "well, thass a comfort." & i sed, "i don't think u can b that cruel, april. this last week wuz the 1st tyme she stepped in 4 iris aftah almost 2 years." & u sed, "don't b so sure, jeremy. i have this feelin' if i end up takin' care of my old 'rents, there's gonna b a whole lotta vegan cookin' goin' on." i sed, "i like ur thinkin'. ur 'rents & veggies."

     

  • At 10:52 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    i think by the time my 'rents r old and infirm, i will b living far, far away and they won't know my address. i know that sounds harsh, but hey, think of this. they keep 4getting i xxist neway. let the other 2 that they manage 2 remember, mike and liz, b in charge of their elder care.

    apes

     

  • At 7:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Formerly little sis. I had a remarkably similar conversation as mom and dad did, which you reported in your blog. When I came back from mom's house, my wife, the lovely Deanna said, "So how's your Dad, Mike?" I went, "I think he'll be fine, Deanna--and Mom had a nice break from caregiving. Looking after him is a lot of work... I'm always afraid that he'll choke or fall or something. He has a history with accidents; so it's a big job to keep up the worrying, but I am up to it.

    He's so lucky to have mom. He's so lucky to have someone there to care for him when he's failing, when he's frightened, when he needs help. And it doesn't hurt that mom lets him know when he is failing, and when he needs help. And thanks to mom switching from throwing coffee cups at his head to throwing garden gloves, a lot of the fear is gone too.

    Now Mom is back home she can get Dad back on a healthy diet, just like she did for Grandpa Jim." Deanna was all, "I know." Then she put an arm around my shoulders and we both thought, "And I wonder... When the time comes... which one of us will play that role?" Of course, I know it's going to be Deanna; but it was nice to share that thought with her.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     

  • At 8:43 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    that's sad, mike. don't u wish u cd have more original conversations?

    as 4 how mom is feeding dad, he's already gained w8 and become more lethargic. i guess if that's yr idea of "healthy," he's getting healthier by the second!

    apes

     

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