April's Real Blog

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


OK, so I just heard what happened when Iris got back, ending Mom's few-day stay w/Gramps. Mom was all, "Welcome home, Iris!" And Iris was like, "Hello, my dear!" As Iris walked in2 the apt, she sed this 2 Mom, over her shoulder: "Thanks 4 staying w/yr dad, Elly. I did appreciate my time away."

She put down her bags and went, "And I'm sure he needed some time away from me 2! --He must get tired of seeing my face day after day after day!" And Gramps went, "No!"

Iris grabbed each of his hands in her own, and went, "U don't get tired of me? Well, that's good. Because I love U--and U're STUCK w/me! ...Bonded, fastened, cemented and glued!" Gramps thought-bubbled, "The feeling is mucilage!"

Is your first reaction "bwuh"? Is it to go look up the word "mucilage"? That was my reaction. Its definition from Dictionary.com is:

1.any of various, usually liquid, preparations of gum, glue, or the like, used as an adhesive.
2.any of various gummy secretions or gelatinous substances present in plants.
And then mayB you're thinking, "Oh, so he means Iris sticks to him like glue. Is that good or bad?" And then you might be thinking, "But was he thought-bubble punning? What could be the pun? Oh, no. Was he punning on 'the feeling is mutual'? Gah, he was!" At least that what ran thru my head. This is an esp. weak pun (and I h8 puns 2 start with!). The only resemblance between the 2 words is the "myoo" sound at the beginning. [myoo-choo-uhl]/[myoo-suh-lij]. Ugh. Painful.


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  • At 7:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    At least we know where the family talent for bad puns came from. I remember a guy on TV saying that a leap like that would get someone else a Nike ad. I wonder if they make walkers.

  • At 8:07 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    but that doesn't xxplain where dad got it. but mayB mom has the same kinda reasoning liz does. mayB dad's puns reminded her of grandpa jim's, and she was all abt marrying a guy "just like dad." ::shudder::


  • At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I still say there's something in the water there. Don't you usually get a few bottles of water bottled at some plant in the States at Mr. Singh's store?

  • At 9:14 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    u're rite abt the bottled water, patrickrsghost. hm, mayB u r on2 sumthing there.


  • At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Iris Richards said…

    April, dear, I think maybe I can shed some light on the punning situation. Before your grandfather's strokes, he and I used to participate in a lovely parlour game that's held from time to time in the rec hall here. It's called "find that pun." We all took turns giving the definition of a word, and the people playing the game would try and come up with a pun using the word that had been defined.

    Not only was this game great fun, it was a good way to keep our elderly minds sharp and build our vocabulary!

    Although your grandfather can no longer speak his puns aloud, he still likes me to play the game so that he can think the pun. As you know, Jim is still in there, and he likes to exercise his noggin!

    While I was on my flight back from Calgary, I was reading that little magazine that comes in the pouch on the back of the seat that's right in front of you. For some reason, the magazine had an essay about musilage. The author was remembering when she was a little girl and her grade-school teachers always had those brown little glue bottles with the red caps on top. The type of glue in those bottles was called "musilage," though the teachers were the only ones who called it that.

    So I guess I had glue on the brain by the time I got home, and the definition for "musilage" came out of me, as I was certain your gramps could do something punny with it. In retrospect, I guess he was fairly limited to bad puns, so please try not to judge your grandpa too harshly!

    Iris Richards

  • At 9:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sgt. Royalson here.
    If I may venture a very small but I think humorous pun, perhaps it could be said that Jim and Iris have a mucilage admiration society.

  • At 10:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    There are a lot of similarities between your sister and mother; seeking out a husband who reminds them of their father is lielt one of them.

  • At 10:38 AM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i gotta say i am actually glad ur mom iz back. makin' food 4 ur dad haz been a chore 4 this last week, altho u have done gr8 substitutin' hiz usual red meat w/vegan substitutes. ur mom cud tell the diff almost immediately. she sed, "sumthin' haz gone wrong in this house. it duzn't smell like bacon grease. & john, u look fitter & trimmer & healthier." & ur dad wuz like, "but april haz been puttin' gravy on everythin', just like u do." & ur mom wuz like, "well, i'm back & u're stuck w/me...bonded, fastened, cemented & glued." & ur dad sed, "thass cuz we have mucilage respect 4 each othah." & ur mom wuz, "no we don't." & ur dad wuz like thass cuz we have "mucilage interests". & ur mom wuz, "no we don't." & ur dad wuz like, "we have a mucilage fund?" & ur mom wuz, "no. all our money iz invested in property & gordon mayes." & ur dad wuz like, "we have mucilage enemies." & ur mom wuz like, "xxactly."

    i nevah understand wut ur 'rents r talkin' 'bout.

  • At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Iris Richards said…

    Sgt. Royalson and Jeremy Jones, thanks for giving a laugh with all the wonderful "mucilage" puns! I can't wait to share them with Jim!

    Iris Richards

  • At 1:22 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    jeremy, u have been super-helpful this wk! let's go out and celebr8 2nite, eh?



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