April's Real Blog

Monday, October 10, 2005

Michael, do you know what "libel" is?

OK, so Mike called Dad this morning all excited about his "Neighbour" article having been published in The Clarion, tho, as Howard pointed out in the comments, the dumb article already appeared & they R apparently running it again cuz Mike's been 2 lazy 2 produce an article every week. And Mike actually thinx he can't get in trouble cuz (1) the Kelpfroths don't read that dingy little paper & (2) they wdn't recognize themselves in the article. Wha? Let's C, a "Michael Patterson" byline w/an article about obnoxious neighbours who live under the author. What, do U think they don't know yr name, Michael? & guess what? U shd get familiar with a word called libel. Heck, I'm only 14, & we learned abt this in school when we were putting sum of our writing online 4 an English project. And in case U R 2 lazy 2 follow my link, Mike, this article notes that "[i]n some places, notably Ontario, Canada, libel laws are so loose that even just telling the truth can still leave one open to libel charges." So R U scared yet? No, I guess U R 2 oblivvy. After all, when U lost yr job cuz Portrait wuz afraid they'd get sued over yr stupid fashion-designer exposé, U ended up hired back as editor-in-chief (& now U don't even appreciate that). So I guess U figure something like this can only mean gd things for U, eh?

NEway, I M sure I'll yell @ U in person when I C U @ Merrie's party this afternoon. & I have a feeling I'll have more 2 say abt this whole article sitch thru Saturday as the deets dribble 2 me.



  • At 10:51 AM, Anonymous marjee mahaha said…

    Hey, April and friends! Maynard and I decided to go car shopping this morning, so we stopped by Gordon Maye's Crevasse dealership. We had a look around, but Nardo decided the 'vASSe is way too dorky. Anyway, about an hour ago, we were on our way out of the dealership and we saw Howard standing in front of the restaurant with a two women, a blonde and a redhead. The redhead seemed kinda sparkly, even fr. a distance. I was gonna say "hi" to Howard, but he and the women seemed to be having a very serious discussion and something told me they shouldn't be interrupted.

    Anyway, hope you all enjoy yr day off!


  • At 12:23 PM, Blogger Vicki Simone said…

    Top o' the afternoon 2 u, Marjee, Apes an' gang! Since Mike has that article about the Kelpfroths running again, I thought I'd c what he's been up 2 from his October letter on the Patterson family site. I just hope there r editors an' proofreaders @ the Clarion because I counted 2 mistakes: "We've completed a large catalog for the fashion industry ad have begun work on a second book of bios" was 1, an' " Mrs. Saltzman was happy to the surrogate 'bubbie' to the kids" makes no sense....lol.

    As for the play he's editing, I know Mike's been working w/my dad's cousin Pierre, an aspiring playwright. I'll bet the farm it's that musical version of "The Elephant Man" that he wants 2 call "Elephant!" and have performed by the Mborough Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Light Opera Company. @ our last family get together, Pierre showed me the logo he wanted to use--he used a block letter font.

    Hope u've recovered from cooking Turkey Day dinner, Apes! Maybe u can become a chef an' actually get paid 4 ur efforts. :-)

  • At 12:41 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    vicks, my brother's "writing" is such an embarrassment, i don't know how he manages 2 get nething published. i actually haven't seen the dumb article, so i don't know if they gave it the editing & proofing it musta needed. i hope so.

    lol abt "elephant!" u r prolly rite.

    well, i'd better finish getting ready 2 go 2 the party. it's supposta go fr. 2-4, & mom wants 2 b a bit early.


  • At 1:10 PM, Anonymous Brenda Starr said…

    The Misses Patterson and McGuire,

    I wanted to extend my pleasure at being a a guest at each of your homes during Thanksgiving dinner. Meeting both of your families was an adventure to say the least. But rest assured I am quite used to adventure.

    I wish I could offer my gratitude in person, but I have urgent business to attend to in Toronto. Already I have put thank you cards in the post addressed to your mothers.

    Rebecca, I will do my best to return in time to iron out the details of my party on Saturday. Unfortunatly I may have to set back the date of our engagement. Everything hinges on my current business in Toronto. I will let you know tomorrow at the latest if my party has been rescheduled.

    Naturally I cannot expect you to lose business waiting for me, therefore I would like to hold you on retainer for the next two weeks. I will pay our agreed upon rate for your services on this Saturday and the following, whether or not you perform. Additionally, I will give you a bonus of half your rate for performing for me on the date of the party. Should I be forced to cancel this Saturday, do feel free to book another engagement, even though I am paying you.

    Also, I hope it does not inconvience you or your mother, but I simply cannot part with Howard at this time. After our meeting with Tracey Mayes is complete we will be leaving for Toronto.

    Howard and I will be in touch soon.

    Brenda Starr

  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    ok, so i'm in the car on the way back from merrie's party. i've got my sunglasses on & i'm practicing my "surly teenager" attitude, since my 'rents have decided i'm a bit of a badarse neway. i'm posting fr. my phone, & my mom thinx i'm posting more pix 2 the lame fake blog.

    so, @ the party, besides us, there were four other little kids merrie's age w/their parents, dee's parents, and lovey, who sort of scares me. here's what i gave merrie: a cute backpack with a matching purse, cuz dee told me merrie's really in2 backpacks l8ly. oh, & liz, i made sure ma didn't stick her name on yr gift, tho she totally wanted 2. she ended up stopping off @ lilliputs & grabbing a coupla kiddie bks 4 merrie. oh, & merrie lks really cute in the t-shirt w/the mtig logo & the moccasins. mom was all, "merrie, u look just like a nicenativegirl, except blonde!"

    mike was reading his article out loud 2 every1. my 'rents, mike, & dee kept laffing w/their tongues sticking out. lovey kept cackling & yelling out things in yiddish. mira & wilf kept rolling their eyes. & the other kids' parents just looked sort of uncomfortable.

    dee got the kids doing sum arts & crafts & singing songs & playing sum board gamez like chutes & ladders. it was really cute, but dee kept sighing like doing the party was this really diff task she wish she'd outsourced. the cake was pink & merrie kept yelling "pink cake!" i think she was kinda sad when it got cut up, but then she ended up being glad cuz it was a yummy cake.

    that's all i can think of now, tho it's sort of hard 2 get my thots 2gether cuz mom & dad r singing along w/bobby curtola on the radio.


  • At 5:54 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    sorry i haven't posted all day. i slept super late an' then i had 2 clean up the house. juan did a lot of it but there wuz still plenty 2 do when every1 finally left. lucky 4 me jeremy an' gerald r here helping. ger came over around noon 2 c if there were ne leftovers 4 lunch. i guess his mom made tofu turkey surprise again. he sez these 3 day weekends frum school r ruff cuz he usually counts on the school lunches 2 fill him up. i made like 2 dozen turkey pot pies w/ the leftovers an' ger ate like 3 of them! jeremy wuz impressed even he can't eat that much. i have ger out back now picking up bowzer poop. he is still talking about yesterday like it wuz the greatest day of his whole life. he seems real eager 2 c u apes. look out he will prolly try eulalie's moves on u. i think his prozac dose must be real low now cuz he's starting 2 act spazzy again.

    well gotta go mom sez if i don't have the house clean by the time she gets back frum the shop she is gonna kick my rear. she's totally pissed about dad's big escape. not really sure y. she is in a bad mood in general cuz she an' rick r mayb gonna break up. i guess the trailer trash thanksgiving wuz 2 much 4 him.


  • At 7:06 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    wow, becks, do u think i need 2 b worried abt ger? like shd i get dunc 2 b my bodyguard 2morrow?


  • At 7:12 PM, Blogger Mary Worth said…

    i wouldn't worry 2 much it's not like the old bat told him 2 attack u. also she did tell him sum romance stuff tho i didn't hear it all. hope it's not as lame as his grandpa's ideas.


  • At 7:27 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    lol, me, 2! thanx 4 the heads-up.


  • At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Rob Wilco said…

    Hi April,

    I saw your Mom's, um, ad for your sister, and disturbed as I am by her approach, I thought I'd send Liz an email, anyway. Unfortunately she hasn't answered me, so I suppose she already met Mr. Right. I live in Boston, so I didn't hear about the ad until quite a while after it had happened, when I took the guyzos across the border for a trip to Tim Horton's.

    Anyway, if you happen to talk to Liz sometime, I think she and I might have a lot in common - we're both "owned" by a cat, ha, ha! Although I think the worst case of that I ever heard of was a guy I ran into at the vet's office - Arbuckle was his name, I think - he had a big fat orange tabby who stole his lasagna all the time. Boy, you don't forget a cat that big.

    Anytime Liz wants to swap crazy kitty stories, have her drop me a line!


  • At 9:05 AM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    hello, rob wilco. is yr cat a nice, sweet, cuddly cat, like my sister's shiimsa?


  • At 11:01 AM, Blogger A. Nonny Mous said…


    Thanks for your interest. I'm really flattered that you'd want to look me up after seeing the stupid ads my mother put out trying to "sell" me.

    I'm afraid that the adventures of Shiimsa pale in comparison to the tales you have of Bucky.

    I really am not in the market for dating right now, but again thanks for the interest. Please give both Bucky and Satchel a kiss for me. Well, not Bucky he might take your head off if you try to kiss him.

    I did get a letter and a picture of a nice fellow named Jon Arbuckle. He sent me a picture of himself and his pets. He reminded me a lot of Dad in the not so good way.


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