April's Real Blog

Monday, February 13, 2006

Moody Adults

Well, when I was @ Gramps & Iris's yesterday morning, Gramps got a buncha that red frosting on my shirt & Iris spilled tea on it! So when I got home, I changed into one of my fuzzy turtleneck sweaterz & settled in 2 write yesterday morning's blog entry. Just as I was finishing, Dad poked his head in my room again. I tried 2 throw him off whatev he was planning w/a big ol' "Hi, Pop!.....Whazzup?" Dad was, like, "Oh, nothing. I just thot we shd spend some time 2gether. Want 2 go 4 a walk?" I was all, "Sure. ... R U worried abt me or something?" Dad: "Nope... I just wanted 2 talk." Once we were outside, I asked, "R U OK, Pop?" & he was, like, "Yeah, I'm OK. ..... Y do U ask?" & I sed, "Well, ever since I b-came a teenager, U an' Mom have been kinda ... 'moody'." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him raise his browz w/that "D'oh" look of his again. U know, I totally cdn't resist the "moody" thingz, since I know what he & Mom have been sayin' abt me in their monthly letterz. Do they really think I don't read 'em? I am, like, literate, U know.

Howard sez he met a cute guy @ speed dating last nite, Guy L'Homme, & he's got other d8s lined up 2. He went w/Becky & Marjee, so I guess Marjee will write in & let us know abt her d8s, 2. . . .

Apes

posted by April Patterson @ 8:24 AM  

52 Comments:

  • At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, that wuz a good move, deflectin’ur dad by callin’ him “moody.” i know wenever my mom wunts 2 go 4 a walk & talk, it iz usually a lecture ‘bout d8ing states girlz, or gettin’ involved n prison riots, or how 2 stay outa hospital. i will hafta remembah that “moody” trick.

    just n case u & gigli r innerested, i got comp tickets 2 my dad’z m-boro valentine’z day show 4 u2 + vicki & gordie (if he’s outa hospital) + duncan + eva + becky & me. i figgered if i can get them 4 the a-girlz & the z-girlz, then i can get them 4 u guyz 2.

     

  • At 12:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Boozhoo (Hello).

    I read your writings this morning on having a conversation with your noos (father). My noos (father) has seemed moody for as long as I have known him. My ngashi (mother) says it is because he is white and Irish, which she says is a deadly combination for moods, but good for other things.

    Tomorrow I get to see your sister again. I had good fortune last night for my cake-baking. My partner and I arrested a man who had baked a poison cake to try to murder his wife. I got many recipes from him, which I have tried today, of course removing the more lethal ingredients like strychnine and arsenic. I told the man he could have a future as a baker when he gets out of prison, if he would just change his recipes a little. He seemed very happy to hear that.

    Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 1:06 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    jeremy, the valentine's concert soundz cube & ger sez he'd b in2 it, so thanx fr. both of us!

    paul, i guess we all hafta deal w/the 'rents we've got, eh?

    apes

     

  • At 1:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Howard and I are finishing up our lunch break from the salon and dishing about the dates we've set up from that speed-dating last night. That was such a blast, though Becky's a bit sore they wouldn't let a 14-year-old play along.

    Howard's first date is with the hunky Guy L'Homme, who's very manly. He also has dates with men named Phil Harmonic, Matt Trimonial, and Jim Nastic.

    My first date is going to be with the guy that Becks and Howard liked the best. He's a Senegalese guy named Hamidou M'Baye. He's very cute, kind of like this guy, but taller. That's tonight. Wednesday, I'm going out with a guy named Beau Dacious, who's a real hottie. Friday, I'm seeing Art Nouveau, who's a little out there, and Saturday, it's Ben Zedrine, who is cute but maybe a little over-energetic. But I'm trying to withhold judgment until I've been out with each guy.

    Well, we'd better get back before Sugar comes looking for us.

    Marjee

     

  • At 1:29 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    I am so looking for to my date with Guy L’Homme. He wants me to wear a very frilly, girly dress for our date tonight.

    An interesting thing happened at Sugar’s hair salon today, which I thought you might want to hear. Your mother stopped in for a shamp-Oh, which she has been doing more frequently now that she is retired (or close to being retired. I am never sure.). She said, “Young people today. I don’t know what gets into them. When I was growing up, we had manners. We knew how to respect our elders. If an old person told a bad joke, you knew to laugh with your tongue sticking out as a matter of respect. But the young people today don’t know respect. I am constantly telling jokes or ripping off a particularly good pun, and I get stares. No sticky-out tongue laughter.” I said, “I am sorry to hear that, Mrs. Patterson.”

    She continued, “Just this weekend, I went to a party sponsored by my good friend Cora Dithers and I saw that Cora had taken pity on my daughter’s friend Becky, by hiring her to do the music. Well, I thought it was appropriate to give Becky a compliment, even though I am not all that fond of her music, and she said some very foul things to me, like she was a man from military service. I know I should understand this behaviour, because Becky is a pampered only child, whose allergies make her even more prone to her mom's over protectiveness. Still, it was very upsetting. She actually used the V-word with me.” I said, “Varicose?” She said, “No Howard. The V-word for a woman’s parts.” I said, “Oh.”

    She continued, “Well my husband John was very upset and he had a few words with Cora Dithers about the quality of her hired entertainment. I don’t think she will hire Becky again. But John was mainly upset because some of the things that Becky told me were very personal--the types of things that only a family member could know.” I said, “Like what?” Elly said, “Like she mentioned that John had recently purchased a new train set.” I said, “Oh.”

    Elly said, “John couldn’t figure out how she had heard that. Then he remembered that our daughter went with him on his trip to the city when he got his new train. So, he thought that our daughter must have told her, but I told John that our daughter rarely talks to Becky anymore. So, then John noticed that our daughter was working on the computer and started asking me all these questions about how we monitor our daughter on the computer. It was confusing to me, because our daughter has been using the computer for years and he had never mentioned monitoring anything before. However, I eventually saw where John was going. He must be convinced that Becky McGuire was posing as someone else on the computer, like a dangerous person or ugly website, and lured our daughter into giving her inside information on our family. It makes me sad to think about it, that the sweet little pampered only child that used to play at our house is now gathering information to use against me at parties.” I said, “Dr. Patterson told you this?” Your mom said, “Well not in so many words, but it was obvious to me. I know my husband very well.” I said, “It could be possible that your daughter and Becky McGuire speak together more often than you think.” Your mother said, “Howard. That’s not possible. I know my daughter very well.”

    That was how the conversation went. I thought you might be interested.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    howard, my mom is so freekee! but that's not newz, eh? lol on the idea of becks posing as sum1 else online so i'll give her sekritz about dad's train purchases! that's so st00pid.

    apes

    p.s. there'z a sign on the yrbook office abt a v. special mtg. will post l8r abt it when i know what's up.

     

  • At 3:05 PM, Blogger Anne said…

    Thanx, Jeremy! It'll b cool 2 hang w/you and Becks & Apes & Ger. Gordie's out of the hospital & walking again. It's just strange that Dr. Klebrige-Fingernagel is encouraging him 2 drink. When Gordie asked him, he told him that alcohol kills bacteria. Okay....

    Gd luck on those dates, Marjee! I remember the brush w/greatness u had when u went on that date w/ Al B. Sure. He was performing @ a concert n Toronto, I think.

    Vicks

     

  • At 3:46 PM, Blogger Anne said…

    Okay, here's the course description I copied & pasted from my mom's file:

    Do you feel you have a fresh perspective on life's goings-on? Did you look at a building today and wonder what's going on inside? Is there an event, a person, an idea that you think has been misunderstood, misinterpreted, under-appreciated? If so, come and investigate with me. We will spend the quarter doing our best to write out of that paper bag that is made up of our curiosity, our observations and our prejudices. The best creative non-fiction explains, but it also makes us run to learn more about the subject. We will investigate dreams, as they are the most direct window to the subconscious mind. We will have a special emphasis on humor, perhaps the most difficult type of writing to pull off. We'll look at different definitions and styles of humor, from Woody Allen's to Mark Twain's to, with good fortune, your own. We will be reading some of the best magazine and newspaper writing of the last century, (maybe my mom'll use yr bro's work as an example...lol) and hopefully be writing some stuff like it as well. We will talk about essays, arts reviews, general features and even sportswriting. Students will be required to write at least two pieces of magazine length (2000 words or so) and several shorter pieces. The longer pieces will be presented to the class for workshop criticism.

    I hope yr mom knows what she's in 4, specially w/the workshop part of the class. Assuming it's yr mom, of course. I dunno know how yr mom handles criticism (even the polite, helpful kind), so this class could b entertaining! I can't wait 2 read some of her writing.

    Vicks

     

  • At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am very upset.

    Today, three valentines arrived in the mail. Two of them were from Paul. One was for me, and the other one was for Shiimsa. They looked exactly the same, and he wrote "Love, Paul" inside both of them! Paul apparently rubbed catnip all over Shiimsa's valentine, though, because Shiimsa stole it, ran to my bed with it, and proceeded to roll around with it until the card was quite tattered.

    I put my valentine from Paul in a drawer. Whether I am doing this because I am saving it as a precious keepsake, or because I am too angry to look at it, is hard to say.

    The third valentine was a big homemade paper card. It said "I LOV YU TICSHER! FRUM JESSE MUKWA." I was so pleased because not only is the card very sweet, but Jesse spelled his name right on the card. I called Jesse up to thank him, and I invited him to come over on Valentine's Day tomorrow and spend some quality time with me. I am sure Paul and Shiimsa will be far too busy to mind.

    Liz

    P.S.--If Paul brings cake, I do not know what I will do. I am afraid to eat something he learned from a criminal, especially when he says he left out "the more lethal ingredients." Did he leave in the less lethal ones? I wish he would not learn things from criminals. It makes me nervous.

     

  • At 4:30 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    so, we had this v. weird yrbook mtg this afternoon. instead hi perspastick leading the mtg, it was that guy cameron mitchell who useta kinda hang with alex love. xcept he wasn't in his wheelchair! he's not special needs, he's not a student, & cameron mitchell's not even his real name. he's, like, a narc, & his name is really ben browder. he was, like, undercover @ r.p. boire as a special-needs student cuz sum sn orgs were, like, suspicious abt sum stuff goin' on here.

    so, after this ben guy told us this stuff, he sed that hi perspastick won't b back. he's relocated sumwhere near corbeil, apparently. sum of u mite remember that eva, alex, & i had been lookin' @ hi perspastick's old yrbook fr. east bumbleforque, bc, where he was class of '65. he had a classmate named lynn ridgeway. apparently, lynn ridgeway l8r became lynn johnston, of the johnston institute. yeah, that lynn johnston. she & hi were sorta friendz, i guess u cd say. they didn't d8, tho hi had a bit of a crush on her. she never wanted 2 d8 him cuz he was this big jock type & lynn didn't approve of team sports. she talked him in2 joining an organization known as snep, which is supposta b "special needs elevation program", but the peeps this ben guy works with suspect it cd b "special needs elimination program."

    poor hi jumped thru hoopz 4 lynn 4 yrs & she kinda transformed him in2 the spazzy dork we knew him as. & it was a waste 4 him since she ended up married 2 a dentist just like my mom did.

    neway, after ben laid out this bground info, he told us that he'd sorta manipulated alex love in2 covering special-needs events 4 yrbook. "i used sum old-fashioned social engineering 4 that", he sed. b4 alex made that request, the yrbook, like, ignored sn students' activities. there was, like, a teeny-tiny supplement they useta send just 2 the famz of the sn kidz.

    when alex got hi 2 let her b the 1 who covered sn-needz 4 yrbook, hi gave her a memo. ben made copiez & gave it out 2 us:

    To: Alexandra Love
    Fr: Mr. Hi Perspastick, Yearbook Adviser
    Re: Coverage of "Special Needs" Students' Events
    Dt: Wednesday, January 25, 2006

    Congratulations, Ms. Love! You have been chosen for the honour of covering the "Special Needs" students' events for the R. P. Boire Secondary School Yearbook during the 2005-2006 academic year. You will be solely responsible for the photography and text submitted to me in regard to these events.

    Please keep in mind that with this special honour comes special rules and responsibilities. As you must be aware, the "special needs" population has special needs in the way our yearbook staff represents their activities to the general population. As such, keep the following guidelines in mind:

    1. SN students are constantly in the midst of a heroic battle that mainstream students cannot even begin to fathom. Yearbook staff must accurately depict this struggle by faithfully documenting it. In particular, think about capturing "the agony of defeat", as this is most likely to capture the quintessence of these students' struggles.

    2. With the aforementioned in mind, choose dramatic camera angles and, when possible, extreme close-ups to capture this essential struggle SN students face (in particular in those "agony" moments that are sure to capture the general population's hearts).

    3. Remember that each and every SN student is a surprise package waiting to be opened. Remember to emphasize the most surprising images you can find to help endear this very special students to the R. P. Boire community.

    4. Keep in mind that I, as yearbook advisor, retain the right and responsibility to alter images and edit text as I see fit.
    ..................................................................

    he xplained that tho the memo tried 2 b nicey-nicey abt it, the goal was that alex was supposta make the sn kidz seem as pathetic as poss, like take pix when they're like tripping over themselvez or makin' mistakes.

    tho hi had scooped up that ol' yrbook of his, i'd scanned the whole thing b4 he had a chance. alex had copied all thoze filez on2 her laptop & shared 'em w/ben, who followed up on the connection w/the witch of corbeil. 1 of the thingz ben & his org wanted 2 know abt was y shannon lake seemed 2 b an outcast even fr. the other sn kidz. y she was, like, so anxious 2 have me pay ne kinda attention 2 her. he ended up finding secret communication between "lj" & hi, where "lj" wanted shannon as needy as poss so that when i even paid a teensy weensy bit of attention 2 her, she'd b s00per grateful, & i'd seem like a saintly, perfect patterson. cuz that's, like, 1 of the johnston institute's ongoing goalz, making the pattersons seem, like, better than ever1 else.

    so, like, hi got in2 the 'puter system & got that justin program 2 tell the other sn kidz that shannon was badmouthing them. then after a while, no1 but justin was talkin' 2 her, so shannon kinda fell in luv w/justin, & i think most peeps here know the rest. like i sed, the mtg was weird.

    we're gonna b getting another yrbook advisor soon, but the school hasn't yet decided who it'll b. of course, cindilu sera tonin & lorraine shoobie r already having a big fite over who it shd b.

    apes

     

  • At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, like rebeccah sed n her post, 2morrow nite she & i will b @my dad’z concert w/u, gigli, vicki, gordie, duncan & eva, w/backstage passes & stuff & u get 2 meet my dad, which i don’t think ne of u have done, but rebeccah & i will b cuttin’ out aftah the concert 4 a romantic destination thass just the 2 of us. just so u know & gigli duzn’t get ne ideaz i am takin’ him w/me like wen he horned n on rebeccah & me goin’ 2 the zoo that tyme, eh?

     

  • At 4:38 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    vicks, omg, i hope yr mom doesn't use ne of my bro's writing as xamplez, unless they're like xamplez of what not 2 do, lol! i have a feeling my mom is gonna have a lotta trub w/the criticizm she gets in the workshops.

    liz, mayB paul made the valentine's the same b-cuz he wanted 2 make xtra sure shiimsa wdn't get jellus? i know he'z been trying xtra hard w/that. i doubt he wanted 2 make u feel unspecial.

    it's gd that jesse can spell his own name, but (pls don't get mad @ me 4 askin') shdn't he know how 2 spell those other words 2? & rn't u worried u mite give him the wrong idea if u spend "quality time" w/him?

    jeremy, ger & i r also goin' off by ourselvez after the concert. cd u remind me what time the concert starts?

    apes

     

  • At 4:52 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I appreciate your concern about my reflecting on my mistakes before I start dating again, but my problem is that it is difficult to think coherently when it has been so long since I got any. I know you are my bud, but there are certain things you cannot provide for me and Guy L’Homme looked very fine to me. He was definitely a manly man.

    As for seeking revenge on the John Patterson, there are 2 good reasons why you should not do this:
    1. April is your best friend and he is her dad.
    2. The business with the R.P. Boire yearbook tells me the Johnston Institute for Better Living has taken a personal interest in the Pattersons, i.e. “One of the Johnston Institute's ongoing goals is making the Pattersons seem better than everyone else.”

    Seeking revenge seems to me like the opposite of the Johnston Institute goal, and frankly, just the idea of having to deal with the Johnston Institute scares the bejeezus out of me. You know I would rather you skip the revenge thing and grow up to be the beautiful, talented woman you are meant to be, than do the revenge thing and spend the rest of your life as a dog. I am sure you would be a cute dog, but it would have a devastating effect on your career. Nobody hires Lassie for her singing.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 5:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Thank you for trying to make me feel better, but I can read the truth in Shiimsa's smug looks. She knows she has the upper hand. I finished Cats for Dummies, The Idiot's Guide to Cats, and Cats for Total Morons Like You. Now it's almost like I can read Shiimsa's mind. And what she is thinking is, "I won."

    Jesse's spelling is very good for a child of his age. You need to stop applying your biased white (wo)man's standards to the Native children. Jesse needs to spend equal time learning both in the white man's school and in his own Native culture. You would not think Jesse was a bad student if you could see that he is practically an expert at checking a trap line, taking care of his auntie, and smoking fish with his mishomis. It is just English grammar, math, science, and reading comprehension where he has problems.

    What do you think I should do if Paul brings a cake? I am too scared to eat his evil bad-guy recipes. Sometimes I wish I were dating a guy with a less dangerous job, like accounting.

    Liz

     

  • At 5:31 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    liz, mayb u cd let jesse b yr taster, eh? ok, that sounded really bad. u cd ask paul 2 write out the recipe 4 u cuz u like 2 collect recipes (which is true neway). then look it over & make sure there's nothing scaree in there?

    becks, i think yr b-ing s00per-successful wd b the best revenge against my dad. & even if mrs. dithers doesn't wanna rec. u 2 peeps, she had a lotta guests who cd hear u w/their own earz & no doubt they will wanna book u cuz they know u r good.

    apes

     

  • At 5:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    HA! NOW THAT LIZ PERSON HAS READ THE EVIL TROIKA OF CAT PSYCHOLOGY BOOKS, I CAN TAKE OVER HER MIND WITH MY TELEPATHY WHENEVER I WANT!! HAHA HA HA HA! STUPID HUMAN FOOL! SHE FELL RIGHT INTO MY TRAP!

    AND SOON HER BOYFRIEND WILL BE MINE...ALL MINE! BWAH HA HA HA HA!

    YOU KNOW ME AS SHIIMSA. "LITTLE ANIMAL FRIEND" MY ASS! MY TRUE NAME IS

    ANGRA MAINYU

    WHICH MEANS "SOURCE OF ALL EVIL AND DARKNESS"!

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

     

  • At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, the tyme iz on the comp tickets just n case u 4get. neway, the concert tyme iz 7 pm & the show runz 'bout 2 hourz. it soundz like ur sis iz whacked.

    the yrbook stuff. april, omg. it iz scary stuff.

    lemme c if i unnerstan’ this correctly. ur dealing w/3 creepy peeps:

    1. that cameron mitchell guy that ale… my ex-gf used 2 go ‘bout w/c-ing hockey w/him & othah thingz i don’t care 2 mention. that cameron guy iz a undercover narc named ben browder. wut a sleaze. my ex-gf iz only 14 yearz old & he’z an adult & they were doin’ stuff 2gethah. well, i know they were kissin’ @least. so this sleazy cameron guy manipul8ed my ex-gf n2 coverin’ special needz! i know wut that sleazebag meanz by “old-fashioned social engineering”. he meanz he tuk advantage of a 14-year-old girl. that makes me rilly mad.

    2. mr. perspastick wuz a membah of a group called special needz elevation program, but it cud b special needs elimination program, sez the sleazy ex-cameron guy. so, cuz he was n this elimination program group thing, he did 3 things: (1) he kept the sn kidz mostly outa the yrbook. (2) he wunted my ex-gf 2 make the sn kidz seem az pathetic az poss az wen she did pics of them (3) he rigged shannon lake’s computer program so she wudn’t have ne friendz, so it wud make u luk gud. thass rilly mean 2 shannon. shannon may bug me sumtymez, but 4 a teach 2b mean like that. that makes me rilly mad.

    3. lynn johnston of the johnston institute wunt u2 luk like a saintly, perfect patterson wen ur nice 2 shannon lake. ur alreddy a saintly, perfect patterson. i nevah cu do nething wrong. it iz v.v. confusing. how wud ne1 evn know that ur a saintly, perfect patterson wen ur nice 2 shannon? only shannon & u know & us who read ur real blog. it’s not like there r 1000’s of peeps payin’ attention 2 everything u do every day. y wud the johnston institute evn care how u luk? if they’re so concerned ‘bout that, then where were they wen u had thoze nasty zits?

    it rilly makes me scared 4u april. how ru handlin’ it? do u needta talk 2 ne1 ‘bout it?

     

  • At 5:43 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    omg, what was that all abt?!?!?!

    apes

    p.s. becks, yeah, i think u r rite abt peeps havin' 2 c dad itching & scratching.

     

  • At 5:45 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    It has been over a month since I got some. A month 1 week 2 days and 14 hours to be precise. I am tired of lifting weights. Besides after you lift weights you are supposed to allow your muscles a chance to heal, and because I have been going without some for over a month, there has not been a lot of healing. I am going to see Guy L’Homme in an hour, and unless things go really, really badly, he’s going to be a lucky Guy.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 5:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Your idea about asking for the recipes is a good one. I am trying to think of how to say,

    "This is so good! Can I have the recipe? Like, right now?"

    before I taste the cake, yet without sounding suspicious.

    Did you like that Shiimsa post? Sometimes, when she stares deep into my eyes, she gives me the funniest ideas! It's been happening a lot since I finally learned some stuff about cats. I think it's a sign that we have really connected.

    Liz

     

  • At 5:50 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    jeremy, yeah, i think u have a pretty gd handle on the sitch & i'm pretty confused abt the whole johnston institute thing w/makin' me seem perfect. i don't really have answerz 2 thoze q's u ask abt how ne1 wd know or care abt me seeming saintly. but i do get weird feelingz that lotsa peeps r, like, aware of what i'm doin'. i know that makes me seem all crayzee. the zits? i dunno, mayB that was supposta teach me sum lesson abt not feelin' 2 full of myself? confusing, yeah.

    talkin' abt all this stuff w/sum1 wd help cuz it's not like i can say nething 2 my moody 'rents, eh?

    apes

     

  • At 5:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Angra Mainyu,

    I got a call from your aunt April, telling me you had troubles. Vivian and Gary Crane are coming to help you. Do not resist them, and they will not hurt you with their frying pans. They have a key to your apartment, so you cannot lock them out. You won’t get your tuna cake when I come tomorrow, if you cause any trouble.

    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 5:55 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks, i think that was, like, "elimination" as in getting rid of peeps, not, like, their poopy habits.

    apes

     

  • At 5:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Help! Viv and Gary just broke into my apartment! I grabbed Shiimsa and we ran away. We're hiding in the school, and I'm posting on their computer. They've gone crazy! Send the police! Help!

    Liz

     

  • At 5:58 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    hm, liz, that post scared me a bit. . . .

    as 4 askin' abt the recipe in advance, well, u cd just say u assume the cake will b v. gd, so pls bring it w/u. & then u read it b4 having ne cake cuz u r just that interested in recipes, eh?

    apes

     

  • At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Whew!

    Well, I called the local constable, but before they could arrive, I went to the grocery store and ran into one of the most revered village elders, Elder Speaks Truth. He is Billy Strongblood's uncle.

    I said, "Elder, please help me. My boss and his wife, who used to be my friends, broke into my apartment this afternoon. They had frying pans. They tried to kill my cat. Can you please help me talk to them?"

    He agreed to do so. We are about to sit down in a talking circle with Viv and Gary now. I just wanted to let you know we are OK.

    Liz

     

  • At 6:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That meeting went very quickly.

    Elder Truth said, "Why did you enter Growling Bear's apartment without permission?"

    And Gary and Viv looked at each other and said, "Her boyfriend called and told us--"

    And Elder Truth said, "Aah! Say no more! It was a part of a Valentine's Day prank! I am very fond of those myself. Let us agree that there will be no more pranks involving sneaking into each other's apartments without permission."

    We agreed, and then Elder Truth said, "I have to go. I have an idea for a prank to play on my wife."

    Liz

     

  • At 6:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Paul,

    If you did in fact tell Viv and Gary to break into my apartment with frying pans to do something to my poor baby Shiimsa, then I am very angry with you. VERY angry.

    Liz

     

  • At 6:16 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    No, I didn’t get any butt sex from Dennis. He was a friend and a dance partner and his parents thought I was scum. The last time was with Everett and that was before he started going out with Marjee and Jennifer. Also, why are you calling me slutty? That’s not very nice. A month is a long time. My body is screaming at me that it’s a really long time. However, let me thank you for the Valentine’s gift. I could use a refresher in tantric celibacy. It’s like tantric massage, eh?

    Howard K.

     

  • At 6:24 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    When I was with Brenda Starr, you had no problem with my sex life, but now that I am dating men again, you think I am promiscuous. I live with you and we see each other every day after you get home from the bakery until you go to sleep at night. I am not sure how much more "buddy time" we can get. What is really going on here, Becky?

    Howard K.

     

  • At 6:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Elizabeth,

    Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!

    I read your writings. I am happy my sweet girl is all right. After I work my shift tonight, I will travel to Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) to see you tomorrow. My partner has assured me that my cake recipes do not have any poisonous items in them and that they are quite tasty. I also have a special treat. One of my relatives in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) is an animal shaman, who is especially adept with his chosen totem, the cat. Shiimsa is going to have a great time for Valentine’s Day. Trust me.

    As for Gary and Vivian Crane, I think we just had a misunderstanding. Please don’t blame them for my poor communication skills.

    Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 6:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, if u want me 2 come ovah 2 talk 'bout this yrbook stuff, i can b rite ovah. it freaked me out & it wuzn't evn 'bout me. i can't imagine wut ur goin' thru.

     

  • At 6:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Paul,

    I am awaiting your visit with something like excitement, only not as exciting.

    However, I do not like the plan to send Shiimsa with a shaman. Shiimsa is one of my valentines too, you know. You are not the only one. Shiimsa and I want to spend the day with you together.

    Shiimsa and I are busy making a surprise for you right now!

    Liz

     

  • At 6:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, i like the fact u called me ur bf & sed u wanted 2 marry me. howevah, april iz n a real crisis. she needz her bff ovah here talkin' 2 her. i am no gud @this stuff. the yrbook thing rilly freaked her & she needz u.

     

  • At 6:51 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I you need to talk about the stuff with your dad some more, I will cancel on Guy L’Homme. You are my bud, and if you need to talk, that is more important. Also, you are not alone all the time. I am in the room right next to you. You need to unlock the door, so I don’t have to keep knocking.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 6:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Elizabeth,

    Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!

    I read your writings. I see you misunderstand me. My nda-nwendaaganag (relative), the animal shaman would not be taking Shiimsa away with him. He has some special Ojibway techniques to enhance the relationship between man, woman and cat. Shiimsa will love it.

    Aside from the time with my nda-nwendaaganag (relative) and us together, I plan to spend the whole day with you after you get out of school.

    Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 6:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, april & i r gonna luk 4u. she sed eddie & dixie r rilly gud @findin' lost peeps.

     

  • At 7:00 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    Where did you go? Guy L'Homme has agreed to help me look for you. He's really good looking, I mean is a good looker.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 7:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Paul,

    The enhancement of the man/woman/cat relationship sounds good to me. Is that like a family counseling session? Because I sometimes think Shiimsa and I have issues that could really benefit from a counseling session or two.

    I am helping Shiimsa make a special valentine for you right now. It is going to be very exciting to see your face when you get it!

    Like, Liz

     

  • At 7:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    rebeccah, gr8. now april iz cryin' cuz her bff duzn't wanna help her n her tyme of need. i h8 it wen she criez. if ur gonna run away frum home, cud u come ovah 2 april'z house 4 awhile b4 u do it.

     

  • At 7:16 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    Guy read your last note and was a little miffed. "I am Quebecois, not a vulgar French. Your young friend is clearly homophobic. I am leaving." So, I am still looking for you. Running away from home is not a good idea. It is very cold outside.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 7:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Elizabeth,

    Kaa-mesnin gwanaaj oshki-ikwe! (I miss you, beautiful one)!

    I read your writings. I supposed you could call it family counseling of sorts. My nda-nwendaaganag (relative), the animal shaman is closer to an animal psychic with Ojibway sensibilities. He has been known to heal many rifts between animals and their owners.

    Gawaabmin miinwa (Hope to see you again soon)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger howard said…

    Becky,

    I am glad you are all right. I'll wait to talk to you when you get back. I have to lift some weights now.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 7:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i am so glad rebeccah iz here. i am no good w/cryin' girlz.

     

  • At 7:35 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    becks & jeremy & i r hanging out in the living rm havin' a snack now. we r both tellin' becks she'z v. imp. 2 us & like the cubest person we know. becks & i have both stopped crying & jeremy seemz v. relieved.

    apes

     

  • At 7:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Becky, do you want me to reschedule my date with Hamidou M'Baye? I think he'd understand. Family comes first!

    Marjee

     

  • At 7:49 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    Hey, Apes! I havent cn ne1 2day 'cos Ive bn hiding out in the library doing the homework I didnt do ovr the weekend. Bajans sure do no how 2 partee.

    Thank u 4 that cube poem 4 Kimmi an' thank u, Howie, 4 that cube poem 4 the sister. I mailed them by xpress post this am so theyll get 2 Ottawa on time. There so gr8 that I think u shld put them in ARB 2morrow 4 VD.

    I got a note in my locker fr Jer abt comps 4 a VD partee 2morrow sounds cube 2 me. Got 2 go an' read abt evry1s weekend.

    L8r.

    MCDunC

     

  • At 7:58 PM, Blogger duncan anderson said…

    OMG. I think redd hott bajan mama mite b my mom.

    L8r. Much l8r.

     

  • At 9:18 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    we've been eating chocciez & watching sum of becks' favourtie showz on tv. marjee came over when becks called her up & asked her 2. she sez she rescheduled her d8 w/hamidou m'baye.

    dunc, yeah, i have a feeling u r rite abt redd hott bajan mama. i'll post the poem 2morrow. i'm glad u liked it.

    apes

     

  • At 1:21 AM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    Well I was lifting weights and waiting for Becky to come home so we could have that talk she wanted to have. Then when she did finally come home, she went straight to her room and said, “You didn’t come to April’s house. I guess muscles are more important 2 you than your own true love.” Then she shut and locked the door and refused to open it when I knocked and called to her. It was very frustrating. I even made my special hot chocolate and sat near the door, so the smell would go under it, but she did not budge.

    I am glad things are going better with you and that Marjee and Jeremy were successful in helping you calm down. I guess Duncan wants me to post that poem to Kimmi I wrote in the car taking him home after Becky’s dad got married. I will have to see if I can find a copy. It will help me take my mind off Guy L’Homme. I tried to reschedule my date with him, like Marjee rescheduled her date with Hamidou M'Baye. When I got a hold of Guy he said, “Any person who has homophobes for friends is not in my future.” I think I need a new weight set. This one isn’t heavy enough.

    Howard K.

     

  • At 1:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, ur v.v. cube. thanx 4 talkin' rebeccah outa breakin' up w/me. iou.

     

  • At 2:25 AM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    Becky and I have had a good talk about her dad and other stuff, while drinking some of my hot chocolate. Becky has a weakness for my hot chocolate, and I do too. She told me she thought I was being very "moody" and I apologized for not spending as much time with her as I could. I like spending time with my bud. I think that even Zeus and Apollo have forgiven me for taking off their tuxedos.

    Howard K.

     

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