Trust
So, a few nites back, after Dad's inquisition abt what I was doin' on the 'puter? & Mom's comment 2 him abt bein' agitated? Well, I kinda crept up behind them after they went in2 the kitchen & I listened in. I heard Dad askin' Mom, "When April is on the computer, Elly..., where does she go?" Mom sed, "I have an idea, but I don't know xactly!" Dad went on w/"Does she visit ugly web sites" Does she play violent games? Is she chatting w/dangerous ppl & looking @..." B4 Dad had a chance 2 finish saying the "looking @" part, Mom cut in w/"I'm sure she knowz what's in cyberspace, John." 2 bad abt the cutting off. I'd B mad curious 2 know what Dad's worried I mite B lookin' @, eh? "Xtreme B*ndage Choo-choo Naughty Nymphs"? NEway, Mom continued: "Then, what's keeping us fr. monitoring everything she does?!!" & Mom sed "Trust." Which wd B v. cube if this weren't coming fr. sumbody who got Michael 2 teach her how 2 snoop on my IM transcripts. So where do U think this is all going, peeps? I hope I won't hafta B tellin' U more abt this on Monday, but I have a bad feeling.
Speaking of bad feelingz, I have a feeling there R lotsa hung over & generally queasy peeps fr. the wedding last nite. 4 thoze of U who didn't hear, Becks' dad, Thorvald, didn't end up marrying "KK" after all, but married that Icelandic chick Thora. Hey, their namez R v. v. matchy, Rn't they? Thorvald & Thora. Cute!
Becks has that Dithers party 2day, & Dunc's gonna B in TO 4 the weekend. I'm supposta meet Ger @ Horny Tim's @ 3 this afternoon. We still on, Ger? Well, better go, cuz Blogger is flakin' already. . . .
Apes
BTW, 170 comments last nite! An ARB record!!!
Speaking of bad feelingz, I have a feeling there R lotsa hung over & generally queasy peeps fr. the wedding last nite. 4 thoze of U who didn't hear, Becks' dad, Thorvald, didn't end up marrying "KK" after all, but married that Icelandic chick Thora. Hey, their namez R v. v. matchy, Rn't they? Thorvald & Thora. Cute!
Becks has that Dithers party 2day, & Dunc's gonna B in TO 4 the weekend. I'm supposta meet Ger @ Horny Tim's @ 3 this afternoon. We still on, Ger? Well, better go, cuz Blogger is flakin' already. . . .
Apes
BTW, 170 comments last nite! An ARB record!!!
posted by April Patterson @ 7:55 AM
15 Comments:
At 1:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
Thank god my husband's gone away for the weekend. He and our son are in Toronto for one of their cousin's birthdays. I was supposed to go with them, but I begged off, saying that I have too much paperwork from work to finish, which isn't really true. I just want to relax and take the opportunity to reconnect with my online friends. My computer's been in the shop for a month now. You would think that it wouldn't take so long to repair, but apparently they're waiting on a part from India. My son gets cranky if I'm on his computer for more than 3 minutes, so here's my chance.
The tension between myself and Nigel is almost unbearable. He's angry at me for my restaurant investment, and I'm angry at him for talking too freely to the police and getting our son charged over something silly. We do love each other though, so I'm hopeful that we can work this through. I think that I'm going to suggest marriage counselling to him when he returns.
I ran into Milborough's Most Annoying Citizen this morning while I was doing some grocery shopping. She was buying a heart-shaped mould and red food colouring. She claims she's baking a Valentine's Day cake for her father. I would bet that she's going to make her poor daughter do it. Another blessing: I didn't have to speak to her for longer than five minutes, and she didn't ask me to schedule another cooking lesson.
I'll post again later, but it's time for a nice relaxing whirlpool bath.
M.
At 1:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
Oh, dear. This doesn't seem to be the Toronto-Rochester Friendship List. I can't delete my previous comment. Please ignore it, whoever you are. I apologize for cluttering your list. Have a nice day.
At 1:47 PM,
April Patterson said…
aw, man, i think that was dunc's mom talkin' abt runnin' in2 my mom @ the grocery. i'll bet it's true that i'm gonna b the 1 who hasta bake a cake 4 gramps. grrrr.
apes
(then mom will prolly eat the cake neway.)
At 2:51 PM,
April Patterson said…
comment glitch
At 6:09 PM,
April Patterson said…
aw, my poor little blog is going thru comment withdrawal 2day!
i had fun hangin' out w/ger @ horny t's. he was all apologiez 4 the hangin' on becks & the pukin' on me last nite.
apes
At 6:42 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i finished doing rebeccah’z wire repairs 4 her 2 do the dithers open house party 2nite. stayed up all nite 2 get it 2 work. thoze electrified rodents did not miss a thing. every last external wire chewed or eaten. i hadta luk up sum wiring web sites 2 learn how 2 fix sum of that equipment. thoze websites are ugly. a lotta text & not v.friendly.
rebeccah left this morning b4 mom let me outa the basement. mom sed her nailz looked rilly gud & i shud remembah 2 compliment her on them.
well, i am here @the dithers w/the equipment setup w8ing 4 rebeccah 2 show 4 a sound check. while i wuz w8ing i thot i would play sum violent gamez. u know, the one ur dad showed us that tyme, w/hello kitty vs. king kong iz rilly kinda cube n a sorta black way. u mite like it, since u have thoze goth aspirationz.
i don’t wanna chat w/mr. dithers. he seemz like a dangerous peep 2 me. i am keepin’ my umbrella w/me & i evn have a spare.
At 7:04 PM,
howard said…
April,
Becky came home this morning after sleeping at Jeremy’s house looking refreshed and her nails were done. I was quite surprised. I said, “I didn’t know your relationship with Jeremy had progressed to nails.” She said it was Jeremy’s mom. She woke up Becky and gave her a nice breakfast and apparently a few compliments about being so much better than Jeremy’s previous girlfriend. Becky thinks she is happy that Jeremy came home without any injuries, which I suppose is an improvement in their relationship.
I am glad that Becky got some sleep. I may have to sleep at Jeremy’s house tonight. Thora and Thorvald never stopped going at it and in fact are still going at it. Except for a break where they raided Becky’s refrigerator for leftover mead and hangikjöt, the moaning has been continuous. I asked Thorvald how long it would go on and he simply replied, “Until 14 days passed or the Thora was impregnated, whichever occurred first.” That was not good news for me.
Fortunately for me, I still have my work at Sugar’s salon to keep me busy. Marjee Mahaha was in quite a mood. When I walked in, looking very tired, and with sore muscles from trying to lift weights to distract me from Thora and Thorvald’s noises, she said, “You were with her, weren’t you?” I said, “With whom?” Marjee said, “You know who I mean.” I hope she wasn’t considering the possibility that I might have been invited for a 3-way with Thora and Thorvald. Sugar came over to me and said, “You two are such a nice-looking couple. It’s sad when you are fighting. Why don’t you go over and apologize to Marjee?” I said, “For what?” Sugar said, “Listen, Howard. Being a man, I know there are limits to your understanding. Just go over and apologize and pretend you know what you are apologizing for.” I said, “All right. If you think that will help.”
I went over to Marjee and said, “I’m sorry.” Marjee said, “For what?” I said, “For whatever you are mad at me about.” Marjee said, “You mean you did sleep with her?” I said, “Thora?” Marjee said, “You slept with Thora, on her wedding day. You’re worse than I thought.” I said, “I didn’t sleep with Thora.” Marjee said, “Well, then, who did you sleep with?” I said, “I didn’t sleep with anyone.” Marjee said, “Then why are you apologizing?” I said, “Sugar said it was a good idea.” Marjee said, “You slept with Sugar?” I said, “No. I didn’t sleep with anyone. In fact, I didn’t sleep at all last night.” Marjee said, “You were too busy to sleep?” I said, “Well it was too noisy.” Marjee said, “So she makes a lot of noise, does she?” I said, “Well they both do.” Marjee said, “You were with two women?” I said, “No. Thora and Thorvald. They were making all the noise. I was trying to get some sleep.” Marjee said, “I thought you told me you didn’t sleep with Thora.” I said, “That’s right. I didn’t sleep with Thora.” Marjee said, “So you were with Thorvald?” I said, “No. I was in my own place. Thora and Thorvald were in the other room, and they were so noisy I couldn’t get any sleep, so I lifted weights instead. All night. Lifting and waiting for them to go to sleep, but they never did.” Marjee said, “Poor baby. You can sleep at my place tonight.” I said, “That is very kind of you. If Thora and Thorvald are still going at it, I will definitely take you up on that offer.” As it appears now, I will probably be at Marjee’s place.
Howard K.
At 7:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings this morning on your father’s concern over your computer activity. I know you view your dad as a nuisance. Most daughters do. In my job, my experience favours the vigilant parent. Many of the persons arrested for computer sex crime try to take advantage of the inexperience of young people. We have set up sting operations many times using tips from parents who were paying attention to someone trying to lure their child into a dangerous situation. Your mother’s comment is also correct. She trusts that if you suspect a person of trying a computer sex crime with you, you will report it to her immediately. Your mother and father are trying to protect you, because they love you. Your sister loves you too.
As for ugly web sites and violent games, studies have shown no link between them and juvenile delinquency. Children who look at pretty websites and play nicer games are just as likely to commit a crime. However, I know many parents believe there is a relationship. Just the other day, my partner and I had brought in a young man we caught putting graffiti on the wall of a building. His mother believed it was because he had been visiting ugly websites. So, I sat the young man down and showed him some websites that were very pretty, so it will help him improve his art. The graffiti was bad, very ugly. It was gratifying to hear the young man say, “You are the coolest cop, evah.” I have a great job.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 7:42 PM,
April Patterson said…
paul, i wonder if my dad's afraid i've been here. i dunno. i don't do nething nasty online. but i clear my cache, history, & cookiez as a matter of principle cuz i don't like the idea of snoops, eh?
jeremy, oh, yeah, i'd 4gotten abt that game. or mayB dad was thinkin' i play sum game where peeps destroy choo-choo's. u know he'd find that disturbing.
howard, sorry 2 hear abt yr bad nite.
apes
At 9:16 PM,
April Patterson said…
bleaching my brain, bleaching my brain. bleach, bleach.
apes
At 9:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i saw rebeccah & ur mom having a long talk between sets. ur mom went running out of the dithers' house flapping her arms like crayzee. not 2 long aftah that she wuz back & this tyme w/ur dad. they were talkin’ 2 mrs. dithers & she did not luk happy. she came ovah 2 where rebeccah wuz doin’ her set & w8ed till rebeccah finished her song & sed a few wordz 2 rebeccah. she did not luk happy.
i sed, “wut’s up?” she sed, “it’s st00pid.” i sed, “wut?” rebeccah sed, “mrs. dithers sed it iz not cube 2 insult guests. she wunts a class party & sez she iz payin’ enuff money so it shud b classy.” i sed, “wut?” rebeccah sed, “there’z some thingz u shud nevah say 2 jelly fatterson like the truth & i sed them.” i sed, “wut?” rebeccah sed, “stop sayin, ‘wut?’. i don’t wanna talk ‘bout it ne more. let’s finish the set.” then rebeccah changed the order of her numberz & did, "bad wisdom” by suzanne vega, and "me and a gun"by tori amos.
some of mr. dithers’ employees are here. the bumpstead family is here. they remembahed rebeccah frum wen she played their 75th anniversary party. their daughter cookie iz dancin’ a lot 2 rebeccah’s musick. she iz grade11 n her skool, only her skool takes longer than ours, cuz she sed she had been in grade 11 for ‘bout 30 yearz. that must b a rilly tuff skool. she looks a lot like her mom, xxcept her hair iz not az curly. her bro iz also here. hiz name iz alexander. he luks a lot like his dad, which iz not so gud, cuz his dad iz kinda goofy lookin’. he haz been lookin’ @rebeccah n a way i don’t like so much, plus he iz oldah than i am. i gotta concentr8 on sound.
At 11:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, o.k. now i am ticked off. that freaky-lookin’ alexander wuz talkin’ 2 rebeccah & he gave her this line, “my dad my work 4 ditherz, but my granddad iz
billionaire railroad tycoon, j. bolling bumstead. he cut my dad outa hiz inheritance wen he married my mom back n 1933 & they haven’t talked since. so who gets the inheritance wen granddad croaks? it’s me & my sis. ur a nice lookin’ girl. wudya say we go out sumtyme?” the guy wuz comin’ on2 her rite n fronta me. 4 sum reazn all rebeccah cud say wuz, “billionaire” w/this glassy-eyed look on her face. i sed, “hey, she’z my xxclusive friend w/bennies. blow off, freaky guy.” then this alexander sayz, “xxclusive friend w/bennies. wut’s that? look old man, y don’t u make ur move on sum1 ur own age.” i sed, “hey! i’m only 14 years old.” then alexander said, “hey! i’m 72 & i luk younger than u.” rebeccah sed, “72? i thot u were n high skool.” alexander sed, “it’s a rilly tuff skool. just remembah, i have a billionaire grandfather. that usually helps.” rebeccah sed, “billionaire” & went glassy-eyed again. i sed, “rebeccah. str8en this guy out.” then she sed, “billionaire” again. like i sed, i’m ticked off.
At 1:47 AM,
Anonymous said…
rebeccah, answer: no. i don't go on d8s w/future billionairez wen they ask me out.
At 2:23 AM,
Anonymous said…
rebeccah, answering for april, cuz i know this iz how she wud answer: no. stick with jeremy. he iz bettah than any freaky-lookin' billionaire.
At 2:38 AM,
howard said…
April,
I am having a good time with Marjee, but we are not getting much sleep. At least, I don't have to listen to Thora and Thorvald. Marjee's voice is a lot more pleasant. She has a very tinkling, lilting sound when she laughs or makes other noises.
Howard K.
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