Birthday
So Jeremy did a gr8 job describing a buncha stuff that happed @ my b-day celeration last nite. Eva told me she went fr. blonde 2 platinum cuz she ws till in2 trying new thingz. Vicks was a lil embarrassed that Gordie packed on a buncha w8 when he was in hospital all that time. Vicks borrowed a red beret from her Dad 4 Gordie 2 wear last nite. Jeremy mentioned that I didn't go 34 a chickflick last nite, but 4 sum reason, the Megaplex only had horror moviez, action-adventure, and gross-out flix. Bloodbeast was pretty fun, tho. We were all laffin' when we got out. And the Double' D-Pizza was good, as alwayz. I felt kinda bad abt doing almost the xact thing 4 my b-day as last yr, but we had 2 do a quick change of planz cuz of the whole thing w/the fork lift in front & the giant steel bookcase w/Ger's gift of "100 Greatest Books". The shelf is still out front, w/a tarp over it 2 protect it. Ger, Dunc, Jeremy, and Drew Fontaine are coming by this afternoon 2 get it in2 the house & up 2 my room.
@ least going 2 C Howard perform @ the Valhalla was diff fr. last yr. Howard's song 2 me was soooo sweet! & OMG, I had no idea Shannon was such a horndog, the way she kept staring @ Howard's, erm, "area". And it's nice that I had a bigger celebration this yr, w/more ppl.
So, like U know, Mom showed up as soon as a started handing out the cake 2 every1, once we got back 2 my house. typical Mom. This morning, Dad told me that Mom was lying in bed awake worrying abt me last nite. He reminded her that she sed I cd have a late nite out 4 my b-day, & Mom was all, "I know...But she'z 2 l8 now, John." & then she was talking abt how when I was little & every1 came over 4 a party, it was a lot of work, but, "in retrospect, it was easier." Dad was all, "I h8 when yr mother keeps me awake like that. I was so ready 2 have dreamz abt trainz & forklifts." But then Mom kept it up with, "It's aftermidnite! I'm so worried. What she she doesn't come home? What if she's been drinking? What if..." Then she heard us coming in & sniffed out the cake. That's when I was all, "Oh...Hi, Mom! ...I hope U're not angry! ...I brot every1 home 4 cake!" But U all know that part. U were there, eh?
Apes
@ least going 2 C Howard perform @ the Valhalla was diff fr. last yr. Howard's song 2 me was soooo sweet! & OMG, I had no idea Shannon was such a horndog, the way she kept staring @ Howard's, erm, "area". And it's nice that I had a bigger celebration this yr, w/more ppl.
So, like U know, Mom showed up as soon as a started handing out the cake 2 every1, once we got back 2 my house. typical Mom. This morning, Dad told me that Mom was lying in bed awake worrying abt me last nite. He reminded her that she sed I cd have a late nite out 4 my b-day, & Mom was all, "I know...But she'z 2 l8 now, John." & then she was talking abt how when I was little & every1 came over 4 a party, it was a lot of work, but, "in retrospect, it was easier." Dad was all, "I h8 when yr mother keeps me awake like that. I was so ready 2 have dreamz abt trainz & forklifts." But then Mom kept it up with, "It's aftermidnite! I'm so worried. What she she doesn't come home? What if she's been drinking? What if..." Then she heard us coming in & sniffed out the cake. That's when I was all, "Oh...Hi, Mom! ...I hope U're not angry! ...I brot every1 home 4 cake!" But U all know that part. U were there, eh?
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 9:51 AM
10 Comments:
At 2:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, dirne aufkleber showed up @my house early w/her ‘rents. she sed, “jeremy. it’s tyme 2 go 2 church.” i sed, “wut?” dirne sed, “put on ur suit & let’s go. my ‘rents r w8ing.” dirne goes 2 the cathedral church of st. damian n mboro. she sed, “it’z the oldest church n mboro & it’s where every1 who iz ne1 goez 2 church.” we did the service w/the sung eucharist. dirne sed, “jeremy, u have a nice voice.” i sed, “thanx. it’s not az good az april or duncan or rebeccah’z singin’.” dirne sed, “it iz a pleasure 2 have a bf who can carry a tune. my old bf n TO. worship services w/him were painful.” i sed, “do u go 2 church every sunday?” dirne sed, “but of course. u get 2 wear ur best designer dresses every week & not only that but studies have shown the most successful families attend church regularly.” i sed, “duz it have nething 2 do w/god & religion?” dirne sed, “but of course. thass wut church iz about, silly.”
aftah church, we had lunch @that restaurant howard likes, la crème de la crème de milborough. i wuz rilly careful 2 open doors & seat dirne. dirne’s mom gushed. she sed, “sum1 haz been trainin’ u rite, jeremy.” dirne sed, “& mom, guess wut? wen i went 2 jeremy’s house yesterday, his room wuz alreddy clean.” i sed, “i had help.” mr. aufkleber sed, “ur room wuz clean! ur not gay ru?” i sed, “no. i had help.” mrs. aufkleber sed, “dear. remembah we r n mboro, where the youngah u luk, the gayer ur.” mr. aufkleber gave me a gud luk & sed, “sorry jeremy. ur obviously v.v. heterosexual.” i sed, “yes, thass definitely rite.” mrs. aufkleber sed, “i am quite pleased. dirne’s last bf, she hadta go ovah 2 hiz house all the tyme. it wuz a lotta work.” dirne sed, “in retrospect it was easier than lettin’ him clean it cuz he wuz such a slob. i’m glad ur not a slob, jeremy.” i sed, “me 2.”
chef sophia came out &spotted me & sed, “jeremy jonez. iz howard here 2day?” i sed, “no. i am here with the aufkleber family. this is dirne & her ‘rents.” sophia sed, “it iz a pleasure 2 meet u all.” then she called ovah 1 of the wait staff & told him 2 give us priority service. i thot dirne’z mom wuz gonna have a heart attack. she sed, “i am quite mpressed jeremy, u wud know the chef @the best restaurant n mboro personally.” mr. aufkleber sed, “iz it 2 early 2b talkin’ marriage?” dirne sed, “yes. mom. dad. get control of urself or u will scare jeremy off.” mrs. aufkleber sed, “did uc her shoez? v.v. xxpensive work shoez 4 a chef.” dirne sed, “but of course. fendi.” i sed, “she usedta b a fashion model.” mr. aufkleber sed, “rilly. thass where i have seen her b4. i think she wuz n portrait magazine.” i sed, “thass rite.” mrs. aufkleber sighed. “that usedta b 1 of my favourite magazinez, then a few yrs ago, it turned n2 an xxpose magazine & practically pornographic w/the adz it uses.” mr. aufkleber sed, “it’s all ‘bout wut sells & respectful biographical material duzn’t sell.” mrs. aufkleber sighed. “i know, but i liked it bettah b4.”
aftah lunch, they dropped me off back home & dirne kissed me a little @the door till her dad yelled @her, “dirne. remembah only 2 minutez for sunday afternoon kissin’.” dirne sed, “sorry dad.” then she sed 2 me, “it’ll b sad havin’ 2 wear thoze non-designer unis 2morrow n skool, but it will b bettah w/u there. cu l8er bf.” i sed, “cu l8er.” that wuz my mornin’ & aftahnoon.
At 2:40 PM,
April Patterson said…
soundz like u have been having an interesting day so far, jeremy. thanx 4 agreeing 2 help out w/the bookcase. i'll c u in abt an hour, eh?
btw, thanx 4 the vintage jazz recording & the purse! i luv 'em both. dunc got me a purse, 2, but it's more gothy-vintagy lookin' & will go w/totally diff outfits. it's v. cube. becks, thanx 4 the v. cute outfit u bot me & the gag gift was hysterical (a "not turning in2 elly" survival kit, lol! cosmetic surgery catalogue, calorie guide, & xercise dvd's!). vicks, i luv the pants u picked up fr. hot topic. & eva, the hair accessoriez are v. v. cute! marjee, i luv the set of temporary hairdyez u gave me!
btw, i had a v. disturbing convo w/steph, the web designer who helps my mom. u c, steph wanted us all 2 file our april letterz early, like get them in no l8r than this past thursday so she cd "edit" & get 'em ready 2 post. & i wanted 2 w8 until after my b-day celebration so's i cd write abt that. so i didn't submit nething, figuring she'd hold off 4 me. neway, i called steph & told her i'd finish up my letter & e-mail it 2 her 2day so she cd get it posted 2morrow. & u know what she sed? "no problem, april, it's already dun."
i was, all, "what do u mean, it's already dun?" steph was, like, "i outsourced it 2 my committee in corbeil!" i'm like "wtf?" & she was, like, "language!" & i was all, "but my birthday celebration!" & she sed, "don't worry april, we just did a statistical analysis of yr past letterz & used that 2 determine what u were likely 2 say abt yr birthday celebration." & i was all, "dear god! u do know becky & drew were there, rite?! pls tell me yr committee didn't have 'me' going on abt how i didn't have becky there or whatevs." & she sed, "april, really, i don't have time 4 this. u'll just have 2 w8 & c what the letter says. like every1 else."
omg, can u believe that shizzle! i m sooooo pissed!
apes
At 3:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i've got sum good dolliez 4 carryin' sound equipment that'll make short work of ur bookcase. u mite wanna make sure ur floor can handle the w8, so it duzn't crash thru. if not, we can move it 2 the ground floor. i know gigli got u the steel bookcase, but u know wood or plastic is a lot liter & also looks a lot bettah. mebbe u cud talk gigli n2 lettin' u trade out bookcases & make every1's life a lot eazier. i cud alwayz uze a steel bookcase n my garage 4 equipment storage. i have a nice wooden bookcase 2 trade 4 it, if gigli will let u. u know how he iz 'bout gifts.
also, don't worry 'bout wut showz up n thoze lettahz. peeps know wut happened @ur party. the only tyme i worry 'bout thoze lettahz iz wen u rite sumthin''bout the way i luk & go "ew" or "creepyouout."
At 3:13 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy, ger sez he doesn't mind abt the shelf, cuz it's, like, the gr8 lit that counts & all.
sorry abt all that stuff abt yr looks in old letterz. i hope the "statistical analysis" peeps didn't d-cide i was likely 2 say sumthin' like that this month!
apes
At 3:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i am usedta peeps sayin' thingz 'bout my looks, but it's hard wen it looks like it comez frum u, evn wen it izn't. my mom iz drivin' the wooden shelvez ovah n our truck. she sed, "it wuz a lot eazier wen u were little & wen u went 2 april'z it wuz 4 a partee. now it's a lot of work."
At 4:07 PM,
Anne said…
Yestahday was a blast. :-) I'm so glad u dig the pants. If u need 2 xchange them or whatevah, no worriez. And thanx 4 the compliments on my new short hairstyle! Marjee was rite that a change would suit me.
Gordie still has some stitches on his head, so that's why he wanted 2 wear some sort of hat. And he's so set on losing w8 bcause he sed fat sk8boarders don't get endorsements.
Vicks
At 4:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
vicki, u shud send gordie ovah 2 help move theze shelvez. i got dolliez but drew & gigli r tryin' make it sum kinda macho liftin' contest 2 show off 4 the girlz. duncan & ir just watchin' till they give up on movin' that steel shelf & i can uze the dolliez. mebbe gordie cud talk sum sense n2 theze idiots.
At 5:16 PM,
April Patterson said…
so gordie & vicks came by, & gordie decided he wanted 2 use the dolliez as sk8bds! omg! then he, like, ran over ger & drew's feet, so now both of them r icing their feet. then gordie, like, ran rite in2 the steel shelf, which didn't budge, so he fell over, & he's inside icing his head. jeremy, dunc, vicki, becky, & i were then able 2 use the dolliez 2 get the job dun!
apes
At 5:28 PM,
Anne said…
OMG, I'm sooo embarrased about Gordie. He's feeling dizzy again & singing "Rasberry Beret." He's gonna have 2 get more x-rays. Thank goodness 4 our socialized health care....lol. It's like when he sees nething w/wheels, he thinx he can practice his movez on it.
It was a good workout, moving those shelves. Don't Drew & Gerald know ur supposed 2 bend ur knees & not ur back when ur lifting things? It's been fun hanging out, tho.
Vicks
At 5:43 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i think it must pay 2b a guy who'z an idiot. ur ovah there playin' nurse 2 gigli. rebeccah iz playin' nurse 2 drew. vicki iz playin' nurse 2 gordie. i sed 2 duncan, if u had a gf here, u wud have sum1 nursin' u2. duncan sed,"i don't have a gf. u took the last 1 i had." i sed, "wut 'bout eva? she seemed like she wuz w/u mosta last nite." dunc sed, "i dunno 'bout eva. she'z kinda flighty. she wud walk w/me, but she wudn't sit w/me & i didn't evn c her wen we were eatin' cake, but mebbe i wuz confuzed cuz it looked like vicki wuz wearin' eva'z clothez then." i sed, "i noticed that 2, but i didn't ask wut wuz goin' on w/clothez. girlz r alwayz swappin' or sharin' clothez." duncan sed, "b-sidez. i thot u were d8in' eva." i sed, "we eat lunch 2gethah, but she duzn't like me n that kinda way. i'm d8ing dirna." duncan sed, "well. thass confusin'. i'm kinda innerested n sum1 else, but sumtymez i don't feel like i am n control." i sed, "i know xxactly wut u mean." then my mom sed, "jeremy. we don't have all day. get n the truck." we finished unloading the steel shelves n my garage. they're gr8. thanx 4 swappin', april.
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