No wallowing in the past, eh?
Gah, will this Anthony stuff nev end, Dad? This morning, Dad was all, "April, R U feeling OK this morning? U were passed out 4 a pretty long time last nite fr. all that smoke inhalation. Is my little buddy under the weather? Just say the word, and I'll call off school 4 U and U can spend the day with me @ the clinic, hearing more about Anthony. Like how he told me, 'the good news is, I'm in control now. I can start 2 rebuild my life & get on w/it!'" I started 2 say "No, th--" but he interrupted me, "And how he continued, 'I've started divorce proceedings, I've hired sum1 2 help w/the baby & I'm going 2 recover.' And how I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder just as he sed, 'There'z stuff 2 do. And stuff 2 learn--my new job is a challenge, so I can't go wallowing abt in the past!' And how I told him, 'I admire yr attitude. U've got a lot of courage.' And how he modestly contradicted me, 'I don't have a lot of courage, John. I have a lot of responsibilities.' So just say the word, April, and no school 4 U 2day!" And I was all, "No, really, 'Pop', that'z v. v. kind of U but I really don't wanna miss school. We're doing Catcher in the Rye in English class, & I really don't wanna miss out!" So Dad was, like, "Well, OK. If U R sure. By the way, Macbeth sure did go horribly wrong last nite, eh?" And instead of saying "No shit, Sherlock", I was all, "Yeah, it really did. Mirabell came pretty close 2 strangling Mike. That was awesum!" And Dad was all, "Did U just say it was awesum that sum1 nearly strangled yr brother?" And I was, like, "Dad, I think yr hearing is going. I sed "awful", not "awesum". And he was, like, "OK." But doodz, that was so awesum, wasn't it?
Oh, & back 2 Anthony--I hope he takes his own advice abt not wallowing in the past--meaning he doesn't try 2 get back w/Liz, his high-school gf!
Jeremy, Dunc, Zandra, Dirne, it soundz like U R all OK. Eva, pls post & let us know how U R. Becks, that was way cube that Frexfaxi helped so many ppl get outta the cafetorium. Ugh, of course now we hafta eat in the gym until the cafetorium is fixed up again.
Jeremy, I'm sorry 2 hear Dirne's 'rents made her dump U. That is so harsh! Speaking of harsh, I guess it's a step in the rite direction that Becky's dad isn't trying 2 force her 2 marry Ger NEmore, & that he now thinx it's OK 4 Ger 2 marry me. Tho it's not cube that he'z assuming I'll just B Ger's 1st wife, meaning it won't last. First & only, Bubba! And I'm not a trickster! Tho ppl who try 2 get Howard 2 marry their daughter, they R tricksters!
Apes
Oh, & back 2 Anthony--I hope he takes his own advice abt not wallowing in the past--meaning he doesn't try 2 get back w/Liz, his high-school gf!
Jeremy, Dunc, Zandra, Dirne, it soundz like U R all OK. Eva, pls post & let us know how U R. Becks, that was way cube that Frexfaxi helped so many ppl get outta the cafetorium. Ugh, of course now we hafta eat in the gym until the cafetorium is fixed up again.
Jeremy, I'm sorry 2 hear Dirne's 'rents made her dump U. That is so harsh! Speaking of harsh, I guess it's a step in the rite direction that Becky's dad isn't trying 2 force her 2 marry Ger NEmore, & that he now thinx it's OK 4 Ger 2 marry me. Tho it's not cube that he'z assuming I'll just B Ger's 1st wife, meaning it won't last. First & only, Bubba! And I'm not a trickster! Tho ppl who try 2 get Howard 2 marry their daughter, they R tricksters!
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 9:42 AM
4 Comments:
At 10:18 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, i wuz so mpressed w/how much anthony felt bettah talkin’ 2 ur dad, i thot i wud try the same thing. i went ovah 2 ur house, just as he wuz comin’ out 2 go 2 work. i sed, “dr. p. can i talk 2u?” ur dad looked a little startled. he sed, “jeremy. ur comin’ 2 me 4 a test drive? ahhh…the sweet smell of success!” then he said, “ru gonna get me a cinnamon bun?” i sed, “no, dr. p. i wuz hopin’ 2 talk 2u ‘bout my gf. she broke up w/me.” ur dad sed, “i’m proud of u, jeremy. u’ve put a lot n2 this move. u’ve moved up!—wut duz dana think?” i sed, “thass dirne. i think i moved down. her ‘rents broke us up las’ nite.” ur dad sed, “ur gf haz moved out?!” i sed, “we weren’t livin’ 2 gethah, but her rents told her 2 nevah c me again.” ur dad sed, “it’s ez 2 lie 2 an honest guy.” & he touched my back. i sed, “i don’t think it wuz lyin’. it wuz more like an order. but i feel awful. i think i wuz n love w/dirne.” ur dad sed, “i admire ur attitude. u’ve gotta lotta courage.” & he touched my shoulder & unlocked hiz car door. i sed, “wut shud i do dr. p?” ur dad got n hiz car & left. this convo wuz not az comfortin’ az i hoped it wud b.
At 10:45 AM,
April Patterson said…
wow, jeremy, my dad is really wacked. soundz like he has sum pre-programmed answerz & anthony just kinda lucked out. either that, or dad'z brain overloaded fr. all that interaction w/anthony & now he'z on a loop.
apes
At 10:08 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, it wuz a bad day 2day. sum peeps r blamin’ me 4 the fog machine problemz. not the principal who blamez mirabell 4 makin’ a last minute equipment switch. then it wuz rilly weird @lunch, wen dirne didn’t sit w/me but sat by her grade 10 friendz. i tried 2 xxplain the thingz that happed last nite, but i don’t think ne1 b-lieved me, xxcept mebbe shannon.
then i got home & decided i wuz just gonna sit n my room & do homework 2 take my mind off thingz. i hear the doorbell ring & my mom gets the door & she yellz @me, “jeremy jonez. y did u order pizza aftah we just had dinner?” i came outa my room & sed, “i didn’t order pizza.” then my mom sed, “this pizza boy sez diffrent.” so i went 2 talk 2 the pizza boy & c if he got the wrong jones, which iz a rilly bad problem, cuz there r so many jones. i got 2 the door & i sed, “dirne. wut ru doin’ disguised az a pizza boy?” dirne sed, “oh. i didn’t fool u. i fooled ur mom tho.” i yelled back @my mom, “sorry mom. i’ll pay 4 the pizza outa my own money.” my mom sed, “thass rite u will.”
so i stepped outside w/dirne & shut the door, so mom cudn’t hear us talkin’.” once the door wuz closed, dirne wuz all ovah me w/kisses. she sed, “i missed u so much 2day.” i sed, “i missed u2, but u know it’s not like ur mom & dad r @skool 2 know if u talk 2 me there.” dirne sed, “jeremy. my mom & dad talked 2 all my teacherz & gave them a little sumthin’ 2 make sure i didn’t talk 2u.” i sed, “oh. so wut’s the deal w/the pizza boy disguise?” dirne sed, “i’m rilly studyin’ n my room & i have my musick playin’ loud & then i jumped out my window. then i stopped a pizza boy drivin’ thru my neighbourhood & he let me deliver u a pizza n his uni. i hadta cu, jeremy jones. thingz r gonna b ruff w/my ‘rents 4 awhile. can u w8 4 me?” i sed, “wutya mean w8 4u?” dirne sed, “i hafta go on a matchmakin’ d8 2morrow & most likely i will have a bf by end of the evenin’.” i sed, “wut? a new bf by friday nite?” dirne sed, “yes. but u have my heart, jeremy. i will try 2 find tymez 2 visit u like this. but don’t try 2 talk 2 me n skool. my ‘rents have eyez everywhere.”
i sed, “wut can i do?” dirne sed, “b cube. it may seem like my ‘rents r n control, but rilly i am n control now. i can start 2 rebuild my life & get on w/it.” i sed, “wut? wut duz that mean?” dirne sed, “it meanz my life w/u jeremy. 1st i hafta get sum1 2 help me w/this baby & i am gonna recover.” i sed, “wut? wut duz that mean?” dirne sed, “it meanz i hafta find sum1 who can cover 4 me wen i am w/u. there’z stuff 2 do. & stuff 2 learn—my new job iz a challenge, so i can’t go wallowin’ ‘bout n the past.” i sed, “wut? wut duz that mean?” dirne sed, “it meanz gettin’ ‘round my ‘rents iz not gonna b ez, & i can’t do the same kinda stuff i wuz doin’.” i sed, “duz this mean u don’t like designer clothez nemore?” dirne sed, “but of course not, jeremy. but i may b usin’ the power of clothez 2 help me w/my ‘rents.” i sed, “i am rilly confuzed now.” dirne sed, “ru gonna w8 4 me?” i sed, “but of course. it’s kinda an mportant question not 2 answer.” dirne sed, “good.” then she kissed me again & ran off 2 the pizza car that wuz w8in’ n the street & drove off.
i went n2 the house & my mom sed, “where’s the pizza?” i sed, “pizza? wut pizza?” my mom sed, “jeremy jones. u rat! u8 it all urself. u have red all ovah ur lips. u coulda saved me a piece.” i sed, “thass lipstick, mom.” mom sed, “ur kissin’ a pizza boy, who wearz red lipstick?” i sed, “it wuz rilly dirne n disguise.” my mom looked shocked & then started laffin’ & laffin’, 4tun8ely not w/a sticky-out tongue. she sed, “jeremy jones. the girls u attract. each 1 iz crayzier than the next.” i am so confuzed, april. i am so not lookin’ 4ward 2 c-ing dirne w/anothah guy next week, but i am kinda happy she still wunts 2b w/me.
At 10:45 PM,
howard said…
April,
Rosemary Mayes was pretty feisty today, after Thorvald McGuire told her he decided that Adalbjorg Ellysdottir can be Gisli Aloysiusson’s first wife. I said to Rosemary, “You mean April and Gerald.” Rosemary said, “It’s not fair Hoskuld. But fafa Thorvald said he was not the fastnandi (the person responsible for wedding negotiations) for Adalbjorg or Gisli, and they have chosen each other. He did not want Gisli to end up like Hoskuld and Hallgerda Longcoat." I said, “You’re not talking about me this time, right?” Rosemary said, “No, Hoskuld. A different Hoskuld.” I said, “So what did you do?” Rosemary said, “I told him it was not fair and I asked him why he wasn’t Gisli’s fastnandi.” I said, “I guess he told you it was the right of the father or male guardian.” Rosemary said, “No, Hoskuld. You are wrong for once. Fafa Thorvald told me I was very wise and that I had given him an idea.” I said, “He didn’t tell you what that idea was, did he?” Rosemary said, “No. Fafa Thorvald can be tricky, and when he is, he does not share his ideas. He is not as tricky as fafa Gordon, but fafa Thorvald can be smart.” I said, “So, fafa Gordon is trickier than fafa Thorvald?” Rosemary said, “Fafa Gordon is the smartest. He is like Loki. He may not be the strongest warrior like Thor or fafa Thorvald, but he always wins.” I said, “I never thought of your dad that way.” Rosemary said, “You should.” And when I thought about it, I would have to admit, Gordon Mayes does have some Loki-like attributes.
At Sugar’s salon today, Marjee Mahaha asked me if I had made a decision about being engaged to Becky. I said, “I just saw you an hour ago, since you slept over at my place. Nothing has happened since then.” I think Marjee is concerned I will agree to do it and will be making a huge mistake. She said, “You’re in control now, but if you make this arrangement, Thorvald will be in control. When it all goes to pieces, it will be hard to rebuild your life and get on with it.” I said, “By ‘it’, you mean my life, eh?” Marjee said, “Yes. Don’t go wallowing in the past. Just because she kissed you and turned you from a dog to a man, doesn’t mean you should marry her.” I said, “What do you recommend?” Marjee said, “You should do something new. You’ve got a lot of courage, but you don’t need a lot of responsibilities.” I said, “What is this? Have you been talking to Anthony Caine?” Marjee said, “No. I did Thérèse Caine’s hair the other day, and she said this was part of the speech she gave Anthony. I thought it was inspirational.” I said, “Marjee. What is this about?” Marjee said, “People who try to get you to marry their underage daughter are tricksters.” I said, “I know this one. You’ve been talking to April.” Marjee said, “Well she’s right.” I said, “Marjee. First I need to talk to Becky, but thanks for the advice.” Marjee didn’t seem to be satisfied with that, but it got busy at work and we didn’t have time to talk about it again.
Tonight I have just finished 2 shows at the Valhalla, one of which was to cover Arne the magician while he attends the funeral of his cousin, Gary Larson. Marjee is here, helping me with my makeup. I can tell she wants to talk about the subject again. I expect I will be lifting a lot of weights again tonight.
Howard K.
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