WHEN did they EVER seem like a perfect couple?
When I walked in2 the kitchen this morning, Dad was on the phone:
Ger, I had loads of fun w/U last nite, even tho U got all scared 2 dance & bummed abt Becky dumping Drew, & then strangely aroused when Marjee & Becks both kissed Howard after Howard and Becky got Viking-engaged. Congrats again, Becks and Howard. Becks an' I have started making planz 4 the big engagement party. Ger sez he wants 2 B a "Viking authenticity" consultant, but Becky isn't sure she wants him 2 do that.
Ger & I R meeting Dunc & Zed @ Horny T's this afternoon, around 1, in case NE1 wants 2 join us!
Apes
Well, Mike, naturally I'm going to need a copy editor for the manuscript of my memoirs when I finish writing them. And I want it to be you, since you are the best, according to Dee and you yourself. What's that? [pause] Michael, really, I'd rather you didn't pass me off to one of your "disgruntled" underlings who also does freelance work. Yes, no, I realize you all share leads w/1 another, but Mike, I'm yr FATHER! And besides, you can't make up stuff like this! Like, for example, I'm driving home in the new Crevasse, and all the while, I'm thinking, thinking, thinking. I'm thinking so much, I can imagine my thots as gr8 swaths of text. My thots ran like this [consulting MS]: "Here I am, driving home in a brand-new car. I shd B happy, but I keep thinking abt Anthony and Thérèse. He's such a nice guy. He'z smart & funny. He'z been a good provider. He'z hardworking and faithful... How cd she leave him? How cd she leave that beautiful baby? They seemed like such a perfect couple and now, suddenly--4 no apparent reason...everything's changed!" Michael, as I walked into the laundry room, after getting home, there was yr mother, holdind a bottle of SUDZ, wearing one of thoze flowered blouses she likes 2 wear. She sed, "Hello there!" And she seemed a little baffled as I threw my armz around her! Because I was so happy not 2 B Anthony or Thérèse, C? What's that, Mike? Oh, yes, of course U're busy & U have deadlinez & U have 2 get back 2 yr attic. Sorry 4 the interruption! Let me know, O--Mike? Hello? Hmmm, I guess we were disconnected.So, w8 a bleepin' minute. Dad thot that Anth an' T. seemed like "such a perfect couple"? When? When they were engaged and he was going out on romantic d8s with Liz? When they had a fite over Liz during their wedding? When T. didn't want 2 have a baby, but A. convinced her she shd, & promised he'd take on all the baby-care? When T. was preggerz & they had a fite over Liz @ the NYE party? When Anth told Mike that T. didn't C NE glass ceilingz @ work, just mirrorz, & she likes what she seez? When A. went 2 Lakeshore Landscaping 2 collect Liz & tell her 2 w8 4 him, like w8 out his marriage? Geez, Dad really wasn't paying attention 4 1 flying second, now was he? I hope he an' Mom Rn't that kinda perfect!
Ger, I had loads of fun w/U last nite, even tho U got all scared 2 dance & bummed abt Becky dumping Drew, & then strangely aroused when Marjee & Becks both kissed Howard after Howard and Becky got Viking-engaged. Congrats again, Becks and Howard. Becks an' I have started making planz 4 the big engagement party. Ger sez he wants 2 B a "Viking authenticity" consultant, but Becky isn't sure she wants him 2 do that.
Ger & I R meeting Dunc & Zed @ Horny T's this afternoon, around 1, in case NE1 wants 2 join us!
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 8:41 AM
22 Comments:
At 9:52 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about your noos (father) talking to your nisayenh (brother) about publishing his memoirs. That should be a great book. I know you think your noos (father) is missing some of the facts about his friend Anthony and his relationship with his wiijiiwaagan (wife). With webinidiwin (divorce), people take sides, even among my people. You may think the Ojibway before the whites came, were a perfect people, without any problems between women and men. This is not true. The Ojibway laws allow for webinidiwin (divorce).
There is the Ojibway legend of a hunter named Otter-heart, who while camping near an amik (beaver) lodge, found a pretty girl around his fire. She keeps his wigwam in order, and lays his blanket near the deerskin she had laid for herself. So he takes her for his wiijiiwaagan (wife). She refuses to eat the amik (beavers) he has shot, but at night he hears a noise, like a amik (beaver) gnawing wood and sees his wiijiiwaagan (wife) nibbling birch. In fact, his wiijiiwaagan (wife) is an amik (beaver). His wiijiiwaagan (wife) asks Otter-heart to build her a bridge over every body of water, so she would never get her feet wet, which will turn her back to an amik (beaver). Otter-heart did this except for one tiny stream, he thinks is too small to matter. Of course, the wiijiiwaagan (wife) falls into that stream, turns back to an amik (beaver), which also turns their son into an amik (beaver), and they are gone to live with the amik (beavers). So Otter-heart and his amik (beaver) wiijiiwaagan (wife) are divorced.
It is a sad story, but when you were writing about your noos (father’s) friend Anthony this week, I was reminded of it. The amik (beavers) sided with the amik (beaver) wiijiiwaagan (wife) and would not return her or her son to Otter-heart. They ignored the fact the amik (beaver) wiijiiwaagan (wife) had turned into a woman and married a man, who killed and ate amik (beavers), and had a son with him. Like the amik (beavers), I think your noos (father) is ignoring all those things you mentioned about his friend Anthony and his wiijiiwaagan (wife).
I only hope that someday your noos (father) will think the same things about me, that he does about his friend Anthony. I think I am also smart and funny and hard-working and a good provider and faithful to your sister. I would love it if your noos (father) thought your sister and me were the perfect couple, except, unlike your noos (father’s) friend Anthony and his wiijiiwaagan (wife), we actually will be.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 10:01 AM,
April Patterson said…
paul, i really don't think ne1 will ever publish my dad'z memoirz. but if he ever finishes them, i m sure he'd b happy 2 let u read the manuscript.
that's an interesting story, abt the beaverz. much more interesting than anthony/therese/dad/carz.
apes
At 10:28 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, thanx 4 the nvite 2 go 2 horny t’s w/u & ger & dunc & zed, but i dunno if i can stand 2b ‘round couples. i took a walk this mornin’ & ran n2 rebeccah & howard walkin’ that horse they call a dog & the 2 dogz that actually look like dogz. rebeccah wuz all happy & showin’ off her engagement ring 2 me. just c-ing them 2gethah reminded me of dirne & so i hadda go.
then of course, i passed by ur dad & ur mom on a walk on the way back & he wuz all huggy w/ur mom. well, i say huggy but ur dad iz not v. good w/the hugz. ur mom kept sayin’, “john. i can’t breathe. not so hard.” & ur dad wuz “sorry, dear. i am so happy 2 not b anthony & thérèse, i just wanna squeeze the life outa u. poor anthony haz 2 go thru life now, raisin’ his daughter by himself, w/no wife 2 tell him wut he iz doin’ wrong or guidin’ him n the proper way 2 fold towelz or load dishwasherz. if anthony wunts 2 get a sports car, he haz no wife 2 tell him it iz wrong. if anthony wunts 2 haul junk n the back of hiz car, he haz no wife 2 let him know ‘bout the ugly scratches & dirt that will get n the car.” ur mom sed, “poor anthony. i unnerstand wut ur feelin’ now. since anthony iz alone, he duzn’t have a wife that wunts 2 mprove his life by turnin’ a whole room n their house or n hiz place of bizness n2 a room filled w/choo-choo toyz. anthony duzn’t have a wife who, every single tyme wen they go on vacation, lets him know which men r the best-lookin’ by learin’ @them. anthony duzn’t have a wife who will mprove famly relationz by uzing hiz daughter az a go-between n arguments. it makes me wanna hug u2, john.” then ur mom gave ur dad a hug & he wuz, “can’t breathe. i think 1 of my ribz iz gonna break. stop, elly, stop.” i thot she wuzn’t gonna stop 4 a minute, but she did. ur mom sed, “poor anthony. just thinkin’ ‘bout him, makes me luv u evn more, john.” ur dad sed, “& it makes me luv u evn more 2, elly.” all that luv stuff just makes me depressed.
so i dunno if i can’t stand 2b ‘round couplez 4 awhile. i hope u unnerstand. it’s nothin’ against u.
At 10:52 AM,
howard said…
April,
Becky was demonstrably affectionate for me last night, moreso than usual. I think she was showing off for Drew Fontaine, with whom she had just broken up, or maybe she was making some kind of point with her half-sis Marjee Mahaha. I am not sure. It’s just, even though I am engaged to Becky now, I never really thought of Becky romantically, because she’s my bud, you know. It was a little uncomfortable for me. I am sure she will settle down, once the excitement of being newly engaged wears off. The engagement ring fits perfectly on her finger, like it was sized just for her. I thought I would have to have it resized, but that is not the case. It is a family heirloom, such as the Kelpfroth’s have. After I came out of the closet, my grandmother gave it to me and said, “If you get engaged to a girl, this is for her. If you get engaged to a guy, I am going to shoot you.” My grandmother will be so pleased; she doesn’t have to shoot me. The ring is the one my great grandfather Kennard Kelpfroth gave his first wife, who died on their wedding night from a faulty Murphy bed. Aside from the tragedy associated with the marriage, the ring is very nice and much more than I could afford on my own salary and it looks very nice on Becky’s hand.
We walked Freyfaxi and Zeus and Apollo together this morning. Becky told Gordon and Tracey she missed seeing her dogs, so I walked them over to Gordon’s ginormous mansion. Becky rode Freyfaxi, while I kept Zeus and Apollo on leashes. We passed by Jeremy Jones and Becky felt the need to give me a kiss and a hug and show off her ring to Jeremy. Jeremy was looking very old this morning, like about your dad’s age. Then we came across your father and mother walking and hugging each other. So, there were more kisses and hugs from Becky and showing off her ring to your mom, who seemed very impressed and said something about it being first time she thought Becky was smarter than your sister, Liz.
After we passed them, I said to Becky, “You remember I am gay, right?” Then she said, “Don’t be such a prude, Howie. You may be gay and I may be underage, but compared to the married couples in Milborough, we are like, the perfect couple. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t hugged and kissed before.” I said, “OK. OK. It’s just like we were buds, then for no apparent reason-everything’s changed!” Becky said, “We’re still buds, Howie. There’s nothing wrong with buds hugging and kissing, is there?” I said, “You’re right. You’re right. I am just getting used to the idea.”
So, I am working through a few issues in my head. I should be happy, but life has changed for me, and I am not used to it yet.
Howard K.
At 11:01 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings complimenting me on the amik (beaver) story. I cannot take credit for it. It is an old Ojibway legend. Only the good ones are passed down from the older generations, so they are usually interesting. I have read some of the ones that did not make the cut, the low quality legends, like the Ojibway warrior trading in his canoe for a newer canoe, or the Ojibway food provider who decided to sell his Baloney and Bannock business to his partner, or the Ojibway drummers who added a new drummer to their group, or the Ojibway elder who had a party celebrating his birth and he fell asleep during the party. Those legends are so dull, I understand why they were not passed down.
I would love to read your noos (father’s) memoirs, even if they are not published. Your nisayenh (brother) can get them published. My sweet girl, your sister, has told me your nisayenh (brother) has been successful getting things published that no one ever believed anyone would publish. He might have the same success with your noos (father’s) memoirs.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 12:31 PM,
April Patterson said…
paul, u r v. v. polite, but i'm afraid that if u read my dad's memoirz (if he finishes writing them), u'd feel like u were reading all of the ojibway legendz that didn't make the cut. & prolly nun of the onez that did!
it's true that mike has gotten published stuff that no1 ever thot he wd. but 4 him 2 do that 4 my dad, he'd hafta b interested, & so far it loox like he'z not.
jeremy, sorry it's getting u down 2 c couplez. i totally understand.
howard, u & becks shd totally stop by @ horny t's. ger & i wanna buy u a dbl dbl. & becks doesn't like coffee, but we'll get her the non-coffee bev of her choice, eh?
apes
At 12:37 PM,
howard said…
April,
A double double sounds good to me. Plus there are people there who probably have not seen Becky's ring yet. And we can also work through engagement party details. Now I just have to talk Becky into not riding Freyfaxi over there. He's not as comfortable as a car, and he attracts attention, since he is the hero dog of the smoke machine thing at your school last Wednesday. I think Becky likes pointing out that he is not a horse to people.
Howard K.
At 1:26 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Hey, Apes!
Sorry I havent bn around Ive bn rilly bummed since the play.
So I went 2 c my lawyer yesterday aft skool. While I was w8ing 4 him, I hurd his partner meeting in the boardroom w/ sum lady. It went sumthing like this:
Lady: Whats this?
Partner: Its a separation agreement yr husbands lawyer sent ovah. Pls read it.
L: Y didnt u email it 2 me so I cld read it b4 r meeting?
P: I thot it was best that I review it w/ u personally.
L: U prolly want 2 bill 4 yr time sitting around while I read it.
P: Pls start reading.
L: OK, my husband can have the house & furniture. It used 2 b his bosses house I dont want 2 live there NEway his boss always made me feel like he owned us cos he sold us the house 4 $1K under market valu whatta guy & I dont need NE furniture Ive already bot new furniture. How much is my husband paying me 4 my interest in the house & furniture?
P: Pls keep reading.
L: Nothing? Y? Thats not fair.
P: Pls keep reading.
L: What? My husband gets sole custody of r baby? U told me it was going 2 b joint custody? No. I wont agree 2 that.
P: Pls keep reading.
L: (screaming) No access 2 mother? No! I wont agree nevah 2 c r baby again! He can have the house & furniture & everything else I own but I will nevah agree 2 walk away fr r baby!
P: Pls keep reading.
L: (sobbing) Ill nevah agree 2 this. I dont care if I spend evry cent I have Ill fite 4 custody of r baby.
P: Mrs Caine u dont understand the sitch.
L: (sobbing louder) What dont I understand? I no that Gordon Mayes has money & power & will help out my husband neway he can but Ill fite him.
P: Its not Gordon Mayes whos bhind this.
L: (screaming) Who? Whos bhind this?
P: Mrs Caine Ill tell u but u must keep yr voice down.
Then the partner started whispering. I cldnt hear what he was saying.
L: (screaming) Ive nevah hurd of The Johnston Institute. U r crazy. Im going 2 hire a new lawyer u r completely incompetent.
P: Mrs Caine pls listen 2 me.
Then the partner whispered sum more.
L: (screaming) Erased??? What do u mean, erased?
More whispering.
L: (crying) I have no choice do I.
P: No.
L: All rite. Lets get it ovah with. Ill sign.
P: U understand that u hafta pay child support even tho u wont b seeing yr daughter.
L: Yes. I dont care abt the money. I dont want 2 b erased & I dont want Francoise 2 b erased. Where do I sign?
Then the lady came outta the room. She was still crying.
L: Ma pauvre petite. Je t’aimerai toujours.
I think she said more but my lawyer called me in rite then. I was bummed already but I was even more bummed when my lawyer told me the judge was in the audience & had 2 cancel court on Thurs cos he was still on oxygen.
L8r.
p.s. Jer, come on ovah 2 Horny Ts, its not all cpls. Zeds not here shes still sick.
At 2:12 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Jer, u mite not want 2 come ovah aft all. Mrs Caines sitting @ the table next 2 us. Shes crying in2 her dbl dbl & keeps saying, "I have no bébée." We r all staring @ r donuts pretending we dont c her.
L8r.
At 2:17 PM,
April Patterson said…
omg, this is so sad. johnston inst. strikes again, eh? i'm @ horny t's w/ger, dunc, howard, & becky. jeremy just walked in. . . .
apes
At 3:11 PM,
howard said…
I never would have expected this. Jeremy walked in, saw us starting at our doughnuts and pretending not to see Thérèse Caine. He walked by us and sat down with her. This how the conversation went:
Jeremy: I noticed you are crying. Is there anything I can do to help?
Thérèse: Eef you can find me un avocet, zat eez not afraid of ze Johnston Eenstitute, zat would do eet.
Jeremy: All I know is entertainment lawyers. But I do know people who have faced the Johnston Institute and survived.
Thérèse: Survived being erased. I do not zink zo.
Jeremy: Just this March, a girl I know at school was erased, but the Johnston Institute did such a bad job of it, I could still see her.
Thérèse: What happened zen?
Jeremy: She started a new life. She did things the Johnston Institute had not planned for her, and then she was unerased.
Thérèse: Zat ees good for her. But what can zis mean for me? I have lost my bébée. I have signed ze papairs. Eet eez out of my control. My avocet, he says ze Johnston eenstitute eez not going to let zees one go.
Jeremy: Man, that’s rough. It’s so hard when people make decisions against yours and you don’t have any choice.
Thérèse: I know. You try to be bonne, but eet seemz like zair are forces zat make you unrealistically mauvaise. No one can be bad all ze time, but eet seems like zat eez what I am.
Jeremy: I know how that is. Whenever I try to find a little happiness, something comes and squishes it like a bug. It’s no fun to have that taint of evil on you.
Thérèse: Absolutement. Een thees town eet eez like, ze jobs for ze women can only be ze jobs where ze woman has to be home to take care of ze kids. Eef you want anozzer job, you get ze evil taint.
Jeremy: Or eef, I mean if you come from a broken home where someone in the family is in the music business. It’s the same way.
Thérèse: So what deed your friend do?
Jeremy: The one who got unerased?
Thérèse: Oui.
Jeremy: She did things she never did before. She did things the opposite of what she had been doing.
Thérèse: I see. Zo maybe eef I eat ze bland food, zat eez not Quebecois, zen zat might work.
Jeremy: It could.
Thérèse: Or maybe, I could watch le TV channel zat eez not n French.
Jeremy: Maybe.
Thérèse: Zank you meester. You are very kind to a stranger. I feel much bettair now. I have ze plan of attack. Eef I change, zen zis Johnston Institute will lose power ovair my bébée.
Jeremy: It’s worth a try.
Then Jeremy came to sit with us and said, “I need a double double.”
Howard K.
At 3:24 PM,
Anonymous said…
i may not b ne good 'round cryin' women, but there'z no reazn 2 ignore sum1 whoze n pain 4 losin' sum1 they love. thass sumthin' i can rilly rel8 2 rite now. b-sidez, anthony iz a schmuck. if dirne wunted a job n fashionz, where she hadda travel all the tyme, u wudn't c me chasin' after sum old gf beggin' her 2 marry me.
At 3:26 PM,
April Patterson said…
jeremy's havin' a dbl dbl now. t. seemz 2 b typing sum notez in2 her blackberry. becky'z holding her ring sum diff wayz 2 c how best 2 catch the lite. ger & dunc r arguing abt leafs playerz. howard'z giving me sum suggestionz abt the party.
apes
At 3:37 PM,
Anonymous said…
Baby Sister,
I must say I'm hurt that, not only did you not bother to take time away from your teenage pursuits to attend my birthday celebration last night, but you have not so much as wished me a happy birthday! Even though this is the big 3-0!
Well, I forgive you! I even forgive your lack of concern over my injuries Wednesday night, when that strange Mr. Mirabell accidentally grabbed me by the throat and nearly strangled me!
You'll be happy to know that we had a wonderful celebration last night! Dad made a special toast to age and wisdom. Mom cried because she's old enough to be the mother of a 30-year-old. Grandpa Jim told her to butch up and be glad her kid's not a whiny 55-year-old. My wonderful wife, delightful Deanna, made me a very special upside down cake, and Dad made a joke about how, since I spend so much time in the attic, I probably have learned to hang upside down, like a bat! Dad is so funny! And I understand he finished trading in that car of his.
And the children, Merrie and the boy. They were so cute. Merrie said, "Dad, are you as old as dirt yet?" And the boy said, "Old! Dirt!"
Ah, good times!
Just before bed, I spent 45 minutes staring at my face in the mirror, memorizing all my new tiny lines and wrinkles. Tomorrow, I'm going to buy some Oil of Olay!
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 3:44 PM,
howard said…
April is on a limited budget, but there are many nice party dishes that can be made inexpensively and still feed a hungry mob. Besides, since this is an engagement that is not going to end in a wedding (at least I don’t think it is), it’s really more an opportunity for us to spend some time with the people Becky and I care about. Becky has suggested the Valhalla as the venue for the party, but I honestly spend so much time there, I would prefer something different. Becky is adamantly against the party being at April’s house, because she fears we will have to go through the unusual precautions it took just to have cake for April’s birthday party there (i.e. hiding the cake and coming in to eat it after April’s mother had already gone to bed). However, this is really April’s party to hold, so the final decision is hers. I would be happy simply if we had pink napkins and some nice flowery decorations and opera music playing in the background.
Howard K.
At 5:34 PM,
April Patterson said…
so, becks suggested the party pavilion @ the mcguire-mccauley estate, but howard sed it wd remind him 2 much of the viking wedding & electrified rodents. then ger remembered that his 'rents r going away on sum kinda retreat the 1st wkend of may, so mayB we cd have the party @ the forsythe house. tho he sez he'd need a buncha dropcloths 2 protect the white carpets & furniture.
apes
At 6:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
april & howard & gigli r discussin' how n order 2 have the party @gigli's u wud hafta triple-wrap every piece of furniture n airtite plastic & cover the wallz, ceilingz and floorz n drop clothes. i wud suggest dirne's place, but of course we can't go there. the obvious place iz gordon maye'z place since rebeccah iz livin' there now, but nobody wunts 2 lissen 2 me. i think it's cuz i don't have a gf nemore.
At 7:59 PM,
April Patterson said…
so, like, after jeremy did that last post, becks was all, "oh, i know! we cd do it @ the mayes'z house! it makes perfect sense cuz i've been living there this wk!" then, she was, like, "y didn't ne1 think of that b4?" & jeremy just kinda shook his hed w/a sad look on his face. neway, i called tracey when i got home & she sez we're welcome 2 do the party there saturday nite, may 6. so we're starting 2 plan.
apes
At 9:24 PM,
April Patterson said…
omg, becks! i had no idea thingz were so bad w/tracey! do u still want us 2 do the party there?
apes
At 9:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hello, Becky! The date with Jojo Martinez was very interesting, to say the least. We started out at the Valhalla at 7 pm, and BDT had a special table reserved for us. Jojo told BDT, "Please, none of that foul liquor or rotted shark meat please!" And BDT responded, "Jojo, I, Thorvald, realize that you do not appreciate traditional Viking fare. Your loss! Of course, I am hoping that darling Marjee-Bjork Thorvaldsbastarddottir will come around someday, but all in good time!" Then he snapped his fingers and a waiter appeared with a bottle of red wine, which he poured for us, then he got us a basket of warm bread.
Jojo said, "So, I hear your ex-old man's locked up?" I told him, "Yes. Maynard. But that is so over!" Jojo said, "Being locked up is rough!" I told him, "It would have helped if Maynard had thought so enough to stay out." Jojo nodded and said "Going straight's not easy. But I don't mean 'going straight' in the not-having-sex-with-men sense. I mean it in the not-doing-crimes-anymore sense. That's rough. The other's darn near impossible. I said, "Becky told me you're about 60% straight." He said, "Sure, that's about right. But that 40%'s a pretty serious 40%.
Anyway, the conversation was pretty much going like that, and then BDT had the waiter wheel out a cart of food covered with trays. I don't even know what they all were, but there were like seven of them. And they all had to be flambéd. Even the salad, somehow, had to be flambéd. And of course, dessert was baked alaska. BDT winked at me and said, "It's because I'm a flamer!"
After dinner we went out to a dance club, Mojo's. Jojo said he picked it because he likes places that rhyme with his name. I guess that can't happen 2 often, eh? So, get this. It's sort of a gay/straight mixed club. And while Jojo danced with me for six out of every ten dances, he then danced with men for the other four. I guess he takes that 60/40 thing pretty seriously.
Unfortunately, he got thrown out. Some fight. I don't know the details, just that the bouncers tossed him out on his butt. And then I found out he hadn't paid for the drinks yet! I had to put out $75!
Anyway, I'm writing this from Howard's place. He's making me some herb tea.
Marjee
At 1:27 AM,
howard said…
Becky,
Ah Becky, give Marjee a break. She had a rough night. She had pretty high expectations with Jojo, given that his 60% is higher than his 40%. If I did percentages, I am sure mine would not be as high. Having your date get thrown out of a dance place and being stuck with a $75 bill for drinks, that stinks. When I was younger, that happened pretty often to me, and I can tell you that repetition does not remove any of the sting of having to open up your wallet to cover a loser’s bills.
Herb tea and a full body massage hit the spot with Marjee, and to let you know, she did agree to stay away from me after that. She’s sleeping in your room tonight with the door closed.
I miss my fiancée bud. Getting to spend this afternoon with you was great though. But I really miss our late night conversations about boys and clothes.
Howard K.
At 3:33 AM,
howard said…
April,
On a trip in the middle of the freaking night to get naked juice. I got in the habit of not stocking it for fear it would attract Drew Fontaine for an unexpected and unwanted visit. When she got home, Becky kicked Marjee out of her bed, told her to stay away from her fiance (me), and I had to drive her home and get naked juice to bring back. It's good thing I don't have to work at the salon tomorrow morning. I'm beat.
Howard K.
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