Jesse, Bottle Boy
Liz tellz me that she after the convo w/Jesse that I told U abt yesterday, she followed him 2 his Aunt Marg's house and asked her if she cd speak w/him. Marg told her that he was in his room and told her how 2 get there. Liz told Jesse, "Jesse... I want U 2 know that leaving Mtigwaki is going 2 B v. hard 4 me. I promise 2 write. U & yr auntie can come down 2 the city 2 visit me. Pls don't B angry." He wdn't say NEthing, so she went out and told Marg, "He won't speak 2 me." And Marg was all, "I know. He bottles thingz up." Then she held up a jar and sed, "I wish we cd C what's inside." Liz didn't say NEthing 2 that, but she tellz me she was, like, totally mortified @ the idea of ppl B-ing able 2 C in2 ea other and know what they R feeling. "April, I wanted 2 hit that jar rite outta her handz! How dare she B so prying! If Jesse wants 2 keep his feelingz bottled up inside, then more power 2 him! But OTOH, I really wanted 2 know what he was thinking and feeling. And I wanted him 2 tell me he wasn't mad @ me NEmore. I'm confused again. I need 2 sit down & bury my head in2 my handz."
Jeremy, I didn't write what Dunc and Ger were fiting abt cuz they wdn't tell me. MayB they will feel like posting abt it here on the blog.
Shannon, sorry abt not giving U a mention, but it mite B a better thing, cuz w/my mom an' her web designer interfering, U never know what U're gonna C abt yrself in the letterz! It's much cuber 2 get mentioned here, doncha think?!?!?!?
Dunc, thoze were v. gd questionz abt Y Liz wd move 2 Mississauga 4 the summ if she wants 2 teach in Markham in the fall. I'm not sure, but she hasn't sed NEthing abt actually getting the Markham job (so far), so she doesn't know yet where she'll B teaching in Sept.
Apes
Jeremy, I didn't write what Dunc and Ger were fiting abt cuz they wdn't tell me. MayB they will feel like posting abt it here on the blog.
Shannon, sorry abt not giving U a mention, but it mite B a better thing, cuz w/my mom an' her web designer interfering, U never know what U're gonna C abt yrself in the letterz! It's much cuber 2 get mentioned here, doncha think?!?!?!?
Dunc, thoze were v. gd questionz abt Y Liz wd move 2 Mississauga 4 the summ if she wants 2 teach in Markham in the fall. I'm not sure, but she hasn't sed NEthing abt actually getting the Markham job (so far), so she doesn't know yet where she'll B teaching in Sept.
Apes
posted by April Patterson @ 7:03 AM
16 Comments:
At 9:39 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
You are right. I am glad you mention me in your Blog entry. You are so nice. Thank you for leaving me out of your monthly letter.
I was thinking about your sister’s student, Jesse. I know some special needs kids who hardly talk at all. I am a good talker, so I do not have that problem. I have problems with people talking to my assistant and not me, but I talk straight to them to let them know it’s all right to talk to me and not my assistant. I think Jesse is definitely special needs. Maybe his next teacher will take the time to get to understand him. As you know, if you are special needs, you are a surprise bottle waiting to have your lid removed, so people can see what’s inside.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 9:41 AM,
howard said…
April,
So, Jesse is using the old “silent” treatment on your sister. I wonder if that works. I know when I was around your sister last summer, all I could do was Yack Yack Yack. Whew!! I have to stop thinking about your sister. Some of that Patterson allure must creeping toward the South. If Jesse manages to get a stereo off your sister with the “silent" treatment, I will be very impressed with him.
Howard K.
At 9:43 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. I wish my kids wouldn’t speak sometimes. My daughter and son are so noisy. It’s all we can do to keep them quiet enough so it does not disturb our downstairs neighbours. We thought about muzzles, but Deanna says that pharmacies don’t sell those for children anymore. Lizardbreath is lucky this kid is not a talker.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 9:54 AM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writings about your sister and Jesse Mukwa and his aunt Marg. Jesse’s aunt Marg is very funny. That joke about Jesse bottling things up and how she wishes she could see what’s inside. That’s very funny. You should hear all the jokes Margaret has on bear poop. Once she told me, I think, 20 bear poop jokes in a row, and I was practically rolling on the floor with laughter. My sweet girl didn’t think they were that funny. Margaret told me the only time she saw your sister laugh at a bear poop joke was when your mother stepped in a big pile of one. I guess when you are from the South, you have a different sense of humour. As for me, I could listen to Margaret tell jokes all day. Jesse is a bottle to open up so you can see what’s inside. That’s so wawiyadendaagwad (funny).
I can't tell from your writings if you got the joke. Jesse Mukwa wears his feelings where everyone can see them. He told your sister exactly why he was upset. It is because she is leaving and his mom and dad also left him. His aunt Marg knows this and used a transparent pickle jar to illustrate the point with your sister. She is so wawiyadendaagwad (funny). I don't think my sweet girl got the joke. I tried explaining it to her, and she started talking about how you couldn't see the pickle that was exactly in the middle. My sweet girl doesn't understand native humour sometimes, how we poke fun at people in a good nature. Marg's pickle jar joke is a perfect example. I am laughing just thinking about it.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 10:07 AM,
Anonymous said…
april, gah! ru still talkin’ ‘bout ur sis & this jesse kid. ur sis stinks az a teach. i get it allreddy. pleaze tell me ur gonna b done w/this story by next week.
eva & i ran n2 ur mom this mornin’ on the way 2 skool & she wuz carryin’ a list of her thingz 2 do. eva made the mistake of asking ur mom wen we cud practice 4 the prom ovah @ur house, & she sed, “april’s duzn’t have the tyme 2 practice. the months r2 warm.” eva sed, “wut? wut duz that hafta do w/nething?” then ur mom sed, “she hazta work 2 help pay 4 her education. she duzn’t have tyme 4 band.” i sed, “i thot april sed she was workin’ 2 make money 4 new furniture frum ikea 4 her room.” then ur mom sed, “she duzn’t have tyme 2 do nething but homework & housework.” eva sed, “but we have a prom 2 practice 4 & then the battle of the bandz.” ur mom sed, “there will b no battles. i do not b-lieve n warfare of ne kind, & i have taught my children 2b the same way. evn a professor of history who talks ‘bout war is devilish.” i sed, “but wut ‘bout ww ii? ur dad wuz n that 1.” ur mom sed, “thass diffrent. that war wuz where dad met mom.” so eva sed, “a battle of the bandz iz not war. it’s not a real battle. it’s just where peeps play musick.” ur mom sed, “moira kinney was kind enuff 2 let april keep her job aftah my retirement & it makes perfect sense, since i hold the mortgage. april haz 2 have sumthin’ 2 occupy her, so she will get off her computer az much az possible.” eva sed, “but she can do that by playin’ n the band.” ur mom sed, “u teenz are so argumentative. i unnerstand it’s all the stress frum the end of skool. mebbe aftah skool iz out, u will make more sense.” then she walked off. eva wuz royally ticked off. she wuz lookin’ 4ward 2 the battle of the bandz.
At 6:31 PM,
April Patterson said…
paul, i guess i don't understand native humour either, cuz i thot the whole pt of the whole "bottling up" analogy was that marg wished jesse were transparent like the jar she was lookin' @, only he'z not?
jeremy, no worriez, we're gonna practice this wkend. as usual, mom doesn't know what she'z talkin' abt. @ lunch 2day, ger, dunc, eva, luis, becky an' i all agreed 2 meet @ becks's place 2morrow afternoon, 4 pm. eva sed she'd tell u (u were having lunch in the art room 4 sum reason).
shannon, mayB jesse will get evaluated next yr, eh?
mike, i think muzzlez on children wd b v. v. cruel!
apes
At 7:11 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. "Muzzles on children would be very very cruel". Cheese and rice, April. The next thing you are going to tell me is that you think putting masking tape on a foyer floor is not a good idea. You wait until you have devilish neighbours, and see what you do.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 7:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writing asking about Native humour. You thought the "bottling up" was an analogy that Jesse’s Aunt Margaret wished Jesse were transparent like the jar she was looking at. First Nations people almost never use analogies to tell jokes. They poke fun at you or call you by an embarrassing nickname. That is the true Native humour.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 7:40 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i had lunch n art class 2day. we had speshul guest lecturer, winnifred kelpfroth. she’z a retired professor of history, i think. neway, she brot n a lotta paintings, engravings, tapestry & sculpture 2 look @. she wearz all black. zandra larson & a lotta the arty z-girlz were there & sum othah art peeps. zandra wuz the only 1 i knew there, so i kinda sat near her.
i hafta say u shoulda been there 4 this 1. professor kelpfroth’s a rilly good speaker & the paintin’s were like, v.v. graphic violence & dark, dark w/death motifs. zandra asked her a lotta questionz ‘bout the pics & wut it takes 2b a professor of histry. wen eva came n2 tell me ‘bout the band practice @rebeccah’z place, she wuz not happ 2c me sittin’ near zandra. zandra sed she mite show up @practice 2. i sed thass prolly ok, az long az she duzn’t distract duncan. zandra sed 1 of her big reazns 2b there is 2 make sure duncan wuzn’t distracted. i sed that wuz cube. i hope it’s ok she’z there, since i am just doin’ sound.
At 7:43 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
I hope Jesse gets evaluated too. But unless his mom or his dad look out for him, it may not happen. Sometimes a really good teacher will ask for an evaluation, but most times it's the parents. My mom was the one who got me evaluated.
Love,
Shannon Lake
At 7:54 PM,
April Patterson said…
omg, mike, u really don't pay much attention 2 stuff i write @ this blog, cuz if u did, u'd already know that i thot the tape in the hallway was a st00pid thing 2 do.
"cheese and rice"? k, whatevz.
jeremy, no prob abt zandra b-ing @ the practice. i wish i'd known abt that lecture. it sounds pretty cube.
paul, hm, then i guess i wonder y jesse's auntie didn't, like, make jokes abt jesse being "bottle boy" or "transparent kid" or "stinky" or sumthin'.
apes
At 8:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Boozhoo (Hello).
I read your writing asking about Native nicknames. Native nicknames are usually more like Coffee Cake, Fish Head, Mooner, Beans, Flagpole, Dances with Wasps and Big Chi-Load or things like that. Bottle Boy or Transparent Kid sound more like superhero names.
Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
Constable Paul Wright
At 8:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
april, i'm glad it's ok 4 zandra 2 go since i alreddy sed she cud & i h8 2 lie 2 peeps. i dunno if it wuz a good idea 4 me 2 sit by zandra @that lecture. i have been tryin' 2 study w/eva, but she keeps on stoppin' 2 ask me if i think zandra iz bettah lookin' than she iz. i keep tellin' her i don't think black lipstick iz v. attractive, but eva duzn't seem 2 like that answer.
At 8:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. Of course I don’t have everything memorized you ever wrote on your Blog. Do you have everything memorized I ever wrote? I don’t think so, although you might want to consider it as an example of artistic excellence and also so if you get stuck on a desert island somewhere you will have good literature to remember to keep you entertained as you fend off headhunters.
You may think my tape in the hallway idea was stupid, but at least I am smart enough to not use two dogs to pull me on roller skates. Mom told me that story the other day, because I guess you had to explain how you got bruises in those places on your body. You wouldn’t believe the things mom thought about how a young girl could get bruises on her inner thighs and 2 black eyes. I will definitely have to put that story in my new book about growing up in Milborough.
Love,
Michael Patterson
At 8:40 PM,
April Patterson said…
u don't have my permission 2 use that story, mike. if u do, i will sue u. dunc will hook me up w/his lawyer.
apes
At 9:07 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Little sis. Again with the threats of sueing. Try to remember, Pattersons don't sue anyone. Pattersons suffer in silence. Sueing is for employee/thieves who rob mom's toy store and sue for wrongful dismissal. That's the kind of person who sues. I think it is safe to say you don't want to be that kind of person.
Besides I wasn't going to use your name. The book's not about you. It's about me. I was thinking of writing it with Lawrence Poirier using Farley and Sera. If he ran into a fire hydrant with the same part of his body you did, it would be a lot funnier. Because he's a guy, and guys have different parts that you do.
Love,
Michael Patterson
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