April's Real Blog

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Gramps went home an' stuff

So, something that happed last nite was that Mom, Iris an' Uncle Phil took Gramps home 2 his apt. I didn't find out until l8r. Mom sez that as they were wheeling him down the corridor, Phil was all, "EZ, Dad. We're going 2 take U downstairz." Which is kinda weird. Y "EZ Dad"? Was he buckin' like a stallion? And Iris was like, "We're going home, Jim!" Then outside, as Phil was wheeling Gramps up 2 the Handi Van and Mom was walking just behind, Iris was, like, "Michael and John have fixed up our bathroom 4 U, and we bought U a special chair that will go thru the doorwayz." Well, Mike, I guess U an' Dad don't hafta do that stuff again, eh? As Gramps was being situated in the van, Iris was saying, "A nurse will come twice a day, and we're going 2 help U get well again." Much l8r she shared w/Mom that rite after saying that, she thot "Get well again. Get well again. Pls, get well again!"

I'm so depressed. :(

If U read Jeremy's comment last nite, U know we had a crayzee adventure and never made it 2 that cowboy concert. Man, it was so hard 2 go back 2 my reg self after being hott 4 a while there, tho having that much "Patterson allure" had its scaree side 2. I can C how it must freak out Liz @ times. But I kinda wish I had a supply of thoze 'rots!!!

Apes

posted by April Patterson @ 8:07 AM  

4 Comments:

  • At 5:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Little sis. I guess dad and I did fix up the bathroom for Grandpa Jim after all. Frankly, I am glad we have moved past what I said I did when I wrote my monthly letter 21 days ago. I never could tell if something had happened or was going to happen, that I thought had already happened when I wrote the letter. Sometimes it is better not to know the future, I mean, aside from knowing that my book on Sheilagh Shaugnessey will become a runaway bestseller and I will make so much money from it that I will be able to afford to buy a house and quit my job at Portrait Magazine to spend my days pursuing my dream as a book author. I know that is going to happen, but it hasn’t happened yet. That’s a lot different from thinking you have done bathroom upgrades and written about doing them, when nobody is talking about them as if you hadn’t done them at all.

    I know for yourself, it must be satisfying to know that you will go to university, get your veterinary degree, marry your childhood sweetheart Gerald, and make lots of grandbabies for mom. There’s a certain part of me that looks forward to seeing you fulfill your destiny. But there’s another part of me that thinks I will never see you achieve these goals. Just like, I have this vague feeling that I never actually saw myself making bathroom upgrades, and things would have been better if I had, instead of just reading about you talking about Iris mentioning it to Grandpa Jim. It’s a good thing I work in a written medium and not a visual one, so I am able to adjust to these little inconsistencies in my Pattersonian life. You should keep up your writing, so you can too.

    Love,
    Michael Patterson

     

  • At 6:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    April,

    Boozhoo (Hello).

    I read your writings about your nokomis (grandmother) and your ngashi (mother) and your nimishoo (uncle) taking your mishomis (grandfather) home. I am glad to hear your mishomis (grandfather) is doing so well to be able to leave the hospital. That is very good news.

    I have been having a great time at the Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) pow-wow. Vivian Crane, the local nurse, asked me how things were going with Elizabeth, and I told her about your mishomis (grandfather) having a stroke and getting to go home after only 3 weeks with a nurse visit twice a day. Vivian Crane asked the usual questions people ask when I tell them about your mishomis (grandfather), like “Why isn’t he getting therapy in the hospital before he comes home?” and “Why has his stroke affected both his legs, when strokes usually affect one side of the body?” and “How could the hospital let him go so quickly?” and things like that. All I can really say is what Elizabeth tells me, which is “Things are different in the South.” In Otter County, people usually stare at me like I said something stupid, when I say that, but in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees), your sister must have gotten people used to how things are in the South, so their answer is usually like what Vivian Crane said, which is, “It’s Waabshki-Nika (White Goose’s) mishomis (grandfather), so it makes sense.”

    Thanks to my friend Susan Dokis (whom I call Chipper), I got back into doing pow-wow dancing. I found my old Traditional Dance costume, and practiced my old moves, and competed today. There were a lot of good dancers, so I don’t think I won the competition, but I did better than I thought I would. Chipper said, “Suds (her nickname for me), you looked pretty good dancing out there. I saw a lot of young girls looking at you. They might try to steal you from Elizabeth, since she’s not here to defend you.” I said, “Well Chipper, I better stay next to you to be safe.” Chipper said, “But who’s going to defend you from me, Suds?” Chipper has such a great sense of humour.

    Speaking of native humour, I have been getting a lot of jokes here in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees). They are starting to call me “Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) Cop” because my transfer doesn’t seem to be going through very quickly. It is funny. But when my transfer does go through, they will have to come up with another way to poke fun at me.

    You should have seen Chipper in the Jingle Dress dance competition. I think she will win it without any trouble, but they haven’t announced the results yet. She has really embraced the traditions of our people and it showed in her dancing. When she was dancing, I didn’t notice any of the other dancers. She was that good. I said to Chipper after she danced, “You better watch out for the young men in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees). After that dance, they will be at your door howling for cookies or a date.” Chipper said, “Suds. I already have an understanding with the young men in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) about my availability. They know I have my heart set on something other than them.” I said, “A boy from Spruce Narrows?” Chipper said, “No, Suds. Someone who lives further away than that.” I said, “Well, whoever he is, he is one lucky inini (man).” Chipper said, “That is true, but he does seem to have a hard time noticing the obvious.” I said, “Should I have a talk with him?” Chipper said, “Only if you like talking to yourself.” I said, “He’s not much of a talker, eh?” Chipper said, “Something like that.”

    The people in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) seem to really like Chipper. I was talking to Jesse Mukwa’s Aunt Margaret and she had a lot of good things to say about her. She said, “Jesse is like a changed boy with Miss Dokis. He would go over to the teacherage, like he used to with Elizabeth, and he would beg for cookies. Miss Patterson would give him and the other kids cookies, but Miss Dokis said to them, ‘You don’t get cookies from me, until you can tell me something you learned in school today.’ Jesse is getting fat, but he is also getting smarter. And Miss Dokis wouldn’t let Jesse get away with telling a joke in class. She said to Jesse, ‘If you are going to be a healer and a shaman, you have to be the smartest man in the village.’ At first Jesse was mad, but then Miss Dokis did something no other teacher in Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) ever did for Jesse. She came to visit us with our village shaman, and he had a serious talk with Jesse about what it took to be a shaman and healer. And not just Jesse either, but she spends a lot of extra time with the kids like Jesse, who don’t have any ningitiziim (parents). She is like a mother to them. She would make someone an excellent wife.” I was very happy to hear her speak nice things about Chipper.

    I said to Chipper, “I heard you have a little shaman/healer in Jesse Mukwa.” Chipper said, “Suds. Jesse is phenomenal. Did you know that when Elizabeth was here and she had that stargazing party, he was responsible for getting it organized?” I said I heard something about him telling his Aunt Marge and it moving on from there. Then Chipper said, “Then when Elizabeth was getting homesick, he was the one who found her cat to help her with her homesickness, and made up this whole story about it being a homeless kitten, so she would take it in.” I said, “I am very familiar with Shiimsa. And I have the scars to prove it.” Chipper said, “Where?” I showed her the scar on my forehead. Chipper said, “Let me kiss it better.” So she did. Chipper said, “Do you have any more?” I showed her the scar on my chest and she kissed it better. Chipper said, “Any others?” I said, “I have a lot near my niinag (man parts), but I don’t think you want to kiss those.” Chipper said, “Maybe later.” Chipper has such a great sense of humour.

    That is what has been going on here. You should come to a Mtigwaki (Land of Trees) pow-wow sometime. I think you would have a great time.

    Gi'-ga-wa-ba-min' na-gutch! (See you later!)
    Constable Paul Wright

     

  • At 7:21 PM, Blogger howard said…

    April,

    Becky and I spent the day over at your grandmother’s apartment. The first part of the day, I spent adjusting the handles in the washrooms and banisters along the halls, your brother and father had installed. They are both pretty tall and for whatever reason, they didn’t seem to understand that your grandpa is shorter than they are. Everything was set too high. But don’t worry. Becky is about your grandpa’s height, and I was able to use her as a model for the correct level. While I was doing this, Iris was doing some things with your grandpa, I am sure you will write about tomorrow.

    After we were done with this, Becky had to leave for a rehearsal for her band in preparation for the Gym/Jam coming up soon, as I am sure you have been rehearsing also, even though you have not mentioned it in your Blog. Now that Becky is a pop music superstar, she wants to make sure her performance is especially good, because people will be holding to a very high standard.

    I spent the afternoon taking care of your grandpa and I let Iris sleep. She has barely had any sleep for the last 3 weeks, and it really showed. She kept mumbling, “Please get well again” over and over, like she was working on the last little bit of her adrenalin to keep going. I made her a big meal (since she barely ate anything at the hospital), and said, “You just sleep, Iris, until you can’t sleep any more. I know all about taking care of disabled old people from working at the Milborough Seniors’ Living Palace before.” She went to bed, and she has been sleeping ever since.

    In the meantime, I have been working your grandpa through the daily activities of getting to and from his “specially narrowed to get through doors” wheelchair (don’t get me started on that monstrosity) to the toilet and the dining room chair, the chesterfield, and to the bath; and I looked for ways to make each transition easier for someone like Iris who is not as strong as I am. After Iris wakes up, I will show her how to lift Jim, to help him turn over, to move him to and from a wheelchair, and how to give him a bath. I plan to help her out as much as I can, before I have to go to prison. After that, I hope you and your family will step in and give Iris the chance to rest and relax. I don’t know how much rest Iris will get with the nurse there twice a day.

    Howard Bunt

     

  • At 11:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    april, i read ur blog 2 my mom aftah i woke up this mornin’ aftah we had our long nite 2gethah. az u know, mom works @a hospital in toronto, so she haz been helpin’ me unnerstand wut u have been goin’ thru. or rather, she haz been helpin’ me unnerstand wut you should b goin’ thru. like 2day, wen i told her that ur grandpa wuz goin’ home aftah 3 weeks in hospital & gettin’ a nurse visit 2x a day. mom sed, “wtf? how did he get in-home assistance 2x a day?” i sed, “well, he’s a wwii vet, so mebbe he haz good vet insurance.” my mom sed, “jeremy. assistance thru veteran affairs mite help. but 4 most folks n their situation, 1st u have 2 get the ontario health insurance plan number, then u get an assessment 4 in-home assistance & then the absolute max u can expect 2 get aftah the assessment iz 2 hours each weekday, & then it wud prolly b nurse’s aides & not trained nurses.” i sed, “u kinda lost me there, mom.” my mom sed, “wut it meanz iz that sum1 iz payin’ 4 thoze nurses outa their own pocket. prolly dr. patterson, cuz he or sum1 n hiz staff wud have the connectionz 2 find nurses 2 take the job, & he haz enuff money 2 do it.” i sed, “oh. it must b nice 2 have money.” mom sed, “ur completely rite ‘bout that jeremy.” i don’t know if u know 4 sure, but mebbe ur dad iz payin’ 4 this stuff ur grandpa iz gettin’.

     

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