A filler story abt the pets
Mom was complaining that Liz feeds Shiimsa 2 much, and I told her that doesn't sound likely cuz Shiims is lookin' pretty bony. Mom got pretty insisty abt it, like, "But U shd have C'n that food bowl, sitting empty on the floor, only moments after Liz brought up the food." I'm all, "Mom, that doesn't even make sense. I mean, 4 one thing, if Shiimsa gobbled her food quickly, Y wd that mean she's being overfed? Wdn't it make more sense that if she were that hungry, mayB she were being underfed? And besides, didn't it seem a lil odd that the bowl was on the floor? Liz feeds Shiimsa up on that desk, 2 keep the food away from the dogs. Mom didn't really say NEthing, just kinda stared @ me w/that annoyed look of hers.
Then I sed, "Hey, I know! Y don't we check that security cam Liz set up in her room cuz she's paranoid abt all of us messing w/her stuff?" Mom seemed like she was getting ready 2 object, but then I guess she got curious, and we went.
We had 2 ff'd past a buncha shots of Liz clutching her bunny and crying, Robin and Merrie coming in and throwing the bunny @ ea other, Mike coming in w/a tape measure and measuring the dimensions of the room, Dad coming in 2 kiss a picture of Anthony, stuff like that. But then we got 2 sum stuff from earlier that day. We saw Liz carrying the catfood in2 the room and dumping it fr the can in2 the dish. We saw Shiimsa hop up, give it a quick sniff, and then jump down w/out eating NEthing. THEN! A bit l8r, we saw Edgar and Dixie appear, w/wide-eyed, stoopid xxpressions on their doggie faces. We saw Eddie putting his front paws up on the chair and sticking his face in2 Shiimsa's food dish. Then we saw him knocking the dish on2 the floor, where Dixie finished up, and Edgar licked up the food bits from the floor. Then they both were all "LICK LICK LICK" all over the floor. Then, a bit l8er we cd C Mom coming in, finding the empty dish on the floor, and scolding Liz.
So, mystery solved. Liz, U need a better system 4 keeping the catfood away from thoze dogs.
Apes
Then I sed, "Hey, I know! Y don't we check that security cam Liz set up in her room cuz she's paranoid abt all of us messing w/her stuff?" Mom seemed like she was getting ready 2 object, but then I guess she got curious, and we went.
We had 2 ff'd past a buncha shots of Liz clutching her bunny and crying, Robin and Merrie coming in and throwing the bunny @ ea other, Mike coming in w/a tape measure and measuring the dimensions of the room, Dad coming in 2 kiss a picture of Anthony, stuff like that. But then we got 2 sum stuff from earlier that day. We saw Liz carrying the catfood in2 the room and dumping it fr the can in2 the dish. We saw Shiimsa hop up, give it a quick sniff, and then jump down w/out eating NEthing. THEN! A bit l8r, we saw Edgar and Dixie appear, w/wide-eyed, stoopid xxpressions on their doggie faces. We saw Eddie putting his front paws up on the chair and sticking his face in2 Shiimsa's food dish. Then we saw him knocking the dish on2 the floor, where Dixie finished up, and Edgar licked up the food bits from the floor. Then they both were all "LICK LICK LICK" all over the floor. Then, a bit l8er we cd C Mom coming in, finding the empty dish on the floor, and scolding Liz.
So, mystery solved. Liz, U need a better system 4 keeping the catfood away from thoze dogs.
Apes
Labels: crowded house, Liz, Mom, pets, Sundays
posted by April Patterson @ 6:44 AM
4 Comments:
At 9:47 AM,
howard said…
April,
The trouble with being in the Spruce Narrows jail, is you don't know when you are going to get a chance to write something to you. I did read your story about your sister's cat turning up her nose at her food only to have the dogs eat it, and your mother coming to the conclusion the cat is being overfed. When I told that story to Constable Paul Wright he laughed so hard, I was worried about his sanity. You may not be aware of this, but when he was wooing your sister, he had to provide a fresh fish for the cat everytime he visited or he would get scratched. Or sometimes, if the cat didn't like the fresh fish, he would get scratched. Even if the cat liked the fresh fish, if he didn't bring enough of it, he would get scratched. Then he told all these stories about how whenever your sister had problems with her cat, she would shove it in the cat carrier for hours at a time. Constable Paul Wright thinks that kind of treatment made the cat mean.
I wasn't sure I believed your sister was that incompetent a cat owner, but the good constable showed me a few cat scratch scars which are a pretty telling proof. The man must have really been in love with your sister to put up with that. I hate to say it, April, but I think your sister was an idiot for throwing away a guy like this. Of course she is feeding a cat in her room, which means her room reeks of cat food, and she leaves the door to her room open when there are dogs running loose in the house. Yet more proof your sister is not very bright.
As for your mother believing an empty bowl means being overfed, it seems like an odd conclusion, but when you consider your mother's ability to consume mass quantities of pastries, perhaps less so.
As for my case, my lawyer, Mr. Benis, is filing the appeal of my case at the Court of Appeal for Ontario, at Osgoode Hall, on Monday. He reviewed his own personal transcripts of the case to make up a list of all the infractions of proper court procedure, not the least of which was the lack of a court reporter and court clerk. When I think back to my trial, I would have to admit, I never saw a court reporter or a court clerk. Mr. Benis says they typically sit in desks in front of the judge and would be visible to someone looking directly at the judge's bench. Mr. Benis is confident about my appeal. As he puts it, "I have never seen so poorly run a courtroom in all my years as a lawyer."
Becky apparently is having a great time with Susan Dokis up in Mtigwaki, and even did an impromptu concert at the band hall with her backup tracking tapes, which she carries wherever she goes. Apparently, last June, Jesse Mukwa got a nice sound system, and he plays for dances for the kids, particularly during the snowy months when it is pretty cold outside. Becky may have more details about that she may want to tell you, if she feels so inspired.
That's it for me. After Mr. Benis applies for my appeal, then he will get a court date for my bail hearing and it will be back to Toronto for me.
Howard Bunt
At 12:40 PM,
duncan anderson said…
Oh, man, Apes, thats the 1st time evah that my mom wldnt let u in the house. Plus she hired sum 'puter geek 2 put sum nanny net minder software on my 'puter 2morrow what a PITA theres a waste of a day figuring out how 2 take it off.
Im so boned. Rite now my mom & Perdita r fiting ovah the fone. Perdita says she needs me in Barbados 4 March break cos Redd Hott Bajan Mammas will b rilly busy & its always busy @ the goat farm. My mom says I cant have ne fun. Perdita says she nevah had ne fun so no prob making sure I dont have ne fun if mom lets me go. I want 2 go, Id rather muck out goat pens and wash dishes than have my dad avoid me & my mom glower @ me all week.
L8r.
p.s. I havent hurd from Zed I guess she still doesnt <3 me nemore.
p.p.s. Beckers, if u r reading this, the Picton Peeler poledances 2 a bootleg of u performing Purple Lips. U & yr lawyers shld sue her & Gordo's Grotto.
At 1:14 PM,
April Patterson said…
howard, the worst thing w/liz an' the whole paul thing is she gets s00per-mad when i say nething like she threw him away. she totally acts like it's a sitch that happened 2 her.
the more i hear abt how the trial was handled, the more i think that sumday school kids will b learning abt it as sum huge low pt in legal history. that is if we don't suddenly hit the end of history itself. "the end of history itself"? what the heck made me write that?
dunc, yr mom was s00per cold 2 me when i came by yesterday. i've never c'n her like that b4!!!
apes
At 9:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
April,
Paul's experience with your sister's cat doesn't surprise me. Bucky has managed to insure I haven't gotten a second date in four years. Your date tends to get angry when she finds out your cat has chewed the strap off her purse.
I can't believe your Mom has lived with dogs for the last 25 years and still hasn't learned that they will eat anything available. I can see where your sister got her pet care skills from.
Rob
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