April's Real Blog

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Over and Over

Every once in a while, Mom likes 2 issue, like, lessons 2 every1 on being a married couple. Like just now, it just happed that every1 was having brekky @ the same time (usually we try 2 do shifts), and Mom decided w/every1 gathered it was a good idea 2 "impart the wit, the wisdom, the wry turn of phrase," or whatevs. So while I was eating my granola (bought myself and stashed away), and Liz had toast w/jam, and Dee had Special K, Mike had toasted waffles, Dad scarfed his "Toasty Trains" cereal, the littles had scrambled eggs, and mom devoured her chocolate-chip muffins and skim latte, Mom told us abt a recent visit she an' Dad had w/Gramps an' Iris.

Mom sez that while they were there, they of course had tea, and Iris served bran muffins with the tea ("Helps keep you regular, dears!"). Gramps sat on one end of the chesterfield, Dad on the opposite end, and Mom in the middle. Mom sez that she and Gramps looked at photo albums while Dad sorta looked askance @ them from his side of the couch. Mom kinda snuggled up 2 Gramps as he held the red album. (They had the blue album out, 2.)

When they were ready 2 leave, Mom was all, "We'll B leaving now, Iris." And Iris was all, "It's been a nice visit, dear." Then, 2 Gramps, Mom was like, "Goodbye, Dad. Take care of yrself." And when Gramps sed, "Yes," Mom went on w/"C U soon," and he sed "yes" again.

Gramps and Iris both came 2 the apt door 2 wave (usually Iris is the only one who does), and then Mom and Dad went out and in2 the car. As Mom was seatbelting herself, she sed, "John, I wonder what's going 2 happen 2 us. I wonder which one of us will B dependent 1st." Mom told us that Dad sed, "...I think abt that, 2." Mom was all, "I worry abt losing my memory." And then, "I can't imagine what wd happen if I cdn't remember who U were!" Mom paused dramatically B4 telling us what Dad sed next, our big clue that this was gonna B the clincher of her whole story: "Well..... We'd just have 2 keep falling in luv over and over again."

Me: But how do U know U wdn't get 2 know ea other again but not like ea other @ all?

Mom: April, that's ridiculous! Michael, can U believe yr Martian teenangster sister sed such a thing?

Mike: Sadly, Mother, nuthing that comes out of my baby sister's mouth surprises me NEmore! She certainly has a lot 2 learn!

Me (whispering 2 Liz): He is such a suck-up!

Liz: I know that! Do U think I don't know that? But I have my own problems! I found a message board last nite, and I thot it wd B nice B-cuz it's all abt discussing what's going on in Milboro, and I saw there were whole threads abt our family. But then I saw they call me the "Grieving Widow" and all sorts of other mean things. It is a mean, mean message bd.

Me: Oh, uh, sorry 2 hear it.

Mom: Can we get back on topic?

Dee: Elly, I thot that was a wonderful story. And so sweet! I'll bet U 2 wd fall in luv again over an' over again if U lost yr memory of each other.

Mom: Thank U! That's more like it!

Merrie: Robin spat on my eggs! Need new eggs!

And then things just sort of went off in2 a diff tangent.

Vicks, I M so glad I went w/U an' the other V-girls 2 Kool Haus. That was soooo much fun, and it was gr8 getting outta the Patterson Haus!


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  • At 4:48 PM, Anonymous michael patterson said…


    Little sis. You certainly do have a lot to learn. If mom and dad want to maintain the fiction they will keep falling in love over and over again in the event they lose their memory of each other, then I see no reason not to encourage them. Mom is under the impression dad will take care of her, if she is the first one dependent and likewise dad of mom. However, anyone taking a good look at the way mom and dad are in caregiver sorts of roles, particularly after Grandpa Jim’s stroke, would rapidly come to the conclusion that this belief was not founded in solid fact.

    When I was choosing a wife, these particular characteristics of mom and dad were readily apparent, and it is one of the few aspects where I was particular in choosing a romantic partner who was not like mom. Mira Sobinski, for all her unhealthy and unwholesome criticism of things, does do everything for Wilf Sobinski. If he were the first of the couple to go dependent, he can count on Mira to take care of him. There does come a time in life, when you want a partner who smothers you with gifts and attention. Deanna and my mom have many things in common with respect to their devotion to family, but Deanna has that characteristic of Mira’s in her possession, and because of that, I know I am set for life.

    If, for example, you find that your childhood sweetheart is not the sort of person who will devote himself to you, even after you lose your brain, then I strongly suggest you date a childhood sweetheart who will while there are still boys your age who can qualify. I had at least 3 childhood sweethearts, and when Deanna came back into my life, I was dating Rhetta Blum, whom I can tell you would definitely not be willing to take care of a brainless, dependent me. Your single-minded devotion to Gerald is admirable, but may not be the best choice for you when you are in the twilight years of your life. This is, of course, your own situation to judge.

    As for mom and dad, I hope they have money set aside for a home. I have the feeling once one of them goes dependent, they will find themselves in a home faster than they can say, "Navette."

    Michael Patterson

  • At 5:00 PM, Anonymous jeremy jones said…

    april, i sumtymez wondah ‘bout the same thing az ur mom. we have a histry which iz not gr8 & i can tell a lotta tymez u still kinda don’t like me. if we both lost our memoriez, so u wudn’t remembah the things which led up 2 my car accident & i wud forget u wrote the germy, wormy jeremy jones song, i wondah if things wud b the same.

  • At 5:11 PM, Blogger April Patterson said…

    mike, it doesn't matter, mom will believe what she wants 2 believe even if i question her. actually, she'll believe it even harder. so prolly i did her a favour.

    jeremy, a v. interesting question.



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